As a golden rule, narcissism usually stems from insecurity and selfishness. I have learned from years of dating that whenever a partner is laying down rules that they themselves do not follow, it's time to say goodbye. Also if they nit pick about your appearance or any other of your routines in your life, that's a big red flag. If someone is trying to change who you are or mold you into what they want you to be, it's time to get out of that relationship. We all need to know our value and be able to see our worth. Nobody deserves to be abused by a narcissistic individual.
My ex had a hairy and I mean bear hairy chest and I found it masculine and attractive! One time I asked him if he ever thought of shaving it and he said that was q shit I don’t wanna have my comment removed so I’m using q hope you aren’t offended I didn’t say it! Well he had an affair after faking a fallout sending me to prison as a result and lost our son well he did nothing to get him back the whole time I was gone but rather played house with an ex friend of mine and a chic I’d never met! He shaved his chest for her and has been doing so ever since! But I thought it was qu stuff? I’m forever confused he is never the same never consistent and forever accusing me of this or that and finding fault with my choices of natural medicines instead of western pharmaceuticals all of a sudden.. and having a drink is bad and our relationship has ended after divorcing and beginning again he has taken in this bs now as abusive behavior before it was physical and emotional and mental! Just emotional and mental now and running when he wants to be physically abusive! Hey that’s progress but is it truth? I never know! I’m so damaged I hate me and my life and I just want to die! I’m confused and he breadcrumbs and baits me until explosive rage! It’s not a new thing it’s a 26 year long tortuous treacherous hell I’ve been living in and still I long for him and try and explain and continually apologize for stuff I don’t need to apologize for it’s so damn ridiculous and I want the cycles to stop so badly but I’m so trauma bonded!
@@nikkijohnson-russell2742 that word doesn't offend me personally. I grew up in a time when people weren't offended over words. And to be honest, I have tons of body hair from head to toe. It's super soft and keeps me warm in the winter lol. Everyone is different and has different likes and dislikes. I've found that some women are turned off by the body hair and some women absolutely love it. What is most important is how we feel about ourselves because a really low self esteem can make us vulnerable to abusive individuals. Your ex sounds like he has personal problems and insecurities that directly affect his behavior. None of his cheating, mind games or abuse are your fault.
Selfishness is a understatement, Monstrously selfish is more accurate , these people truly don't care for anyone but themselves, if others can see what they they truly are , no one would want to be in the same room as them , but these narcissist are deceptive and can fake empathy and being good to trick others . They are sick people, everything they speak ,imagine them in a stray jacket , because that's exactly what you are dealing with. Another thing I noticed over the years is they tend to be boring , that's what happens when all your effort and mind is in to looking cool or superior or just for your ego , you don't really dive into other subjects, its all just things relevant to their ego .They care ALOT how they are view by the public, very fragile and serious on how they are viewed by the majority, way way more than a normal person . The best thing and only thing really you can do is to get away from them and go no contact , never speak to them again or interact with them . Detect early , the earlier the better , get away as soon as possible and stay away , never return no matter what , go no contact and Grey rock in the mean time if you can't get away immediately. They will go back and forth with you until you ir they kill eachother or when you get away after a long time , its gonna just be painful memories. Pray for them from afar .
I lived with many narcissists for many years of my life. What I experienced was MUCH worse than anything you describe. They were cruel, manipulative, violent abusers with no capacity for empathy or sympathy for anyone else. Their only concern EVER was for and about themselves. I didn’t understand what was happening until I researched for myself what was going on. Then I walked away with no regrets. To everyone who might read this: if you discover you are being damaged by a narcissist, RUN! JUST RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK!
I've been lucky not to be stuck with narcissists in my life. As soon as I suspect someone is manipulating me, if I feel worse after being around them instead of better or the same, that's a huge red flag and it's time to cut them out of my life. I do have an advantage, though, in that I'm content to be alone. For those who really need to feel a connection with others, I can see how hard it might be to walk away.
Same here...I love people, but also love to be alone. And, it must be a miracle, or maybe just that the narcissists I have come in contact with, sensed that I would not be an 'easy' victim and rather looked elsewhere.
Listen to your gut. It never lies. When you get a bad feeling about someone, run away and don't look back. I too love being alone, or in the company of animals. That is when I feel happiest.
People who can have control of if you feel good or worse around really stems from you having a very weak mind.. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.. We're not living on a spinning ball globe earth. Being hurdled throughout space at 66,000 mph. While spinning at 1000+mph
I learned not to let my entire life be controlled off completely ""Feelings""..I watch what people ""Do"" in actions more than anything..I control my feelings not others, has become a major key in controlling my life.
1. Intermittent reinforcement... positive feedback followed up by negitive feedback. 2. Baiting... they say and do things to get emotional reactions out of you, to make you look bad. 3. Intellectual bullying... gives you a whole lot of info to you to confuse you and overwhelm you. 4. Bedcrumbing... gives you just enough to keep you hooked and comming back to them. 5. Triangulation They pit people against each other to favor them. 6. Exaggeration.... gaslighting calling you a liar, and pointing out all your flaws to make themselveslook more important and better than others, for one reason or another. 7. Mirroring .... they fake your movements and personal intrests to use it against you.
@Mary Carroll The X would usually trip over his lip with friends/family or whom he saw as an audience. He would silently compete for attention, those vulnerable coverts are silent but deadly !
The Narcissist' mind games is a thinking game like playing Chess, When my Husband tries to play Mind Games with me, he usually loses, because what he says and does is so repetitive, and he is so predictable, I usually know what his next move is going to be. CHECKMATE!
At age 24, I was manipulated and fooled big time. I am 65, healed, and finally I now love myself enough to stay away from the cruel people in my in-laws and anywhere I go.
So happy for you! I'm still suffering in this marriage but I will thrive again. At 55yrs old, what a living hell 8 years in and no sign of being able to leave anytime soon, but I will get free! Take care of you!
I let my family narcs mistreat me much more than I would have any one else. My late mother had somehow given me the message that I should hold everyone together after she passed. It's been 5 years since I declared that wasn't happening anymore! It's been great! Less aggravation, more time for me and more money in my bank account!!!
As soon as you realize, cut them off immediately. Silence is your best weapon, block the number. They point out your flaws, they know your insecurities . They will never change. They are incapable of loving you. You are on point.
Yes, sadly I've observed all these gimmicks and traits of a narcissist. I also had one encounter with a sociopath, which is like a narc x100. Luckily I'm quite intuitive on a spiritual level, I can basically sense when a person isn't being genuine...it's not their words it's their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, fake laugh, just really a deeper level of communication with them. Look at their ACTUAL intentions and their ACTUAL actions, not their words. Anyone can say anything.
My ex has done all of these things. He recently hoovered which didn’t work I might add, but I noticed he was mirroring what I was saying, I found it interesting to observe what he was doing, he also went for my sympathy and when I had enough and backed off, he went straight into love bombing. It was such bizarre behaviour. Thanks to videos like yours I was able to be aware of all these things. I think it’s sad really that narcissists are like this and will not even try and get help, they are just doomed to be miserable.
Mine was diagnosed with acute melancholia at age 14...but it was a manipulation; he was the eldest, his brother was 4 years younger then his mum had a daughter which is when it started.
@@someguy9519 it’s interesting that is what changed your ex. I talked through things with mine and mentioned his childhood he didn’t like that and told me not to go there. I always knew something had happened in his childhood to make him like this.
Same here. My ex did (or at least tried) every single one of these things. I was vulnerable to some, but not others. Intellectual bullying doesn't work on me because I have been surrounded by lawyers , politicians and manipulative people my whole life. I have have enough practice disentangling their word webs to avoid being overwhelmed. Baiting worked for a while. If I lost control of my emotions and raised my voice, he'd laugh and say "Look at you getting so upset." And "I didn't say that." about things he just said. I started screenshotting some of his BS and sending it to others to confirm I wasn't imagining things. That made his triangulation worse. He wanted to discredit the people who got in the way of his psychological power over me. He tried to make me distrust everyone but him, saying he was the only one who was honest with me. Meanwhile, he was anything but honest. He had so many lies, he couldn't keep track of it all. You are not crazy. Sorry you had to deal with a person like that. I'm glad that I finally separated from the one who was doing these things to me.
I was involved with a narcissist for almost 2 years. I feel like he studied my post on Facebook and decided that the post read an empathetic woman. Not to mention I’m in my 40’s and he was 7 years younger than me. He needed a mature woman due to him not having a positive mother figure growing up, he was in the foster system. Around after 3 months things went from adventurous to toxic, what I called the end of a baiting tactic. He seen that I was in love with him and then the red flags came. They were waving in the wind and I paid them no mind. The disrespect start coming and then an apology was not too far behind, the bread crumbing became present. I can go on but when we broke up, it was so much roller coasting it would make me sick! I’m so glad that I’m out of that situation, it can cause anxiety because you don’t know which person you’re going to get!
Yes, I can relate to some of this. I have an older sister who is a Malignant Narcissist. She loved being an only child & didn’t want a sibling. Mind games, gaslighting i.e. doing things & then trying to convince me or others that I did it. Physical abuse- picking fights with me, slapping me or hitting, etc. used emotional black mail against my Mom, “ You either always stick up for me or I’ll take my car & leave & you will never see me again “. She got on Facebook and now has all of my grammar school class mates on HER page. Since my Mom died at 90 back in 2014, I have not talked to her. She’s 3 years older than I am & I will turn 59 this year. I wish that when parents see this in their family, they would just get the Narcissist to a shrink & at least try to sort this all out early. Because the Narcissists are so destructive & it can last a lifetime.
I am very keen on picking up when someone is trying to manipulate me. I can't guarantee I am immune, but I do notice when someone is trying to fluff my skirt.
1. 1:04 INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT: You get positive feedback (love, approval)and negative feedback (anger, jealousy, rage) - intermittently..the reward is inconsistent and gets you hooked. (The addiction doesn't happen if the reward is there or isn't there, but consistently) Every narcissist will use it, consciously or not. It's used for the purpose of control. A clue could be: hot-and-cold behaviour (mixed messages). Acting cold for no reason or ghosting after a few months. (Jackyl and Hide, push-pull) 2. 3:31 BAITING: If they know they can say sth that will trigger you, they will say it, to their advantage. (1.It will make them feel powerful and in control 2.it will make you look like you're the problem, in front of an audience) 3. 4:36 INTELLECTUAL BULLYING: They will throw a lot of information at you, to throw you off your game. The info can be about a topic, or just word salad. (It implies you're inferior). This way they prevent you from reaching your goal of clarifying things with them. (Sales people also do that). It gives them upper hand in communication and in the negotiation. (Let the seller know it's getting a bit too convoluted and you're stepping out) 4. 6:42 BREADCRUMBING: Either early on or later: between a discard and a hoover. They like to know that you're on the hook They're giving you just enough communication, just enough positive reaffirmation, to keep you interested and wondering if they will come back. (To keep you thinking about them) we tend to think that things we have to work harder for are more valuable. 5. 7:20 TRIANGULATION: Pinning people against each other. They will do it in all sorts of relationships (boss-employee, parent-child, partners). It will make you work harder for their approval. 6. 8:48 EXAGGERATION (and GASLIGHTING): They retail the events inaccurately, blowing it out of proportion. This makes you doubt yourself and how you behave, instead of think of what you wanted to do You will be more prone to take on their reality. 7. 10:24 MIRRORING (LIMBIC SYNCHRONY) Similar posture, body language, tone of voice, volume etc. It can be faked with the goal of creating connection. ============= Use your intuition, be observant and look for red flags.
I've summed them all up ,as soon as I come into contact with them ,what such VILE INDIVIDUALS ,KEEP AWAY FROM ME 😡😡🤬🤬🤬 YOU ARE SCUM ,PLAYING BIG BREADCRUMBS , VINDICTIVE NARCISSISTIC SOCIAPATHS THAT JUST CAN'T RESIST DOING IT .
Some of these are what criminal lawyers do in a courtroom, what salespeople do to convince, what bosses do to make a team deliver outcomes... how else to distinguish?
Maybe part of you needs this or feeds this behavior. Just be aware and don't fall for the bait. Meaning like in Football, the other team will taunt and maybe even make a shove here or there. It is the one that shoves back that gets blamed and gets the Flag and penalty. Keep healthy boundaries!
@@Truestorycory When in doubt, bail out early. No living together, no kids together, no engagement etc. If you see signs she is not the one, don't even get laid, just get out. It very well could be a trap. Remember when it comes to emotional game, you won't come out on top, you simply lack the practice!
This video was so difficult to watch, I was stuck in an abusive relationship with a narcissist for 5 years, I never knew what a narcissist was, what all these things were called. I sit and have a thousand examples to every point you make and that’s why I found this so difficult to watch, I get frustrated and feel angry at the mind games and the confusion of being at the receiving end of his mind games. it’s so important though, I’ll be on the lookout for these signs for the rest of my life. Thank you! I wish I’d found your page sooner x
It’s so sad how common these situations are. I’m trying to maintain the strength to not fall into bad habits. How did you get out, if you don’t mind me asking?
I was.in the same.mess for over5 years but not anymore what a mess especially when he would lie and cheat. And get caught up on and try putting it on me wow.what.a mine game no one needs to put their life through. Such..game I found myself.and Iet it go thank God I am blessed
Was in the same position in a relationship, but for over 10 yrs. Didn't know what it was called but after getting out of that situation a few years later found myself in a situation inwhich my supervisor's behavior was eerily similar and equally abusive. I started searching for ways to deal with difficult people at work and stumbled on videos on youtube, and was educated! Now I know what it's called and am very careful about getting entNgled in any situation in which I have to endure these tactics. I am quick to recognize these things and try to educated others and to encourage others to learn how to protect themselves.
Thank you.... my eyes are truly opened to my husband. I figured there was a lot of manipulation by him, and now, after 42 yrs..... he definitely IS a narcissist.
I’ve had 2 long term “best friends” who did all of these things. It took me way too long to see it and to walk away. One of them stalked me on Facebook for well over 6 years. Thanks for articulating and validating what I experienced.
Ive had a couple of close friends over the years who were toxic also. I now try to understand myself better and why I attract these people. Its pretty eye opening learning about Narcissism like watching rhis video.
I've learned so much since I learned about Narcissists and what was going on with those relationships, but the most powerful lesson I've learned is to trust myself and discern others.Not be judgemental but listen to my intuition. Those feelings you get when someone is lying to you for example. You can't prove their lying to you so you give them the benefit of the doubt and it turns out badly for you, if you woruld have trusted your instinct you could have saved yourself alot of heart ache. Anyone have those hindsights? Trust yourself and don't ever abandon yourself for another person. You matter! How you feel matters , it ends up being all about them and keeping them happy and it never works they end up sucking the life out of you and hurting your health and well being. They try to disrupt and put out that beautiful Light 🔆 that was shinning when they met you. They jealous of your Light because they can't connect to their own light and its sad but there is nothing you can do save them. They are great teachers though they teach us how to learn to Love ourselves . They teach us to grow.... I hope everyone finds their way out of these relationships and finds themselves again...Aloha
Firstly, I think narcissists usually are either handsome or beautiful or otherwise desirable to people and they learned early in life how to manipulate people who were loving on them to get what they want.
Maybe you both missed that I said “or otherwise desirable to people “. I don’t mind you adding your opinions but don’t flat out say I’m wrong when you’re so obviously unobservant.
Not always . The narcissist I met wasn't attractive by anyone's standards and he himself wondered how anyone would want to be with him. But he did all the cruel behaviours in the video in addition to breadcrumbing and mind games and ghosting and gaslighting.
The exaggeration example was stunningly relatable to me. I was once dragged into a conversation defending myself for two hours, simply trying to kindly explain why I would not be up for my girlfriend’s suggestion to go to a certain place over a weekend at a certain point. I then afterwards initiated a conversation with her, explaining how I see a problem in the way we relate to each other based on difficulties in resolving differences in opinions/preferences about what activities to do together. In turn, she had a meltdown, accusing me of plotting to ditch her and also evading my points by not replying to my request of what is going on that I have to spend an entire afternoon getting my “no” across, but instead saying things along the lines of “it is incredibly difficult for me to discuss this with you when you throw mud on our entire relationship like that and I wonder if you are done with us”. So all of a sudden, I was being put into a situation where I had to argue and explain myself that I did not try to abandon her at all, but that I just see a problem with feeling pressured and aggressively persuaded into compliance, and this became the main struggle of the conversation, ending in a rage attack and a one week long silent treatment as well as the cancellation of our entire vacations ahead on her initiative (it was a temporary long-distance situation). So, effectively, because I disagreed about a single specific request for a trip to a certain town, the entire relationship took a heavy blow. This is just a very general summary. But the basic issue was that apparently it was not part of her script that her partner was allowed to reject a plan she had envisioned and that when I recognized that, trying to go past the confusion and ask what is going on, she got highly uncomfortable and exaggerating my legitimate request for resolution so that she would never have to take accountability for her own conduct and throwing the ball right back to me. And when I refused to take the bait and insisted on resolution of my request, sanctions would follow in form of overt acts of aggression such as fits of rage and punishment via silence or cancelling vacations.
Welcome to the club. I've spent 5 years explaining to her that I can't be out in the heat because I get anxious. "Be a man!" or "You're pathetic!" will get thrown at me. Or worse. We live in Spain. It gets hot. I don't want to be outside. "No" is the word she can't take. So I am leaving. 8 years of bullying. Plain and simple.
This is why I am so glad for narc abuse channels; I don’t think I would have made it through probation without the validation of these videos to remind me what I’m dealing with, and how to take it less personally. They are actually trying to wreck your life for the sake of your being their toy. They don’t care how long or how hard you work. They don’t care if you arrive early or leave late. They don’t care about a professional appearance. They just need a tasty snack on your soul to give them the sugar rush that keeps them going. How can you take it personally when it’s all about them? Projection.
I waited for him to drink himself to blackout mode and then had him confess the abuse he put me through and got him to give his opinion on his boss and coworkers. He was aware the camera was on and even put on a show. He had to leave the state after that and there's peace in my life now. I use these videos as educational tools as I am now speaking up about this invisible abuse. Thank you 💞
Thank you and you look lovely your skin is glowing. Sadly I was with a narcissist for a few months and he actually likes to play mind games. I am an empath sadly I didn't see until I was discarded.
I'm sad I didn't see this 9 years ago. Stayed with a narcissist for far too long. I feel so much better knowing this. He uses all of these 😭. I appreciate this for my future relationships!
Thanks! This is excellent info! . And omg. The info about intellectual bullying is so amazingly RIGHT-ON! It’s directed at me ALL the TIME! Narcs also love ghosting to let u know know you’re disposable. If u defend yourself Against the narcs anger, u are an evil one, & the narc is a victim. We’re supposed to ignore the narc’s bad behavior forever, as if they were born w/ this disability. It’s more and more obvious that no contact is the only way to deal with narcs. As unconscious as they are, they are experts at finding one method of attack after another. The The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde pattern of behavior is never ending.
If you gotta work hard to be with someone then just move on...don’t fall into the manipulation... it’s not worth it. Your better off alone. Human beings are exasperating!
I don't agree that people are always better off alone. My grandmother had skin as thick as steel and was a master handler. She was very happy with my grandfather who was a manipulator. But she knew, like a clever fox, how to steer that energy and they were super successful and happy together. So, I think it is more a matter of finding the person you are happy with and that you know how to deal with and whatever their flaws are, that those flaws are easy for you to deal with or they don't bother you. Anyway, sure there are plenty of relationships that are better off broken, but I'm not ready to condemn everyone to a life of solitude. You just got to find what you are compatible with and probably not have unrealistic expectation of the 'perfect' partner and 'perfect' relationship. My grandmother just let my grandfather be who he was when it was needed and it rolled off her like water off a duck's feathers. But she was the master of the credit cards and the house and she always had his back. He thought he was the master of the family, but he certainly was the master of his field and as the core of a business. She was an absolutely awesome front person for the business. A very good formula for business success with decades of happy customers. The end result was a super successful marriage, and 15 properties acquired and trips and vacations around the world and kids in private schools, some of whom went on to be even wealthier. So, maybe learn to deal with people instead of avoiding them; most people can be put to good use and be very happy.
Yeah they just ignore you. I told one that I was ill and didn't want to die without finding peace with him and asked him to ask for forgiveness so I could forgive him (after having walked away from him for his sadism) and he just ignored me. Hopefully everyone finds out about him and his reputation gets destroyed as that's all he cares about (he's a writer online).
I felt overwhelmed by information back in college often times. The teachers would just ramble on then I’d have to make sense of it later. What bothered me was how unnecessarily complex they made things appear. The good teachers inbetween never did this. It makes me wonder what we really learn in school, or rather, what we become as a result
My parents are superb at intermittent reinforcement. It feels in the end like your living in a jar with your head bouncing off the sides not being able to see what's right or wrong, how you actually feel or how to get out. It's insidious and confusing and crazy making whrn you grow up this way as the rules are always changing thgoal posts never stay in place and my personal view is they do it to ensure the narrative they want. We are just pawns in the games being moved around but we don't know it. There is no pattern, there is no logic. The rule of thumb is they're protecting themselves and their egos in THAT MOMENT hence it's how they're feeling and nothing to do with anybody else. They don't care how you feel
@@superchuck3259 hi just seen your reply today. Thank you so very much. I'm going through the worst ever time in my life and still they're the same. It's how my foggy glasses came of! That's how I realised the facade and at 56 how I've wasted my life following their rules and regs and hoop jumping. It's the worst time I could have realised but had it not been for what I'm going through I still wouldn't have known. Google is my friend lol! Found many helpful channels thank goodness. I'm very ill so I cannot escape but it's how it showed up. I didn't know before what I didn't know. Thank you again for your kind reply, stay safe and take care of you ✌✋👋
Exactly, just keep listening to all the great people on TH-cam and you'll feel better and better and better. This gal here, and dr. Ramani and doctor Carter and more. This talk is awesome!
@@janetpattison8474 they're great I listen those as well dr. C. Is so kind, found myself wishing he had been my parent! Patrick Teahan is excellent as well
Brilliant video. Thanks for warning us in general. I have only recently encountered a narcissist and it is a horrendous, scary experience. I wish I had seen this beforehand.
I’ve experienced decades of being bated into a negative response, mostly so they can claim the victim role. I put an end to this for good! Gone no contact!
Unfortunately, my temper got the best of me, and I would fight back and become worse. I was so sick and tired of defending myself giving this man everything only to be criticized and dehumanized daily.
OMG !!! Me too !! I would lash out at her and regret it later it. She would use it against me and I couldn't deny her complaint. Even tho I was baited in the moment, I still carry guilt for it. Next time I'll have more class, and walk away. One moment comes to mind when we went to a concert and she kept telling me I was embarrassing her over and over...I was simply bobbing my head to the music. I said some nasty words, walked out and drove myself home. Little did I know she turned down another date for that show and she was stuck with me, so she ridiculed me for it most the night. So hurtful.
Word od Advice: Be leary of anyone in your life, thats preoccupied with an high adrenaline to see you broken and unhappy. That person is an arch enemy. Be ware!
The video went to my save list. It was awesome. In the shortest video possible a lot of information was delivered to the audience. Thank you very much.
NPD is demonic influence. It's a spiritual attack , hiding behind the term narcissism. Generational curse...they are channel's for evil spirits to attack you , and distract you , and knock you off the path God has for you. Look up the jezebel spirit , and Delilah spirit , and leviathan.
My dad 😞 💯 BUT my dad got this way FROM being abused himself by his father! it’s a vicious cycle that seems to never end. It’s exhausting. 🥺 I am crying even typing this… ☹️
After growing up with a narcissist parent, a narcissistic sister, and a narcissistic boss, I am now not tolerating any more narcs. I have watched many, many utube videos on narcissism and I can tell you knowledge is POWER!
Omg I just realized this my parents always question me about what I do, like if they don’t trust my own decision making me grow up with self doubts, I don’t feel accepted bc since I’m not like my sisters I feel like they can’t accept me for who I am. And the same happened with my ex narc the gaslighting made me so insecure doubt myself… I have so much work to do now I see how the relationship with my parents affected me with my Romantic relationships, maybe it’s why I attract narcissists 😫😞
If your happiness depends on someone else...it's a blood in the water kind of thing, the neediness, manipulators will sniff you out immediately...after all they've been doing it for years.
This makes so much sense. I just said I'm like a puppy. I get weeks of silent treatment or rage but when he has a good day and is nice to me I come running bc I just want to feel the love I give and have a normal marriage
fantastically insightful- I am amazed at how I’ve experienced almost all of these, and although I knew at the time something was off, I had no idea these were tactics - evil, predatory and callous ones! Thank you Christina!
I had a so-called friend like this and he did all of those things. The word salad trick never worked on me because my language skills are better than his. This frustrated him to no end. Lol! Sadly, many of my bosses ticked all of the boxes and ruined my workplace; everyone was on tenterhooks. Interesting point about the mirroring in the womb. I never knew that. Cool!
My sister in law does this word salad, and I never understood why until now. Can you please tell me how you were able to frustrate him? I need to learn how to do this, so I can protect myself when she does it, thank you!
@@lisamarie5918 Hi Lisa! I just use basic grammar. I interrupt when the grammar is incorrect or the statement is unclear / just not right. I challenge the person on every statement. After two or three times, they give up because they know they've been defeated. Make her clarify every statement. Don't let her move on to something else until she makes herself clear. She's trying to "move the goal posts". This is a common tactic used by bullies. Don't let her move on; make her clarify every statement she makes. Point out every single grammatical and word choice error she make as soon as it happens. Most importantly, point out every error in her "logic" as soon as it happens. Be relentless and she will give up. I have the advantage of having earned an Honours degree in English, but anyone can point out small mistakes in speaking and trip up bullies. They hate that; it disrupts their rhythm of bullying. Pointing out their errors in logic is even worse; they hate being exposed as less smart than they are. I really hope this helps, Lisa. If you need more help, let me know. Oh, and make sure she stays on point in the argument. Stay focused on one point, defeat her and then move on to the next point if you want to continue talking to her. Cheers!
Excellent tutorial and a deep understanding how narcissism tactics are used to manipulate. I can relate with past experiences and now have a guideline on which red flags to look for. Thanks 😊
I'm going through this right now unfortunately with my sons dad he knows it's hard for me to leave bc our son is autistic and I stay home to take care of him what a heartless person i.m.o!!
Thanks for the video. It is always good to be straight forward and tell people like it is. I think both my husband and I have narcissistic tendencies. Luckily we don't let each other get away with it. God knew what he was doing when he got us together. 😀
Everything you are describing is exactly what my brother-in-law has done to my entire family from the first week she met him and still using every single one of these tactics 7yrs later. The funny thing is he wouldn't be aware while watching this this video of just how eerily accurate it is on describing his entire personality and character flaws. He is an awful human being and immature man who is stuck in his controlling and manipulative behavior causing the destruction of many people's lives.
Holy crap my life is intermittent reinforcement and has been for past 3-4 years Gross! Working on getting out so in survival mode right now but AT LEAST I recognize the almost invisible abuse
when i heard what the mirroring part was about, i went 'oh no' because my bio mom does this ALL the time, except when it's something she doesn't like and she tries to shame me out of it, so she can have complete control over my interests and integrate me fully into her life, glad that she discarded me somewhat because oh man now that i KNOW? i'm not letting her use that against me ever again
Your one of the few people that talk about intellectual bullying. Multiple debts where I work do this. Unfortunately I was in 3 of them. So incredibly sad and such a stressful place to work.
3:00 this just sounds like someone who's got someone on the side and you need to ditch her. They start acting nice again when something better isn't along.
You said something that clicked with me about a job I had once. I used to assist in heart surgery and I kept butting heads with a surgeon. He would pit surgical assistants against each other while operating and tried to intimidate me during surgery. I ended up sending him to HR and he was angry. I was pregnant and burnt out with covid coming so I used the opportunity to transfer to another dept. Dude is highly intelligent and in a position of power but he is deranged and an actual liability. He thrived on emotional chaos in the OR.
Trying to process all that arises in me as I watch this video... I've fallen in love with a man. I don't know what his feelings are for me? But he clearly doesn't love me: like I love him... And that leaves me full of shame. I'm 42 and have never been in a relationship... I have no friends. No career. No money. No love. No nothing. And I'm old now. I'm a complete utter total failure. And I die in the shame and grief and rage of it all...
Mom's advice was to be aware in life that people you like and love may not feel the same about you. You are not flawed. The other person has many reasons why they aren't emotionally available to you. Can you take 5 guesses as to what their issues might be? You sound depressed. Look online or in TH-cam for information on Depression. You are being very critical of yourself. Don't believe everything that you think. People with depression have a Not Fun House distorted mirror on life. Learning about depression and getting counseling can give you a better mirror view. You made it to old age. To have done that, you must have done a lot of things right to make it to this century.
You're too old! Life is too short to be unhappy,I learned this from a dying friend who was 29! I'm trapped right now but I will get out, just turned 55yrs old, no job, pile of debt cause he's now withholding money. But I refuse to give in. I'm learning to place the real blame where it should lie. I tried for years to figure it out, do better, give in, forgive, etc, it just made a bigger monster out of him! I was single at 40 and loved every minute of it, so sad that I gave that up to love in this life sucking hell! Regardless of how hard it will be, I will get out and I will thrive again, if for no other reason than to show him he didn't break me! Please hang in there and watch more info so you can learn more and find strength in community! It's helped me so much! I was so mindfucked before I started seeing answers and I'm so relieved to realize it isn't me! He uses my past relationship failures to belittle me. He literally states, "he's done nothing wrong, I make it all up" but I have recordings and screenshots of his hookup sites profiles, messages and our violent interactions. I started recording things cause I began to question my own sanity. I started to fight back and get overly emotional so now I'm crazy and "off the deep end, again" if I express any dislike of his behavior. It only gets worse, I sure hope you can get out and never look back! Don't let him totally destroy you, seek help to take care of yourself! There's no shame in being abused! That's in him! People who love you invest in your well being, they don't drag you down, they build you up! Wishing you true happiness and peace!
Lol. My narc that never made it to even boyfriend status just sent me gift out of nowhere after no contact since he TEXTED me out of nowhere on 'Valentines day' when I had even fell and had to go to the hospital between texts! No worries I am fully aware. Hilarious. 😆
Thank you. Watching these video's has helped me profile his threat. He tried to show huge interest in my Harley when he first moved next door. That was the first moment, I knew there was something far wrong with my neighbor. He is no biker. This guy is a dangerous one. And a over the top show off. He tried taking advantage of me and trespass while in a disabling health catastrophe. Now I'm not 9yrs later. I know he is afraid of me now. I had the building dept knock on his door last summer, and had other neighbors standing on my lawn, wanting to confront him and help me. Just to poke him a little. I am hunting narcissists. It's gone on so long, he gave away all his secrets and corrupt power to me! I warned him several times, I go to an abuse survivor center. The day I rain shame on him, the subpoena will be on its way. I want to leave a mark that will follow him the rest of his life. And I will. Count on it! Soon he will regret knocking on my door.
Where do narcissists learn this stuff ? I have met a few in my life and often they aren't academically achievers but they seem to have this understanding of how to manipulate people . The fact that these traits are pretty universal - does that mean that this is a genetic trait .
This is exactly what I’ve been going through!!!! No answers and ghosting so I’ve been stuck and anxious not knowing what has happened. I’ve never been so stuck in my life!! I think I’m getting it now. But the weird thing is I feel like he had some feelings behind trying to hide them. And yes I look crazy because I was getting all emotional trying to talk to him and he just wouldn’t really say much then the ghosting would start a day or so later. This truly is a mind fu** like no other!!! The thing is I was led to read, even buy a narcissist book to read and still thought he might change for the better. Buy hasn’t happen in years.
2 big things that's happend n my year of marriage to this narc. My daughter gave a baby up. My mom has a brain tumor. Literally the worst things in my life. My narc husband has never once asked me anything about either. No r u OK, r they ok, do u need anything, want a hug, whats going on. Nothing. Bc he could care less.
I lived with a friend for 7 years and the whole time she made it feel like she was the captain of the ship and if you said something, you were causing a ripple and rocking the boat. I questioned my sanity. Once I figured this out I got out. I left the whole situation and she made me out to be the bad guy, turning my friends against me then trying to turn my family against me. After running for my life she emailed me telling me how I used her and how much of a soulless person. Crazy how true everything you said makes me feel so much better getting out and cutting my ties. I was so tired of the mind games. Listen to your conscious, red flags are real.
So a friend's girlfriend dumped him. His mother decided to encourage him by inviting him away for the weekend to a country retreat. So slightly reluctantly he decided to go. Somehow she the x girlfriend heard on the grapevine that he was going out of town with his mum to enjoy a retreat. She then called him to abuse him for daring to go away when he should be instead sad at home and grieving.... go figure he dodged a bullet with that sad case of a human.
One of my exes was a narcissist. 100% this. Another thing he often did was projection: accusing and criticizing others of things he was actually the one at fault for. Which, if caught unaware, creates confusion and self-doubt. Also, if feeling insecure or tired, would verbally and emotionally bully a convenient scapegoat, making the scapegoat look bad in the eyes of others, while playing the victim. On the next day (or after causing an emotional reaction, breaking the other, and releasing his own stress) all was forgotten (or a carefully reality was rewritten in his brain, that benefited him), and no one could expect accountability for his words or actions. If the matter was brought again, he would get defensive and attack again with his confusing "recalled reality" and smart, manipulative words. And when feeling good, he would behave and talk in a crafted way to get approval and applause from others - especially the ones who didn't know him well, and hadn't been already badly burned (or asked for accountability).
OMG!! I'm SURROUNDED by them! More "crap" to overthink, everytime I'm around---anyone? Questioning "Am I one?" now. 🙄 NOT subscribing. But thnx for "the info."
Not everyone is a narcissist and videos like this certainly don’t help. Is this woman an actual psychologist? Or is she someone that’s making money throwing around the narcissist label too much. You would have to be pretty smart and very aware of yourself to know how to play all these games. I think it’s better if they just say toxic people instead. I’ve been studying personality disorders for about 4 years now.
Thank you, this is starting to make sense now. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who convinced me that it was me who was! The triangulation tactic.. she used her husband… whom she cheated on with me (emotionally) and left for me but would always tell Me how great he was.. she even told me she still loves him and still fancies him etc etc
I didn’t realize how trauma bond I was to him until we broke up. It was the worst addiction. Anyone could ever have couldn’t go to AA but I did go to counseling immediately
I used to have a friend who would make snide remarks at my expense in front of others. So what I finally did (with success) was say, "And? I'm not sure where you're going with this - was there a question in there somewhere"? My voice was calm. I looked into her cold, dead eyes, What this did was put the onus back onto her - she didn't expect it and started to stammer. I took the power back right then and there. Needless to say, she's out of my world for good - she doesn't deserve a seat at my table.
Wow!!! This is spot on my ex husband of 31 years and my parents!!! I never am good enough for my family! My brother is the golden child because he has money! I'm disabled from ex- husband so I'm useless in my parents eyes! I pray for my mom the evilness is real!
Your comment is too vague. I use the video function on my cell phone to record these people and catch them in their lies and games. They get so confused because their ego loves the attention, but is fearful in not being in control.
I could just check these off the list for a former "supervisor" who i came to understand likely had narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It was fully destructive in the department and she was eventually fired but not until it was brought to the attention of upper upper management, and much too late for recovery of the department (everyone but her golden child protoge, who was also a manipulator, left). Her manager thought she was something of a saint, but she created chaos whenever she could in the departmemt using all these (and more) tactics. She also used them to bully the heads of other departments, even for negative attention she received. Feb 2022 edit. I couldn't think of an example of mirroring that she did then but now I have. I didn't recognize the tactic at the time, but after 2 years of being jerked around by her (at that time), I wasn't about to fall for it. It was a hobby she know I had. She became interested in after no previous interest. She'd asked my advice and wanted me to come to her house, or have me invite her to mine (which wasn't going to happen). I gave my advice but wouldn't connect with her otherwise on that hobby. Soon thereafter, she made it clear to others in the office that she was no longer interested in the hobby.
Connecting to one’s intuition is such a trek omg BUT ITS DOABLE and it’s such a vast oceanic intelligence too! The order of things to do is: 1- silence the narc voices and introjects by asking “WHOSE VOICE IS THIS?” when negative self talk starts. Your own voice (intuition) will ALWAYS be on your side so any voice not on your side is an internalized voice of an abuser. So you ask WHOSE VOICE IS THIS and the representation of the voice can come forth in your imagination and you can see idk a snake with your mom’s head so then you smashhhh it and rip apart or whatever, and every time a negative self talk comes out you repeat the process and LO AND BEHOLD it STFU 2- create stillness, stop the running, concentrate on your breathing, do things mindfully, and you’ll hear that quiet little voice of your intuition offer you insights! Write them down, ponder them, act on them! 3- the more your intuition sees you being receptive, the more it will send messages 4- build your relationship to self, love your nervous system and it will love you back Health is Wholeness and Integrity Lol if anyone wants to know more just give a shout! And Common Ego miss, you are a great teacher!!!! Subscribed
As a golden rule, narcissism usually stems from insecurity and selfishness. I have learned from years of dating that whenever a partner is laying down rules that they themselves do not follow, it's time to say goodbye. Also if they nit pick about your appearance or any other of your routines in your life, that's a big red flag. If someone is trying to change who you are or mold you into what they want you to be, it's time to get out of that relationship. We all need to know our value and be able to see our worth. Nobody deserves to be abused by a narcissistic individual.
My ex had a hairy and I mean bear hairy chest and I found it masculine and attractive! One time I asked him if he ever thought of shaving it and he said that was q shit I don’t wanna have my comment removed so I’m using q hope you aren’t offended I didn’t say it! Well he had an affair after faking a fallout sending me to prison as a result and lost our son well he did nothing to get him back the whole time I was gone but rather played house with an ex friend of mine and a chic I’d never met! He shaved his chest for her and has been doing so ever since! But I thought it was qu stuff? I’m forever confused he is never the same never consistent and forever accusing me of this or that and finding fault with my choices of natural medicines instead of western pharmaceuticals all of a sudden.. and having a drink is bad and our relationship has ended after divorcing and beginning again he has taken in this bs now as abusive behavior before it was physical and emotional and mental! Just emotional and mental now and running when he wants to be physically abusive! Hey that’s progress but is it truth? I never know! I’m so damaged I hate me and my life and I just want to die! I’m confused and he breadcrumbs and baits me until explosive rage! It’s not a new thing it’s a 26 year long tortuous treacherous hell I’ve been living in and still I long for him and try and explain and continually apologize for stuff I don’t need to apologize for it’s so damn ridiculous and I want the cycles to stop so badly but I’m so trauma bonded!
@@nikkijohnson-russell2742 that word doesn't offend me personally. I grew up in a time when people weren't offended over words. And to be honest, I have tons of body hair from head to toe. It's super soft and keeps me warm in the winter lol. Everyone is different and has different likes and dislikes. I've found that some women are turned off by the body hair and some women absolutely love it. What is most important is how we feel about ourselves because a really low self esteem can make us vulnerable to abusive individuals. Your ex sounds like he has personal problems and insecurities that directly affect his behavior. None of his cheating, mind games or abuse are your fault.
Selfishness is a understatement, Monstrously selfish is more accurate , these people truly don't care for anyone but themselves, if others can see what they they truly are , no one would want to be in the same room as them , but these narcissist are deceptive and can fake empathy and being good to trick others . They are sick people, everything they speak ,imagine them in a stray jacket , because that's exactly what you are dealing with. Another thing I noticed over the years is they tend to be boring , that's what happens when all your effort and mind is in to looking cool or superior or just for your ego , you don't really dive into other subjects, its all just things relevant to their ego .They care ALOT how they are view by the public, very fragile and serious on how they are viewed by the majority, way way more than a normal person . The best thing and only thing really you can do is to get away from them and go no contact , never speak to them again or interact with them . Detect early , the earlier the better , get away as soon as possible and stay away , never return no matter what , go no contact and Grey rock in the mean time if you can't get away immediately. They will go back and forth with you until you ir they kill eachother or when you get away after a long time , its gonna just be painful memories. Pray for them from afar .
Sorry but you are a bit nutty I left a narc for far less then that and something is wrong if you are locked up and not him.
@@jonathanwilberger3190😊😊
I lived with many narcissists for many years of my life. What I experienced was MUCH worse than anything you describe. They were cruel, manipulative, violent abusers with no capacity for empathy or sympathy for anyone else. Their only concern EVER was for and about themselves. I didn’t understand what was happening until I researched for myself what was going on. Then I walked away with no regrets. To everyone who might read this: if you discover you are being damaged by a narcissist, RUN! JUST RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK!
I believe you, I left home when I was 16 and I never went back 👍
They f absolutely in sane where the smart drs dam dam closed our mental f hospital s now what fools
I've been lucky not to be stuck with narcissists in my life. As soon as I suspect someone is manipulating me, if I feel worse after being around them instead of better or the same, that's a huge red flag and it's time to cut them out of my life. I do have an advantage, though, in that I'm content to be alone. For those who really need to feel a connection with others, I can see how hard it might be to walk away.
Same here...I love people, but also love to be alone. And, it must be a miracle, or maybe just that the narcissists I have come in contact with, sensed that I would not be an 'easy' victim and rather looked elsewhere.
Listen to your gut. It never lies. When you get a bad feeling about someone, run away and don't look back. I too love being alone, or in the company of animals. That is when I feel happiest.
People who can have control of if you feel good or worse around really stems from you having a very weak mind.. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.. We're not living on a spinning ball globe earth. Being hurdled throughout space at 66,000 mph. While spinning at 1000+mph
I learned not to let my entire life be controlled off completely ""Feelings""..I watch what people ""Do"" in actions more than anything..I control my feelings not others, has become a major key in controlling my life.
Well hold on now, it all depends on what they are manipulating.
1. Intermittent reinforcement... positive feedback followed up by negitive feedback.
2. Baiting... they say and do things to get emotional reactions out of you, to make you look bad.
3. Intellectual bullying... gives you a whole lot of info to you to confuse you and overwhelm you.
4. Bedcrumbing... gives you just enough to keep you hooked and comming back to them.
5. Triangulation They pit people against each other to favor them.
6. Exaggeration.... gaslighting calling you a liar, and pointing out all your flaws to make themselveslook more important and better than others, for one reason or another.
7. Mirroring .... they fake your movements and personal intrests to use it against you.
Thx for writing down the list! Appreciate it 🙂
Awesome!
Wow, I wish I knew this sooner. I could have avoided some bad situations knowing these
How can one be so aggressive with the BS, but so weak and sensitive when you mirror their behavior?
@Mary Carroll
The X would usually trip over his lip with friends/family or whom he saw as an audience. He would silently compete for attention, those vulnerable coverts are silent but deadly !
The Narcissist' mind games is a thinking game like playing Chess, When my Husband tries to play Mind Games with me, he usually loses, because what he says and does is so repetitive, and he is so predictable, I usually know what his next move is going to be. CHECKMATE!
At age 24, I was manipulated and fooled big time. I am 65, healed, and finally I now love myself enough to stay away from the cruel people in my in-laws and anywhere I go.
Wow 😮took sum years
So happy for you! I'm still suffering in this marriage but I will thrive again. At 55yrs old, what a living hell 8 years in and no sign of being able to leave anytime soon, but I will get free! Take care of you!
Dumped her. Sucks. But I just can’t deal with this for the rest of my life.
@Mary Carroll Thank you, sending you ❤️.
I'm finished with relationships for good. I'll never expose myself to a woman again. Seems like I attract only narcissistic females.
@@sippndipp I don’t blame you. Sometimes I think social media has ruined society.
@@sippndipp Dude, you are literally a SANDWICH and they want to eat you up! Selfish eaters....
They love to rush you into relationship as well and they try and act like they did nothing wrong but act like you crazy
I let my family narcs mistreat me much more than I would have any one else. My late mother had somehow given me the message that I should hold everyone together after she passed. It's been 5 years since I declared that wasn't happening anymore! It's been great! Less aggravation, more time for me and more money in my bank account!!!
Good for you. Seriously. Best thing for your health in these cases is to let go of these toxic people.
As soon as you realize, cut them off immediately. Silence is your best weapon, block the number. They point out your flaws, they know your insecurities . They will never change. They are incapable of loving you. You are on point.
Yes, sadly I've observed all these gimmicks and traits of a narcissist. I also had one encounter with a sociopath, which is like a narc x100. Luckily I'm quite intuitive on a spiritual level, I can basically sense when a person isn't being genuine...it's not their words it's their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, fake laugh, just really a deeper level of communication with them. Look at their ACTUAL intentions and their ACTUAL actions, not their words. Anyone can say anything.
Fake laugh, like the political actors.
It s called spiritual discernment. Look that up.
My x DIL. IT Was like wow.
Kindred spirit
I wish I had that, would save me alot of strife
My ex has done all of these things. He recently hoovered which didn’t work I might add, but I noticed he was mirroring what I was saying, I found it interesting to observe what he was doing, he also went for my sympathy and when I had enough and backed off, he went straight into love bombing. It was such bizarre behaviour.
Thanks to videos like yours I was able to be aware of all these things. I think it’s sad really that narcissists are like this and will not even try and get help, they are just doomed to be miserable.
Mine was diagnosed with acute melancholia at age 14...but it was a manipulation; he was the eldest, his brother was 4 years younger then his mum had a daughter which is when it started.
@@someguy9519 it’s interesting that is what changed your ex. I talked through things with mine and mentioned his childhood he didn’t like that and told me not to go there. I always knew something had happened in his childhood to make him like this.
Me too 😂 and it was a movie I never ordered
Same here. My ex did (or at least tried) every single one of these things. I was vulnerable to some, but not others. Intellectual bullying doesn't work on me because I have been surrounded by lawyers , politicians and manipulative people my whole life. I have have enough practice disentangling their word webs to avoid being overwhelmed.
Baiting worked for a while. If I lost control of my emotions and raised my voice, he'd laugh and say "Look at you getting so upset." And "I didn't say that." about things he just said. I started screenshotting some of his BS and sending it to others to confirm I wasn't imagining things. That made his triangulation worse. He wanted to discredit the people who got in the way of his psychological power over me. He tried to make me distrust everyone but him, saying he was the only one who was honest with me. Meanwhile, he was anything but honest. He had so many lies, he couldn't keep track of it all.
You are not crazy. Sorry you had to deal with a person like that. I'm glad that I finally separated from the one who was doing these things to me.
@@someguy9519 Acute melancholia?
I need to research this..Thanks...
I was involved with a narcissist for almost 2 years. I feel like he studied my post on Facebook and decided that the post read an empathetic woman. Not to mention I’m in my 40’s and he was 7 years younger than me. He needed a mature woman due to him not having a positive mother figure growing up, he was in the foster system. Around after 3 months things went from adventurous to toxic, what I called the end of a baiting tactic. He seen that I was in love with him and then the red flags came. They were waving in the wind and I paid them no mind. The disrespect start coming and then an apology was not too far behind, the bread crumbing became present. I can go on but when we broke up, it was so much roller coasting it would make me sick! I’m so glad that I’m out of that situation, it can cause anxiety because you don’t know which person you’re going to get!
Yes, I can relate to some of this. I have an older sister who is a Malignant Narcissist. She loved being an only child & didn’t want a sibling. Mind games, gaslighting i.e. doing things & then trying to convince me or others that I did it. Physical abuse- picking fights with me, slapping me or hitting, etc. used emotional black mail against my Mom, “ You either always stick up for me or I’ll take my car & leave & you will never see me again “. She got on Facebook and now has all of my grammar school class mates on HER page. Since my Mom died at 90 back in 2014, I have not talked to her. She’s 3 years older than I am & I will turn 59 this year. I wish that when parents see this in their family, they would just get the Narcissist to a shrink & at least try to sort this all out early. Because the Narcissists are so destructive & it can last a lifetime.
I am very keen on picking up when someone is trying to manipulate me. I can't guarantee I am immune, but I do notice when someone is trying to fluff my skirt.
1. 1:04 INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT:
You get positive feedback (love, approval)and negative feedback (anger, jealousy, rage) - intermittently..the reward is inconsistent and gets you hooked.
(The addiction doesn't happen if the reward is there or isn't there, but consistently)
Every narcissist will use it, consciously or not. It's used for the purpose of control.
A clue could be: hot-and-cold behaviour (mixed messages).
Acting cold for no reason or ghosting after a few months.
(Jackyl and Hide, push-pull)
2. 3:31 BAITING:
If they know they can say sth that will trigger you, they will say it, to their advantage. (1.It will make them feel powerful and in control 2.it will make you look like you're the problem, in front of an audience)
3. 4:36 INTELLECTUAL BULLYING:
They will throw a lot of information at you, to throw you off your game. The info can be about a topic, or just word salad. (It implies you're inferior).
This way they prevent you from reaching your goal of clarifying things with them. (Sales people also do that).
It gives them upper hand in communication and in the negotiation. (Let the seller know it's getting a bit too convoluted and you're stepping out)
4. 6:42 BREADCRUMBING:
Either early on or later: between a discard and a hoover. They like to know that you're on the hook
They're giving you just enough communication, just enough positive reaffirmation, to keep you interested and wondering if they will come back. (To keep you thinking about them) we tend to think that things we have to work harder for are more valuable.
5. 7:20 TRIANGULATION:
Pinning people against each other.
They will do it in all sorts of relationships (boss-employee, parent-child, partners). It will make you work harder for their approval.
6. 8:48 EXAGGERATION (and GASLIGHTING):
They retail the events inaccurately, blowing it out of proportion. This makes you doubt yourself and how you behave, instead of think of what you wanted to do
You will be more prone to take on their reality.
7. 10:24 MIRRORING (LIMBIC SYNCHRONY)
Similar posture, body language, tone of voice, volume etc.
It can be faked with the goal of creating connection.
=============
Use your intuition, be observant and look for red flags.
Thank you very much! Well summed up!
@@june.w.1288 you're welcome! 👍
Better than them
I've summed them all up ,as soon as I come into contact with them ,what such VILE INDIVIDUALS ,KEEP AWAY FROM ME 😡😡🤬🤬🤬 YOU ARE SCUM ,PLAYING BIG BREADCRUMBS , VINDICTIVE NARCISSISTIC SOCIAPATHS THAT JUST CAN'T RESIST DOING IT .
Some of these are what criminal lawyers do in a courtroom, what salespeople do to convince, what bosses do to make a team deliver outcomes... how else to distinguish?
So I know I'm with this type of person. I've gone back so many times, it's so draining. Nothing has changed at all. Thank you for these videos
The best defense is disinterest and detachment. They will find a way to leave you when they can't trigger you anymore.
Maybe part of you needs this or feeds this behavior.
Just be aware and don't fall for the bait.
Meaning like in Football, the other team will taunt and maybe even make a shove here or there.
It is the one that shoves back that gets blamed and gets the Flag and penalty.
Keep healthy boundaries!
Your not alone..me too xx
@@superchuck3259 agreed I see myself feeding into it plus having a child with her makes it that much more difficult
@@Truestorycory When in doubt, bail out early. No living together, no kids together, no engagement etc. If you see signs she is not the one, don't even get laid, just get out.
It very well could be a trap.
Remember when it comes to emotional game, you won't come out on top, you simply lack the practice!
This video was so difficult to watch, I was stuck in an abusive relationship with a narcissist for 5 years, I never knew what a narcissist was, what all these things were called. I sit and have a thousand examples to every point you make and that’s why I found this so difficult to watch, I get frustrated and feel angry at the mind games and the confusion of being at the receiving end of his mind games.
it’s so important though, I’ll be on the lookout for these signs for the rest of my life.
Thank you! I wish I’d found your page sooner x
My experience exactly. Wish you all the best🤗
It’s so sad how common these situations are. I’m trying to maintain the strength to not fall into bad habits. How did you get out, if you don’t mind me asking?
I was.in the same.mess for over5 years but not anymore what a mess especially when he would lie and cheat. And get caught up on and try putting it on me wow.what.a mine game no one needs to put their life through. Such..game I found myself.and Iet it go thank God I am blessed
Was in the same position in a relationship, but for over 10 yrs. Didn't know what it was called but after getting out of that situation a few years later found myself in a situation inwhich my supervisor's behavior was eerily similar and equally abusive. I started searching for ways to deal with difficult people at work and stumbled on videos on youtube, and was educated! Now I know what it's called and am very careful about getting entNgled in any situation in which I have to endure these tactics. I am quick to recognize these things and try to educated others and to encourage others to learn how to protect themselves.
My life for past 6 1/2 years too 😞🤮time to go
Thank you.... my eyes are truly opened to my husband. I figured there was a lot of manipulation by him, and now, after 42 yrs..... he definitely IS a narcissist.
Sincere congratulations on your new awareness, I've been in a similar boat for a long time. Thank God for the amazing YT ppl & videos!
@@janetpattison8474 Here here good luck to you
I hope you can get the hell away from him!
42 years. With me too. Dont know which way to turn.
I’ve had 2 long term “best friends” who did all of these things. It took me way too long to see it and to walk away. One of them stalked me on Facebook for well over 6 years. Thanks for articulating and validating what I experienced.
Ive had a couple of close friends over the years who were toxic also. I now try to understand myself better and why I attract these people. Its pretty eye opening learning about Narcissism like watching rhis video.
I've learned so much since I learned about Narcissists and what was going on with those relationships, but the most powerful lesson I've learned is to trust myself and discern others.Not be judgemental but listen to my intuition. Those feelings you get when someone is lying to you for example. You can't prove their lying to you so you give them the benefit of the doubt and it turns out badly for you, if you woruld have trusted your instinct you could have saved yourself alot of heart ache. Anyone have those hindsights? Trust yourself and don't ever abandon yourself for another person. You matter! How you feel matters , it ends up being all about them and keeping them happy and it never works they end up sucking the life out of you and hurting your health and well being. They try to disrupt and put out that beautiful Light 🔆 that was shinning when they met you. They jealous of your Light because they can't connect to their own light and its sad but there is nothing you can do save them. They are great teachers though they teach us how to learn to Love ourselves . They teach us to grow.... I hope everyone finds their way out of these relationships and finds themselves again...Aloha
Aloha! Thank you!
Firstly, I think narcissists usually are either handsome or beautiful or otherwise desirable to people and they learned early in life how to manipulate people who were loving on them to get what they want.
NOPE NOT TOTALLY HANDSOME....IT COULD BE YOU LIKE EDUCATED PPL. ANY LITTLE THING LIKE THAT
Maybe you both missed that I said “or otherwise desirable to people “. I don’t mind you adding your opinions but don’t flat out say I’m wrong when you’re so obviously unobservant.
Not always . The narcissist I met wasn't attractive by anyone's standards and he himself wondered how anyone would want to be with him. But he did all the cruel behaviours in the video in addition to breadcrumbing and mind games and ghosting and gaslighting.
The exaggeration example was stunningly relatable to me. I was once dragged into a conversation defending myself for two hours, simply trying to kindly explain why I would not be up for my girlfriend’s suggestion to go to a certain place over a weekend at a certain point. I then afterwards initiated a conversation with her, explaining how I see a problem in the way we relate to each other based on difficulties in resolving differences in opinions/preferences about what activities to do together. In turn, she had a meltdown, accusing me of plotting to ditch her and also evading my points by not replying to my request of what is going on that I have to spend an entire afternoon getting my “no” across, but instead saying things along the lines of “it is incredibly difficult for me to discuss this with you when you throw mud on our entire relationship like that and I wonder if you are done with us”. So all of a sudden, I was being put into a situation where I had to argue and explain myself that I did not try to abandon her at all, but that I just see a problem with feeling pressured and aggressively persuaded into compliance, and this became the main struggle of the conversation, ending in a rage attack and a one week long silent treatment as well as the cancellation of our entire vacations ahead on her initiative (it was a temporary long-distance situation). So, effectively, because I disagreed about a single specific request for a trip to a certain town, the entire relationship took a heavy blow. This is just a very general summary. But the basic issue was that apparently it was not part of her script that her partner was allowed to reject a plan she had envisioned and that when I recognized that, trying to go past the confusion and ask what is going on, she got highly uncomfortable and exaggerating my legitimate request for resolution so that she would never have to take accountability for her own conduct and throwing the ball right back to me. And when I refused to take the bait and insisted on resolution of my request, sanctions would follow in form of overt acts of aggression such as fits of rage and punishment via silence or cancelling vacations.
Welcome to the club. I've spent 5 years explaining to her that I can't be out in the heat because I get anxious. "Be a man!" or "You're pathetic!" will get thrown at me. Or worse. We live in Spain. It gets hot. I don't want to be outside. "No" is the word she can't take. So I am leaving. 8 years of bullying. Plain and simple.
Omg! Spot on and so upsetting to be the target of their narcissistic bullying part! The target looks like the crazy, over-sensitive or petty one🤯🤬
@@oscarwilliamson1128 thank you!
Thank you for the information. I have been played before by a narcissist so im very careful now. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This is why I am so glad for narc abuse channels; I don’t think I would have made it through probation without the validation of these videos to remind me what I’m dealing with, and how to take it less personally. They are actually trying to wreck your life for the sake of your being their toy. They don’t care how long or how hard you work. They don’t care if you arrive early or leave late. They don’t care about a professional appearance. They just need a tasty snack on your soul to give them the sugar rush that keeps them going.
How can you take it personally when it’s all about them? Projection.
I waited for him to drink himself to blackout mode and then had him confess the abuse he put me through and got him to give his opinion on his boss and coworkers.
He was aware the camera was on and even put on a show. He had to leave the state after that and there's peace in my life now. I use these videos as educational tools as I am now speaking up about this invisible abuse. Thank you 💞
Thank you and you look lovely your skin is glowing. Sadly I was with a narcissist for a few months and he actually likes to play mind games. I am an empath sadly I didn't see until I was discarded.
Laura J Leon . God saved you
What about the narcissist neighbor
Only a few months? You dodged a bullet. They usually still studying you. Your blessed.
Sadly, both my parents were narcissists and so as an adult I unconsciously accept narcissistic behavior in love interests as "normal".
Thank you for sharing about intermittent reinforcement. I have no one in my life who is toxic anymore, thanks to all the videos I’ve watched.
I'm sad I didn't see this 9 years ago. Stayed with a narcissist for far too long. I feel so much better knowing this. He uses all of these 😭. I appreciate this for my future relationships!
Thanks! This is excellent info! . And omg. The info about intellectual bullying is so amazingly RIGHT-ON! It’s directed at me ALL the TIME!
Narcs also love ghosting to let u know know you’re disposable. If u defend yourself Against the narcs anger, u are an evil one, & the narc is a victim. We’re supposed to ignore the narc’s bad behavior forever, as if they were born w/ this disability. It’s more and more obvious that no contact is the only way to deal with narcs. As unconscious as they are, they are experts at finding one method of attack after another.
The The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde pattern of behavior is never ending.
If you gotta work hard to be with someone then just move on...don’t fall into the manipulation... it’s not worth it. Your better off alone. Human beings are exasperating!
I don't agree that people are always better off alone. My grandmother had skin as thick as steel and was a master handler. She was very happy with my grandfather who was a manipulator. But she knew, like a clever fox, how to steer that energy and they were super successful and happy together. So, I think it is more a matter of finding the person you are happy with and that you know how to deal with and whatever their flaws are, that those flaws are easy for you to deal with or they don't bother you. Anyway, sure there are plenty of relationships that are better off broken, but I'm not ready to condemn everyone to a life of solitude. You just got to find what you are compatible with and probably not have unrealistic expectation of the 'perfect' partner and 'perfect' relationship. My grandmother just let my grandfather be who he was when it was needed and it rolled off her like water off a duck's feathers. But she was the master of the credit cards and the house and she always had his back. He thought he was the master of the family, but he certainly was the master of his field and as the core of a business. She was an absolutely awesome front person for the business. A very good formula for business success with decades of happy customers. The end result was a super successful marriage, and 15 properties acquired and trips and vacations around the world and kids in private schools, some of whom went on to be even wealthier. So, maybe learn to deal with people instead of avoiding them; most people can be put to good use and be very happy.
Rinse repeat. Lies. No idea how hurtful it is. Karma
Mirroring is the most disturbing one. These people are demons living in human shells. Scary stuff
A nice, succinct overview of the narcissists' playbook. Thanks, Christina.
Telling them they are being mean and cruel, still goes completely unacknowledged.They dont care..
Yeah they just ignore you. I told one that I was ill and didn't want to die without finding peace with him and asked him to ask for forgiveness so I could forgive him (after having walked away from him for his sadism) and he just ignored me. Hopefully everyone finds out about him and his reputation gets destroyed as that's all he cares about (he's a writer online).
I get it now!!! I married my narc because 20 years ago these videos didn't exist!!! I need a video on HOW TO GET OUT ALIVE please!!! 🙏🙏🙏
I felt overwhelmed by information back in college often times. The teachers would just ramble on then I’d have to make sense of it later. What bothered me was how unnecessarily complex they made things appear. The good teachers inbetween never did this. It makes me wonder what we really learn in school, or rather, what we become as a result
College has proven to be excessive amount of this. “For profit” bullshit that had little value in the real world.
My parents are superb at intermittent reinforcement. It feels in the end like your living in a jar with your head bouncing off the sides not being able to see what's right or wrong, how you actually feel or how to get out. It's insidious and confusing and crazy making whrn you grow up this way as the rules are always changing thgoal posts never stay in place and my personal view is they do it to ensure the narrative they want. We are just pawns in the games being moved around but we don't know it. There is no pattern, there is no logic. The rule of thumb is they're protecting themselves and their egos in THAT MOMENT hence it's how they're feeling and nothing to do with anybody else. They don't care how you feel
"I'm so sorry for your loss"
Words that make me laugh, cause like what you explained, they really don't care.
@@superchuck3259 hi just seen your reply today. Thank you so very much. I'm going through the worst ever time in my life and still they're the same. It's how my foggy glasses came of! That's how I realised the facade and at 56 how I've wasted my life following their rules and regs and hoop jumping. It's the worst time I could have realised but had it not been for what I'm going through I still wouldn't have known. Google is my friend lol! Found many helpful channels thank goodness. I'm very ill so I cannot escape but it's how it showed up. I didn't know before what I didn't know. Thank you again for your kind reply, stay safe and take care of you ✌✋👋
Sure feels like my fault when I fall for it over & over & over & over again ... ALL MY LIFE
Exactly, just keep listening to all the great people on TH-cam and you'll feel better and better and better. This gal here, and dr. Ramani and doctor Carter and more. This talk is awesome!
@@janetpattison8474 they're great I listen those as well dr. C. Is so kind, found myself wishing he had been my parent! Patrick Teahan is excellent as well
@@janetpattison8474 Thanks so much for the encouragement!
Does my heart good to hear kindness again😊
@@bereal6590 Same msg I sent Janet: Thanks so much for the encouragement!
Does my heart good to hear kindness again😊
LOL! 😆 this is spot on…the sad part is narcissists break hearts.
Why you can't see reality here need to reference I given there ?
@@asifmuniruniverse7732 I appreciate your attempt at replying to my comment but I do not understand what you are trying to say.
Brilliant video. Thanks for warning us in general. I have only recently encountered a narcissist and it is a horrendous, scary experience. I wish I had seen this beforehand.
His mind games mixed messages has broken me down still together
I’ve experienced decades of being bated into a negative response, mostly so they can claim the victim role. I put an end to this for good! Gone no contact!
Amen!
Unfortunately, my temper got the best of me, and I would fight back and become worse. I was so sick and tired of defending myself giving this man everything only to be criticized and dehumanized daily.
OMG !!! Me too !! I would lash out at her and regret it later it. She would use it against me and I couldn't deny her complaint. Even tho I was baited in the moment, I still carry guilt for it. Next time I'll have more class, and walk away. One moment comes to mind when we went to a concert and she kept telling me I was embarrassing her over and over...I was simply bobbing my head to the music. I said some nasty words, walked out and drove myself home.
Little did I know she turned down another date for that show and she was stuck with me, so she ridiculed me for it most the night. So hurtful.
There is beauty and peace in living alone you
Word od Advice: Be leary of anyone in your life, thats preoccupied with an high adrenaline to see you broken and unhappy. That person is an arch enemy. Be ware!
The video went to my save list. It was awesome. In the shortest video possible a lot of information was delivered to the audience. Thank you very much.
Thank you. It is helping me to understand so much about why certain things happened to me.
NPD is demonic influence. It's a spiritual attack , hiding behind the term narcissism. Generational curse...they are channel's for evil spirits to attack you , and distract you , and knock you off the path God has for you. Look up the jezebel spirit , and Delilah spirit , and leviathan.
My dad 😞 💯 BUT my dad got this way FROM being abused himself by his father!
it’s a vicious cycle that seems to never end. It’s exhausting. 🥺 I am crying even typing this… ☹️
After growing up with a narcissist parent, a narcissistic sister, and a narcissistic boss, I am now not tolerating any more narcs. I have watched many, many utube videos on narcissism and I can tell you knowledge is POWER!
great video, those mind game abusers are going down in part thanks to articulate transparency of content like this
Omg I just realized this my parents always question me about what I do, like if they don’t trust my own decision making me grow up with self doubts, I don’t feel accepted bc since I’m not like my sisters I feel like they can’t accept me for who I am. And the same happened with my ex narc the gaslighting made me so insecure doubt myself… I have so much work to do now I see how the relationship with my parents affected me with my Romantic relationships, maybe it’s why I attract narcissists 😫😞
If your happiness depends on someone else...it's a blood in the water kind of thing, the neediness, manipulators will sniff you out immediately...after all they've been doing it for years.
I'm a crap magnet...3 in a row. I'm old now and haven't wanted a relationship for 20 years. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life.
0
Same here, it's not YOU
This was the first explanation in a very long time (many years) when I finally understood what exactly mirroring is. Well done! Thank you :)
This is definitely one of your best videos to-date.
This makes so much sense. I just said I'm like a puppy. I get weeks of silent treatment or rage but when he has a good day and is nice to me I come running bc I just want to feel the love I give and have a normal marriage
Unfortunately, watching these videos, I realize that the current economic system is built for narcissist success.
Truth, thats why the world is a mess
fantastically insightful- I am amazed at how I’ve experienced almost all of these, and although I knew at the time something was off, I had no idea these were tactics - evil, predatory and callous ones! Thank you Christina!
I had a so-called friend like this and he did all of those things. The word salad trick never worked on me because my language skills are better than his. This frustrated him to no end. Lol! Sadly, many of my bosses ticked all of the boxes and ruined my workplace; everyone was on tenterhooks. Interesting point about the mirroring in the womb. I never knew that. Cool!
My sister in law does this word salad, and I never understood why until now. Can you please tell me how you were able to frustrate him? I need to learn how to do this, so I can protect myself when she does it, thank you!
@@lisamarie5918 Hi Lisa! I just use basic grammar. I interrupt when the grammar is incorrect or the statement is unclear / just not right. I challenge the person on every statement. After two or three times, they give up because they know they've been defeated. Make her clarify every statement. Don't let her move on to something else until she makes herself clear. She's trying to "move the goal posts". This is a common tactic used by bullies. Don't let her move on; make her clarify every statement she makes. Point out every single grammatical and word choice error she make as soon as it happens. Most importantly, point out every error in her "logic" as soon as it happens. Be relentless and she will give up. I have the advantage of having earned an Honours degree in English, but anyone can point out small mistakes in speaking and trip up bullies. They hate that; it disrupts their rhythm of bullying. Pointing out their errors in logic is even worse; they hate being exposed as less smart than they are. I really hope this helps, Lisa. If you need more help, let me know. Oh, and make sure she stays on point in the argument. Stay focused on one point, defeat her and then move on to the next point if you want to continue talking to her. Cheers!
Excellent tutorial and a deep understanding how narcissism tactics are used to manipulate. I can relate with past experiences and now have a guideline on which red flags to look for. Thanks 😊
I'm going through this right now unfortunately with my sons dad he knows it's hard for me to leave bc our son is autistic and I stay home to take care of him what a heartless person i.m.o!!
Thanks for the video. It is always good to be straight forward and tell people like it is. I think both my husband and I have narcissistic tendencies. Luckily we don't let each other get away with it. God knew what he was doing when he got us together. 😀
It was such a damaging experience for me it still creeps up at time and I have to talk myself off the ledge..lol
Everything you are describing is exactly what my brother-in-law has done to my entire family from the first week she met him and still using every single one of these tactics 7yrs later. The funny thing is he wouldn't be aware while watching this this video of just how eerily accurate it is on describing his entire personality and character flaws. He is an awful human being and immature man who is stuck in his controlling and manipulative behavior causing the destruction of many people's lives.
Holy crap my life is intermittent reinforcement and has been for past 3-4 years Gross! Working on getting out so in survival mode right now but AT LEAST I recognize the almost invisible abuse
Gray rock it if you can!
when i heard what the mirroring part was about, i went 'oh no' because my bio mom does this ALL the time, except when it's something she doesn't like and she tries to shame me out of it, so she can have complete control over my interests and integrate me fully into her life, glad that she discarded me somewhat because oh man now that i KNOW? i'm not letting her use that against me ever again
Possibly the best most concisive video on the subject ive yet seen,and ive seen a huge number.Excellent presentation!
Love your hairstyle and makeup today!
Thank you 🙂 ❤
Your one of the few people that talk about intellectual bullying. Multiple debts where I work do this. Unfortunately I was in 3 of them. So incredibly sad and such a stressful place to work.
3:00 this just sounds like someone who's got someone on the side and you need to ditch her. They start acting nice again when something better isn't along.
You said something that clicked with me about a job I had once. I used to assist in heart surgery and I kept butting heads with a surgeon. He would pit surgical assistants against each other while operating and tried to intimidate me during surgery. I ended up sending him to HR and he was angry. I was pregnant and burnt out with covid coming so I used the opportunity to transfer to another dept. Dude is highly intelligent and in a position of power but he is deranged and an actual liability. He thrived on emotional chaos in the OR.
You have to be somewhat twisted to be a surgeon to begin with 🙄 They're calloused.
Trying to process all that arises in me
as I watch this video...
I've fallen in love with a man.
I don't know what his feelings are for me?
But he clearly doesn't love me:
like I love him...
And that leaves me full of shame.
I'm 42 and have never been in a relationship...
I have no friends.
No career.
No money.
No love.
No nothing.
And I'm old now.
I'm a complete utter total failure.
And I die in the shame and grief and rage of it all...
Mom's advice was to be aware in life that people you like and love may not feel the same about you. You are not flawed. The other person has many reasons why they aren't emotionally available to you. Can you take 5 guesses as to what their issues might be?
You sound depressed. Look online or in TH-cam for information on Depression. You are being very critical of yourself. Don't believe everything that you think. People with depression have a Not Fun House distorted mirror on life. Learning about depression and getting counseling can give you a better mirror view.
You made it to old age. To have done that, you must have done a lot of things right to make it to this century.
You're too old! Life is too short to be unhappy,I learned this from a dying friend who was 29! I'm trapped right now but I will get out, just turned 55yrs old, no job, pile of debt cause he's now withholding money. But I refuse to give in. I'm learning to place the real blame where it should lie. I tried for years to figure it out, do better, give in, forgive, etc, it just made a bigger monster out of him! I was single at 40 and loved every minute of it, so sad that I gave that up to love in this life sucking hell! Regardless of how hard it will be, I will get out and I will thrive again, if for no other reason than to show him he didn't break me! Please hang in there and watch more info so you can learn more and find strength in community! It's helped me so much! I was so mindfucked before I started seeing answers and I'm so relieved to realize it isn't me! He uses my past relationship failures to belittle me. He literally states, "he's done nothing wrong, I make it all up" but I have recordings and screenshots of his hookup sites profiles, messages and our violent interactions. I started recording things cause I began to question my own sanity. I started to fight back and get overly emotional so now I'm crazy and "off the deep end, again" if I express any dislike of his behavior. It only gets worse, I sure hope you can get out and never look back! Don't let him totally destroy you, seek help to take care of yourself! There's no shame in being abused! That's in him! People who love you invest in your well being, they don't drag you down, they build you up! Wishing you true happiness and peace!
Lol. My narc that never made it to even boyfriend status just sent me gift out of nowhere after no contact since he TEXTED me out of nowhere on 'Valentines day' when I had even fell and had to go to the hospital between texts! No worries I am fully aware. Hilarious. 😆
GOD Bless!🙏🙏🙏
Thank you. Watching these video's has helped me profile his threat. He tried to show huge interest in my Harley when he first moved next door. That was the first moment, I knew there was something far wrong with my neighbor. He is no biker. This guy is a dangerous one. And a over the top show off. He tried taking advantage of me and trespass while in a disabling health catastrophe. Now I'm not 9yrs later. I know he is afraid of me now. I had the building dept knock on his door last summer, and had other neighbors standing on my lawn, wanting to confront him and help me. Just to poke him a little. I am hunting narcissists. It's gone on so long, he gave away all his secrets and corrupt power to me! I warned him several times, I go to an abuse survivor center. The day I rain shame on him, the subpoena will be on its way. I want to leave a mark that will follow him the rest of his life. And I will. Count on it! Soon he will regret knocking on my door.
Where do narcissists learn this stuff ? I have met a few in my life and often they aren't academically achievers but they seem to have this understanding of how to manipulate people . The fact that these traits are pretty universal - does that mean that this is a genetic trait .
Spies have training programs that teach this stuff.
It's fu..... Demonic lol
And I'm sure from childhood. Likely learning from their environment.
Maybe narcissism runs in the family. They probably have a parent or grandparent or other relative from whom they learn these things.
Yeesh! Lack of self-awareness is an unsettling thought.
This is exactly what I’ve been going through!!!! No answers and ghosting so
I’ve been stuck and anxious not knowing what has happened. I’ve never been so stuck in my life!! I think I’m getting it now. But the weird thing is I feel like he had some feelings behind trying to hide them. And yes I look crazy because I was getting all emotional trying to talk to him and he just wouldn’t really say much then the ghosting would start a day or so later. This truly is a mind fu** like no other!!! The thing is I was led to read, even buy a narcissist book to read and still thought he might change for the better. Buy hasn’t happen in years.
2 big things that's happend n my year of marriage to this narc. My daughter gave a baby up. My mom has a brain tumor. Literally the worst things in my life. My narc husband has never once asked me anything about either. No r u OK, r they ok, do u need anything, want a hug, whats going on. Nothing. Bc he could care less.
very enlightening. makes me doubt most of my interactions and other people's motives :(
True My Husband Is doing the same thing Thànk You For Sharing This Video With US ALL ❤️
I lived with a friend for 7 years and the whole time she made it feel like she was the captain of the ship and if you said something, you were causing a ripple and rocking the boat. I questioned my sanity. Once I figured this out I got out. I left the whole situation and she made me out to be the bad guy, turning my friends against me then trying to turn my family against me. After running for my life she emailed me telling me how I used her and how much of a soulless person. Crazy how true everything you said makes me feel so much better getting out and cutting my ties. I was so tired of the mind games. Listen to your conscious, red flags are real.
Study of narcissism or toxic behavior should be made a course in high school curriculum. One has to pass to graduate!!
The first time I left my one crawling back, begging for forgiveness. Next eight weeks, he destroyed me every way he could, and threw me out.
So a friend's girlfriend dumped him. His mother decided to encourage him by inviting him away for the weekend to a country retreat. So slightly reluctantly he decided to go. Somehow she the x girlfriend heard on the grapevine that he was going out of town with his mum to enjoy a retreat. She then called him to abuse him for daring to go away when he should be instead sad at home and grieving.... go figure he dodged a bullet with that sad case of a human.
This explains so much about what I experienced with the ex and my both of my parents.
One of my exes was a narcissist. 100% this. Another thing he often did was projection: accusing and criticizing others of things he was actually the one at fault for. Which, if caught unaware, creates confusion and self-doubt. Also, if feeling insecure or tired, would verbally and emotionally bully a convenient scapegoat, making the scapegoat look bad in the eyes of others, while playing the victim. On the next day (or after causing an emotional reaction, breaking the other, and releasing his own stress) all was forgotten (or a carefully reality was rewritten in his brain, that benefited him), and no one could expect accountability for his words or actions. If the matter was brought again, he would get defensive and attack again with his confusing "recalled reality" and smart, manipulative words. And when feeling good, he would behave and talk in a crafted way to get approval and applause from others - especially the ones who didn't know him well, and hadn't been already badly burned (or asked for accountability).
OMG!! I'm SURROUNDED by them! More "crap" to overthink, everytime I'm around---anyone? Questioning
"Am I one?" now. 🙄
NOT subscribing. But thnx for "the info."
Not everyone is a narcissist and videos like this certainly don’t help. Is this woman an actual psychologist? Or is she someone that’s making money throwing around the narcissist label too much. You would have to be pretty smart and very aware of yourself to know how to play all these games. I think it’s better if they just say toxic people instead. I’ve been studying personality disorders for about 4 years now.
Confabulation is the word. It’s not a complete lie , there might be some truth.
All silly accurate, it bothers me that a lot of these are accepted in basic public society
Like turn on the TV and you’ll encounter all of em
Thank you ,blessing to you and your angels always watch over you, amen
Thank you, this is starting to make sense now. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who convinced me that it was me who was! The triangulation tactic.. she used her husband… whom she cheated on with me (emotionally) and left for me but would always tell
Me how great he was.. she even told me she still loves him and still fancies him etc etc
I didn’t realize how trauma bond I was to him until we broke up. It was the worst addiction. Anyone could ever have couldn’t go to AA but I did go to counseling immediately
You Are Very Awesome Thank You 🙏
I used to have a friend who would make snide remarks at my expense in front of others. So what I finally did (with success) was say, "And? I'm not sure where you're going with this - was there a question in there somewhere"? My voice was calm. I looked into her cold, dead eyes, What this did was put the onus back onto her - she didn't expect it and started to stammer. I took the power back right then and there. Needless to say, she's out of my world for good - she doesn't deserve a seat at my table.
They play all day lol be having people listening 👂 and watching you too make you look 👀 crazy by playing with your emotions lol 😂
Wow!!! This is spot on my ex husband of 31 years and my parents!!! I never am good enough for my family! My brother is the golden child because he has money! I'm disabled from ex- husband so I'm useless in my parents eyes! I pray for my mom the evilness is real!
Here is a weapon for most of these tactics these days, the cell phone and it's texting capabilities.
Its true! I will never answer her call.
Your comment is too vague. I use the video function on my cell phone to record these people and catch them in their lies and games. They get so confused because their ego loves the attention, but is fearful in not being in control.
I could just check these off the list for a former "supervisor" who i came to understand likely had narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It was fully destructive in the department and she was eventually fired but not until it was brought to the attention of upper upper management, and much too late for recovery of the department (everyone but her golden child protoge, who was also a manipulator, left). Her manager thought she was something of a saint, but she created chaos whenever she could in the departmemt using all these (and more) tactics. She also used them to bully the heads of other departments, even for negative attention she received.
Feb 2022 edit. I couldn't think of an example of mirroring that she did then but now I have. I didn't recognize the tactic at the time, but after 2 years of being jerked around by her (at that time), I wasn't about to fall for it. It was a hobby she know I had. She became interested in after no previous interest. She'd asked my advice and wanted me to come to her house, or have me invite her to mine (which wasn't going to happen). I gave my advice but wouldn't connect with her otherwise on that hobby. Soon thereafter, she made it clear to others in the office that she was no longer interested in the hobby.
Connecting to one’s intuition is such a trek omg BUT ITS DOABLE and it’s such a vast oceanic intelligence too!
The order of things to do is:
1- silence the narc voices and introjects by asking “WHOSE VOICE IS THIS?” when negative self talk starts. Your own voice (intuition) will ALWAYS be on your side so any voice not on your side is an internalized voice of an abuser. So you ask WHOSE VOICE IS THIS and the representation of the voice can come forth in your imagination and you can see idk a snake with your mom’s head so then you smashhhh it and rip apart or whatever, and every time a negative self talk comes out you repeat the process and LO AND BEHOLD it STFU
2- create stillness, stop the running, concentrate on your breathing, do things mindfully, and you’ll hear that quiet little voice of your intuition offer you insights! Write them down, ponder them, act on them!
3- the more your intuition sees you being receptive, the more it will send messages
4- build your relationship to self, love your nervous system and it will love you back
Health is Wholeness and Integrity
Lol if anyone wants to know more just give a shout! And Common Ego miss, you are a great teacher!!!! Subscribed
Your videos are so eye opening and helpful!