This just happened to me. I had to break it off (Situationship) because of being taken for granted and after 8 months of NC I reached the point of being ok with reaching out for my own healing, he did respond but just through a few text messages back and forth I could tell he did absolutely NO work on himself and could not even muster an apology or even recognize his behavior ( he's a DA) at all so when he asked to see me( for sex ) I told him goodbye for good deleted his number and I feel absolutely free of his abuse. I will never let this happen to me again now that I have my answers as to what attachment styles are and to avoid DAs all together.
Hi Shannon, the most important thing is that you are feeling in a more positive place now. You have a future ahead of you that you can see clearer and a road-map to your own success.
Do people who have only played with your emotions , gave you false hopes of the future, used you and then dumped over a stupid argument and now he's dating another new girl just after one month of breakup will regret too? What about those people who was just there in the relationship for fun and wasn't there mentally into the relationship to begin with?
Hi Debolina, thank you for your question and I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. I would like to change the perspective of your question. If you were in a relationship with someone who played with your emotions, gave you false hope for the future, dumped you over a stupid argument and began dating a new girl a month later - Why would you ever want them to be back in a relationship with them? It sounds like you wanted a serious, deep relationship and he didn't. Your relationship goals weren't aligned. Yes, at some stage he will likely consider his past and quite possibly regret his actions. However, that doesn't mean you should want to get back into a relationship with him.
@@vincentbos thankyou so much for replying :) yes I wanted a serious relationship and I had clearly mentioned myself to him since the very beginning that I'm looking for something deep and serious. But little did I know that he had intensions to use me for physical and mental support. I'm confident enough to say that I gave my best into this relationship , I pushed my limits and did everything I could and try to become the best and supporting partner one could be, I'm not saying I was perfect , I have flaws too but I did my best. During our relationship, he cheated on me couple of times and I gave him a second chance and a third chance as well because he asked for it and I believed him when he said he'll change but little did I know that it's only to keep me hanging onn by the side. I don't essentially want him back in my life and I've realized that he was just playing around after analysing all the red flags I've been ignoring since the beginning but I do wonder sometimes if he would really look back and wonder what a rare precious thing he lost , and that I'm irreplaceable. I loved him with all my heart and soul, gave him more than he asked for, and didn't get the bare minimum in return (basically settled for less). It's hard to move onn from someone you love so deeply. Thankyou so much for taking the initiative and helping people like us clear out hundreds of doubts pestering in our minds. Sorry English is not my first language so kindly pardon any mistakes. :)
@@debolinaroy3419 you speak fantastic English! What is your first language? What country do you live in? Your ex will at some stage look back to his past. He will have to look at his behaviour and will regret his actions. You need to look forward to an exciting future. A positive, wonderful future where you will connect with a new man who respects and loves you.
@@vincentbos thankyou so much for giving me insights ❤️. Much love and support for your channel. Looking forward to much more contents in the future ! I'm from India my first language is Hindi(Indian national language) .
@@vincentbos Oh, the days go by hour by hour....but this is how it is... I know in the end I'll be better off....remember, I tried 6 years with a dismissive avoidant or narc person....took a toll on my emotional and physical health and my finances. She brought so much Drama to my life.
@@vincentbos Yes! This was extremely unhealthy. Now something just has happened: Got an WhatsApp, that she's put a bone for my dog in front of my door. Do I have to assume, this is reaching out to me or is it just, as she said, for the dog? I think the latter....so I will not message her back, but thank her the next time I run unexpectedly into her. She broke up with me already once years ago, and I was interpreting always between the lines....to find out later, it was all wrong. Not in six years she committed once to me, always denied everything, never had any feelings for me, but stayed, lived and loved with me....VERY confusing. Or do you think this is an opportunity to respond?
If the dog is yours and your ex dumped you, then your ex has no claim over your dog. My suggestion is to reply and ask why she has done this. The conversation should make things clear whether she was using this as an excuse, or whether she is genuinely concentrating on the dog.
Can you please do a video on when the dumper is 100% responsible for the break up because of his emotional immaturity and attachment issues. Mine got furious at me for doing something that was caused by him and ended the relationship during an argument impulsively
My ex broke up after a 3 month relationship. The reason was bc she said I would send her sculling messages… however, they were all to address faults in the relationship. We were supposed to talk but then I screwed it up sending a vicious text about how I don’t think I could forgive her, and she began to ignore me and block me a week later. I feel broken.
Hi i’m just wondering if it’s going to take longer for your ex to consider getting back together because he can’t experience a single life to full because of the lockdown would that have any affect on his decisions.
Hi I watched your video on how to text your ex when they break contact. Since she reached out and broke NC on my bday and we exchanged a few positive messages we have not built from that even though it’s only been 2 days. Am I over exaggerating in thinking this, but if they broke up with you and they wish your ex a happy birthday as an example would you start to re-consider your decision? Or maybe she’s trying to feed off my feelings and responses after NC. Currently back into NC now and waiting for her to text me again, I take I should just wait for her to text again right?
Hi Paul, thanks for your question. There is no 100% guaranteed way to get your ex back, nothing works 100% of the time and nothing fails 100% of the time. What we need to do is try and increase our chances of success by behaving in a way that has a better record of success. It sounds like you have given yourself a great chance of success by waiting for contact and then having a text conversation. My advice would be to have ended that conversation by asking your ex to meet-up sometime (or phone / video call if not possible to meet). If your ex says no / makes excuses etc, then go back into NC. Then repeat this process until your ex either reconnects with you or drifts away. If they drift away, then they were never wanting romance with you and hence you haven't lost out. If your ex has a birthday / special day within a month of their last reach-out to you, then you can message them happy birthday / Christmas etc.
@@vincentbos thanks Vincent. So I should make the effort to arrange meet ups and phone calls? I was thinking should she not ? Considering she broke up with me. But I do get you, maybe I should sit tight and see if she reaches out again and maybe try request a phone call.
When they have a new relation they will probably not ever look behind. More than getting her back I would have liked acknowledgment she treated me with zero respect. Never she had a word of regret and probably never will she. But I know that I deserve better and someday will not care to ever hear that she is sorry. Her loss if she does not want to look in the mirror and grow.
I had relationship for 3 years, but I broke up with him two months ago, because we fighting a lot and I thought we need to have a space. He told me that he wants to have more space and spent time with friends. I love him so much but in the end of relation he started being very mean and he takes me for granted..so I ended it. He never came and apologized for anything, he always told that’s all my fault. After week after our breakup I apologized to him and he started talking to me very badly. Like I’m the worst girl etc, he was actually really cold, but I don’t understand why. He wanted to have more time and focus on himself, why he is annoyed now? Now I’m in no contact, he seems really happy, I stopped calling him and apologize. After two weeks he started dating with girl that I was jealous of her in our relationship, he posted picture with her and he tells everyone he loves her the most. It’s hard for me, because I wanted just fixed our relationship and give him what he wants, but he has relationship yet? He is also talking about me badly to my friends, he told them that he dumped me and he is the happiest, but it wasn’t like that, when we broke up, he cried and called me. He also remove pictures with me from social media. I still love him and every time I’m trying to be better, but I don’t know, if he cares. He also told his friend that I’m waiting for him but now he wants to have fun with new girlfriend and friends.When we saw each other last time he told me that he knows we will be back together in the future. So why he has girlfriend? I don’t understand..
He is probably trying to fill the void you left when you broke up with him. My Ex did the same thing after she broke up with me. My guess is that they’re trying to distract themselves from facing all these emotions and thoughts. After 3 years of relationship in your case I can’t imagine that he’s emotional ready to go into a new relationship etc. ... I were in a relationship for 4 years and the breakup happens 5-6 months ago and I am not ready to date someone new. Keep your head high and stay strong !
Hello Am, thanks for your question and I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Please can I ask how old you and your ex are? Also, can I confirm that you ended the relationship and now want him back? So you are the dumper (due to his behaviour)?
Vincent Bos thank u, he is 19 and I’m 20. it’s our first relationship. Yes I dumped him but in our relationship we “broke up” many times so I didn’t mean it is like that. He just told that I’m addicted on him and I can’t do anything on my on, he told me that he wants to spend more time with friends and in the end of relationship he started ingnoring me completely. In the summer holidays he told me he is busy ..meanwhile he get drunk with his friends almost every time So we didn’t see each other for 2 months.. I also called him but he didn’t care, so I thought when we break up he started to value our relationship... (In the beginning of our relationship we’ were together all the time, we were like best friends..we had a lot of trips together) I also know that after our break up he wanted to make me jealous but now he is in the relationship, so I can’t do anything.. but I don’t understand him. He also tells to our mutual friends that he broke up with me and he is the happiest now, I was the word girlfriend and he did best decision... but it wasn’t like that, why he is lying?! How can he fall in love with someone new so quickly... he forget about me?
Thank you for letting me know more details Am. Your ex won't forget you and I suggest you listen to a number of my podcasts to help you with your mindset. Here is the link to the first video I suggest you watch - th-cam.com/video/_ltu6_DPka8/w-d-xo.html
Hi Fatima, they are liking your posts, but making a separation between who is posting them and the post. If / when they wish to talk with you they will likely message you directly.
Hi Troll, thank you for the suggestion. I did actually create one in the past. However, for now I have decided not to use it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I sadly don't have time to be in there really. I don't have chance to monitor or support people in there (other than posting the link to the latest podcast). The second reason is that I have been informed that these groups become negative echo chambers. Apparently, other coaches have them and they become a depression pit of negativity. Instead of supporting each other, people tend to circulate sadness and bad advice which actually causes more harm than good. So for these reasons, I'm not currently promoting a discord.
Hello Michal, I hope you are speaking with people about your thoughts and feelings. You will get through this is difficult time and you will have a positive future.
'GET YOUR EX BACK' Advice & Support
www.dateme.tips/
This just happened to me. I had to break it off (Situationship) because of being taken for granted and after 8 months of NC I reached the point of being ok with reaching out for my own healing, he did respond but just through a few text messages back and forth I could tell he did absolutely NO work on himself and could not even muster an apology or even recognize his behavior ( he's a DA) at all so when he asked to see me( for sex ) I told him goodbye for good deleted his number and I feel absolutely free of his abuse. I will never let this happen to me again now that I have my answers as to what attachment styles are and to avoid DAs all together.
Hi Shannon, the most important thing is that you are feeling in a more positive place now. You have a future ahead of you that you can see clearer and a road-map to your own success.
U dumped him. Not the other way around. You’re talking like it was the other way around
Do people who have only played with your emotions , gave you false hopes of the future, used you and then dumped over a stupid argument and now he's dating another new girl just after one month of breakup will regret too? What about those people who was just there in the relationship for fun and wasn't there mentally into the relationship to begin with?
Hi Debolina, thank you for your question and I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. I would like to change the perspective of your question. If you were in a relationship with someone who played with your emotions, gave you false hope for the future, dumped you over a stupid argument and began dating a new girl a month later - Why would you ever want them to be back in a relationship with them? It sounds like you wanted a serious, deep relationship and he didn't. Your relationship goals weren't aligned.
Yes, at some stage he will likely consider his past and quite possibly regret his actions. However, that doesn't mean you should want to get back into a relationship with him.
@@vincentbos thankyou so much for replying :) yes I wanted a serious relationship and I had clearly mentioned myself to him since the very beginning that I'm looking for something deep and serious. But little did I know that he had intensions to use me for physical and mental support. I'm confident enough to say that I gave my best into this relationship , I pushed my limits and did everything I could and try to become the best and supporting partner one could be, I'm not saying I was perfect , I have flaws too but I did my best. During our relationship, he cheated on me couple of times and I gave him a second chance and a third chance as well because he asked for it and I believed him when he said he'll change but little did I know that it's only to keep me hanging onn by the side. I don't essentially want him back in my life and I've realized that he was just playing around after analysing all the red flags I've been ignoring since the beginning but I do wonder sometimes if he would really look back and wonder what a rare precious thing he lost , and that I'm irreplaceable. I loved him with all my heart and soul, gave him more than he asked for, and didn't get the bare minimum in return (basically settled for less). It's hard to move onn from someone you love so deeply. Thankyou so much for taking the initiative and helping people like us clear out hundreds of doubts pestering in our minds. Sorry English is not my first language so kindly pardon any mistakes. :)
@@debolinaroy3419 you speak fantastic English! What is your first language? What country do you live in?
Your ex will at some stage look back to his past. He will have to look at his behaviour and will regret his actions.
You need to look forward to an exciting future. A positive, wonderful future where you will connect with a new man who respects and loves you.
@@vincentbos thankyou so much for giving me insights ❤️. Much love and support for your channel. Looking forward to much more contents in the future ! I'm from India my first language is Hindi(Indian national language) .
@@debolinaroy3419 you are very fluent in English as well. Thank you for your kind words.
She thinks she is better off without me....
Thinking never was her superpower.
Hi Karla, I hope you are OK.
Keep concentrating on taking one day at a time, moving forward.
@@vincentbos Oh, the days go by hour by hour....but this is how it is...
I know in the end I'll be better off....remember, I tried 6 years with a dismissive avoidant or narc person....took a toll on my emotional and physical health and my finances.
She brought so much Drama to my life.
@@karlashmeedavlasta6365 everyone deserves a drama free life. Stress and drama aren't good for anyone.
@@vincentbos Yes! This was extremely unhealthy.
Now something just has happened: Got an WhatsApp, that she's put a bone for my dog in front of my door.
Do I have to assume, this is reaching out to me or is it just, as she said, for the dog?
I think the latter....so I will not message her back, but thank her the next time I run unexpectedly into her.
She broke up with me already once years ago, and I was interpreting always between the lines....to find out later, it was all wrong.
Not in six years she committed once to me, always denied everything, never had any feelings for me, but stayed, lived and loved with me....VERY confusing.
Or do you think this is an opportunity to respond?
If the dog is yours and your ex dumped you, then your ex has no claim over your dog. My suggestion is to reply and ask why she has done this.
The conversation should make things clear whether she was using this as an excuse, or whether she is genuinely concentrating on the dog.
Can you please do a video on when the dumper is 100% responsible for the break up because of his emotional immaturity and attachment issues. Mine got furious at me for doing something that was caused by him and ended the relationship during an argument impulsively
My ex broke up after a 3 month relationship. The reason was bc she said I would send her sculling messages… however, they were all to address faults in the relationship. We were supposed to talk but then I screwed it up sending a vicious text about how I don’t think I could forgive her, and she began to ignore me and block me a week later. I feel broken.
Hi i’m just wondering if it’s going to take longer for your ex to consider getting back together because he can’t experience a single life to full because of the lockdown would that have any affect on his decisions.
Hi Aga, lockdown has certainly added extra pressures for everyone. It's quite possible that this could cause an ex to have an unstable mindset.
Hi I watched your video on how to text your ex when they break contact. Since she reached out and broke NC on my bday and we exchanged a few positive messages we have not built from that even though it’s only been 2 days. Am I over exaggerating in thinking this, but if they broke up with you and they wish your ex a happy birthday as an example would you start to re-consider your decision? Or maybe she’s trying to feed off my feelings and responses after NC. Currently back into NC now and waiting for her to text me again, I take I should just wait for her to text again right?
Hi Paul, thanks for your question. There is no 100% guaranteed way to get your ex back, nothing works 100% of the time and nothing fails 100% of the time. What we need to do is try and increase our chances of success by behaving in a way that has a better record of success. It sounds like you have given yourself a great chance of success by waiting for contact and then having a text conversation. My advice would be to have ended that conversation by asking your ex to meet-up sometime (or phone / video call if not possible to meet). If your ex says no / makes excuses etc, then go back into NC.
Then repeat this process until your ex either reconnects with you or drifts away. If they drift away, then they were never wanting romance with you and hence you haven't lost out. If your ex has a birthday / special day within a month of their last reach-out to you, then you can message them happy birthday / Christmas etc.
@@vincentbos thanks Vincent. So I should make the effort to arrange meet ups and phone calls? I was thinking should she not ? Considering she broke up with me. But I do get you, maybe I should sit tight and see if she reaches out again and maybe try request a phone call.
Thank you Paul. I will link you to a video where I describe my theory in depth - th-cam.com/video/yqhFDP_4308/w-d-xo.html
When they have a new relation they will probably not ever look behind. More than getting her back I would have liked acknowledgment she treated me with zero respect. Never she had a word of regret and probably never will she. But I know that I deserve better and someday will not care to ever hear that she is sorry. Her loss if she does not want to look in the mirror and grow.
You never know what the future holds, but it's important you focus on your future and the exciting times ahead. Stay focused on your journey.
Sometimes romantic relationship with girl is overrated. Best thing is to move on and earn money respect fame etc
I had relationship for 3 years, but I broke up with him two months ago, because we fighting a lot and I thought we need to have a space. He told me that he wants to have more space and spent time with friends. I love him so much but in the end of relation he started being very mean and he takes me for granted..so I ended it. He never came and apologized for anything, he always told that’s all my fault. After week after our breakup I apologized to him and he started talking to me very badly. Like I’m the worst girl etc, he was actually really cold, but I don’t understand why. He wanted to have more time and focus on himself, why he is annoyed now? Now I’m in no contact, he seems really happy, I stopped calling him and apologize. After two weeks he started dating with girl that I was jealous of her in our relationship, he posted picture with her and he tells everyone he loves her the most. It’s hard for me, because I wanted just fixed our relationship and give him what he wants, but he has relationship yet? He is also talking about me badly to my friends, he told them that he dumped me and he is the happiest, but it wasn’t like that, when we broke up, he cried and called me. He also remove pictures with me from social media. I still love him and every time I’m trying to be better, but I don’t know, if he cares. He also told his friend that I’m waiting for him but now he wants to have fun with new girlfriend and friends.When we saw each other last time he told me that he knows we will be back together in the future. So why he has girlfriend? I don’t understand..
He is probably trying to fill the void you left when you broke up with him.
My Ex did the same thing after she broke up with me.
My guess is that they’re trying to distract themselves from facing all these emotions and thoughts. After 3 years of relationship in your case I can’t imagine that he’s emotional ready to go into a new relationship etc. ... I were in a relationship for 4 years and the breakup happens 5-6 months ago and I am not ready to date someone new.
Keep your head high and stay strong !
Hello Am, thanks for your question and I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Please can I ask how old you and your ex are? Also, can I confirm that you ended the relationship and now want him back? So you are the dumper (due to his behaviour)?
Vincent Bos thank u, he is 19 and I’m 20. it’s our first relationship. Yes I dumped him but in our relationship we “broke up” many times so I didn’t mean it is like that. He just told that I’m addicted on him and I can’t do anything on my on, he told me that he wants to spend more time with friends and in the end of relationship he started ingnoring me completely. In the summer holidays he told me he is busy ..meanwhile he get drunk with his friends almost every time So we didn’t see each other for 2 months.. I also called him but he didn’t care, so I thought when we break up he started to value our relationship... (In the beginning of our relationship we’ were together all the time, we were like best friends..we had a lot of trips together) I also know that after our break up he wanted to make me jealous but now he is in the relationship, so I can’t do anything.. but I don’t understand him. He also tells to our mutual friends that he broke up with me and he is the happiest now, I was the word girlfriend and he did best decision... but it wasn’t like that, why he is lying?! How can he fall in love with someone new so quickly... he forget about me?
SpectreGoesOn thank you so much, stay strong!
Thank you for letting me know more details Am. Your ex won't forget you and I suggest you listen to a number of my podcasts to help you with your mindset. Here is the link to the first video I suggest you watch - th-cam.com/video/_ltu6_DPka8/w-d-xo.html
You're amazing. Cheers 🍻
Wow, thank you Mego!
Why would an ex like my posts on fb ????
Hi Fatima, they are liking your posts, but making a separation between who is posting them and the post. If / when they wish to talk with you they will likely message you directly.
That outro song 👀🔥
Hey vincent will you create a discord channel for us so that we can discuss our problems there...
Hi Troll, thank you for the suggestion. I did actually create one in the past. However, for now I have decided not to use it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I sadly don't have time to be in there really. I don't have chance to monitor or support people in there (other than posting the link to the latest podcast). The second reason is that I have been informed that these groups become negative echo chambers. Apparently, other coaches have them and they become a depression pit of negativity. Instead of supporting each other, people tend to circulate sadness and bad advice which actually causes more harm than good. So for these reasons, I'm not currently promoting a discord.
@@vincentbos whats your personal mail i wanna share something with you..
@@Sportsmaniac10 vincent@dateme.tips
Please check your spam / junk folders if you don't see a reply within 24 hours.
Relationships are pointless
Not in my case
Hello Michal, I hope you are speaking with people about your thoughts and feelings. You will get through this is difficult time and you will have a positive future.