I’m a federal agent in my country. I once had problems with three narcissists. Their envy was so deep that I believe that in a given situation there was an attempt to kill me. But it all ended well and I moved far away. Also, I have the gifted report and I’m a Mensa member, I believe this worsens the issue of envy. Gifted people are regular targets of narcissists, as are the INFJ. To be honest, the more I study about gifted, I discover descriptions that are exactly the same on the things Wenzes teaches about the INFJ. Currently, the definitions of gifted people go much further than having an IQ 130. Deep emotional intelligence, in contemporary definitions, can also mean giftedness. I am almost convinced that all INFJ are a subtype of gifted.
@@bamgold4677 In the past, people believed that the gifted ones were people with IQ greater than 130, depending on the scale. Currently, the definition of "gifted" goes beyond that. There are other types of intelligence, such as emotional intelligence, etc.
For decades I never understood why ppl treat me weird and sabotage my efforts. Finally I studied jealousy/envy, something I really don't feel much, and if I do it's as a motivator to do better than my heroes. I can't imagine being so insecure that you want to be someone else or have what they do. So bizarre!
Right, it does seem crazily insecure. There are people that are the jealous type and it is an emotional state that is absorbed which will affect you. When a person is like that, I would automatically be distancing myself from them. Would be interesting to call it out and deal with it like the video.
I feel same like you, so interesting, it's the first time in my life that I find somebody who says the same thing: "I don't feel envy, envy makes just admire my "heroes" more and makes me want to work harder to surpass them". It was terrible being a teenager, admiring people (who I saw as being above me in an aspect) who were bursting of envy towards me and working to put me down
I've had people not only become envious but even pick fights with me just because of the way they perceive me as laid back and aloof. It sounds silly but I've experienced it a lot, with people I meet, women I date and even "friends". So I learned not to share with people, never let anyone know if things are going good. On the other hand I also learned to just be super toxic to everyone and express disdain and contempt towards anything remotely annoying, funny thing is that ever since I started shitting on people and sending everyone to hell, then people have started to treat me better 😂😂😂😂 man, people suck 🔥🔥🔥
Pretending like it’s not happening is the worst thing you can do to yourself 😫 speaking from personal experience- always stand up for yourself- you’re just as important as everyone else ❤️
With narcissists, it's all about shame and avoiding feeling it, the feeling of not performing well-enough, not being intelligent, beautiful, successful etc. If they see you as being below them, they may feel contempt towards you or think you envy them, or, when they see you as above them - envy might be triggered in them and anger soon follows. If they see you as being superior, they might belittle you, trying to take you down. If you're not perfect, it reflects onto them, if you're "too" perfect, again, it reflects onto them. No matter what you do or who you are, you're an aggressor. It gets worse and weirder, as closer you are to them, their child or their romantic partner.
Yes!!! Observe people, they usually expose themselves early on. Face expressions gives it away, the way they express themselves of others, etc. And keep your distance. Not everyone is your friend. We are different and they notice it and hate that we dont play along. We just want peace. ✌🏼
I can say there is someone who was secretly jealous of me and faked a friendship while trying to undermine me with any information she learned. When I shared with her that I felt left out sometimes she began letting me know whenever something happened with her socially that I was not a part of. I thought it was childish and ignored it but it got worse, just like you say here. I still hurt from what she did but she will never be me and she will never have access to me like that again.
It was nicely said. INFJs have a higher frequency than others, and another way to punish us is the smear campaign they can do. I am reading about stoic techniques for being respected quickly when you know someone knows you. They recommend being firm, and it helps to show some power in a word or tone right in the beginning. Someone in the comments here did it, and it worked. I will be trying harder to get good at it.
It's so exhausting and so hurtful when we found out what was going on in our social circles and even after confronting the issues head on and still being lied to about it is awful. Maybe older INFJs start to retreat and observe more because we have been in those types of situations so many times only to end up in the same situations. We already have a limited social battery so going through it all again is an INFJs worst nightmare, we are accused of a lack of trust and many other things...but really is that the situation when we've proved so many times of betrayal and people can be really judgemental and say we over react or they say oh sorry I was drunk get over it. I hate it when people say just get over it. INFJ really feel things deeply and although we don't often show it because we a strong about most things we go away and have to heal again. I used to get so angry and cry it out when I was a younger INFJ whereas now I tend to recognise the patterns more through past experience and completely avoid those situations. It's interesting to watch different INFJs and see how much they take with a pinch of salt these days in coping with jealous manipulative sneaky deceptive individuals. There's absolutely nothing to be jealous of, we all do things differently. We just experience things in a different time frame, we've been through similar experiences just in different times, I bet people can relate more to eachother if they tried without the intentions of wanting to push someone down instead of walk upwards together? Thankyou I could relate to this a lot and it reminded me of how I felt in my thirties ❤
Um, are you talking directly to me? LOL thanks! I'm 65 and just now coming to realize all of this. What you said in this comment was like an arrow, piercing my soul and opening my eyes. I've ignored these factors for far too long, and I've let narcissists and control freaks manipulate me because "I'm a nice guy." Thank you for an enlightening comment, I very much relate to your experience. ~ Dave
Yeah, its kinda cringe sometimes. Not sure why they cant just collaborate and be transparent. Kinda sad, actually. Wish they werent so shallow minded. In the world but not of it... I think some of us just evolve beyond a certain primal mind.
I read this somewhere in the comments and it hit me hard: Some people were not put here to evolve. They are here to remind you what it looks like if you don't.
I have included some spiritual readings in my repertoire-besides the philosophy of the Stoics-and they associate the INFJ type with Chosen Ones. So, the higher frequency of INFJs can raise some jealousy and envy in some people.
I eventually learn to unlike them if i become aware and they keep it up. I never confront but i watch closely and then boom, you have been demoted to acquaintance w/gray rock treatment OR nonexistent lol
@@SheenaPangonisI hate having to play the game. Not that I think I’m better but I feel they’re not worthy competition. It’s simply crazy because it’s not gender specific. I can expect silliness from other men but when it’s women… it’s just plain crazy…
@@lili_o_losaI haven’t door slammed in a minute. But there’s a few people in my life that are asking for it. They don’t even know what is waiting for them. I’ve been making excuses in my head for them calling it forgiveness.
This is super counsel on how to handle ourselves when we deal with people who envy us. I also appreciate it when you advise us about setting limits as to how much verbal nonsense we will take. I worked at a job sometime back where I knew there were people who were jealous of me. It happened to be work that I learned easily, and apparently I was perceived as a threat to several people - which was absolutely not true. So I identified with a lot of what you said in this video. One thing I did to cut down on the negativity was to simply not tell anyone what I was working on or how I was going to do it. I also found that when I initiated talking, I'd try to talk about business only - anything other than that had to come from them and not me. Now that I'm older, there aren't a many hassles as before. But I still go over the habits in mind .
Thanks for this. Longtime viewer, first time commenting, and I can't tell you how much helpful insight this channel has brought me. Just the other day I came to the end of a friendship with a coworker from the past decade plus... I just couldn't take the drama any longer and the negative emotions he'd dump on me. He has a LOT of anxiety and strange issues, and doesn't really deal with them. So, I guess I should say he projects them? Anyway, we had a terse convo wherein we parted ways, and I feel slightly hurt but more liberated than anything. When I played this video, you had my full attention as if I'd came to you for advice, and this is the talk we had. How do you DO that? LOL Thanks again. PS I don't know if it was envy on his part, specifically. But my wife of 34 years (I'm 65) has told me for a long time that "those folks from your past who you ruminate about because of the hurt, well... they likely saw you as a threat, or were envious." It's been hard to get my head around that. But I'm trying.
Great video. Thanks for sharing. I have been through these kind of situations many times; specially in workplace environment. The reflection of Ti (try to find the WHY and justify others behaviour) vs Te (Learn HOW to deal with this situation: mirroring the negative emotions as a way to set boundaries) is the real Game Changer here. As you say we are no this ethereal beings, monk like that are always in zen mode, just observing. We need to act and protect ourselves. Thanks for the Wisdom!!!
Same here with workplaces. I've always been targed by others for no clear reasons and they soon start to try to sabotage me or talk badly about me to bosses or coworkers. they never say anything directly to me, always go to others to do that. Even though I'm very open, friendly and cooperative, my presence just seems to bother them somehow or trigger something in them. Learning how to not take that personally and be more alert with this kind of people
Thanks for this video- It boggles my mind honestly that people are envious of me. Because I've had successes and failures just like anybody else. And maybe because I'm an INFJ I see so much good in others and see their successes and don't get the envy. But it's true I've set my own course and done it my way.
I have been targeted by my stepdaughter. It took me forever to understand what was happening. She gaslighted everyone around me and now no one will talk to me. When she couldn't convince my husband she cut him out, her own loving father. Our grandchildren won't talk to us. We haven't seen our great grandchildren for almost two years. I couldn't understand why she was doing this but she is also a terrific actress. This channel has helped me understand that as an INFJ I am different. I couldn't believe that anyone would be jealous of a 70 year old woman. She is in her 50s and rich. Now I do and it's still weird. The good thing is my husband and I have become even closer and I try hard every day to show gratitude and kindness to all. Thanks for helping me on my journey.
I seem to have attracted people who wanted to take me down a peg or two or just decide they didn’t like me. I’m not overly bold, I generally do my own thing quietly.
People hate that they can't be you lol. I had trouble recognizing envious people bc I don't think like most people. At high school I had this ring I bought for 2 dollars and I had a classmate acting jealous of it. Small minded ppl will always be insecure just for you breathing lol
Thank you so much Wenzes❣🙏🏻This is spot on and really sad but so very true...,feels even worse when it includes your own family! Stay true to yourself everybody, and never allow anybody to dim your light❣🌟🦋🌹
I wish I seen this video a year or two ago. For whatever reason I always believed that if I persist in ignoring disrespect and continue being kind to my friends they can change their behavior. Now I see how silly this idea is. 11:20 Never helped. I confirm.
Some people can change but it's very very few. If they are really moral and and they decide that they love someone and messed up and diddint understand them or boundaries and apologizes then they will change. Don't count on it though the vast majority can't change that much.
Some people can chsngr but it's very very few. If they are really moral and and they decide that they love someone and messed up and diddint understand them or boundaries and apologizes then they will change. Don't count on it though the vast majority can't change that much.
Some people can chsngr but it's very very few. If they are really moral and and they decide that they love someone and messed up and diddint understand them or boundaries and apologizes then they will change. Don't count on it though the vast majority can't change that much.
@@braxtonmills1235 I agree. No matter how much I believed in them, encouraged and supported them they were not interested in growth and self-development. I wasted so much energy trying to invest in others. It was unhealthy even though it felt like i was doing something noble and kind. I was talking to walls (and deep down knew it) the walls that don't want to put any effort to help themselves.
@@ToonRa-u2u What a beautiful way of putting it. Thank you for this inspiration. Thank you for the sacrifice of learning because I value this knowledge.
I’ve dealt with bullying from a neighbour for 3 years. It’s covert, so management have said they can’t do much. They are aware and have tried to evict multiple times for other reasons (long story). I told her from the beginning, it will not work out well for her. However, she has continued. The worst part is waking me up in the middle of the night. Multiple people have turned on her, when they realise she’s the one with the problem. She is finally realising that if she wants to keep her new boyfriend, she needs to shut it. They say hurt people hurt people but I disagree. Plenty of people deal with major trauma, without projecting it onto those who are in no way responsible for their problems. Also, these people know what they’re doing and do it anyway, just because they can. I also think they believe we’re stupid for not dealing with our trauma by becoming abusive ourselves. That’s how they justify their behaviour.
It's ok when you can deal with it, like just ignore it. It's harder when it's your narcissist boss. Told it straight to my face, and never stopped bugging me with nonsense til I quit. Best experience of my life all things considered, made me realize lots of stuff that put me on the path of INFJ greatness. Life is really good now, having made the few ajustments required 😉
Same here. Malignant narcissistic boss. The more I do for her the worst she got towards as if even chopping myself up and offering me on a plate would still no enough. Saw it after 3 months - I left . Door slam they scrambled when I Did as they’d never thought I would leave.
Unfortunately I feel like a lot of people are envious and jealous of me. It’s surprising that many of these people are older relatives twice my age which is weird. They screwed up when they were young and they feel jealous about my accomplishments . They think I have been living a privileged and easy life when in reality it has been stressful and challenging at times. I just prefer to live a quiet life and they are just jealous of that.
This happens to me all the time. I am me and sometimes people don’t receive me well. It hurts bc I start questioning everything that I do. Can’t help but wonder what u did. I have and I am still learning some people just can’t handle me. I am not changing or being a chameleon anymore. Take me or leave me and I’m starting to be ok with it. I am me and I deserve to be authenticity me. ❤
Ahh! Yes! The truth is most people cannot be genuinely themselves and here we are walking without a care in the world. Because we don’t focus on superficial things like most people do! Keep on being you!❤
After blocking my INTJ interest due to hurtful brutal honesty, he learned to become much more sensitive to my feelings. Each time I blocked him we went up to a year without any communication; yet now we have a wonderful relationship and my boundaries are honored, as I honor his by thinking more carefully before I speak. I tend to change my mind constantly when I am thinking out loud, and this behavior of mine was driving him crazy. You should see us now. We are the best of friends now. He is 67 and I am 58, and have yet to have a romantic relationship. But I know he loves me, and he knows I love him. We are in one another’s inner circle now due to the boundaries I created as an INFJ who now doesn’t take s!$&, nor dishes it out. Thank you for your wonderful videos. I’ve been following you since you began, or close, about ten or so years ago. Keep it up! I’m so proud of you, me and all your listeners who are growing to thrive in an epic INFJ life! I love you Wenzes!
With the INTJ it's just about loving them and understanding them. It will be much easier to understand them then them us. But that's okay they have admirable traits and they have a heart underneath.
I don’t know how all of you do it cope with it. It’s always bothered me and I could never understand why as much as I change myself I still never fit into everyone else’s mold.
I know this is unrelated question to the video, but I was wondering something as an INFJ. I think I'm considered an HSP (highly sensitive person) What came first? (the chicken or the egg) Am I sensitive because I'm an INFJ or am I an INFJ because I'm sensitive? I've struggled with my sensitivity my whole life, and while I've found ways to manage it. I still suffer the 'weight of the world' at times. I cry at the state of the world and the senseless often confounding ways people hurt each other and the planet we call home. Thank you to anyone that takes the time to read this or respond. Sometimes its just good to get out my thoughts
You are deep smart and also unique. You have empathy can read the room and have high intelligence. Chemicals in your brain were developed during birth that made you this way.
I had this friend who I would sense had a lot going on in their mind when we were in each other's company. Like a kind of admiration, and she would compliment me a lot. But there are times when I would read a bad look on her face, like a scowl but figured I was misinterpreting. When I met her friends once, they seemed to be sneering like they didn't like me. Later on, she and her friends did something that suggested they didn't want me in their company and I realized the friend probably had some hidden envy in her. I just found it weird, the odd compliments she always gave me. We are not friends anymore after the incident and it took my INFJ best friend to make me see she was horrible to me in that one instance. That it was not a misunderstanding. Because yes, I was justifying it!
Stood up for myself. The companies’ solution, go work double as far as agreed in the contract. Result, no income, I without a job ‘in choice’ so no unemployment. I worked full time for 33 years. I’m never signing a contract again. When I do, it’s 53 percent taxes anyway. ( yes, Ukraine people need money, Africans aswel, those who never work too, when born here, you only pay, pay, pay. I’ve had enough. )
I want to say Thank you. I wrote you a message about me in one of your older videos from a year ago and was hoping you would get it but you probably won’t. Anyway THANK YOU for opening my eyes to realize I wasn’t crazy all my life I just didn’t know anything about me and why I beat to this drum that I do.
I get a lot of karaoke operators discriminating. I had one constantly calling me up before anyone came in then again when the crowd thinned out again. One night the mainstream crowd came in i put my request in i got snubbed. I put in another one. Snubbed again. 3rd one. Then 2 young girls went over and bitched the guy out. He accused them of working for me which i didnt even know they were there. They could tell he was deliberately discriminating.
Wenzes: Why do I get INFP-A or INFP-T every time I take the test. I know deep in my soul and I'm sure I'm an INFJ. I act just like every single INFJ video, I don't act like an INFP. It still does bother me that I get INFP, because I have a bit of a perfectionism problem. Off topic I know, appreciate your videos ❤
@@patrickglaser1560don't you think it's weird that people aren't happy just being themselves. Being an INFJ is more rare, but to be honest people should be more worried about correctly identifying their personalities. That way, they can be the best versions of themselves. I think it's weird to want to pretend to be someone you're not. I don't like fake people. Once someone shows me they are fake, I dip out quietly. The great fade is what I call it, I slowly give less of myself and my warm energy disappears. I don't like toxic people. I have high moral standards and I realize a lot of other people don't. I trigger people all the time, just saying what I feel. My thinking is very different from most people and with the help I've received here; I finally feel comfortable just being me. I've always noticed people do get envious of me, but they get really mean and bullied me for it. I won't dim my light anymore.
I really work hard to engage myself in someway of earning more income. My family are happy once again and can now afford anything for my family even with my Retirement.$67k weekly returns has been life changing, after so much struggles.
I love Wenzes. I'm not envious I'm proud of her. She's amazing. She was a 100k INFJ very young and worked her way up the corporate latter. I really like her alot. Envious people usually are ESTJ and ESTP.
How have people acted around when you hade the impression they were envious for some reason?
I’m a federal agent in my country. I once had problems with three narcissists. Their envy was so deep that I believe that in a given situation there was an attempt to kill me. But it all ended well and I moved far away. Also, I have the gifted report and I’m a Mensa member, I believe this worsens the issue of envy. Gifted people are regular targets of narcissists, as are the INFJ. To be honest, the more I study about gifted, I discover descriptions that are exactly the same on the things Wenzes teaches about the INFJ. Currently, the definitions of gifted people go much further than having an IQ 130. Deep emotional intelligence, in contemporary definitions, can also mean giftedness. I am almost convinced that all INFJ are a subtype of gifted.
Picking fights, creating conflict, talking shit behind my back, lies, manipulation and sabotage.
High IQ is very important. Congratulations I am IQ 120 it is very important. Each IQ points adds yearly income gains.
@@bamgold4677 In the past, people believed that the gifted ones were people with IQ greater than 130, depending on the scale. Currently, the definition of "gifted" goes beyond that. There are other types of intelligence, such as emotional intelligence, etc.
They say little things to try to make me feel insecure.
Took most of my life to recognize, process & then accept this very real phenomenon. Very foreign to us because we don’t think that way.
I step away, keep my distance and don't try to. be too friendly
For decades I never understood why ppl treat me weird and sabotage my efforts. Finally I studied jealousy/envy, something I really don't feel much, and if I do it's as a motivator to do better than my heroes. I can't imagine being so insecure that you want to be someone else or have what they do. So bizarre!
Exactly how I’ve felt my whole life
Bizarre indeed. Unnecessary stupidity
You were inspired, you used your heroes as an inspiration to be better.
Right, it does seem crazily insecure. There are people that are the jealous type and it is an emotional state that is absorbed which will affect you. When a person is like that, I would automatically be distancing myself from them. Would be interesting to call it out and deal with it like the video.
I feel same like you, so interesting, it's the first time in my life that I find somebody who says the same thing: "I don't feel envy, envy makes just admire my "heroes" more and makes me want to work harder to surpass them".
It was terrible being a teenager, admiring people (who I saw as being above me in an aspect) who were bursting of envy towards me and working to put me down
I've had people not only become envious but even pick fights with me just because of the way they perceive me as laid back and aloof. It sounds silly but I've experienced it a lot, with people I meet, women I date and even "friends". So I learned not to share with people, never let anyone know if things are going good. On the other hand I also learned to just be super toxic to everyone and express disdain and contempt towards anything remotely annoying, funny thing is that ever since I started shitting on people and sending everyone to hell, then people have started to treat me better 😂😂😂😂 man, people suck 🔥🔥🔥
The second part
Suck real bad
very fun pov😂
I need to learn to do that.
This is teached by the stoics as a technique to be quickly respected.
Good feedback.
⛵️
Pretending like it’s not happening is the worst thing you can do to yourself 😫 speaking from personal experience- always stand up for yourself- you’re just as important as everyone else ❤️
They are just plain jealous and if they are narcissists, they want to own you.
Own you and control you, it's weird
Or they want to finish with you.
With narcissists, it's all about shame and avoiding feeling it, the feeling of not performing well-enough, not being intelligent, beautiful, successful etc.
If they see you as being below them, they may feel contempt towards you or think you envy them, or, when they see you as above them - envy might be triggered in them and anger soon follows. If they see you as being superior, they might belittle you, trying to take you down.
If you're not perfect, it reflects onto them, if you're "too" perfect, again, it reflects onto them. No matter what you do or who you are, you're an aggressor. It gets worse and weirder, as closer you are to them, their child or their romantic partner.
@@bogdanlazar3278You remind me of a British broadcaster in the photo. Compliment.
@@bamgold4677 Ty :)
Yeah taking their negative emotions personally is the worst thing. I won't allow others to project their envious emotions onto me
Took me so long to acknowledge this envy when I notice it from others, especially people I considered as my friends.
same....friends, co-workers and family unfortunately
Yes!!! Observe people, they usually expose themselves early on. Face expressions gives it away, the way they express themselves of others, etc. And keep your distance. Not everyone is your friend. We are different and they notice it and hate that we dont play along. We just want peace. ✌🏼
I can say there is someone who was secretly jealous of me and faked a friendship while trying to undermine me with any information she learned. When I shared with her that I felt left out sometimes she began letting me know whenever something happened with her socially that I was not a part of. I thought it was childish and ignored it but it got worse, just like you say here. I still hurt from what she did but she will never be me and she will never have access to me like that again.
It was nicely said.
INFJs have a higher frequency than others, and another way to punish us is the smear campaign they can do.
I am reading about stoic techniques for being respected quickly when you know someone knows you. They recommend being firm, and it helps to show some power in a word or tone right in the beginning.
Someone in the comments here did it, and it worked. I will be trying harder to get good at it.
It's so exhausting and so hurtful when we found out what was going on in our social circles and even after confronting the issues head on and still being lied to about it is awful. Maybe older INFJs start to retreat and observe more because we have been in those types of situations so many times only to end up in the same situations. We already have a limited social battery so going through it all again is an INFJs worst nightmare, we are accused of a lack of trust and many other things...but really is that the situation when we've proved so many times of betrayal and people can be really judgemental and say we over react or they say oh sorry I was drunk get over it. I hate it when people say just get over it. INFJ really feel things deeply and although we don't often show it because we a strong about most things we go away and have to heal again. I used to get so angry and cry it out when I was a younger INFJ whereas now I tend to recognise the patterns more through past experience and completely avoid those situations. It's interesting to watch different INFJs and see how much they take with a pinch of salt these days in coping with jealous manipulative sneaky deceptive individuals. There's absolutely nothing to be jealous of, we all do things differently. We just experience things in a different time frame, we've been through similar experiences just in different times, I bet people can relate more to eachother if they tried without the intentions of wanting to push someone down instead of walk upwards together?
Thankyou I could relate to this a lot and it reminded me of how I felt in my thirties ❤
Um, are you talking directly to me? LOL thanks! I'm 65 and just now coming to realize all of this. What you said in this comment was like an arrow, piercing my soul and opening my eyes. I've ignored these factors for far too long, and I've let narcissists and control freaks manipulate me because "I'm a nice guy."
Thank you for an enlightening comment, I very much relate to your experience.
~ Dave
Yeah, its kinda cringe sometimes. Not sure why they cant just collaborate and be transparent. Kinda sad, actually. Wish they werent so shallow minded.
In the world but not of it... I think some of us just evolve beyond a certain primal mind.
I read this somewhere in the comments and it hit me hard: Some people were not put here to evolve. They are here to remind you what it looks like if you don't.
I have included some spiritual readings in my repertoire-besides the philosophy of the Stoics-and they associate the INFJ type with Chosen Ones. So, the higher frequency of INFJs can raise some jealousy and envy in some people.
@@McD-j5rThey are fools don't worry your smarter then the lower frequency.
It’s crazy how I always attract people who secretly compete against me. It’s always in secret and it’s usually people who I genuinely like…
I know. I never mean to be in competition but people make me play the game. 😮
I eventually learn to unlike them if i become aware and they keep it up. I never confront but i watch closely and then boom, you have been demoted to acquaintance w/gray rock treatment OR nonexistent lol
@@SheenaPangonisI hate having to play the game. Not that I think I’m better but I feel they’re not worthy competition. It’s simply crazy because it’s not gender specific. I can expect silliness from other men but when it’s women… it’s just plain crazy…
@@lili_o_losaI haven’t door slammed in a minute. But there’s a few people in my life that are asking for it. They don’t even know what is waiting for them. I’ve been making excuses in my head for them calling it forgiveness.
@@SheenaPangonis
Then when you learn of the secret competition, and put in very little effort just to surpass them without really trying.
😂
This is super counsel on how to handle ourselves when we deal with people who envy us. I also appreciate it when you advise us about setting limits as to how much verbal nonsense we will take.
I worked at a job sometime back where I knew there were people who were jealous of me. It happened to be work that I learned easily, and apparently I was perceived as a threat to several people - which was absolutely not true. So I identified with a lot of what you said in this video.
One thing I did to cut down on the negativity was to simply not tell anyone what I was working on or how I was going to do it. I also found that when I initiated talking, I'd try to talk about business only - anything other than that had to come from them and not me.
Now that I'm older, there aren't a many hassles as before. But I still go over the habits in mind .
Thanks for this. Longtime viewer, first time commenting, and I can't tell you how much helpful insight this channel has brought me. Just the other day I came to the end of a friendship with a coworker from the past decade plus... I just couldn't take the drama any longer and the negative emotions he'd dump on me. He has a LOT of anxiety and strange issues, and doesn't really deal with them. So, I guess I should say he projects them?
Anyway, we had a terse convo wherein we parted ways, and I feel slightly hurt but more liberated than anything. When I played this video, you had my full attention as if I'd came to you for advice, and this is the talk we had.
How do you DO that? LOL
Thanks again.
PS I don't know if it was envy on his part, specifically. But my wife of 34 years (I'm 65) has told me for a long time that "those folks from your past who you ruminate about because of the hurt, well... they likely saw you as a threat, or were envious." It's been hard to get my head around that. But I'm trying.
Great video. Thanks for sharing. I have been through these kind of situations many times; specially in workplace environment. The reflection of Ti (try to find the WHY and justify others behaviour) vs Te (Learn HOW to deal with this situation: mirroring the negative emotions as a way to set boundaries) is the real Game Changer here. As you say we are no this ethereal beings, monk like that are always in zen mode, just observing. We need to act and protect ourselves. Thanks for the Wisdom!!!
Same here with workplaces. I've always been targed by others for no clear reasons and they soon start to try to sabotage me or talk badly about me to bosses or coworkers. they never say anything directly to me, always go to others to do that. Even though I'm very open, friendly and cooperative, my presence just seems to bother them somehow or trigger something in them. Learning how to not take that personally and be more alert with this kind of people
Thanks for this video- It boggles my mind honestly that people are envious of me. Because I've had successes and failures just like anybody else. And maybe because I'm an INFJ I see so much good in others and see their successes and don't get the envy. But it's true I've set my own course and done it my way.
Yes, we are happy for others successes or triumphs!
@@PenelopePitstop0078we want everyone to be happy
Exactly being supportive and caring :):):):):):):):)@@PenelopePitstop0078
I have been targeted by my stepdaughter. It took me forever to understand what was happening. She gaslighted everyone around me and now no one will talk to me. When she couldn't convince my husband she cut him out, her own loving father. Our grandchildren won't talk to us. We haven't seen our great grandchildren for almost two years. I couldn't understand why she was doing this but she is also a terrific actress. This channel has helped me understand that as an INFJ I am different. I couldn't believe that anyone would be jealous of a 70 year old woman. She is in her 50s and rich. Now I do and it's still weird. The good thing is my husband and I have become even closer and I try hard every day to show gratitude and kindness to all. Thanks for helping me on my journey.
I seem to have attracted people who wanted to take me down a peg or two or just decide they didn’t like me. I’m not overly bold, I generally do my own thing quietly.
People hate that they can't be you lol. I had trouble recognizing envious people bc I don't think like most people. At high school I had this ring I bought for 2 dollars and I had a classmate acting jealous of it. Small minded ppl will always be insecure just for you breathing lol
Thank you so much Wenzes❣🙏🏻This is spot on and really sad but so very true...,feels even worse when it includes your own family! Stay true to yourself everybody, and never allow anybody to dim your light❣🌟🦋🌹
Good :):): stay you. I love happiness too.
7:07 the stare! I always wish to experience what it's like to be around my own type, get the stare, etc
I wish I seen this video a year or two ago. For whatever reason I always believed that if I persist in ignoring disrespect and continue being kind to my friends they can change their behavior. Now I see how silly this idea is. 11:20 Never helped. I confirm.
Some people can change but it's very very few. If they are really moral and and they decide that they love someone and messed up and diddint understand them or boundaries and apologizes then they will change. Don't count on it though the vast majority can't change that much.
Some people can chsngr but it's very very few. If they are really moral and and they decide that they love someone and messed up and diddint understand them or boundaries and apologizes then they will change. Don't count on it though the vast majority can't change that much.
Some people can chsngr but it's very very few. If they are really moral and and they decide that they love someone and messed up and diddint understand them or boundaries and apologizes then they will change. Don't count on it though the vast majority can't change that much.
@@braxtonmills1235 I agree. No matter how much I believed in them, encouraged and supported them they were not interested in growth and self-development. I wasted so much energy trying to invest in others. It was unhealthy even though it felt like i was doing something noble and kind. I was talking to walls (and deep down knew it) the walls that don't want to put any effort to help themselves.
@@ToonRa-u2u What a beautiful way of putting it. Thank you for this inspiration. Thank you for the sacrifice of learning because I value this knowledge.
I’ve dealt with bullying from a neighbour for 3 years. It’s covert, so management have said they can’t do much. They are aware and have tried to evict multiple times for other reasons (long story). I told her from the beginning, it will not work out well for her. However, she has continued. The worst part is waking me up in the middle of the night.
Multiple people have turned on her, when they realise she’s the one with the problem. She is finally realising that if she wants to keep her new boyfriend, she needs to shut it.
They say hurt people hurt people but I disagree. Plenty of people deal with major trauma, without projecting it onto those who are in no way responsible for their problems. Also, these people know what they’re doing and do it anyway, just because they can.
I also think they believe we’re stupid for not dealing with our trauma by becoming abusive ourselves. That’s how they justify their behaviour.
It's ok when you can deal with it, like just ignore it.
It's harder when it's your narcissist boss. Told it straight to my face, and never stopped bugging me with nonsense til I quit.
Best experience of my life all things considered, made me realize lots of stuff that put me on the path of INFJ greatness.
Life is really good now, having made the few ajustments required 😉
Same here. Malignant narcissistic boss. The more I do for her the worst she got towards as if even chopping myself up and offering me on a plate would still no enough. Saw it after 3 months - I left . Door slam they scrambled when I Did as they’d never thought I would leave.
Unfortunately I feel like a lot of people are envious and jealous of me. It’s surprising that many of these people are older relatives twice my age which is weird. They screwed up when they were young and they feel jealous about my accomplishments . They think I have been living a privileged and easy life when in reality it has been stressful and challenging at times. I just prefer to live a quiet life and they are just jealous of that.
This happens to me all the time. I am me and sometimes people don’t receive me well. It hurts bc I start questioning everything that I do. Can’t help but wonder what u did. I have and I am still learning some people just can’t handle me. I am not changing or being a chameleon anymore. Take me or leave me and I’m starting to be ok with it. I am me and I deserve to be authenticity me. ❤
Ahh! Yes! The truth is most people cannot be genuinely themselves and here we are walking without a care in the world. Because we don’t focus on superficial things like most people do! Keep on being you!❤
@@Treekneeeet you too
Wenzes , you are glowing ! The lighting is amazing but I swear you are aging backwards too!
She is very beautiful. She has not aged I always think she's 26. I'm working on looking youthful too lol.
Hit the nail in the head. I had this exact experience 2 weeks ago and now I knew I'm doing it right. Thank you Wenzes.
After blocking my INTJ interest due to hurtful brutal honesty, he learned to become much more sensitive to my feelings. Each time I blocked him we went up to a year without any communication; yet now we have a wonderful relationship and my boundaries are honored, as I honor his by thinking more carefully before I speak. I tend to change my mind constantly when I am thinking out loud, and this behavior of mine was driving him crazy. You should see us now. We are the best of friends now. He is 67 and I am 58, and have yet to have a romantic relationship. But I know he loves me, and he knows I love him. We are in one another’s inner circle now due to the boundaries I created as an INFJ who now doesn’t take s!$&, nor dishes it out. Thank you for your wonderful videos. I’ve been following you since you began, or close, about ten or so years ago. Keep it up! I’m so proud of you, me and all your listeners who are growing to thrive in an epic INFJ life! I love you Wenzes!
With the INTJ it's just about loving them and understanding them. It will be much easier to understand them then them us. But that's okay they have admirable traits and they have a heart underneath.
It’s weird but it’s totally true.
Well described.
I don’t know how all of you do it cope with it. It’s always bothered me and I could never understand why as much as I change myself I still never fit into everyone else’s mold.
It wasn't meant for you to fit into a mold, why do you want to fit a mold? You are you, embrace yourself.
I just got out of a narcissistic abuse situation at work because I was ignoring it was happening. Very unhealthy would not recommend.
Overall: -3/100
But what are you suppose to do ? Confrontation ? Nothing you do or say will make them feel better
You got out or you got away ?
Confront retreat.
@@bamgold4677 ?
@@bamgold4677 Confront and then retreat ??
Yay Wenz is doing good.
I guess this is why I kind of admired Muhammad Ali. He let others deal with envy and didn't give in to it.
I know this is unrelated question to the video, but I was wondering something as an INFJ. I think I'm considered an HSP (highly sensitive person) What came first? (the chicken or the egg) Am I sensitive because I'm an INFJ or am I an INFJ because I'm sensitive? I've struggled with my sensitivity my whole life, and while I've found ways to manage it. I still suffer the 'weight of the world' at times. I cry at the state of the world and the senseless often confounding ways people hurt each other and the planet we call home. Thank you to anyone that takes the time to read this or respond. Sometimes its just good to get out my thoughts
You are deep smart and also unique. You have empathy can read the room and have high intelligence. Chemicals in your brain were developed during birth that made you this way.
I had this friend who I would sense had a lot going on in their mind when we were in each other's company. Like a kind of admiration, and she would compliment me a lot. But there are times when I would read a bad look on her face, like a scowl but figured I was misinterpreting. When I met her friends once, they seemed to be sneering like they didn't like me. Later on, she and her friends did something that suggested they didn't want me in their company and I realized the friend probably had some hidden envy in her. I just found it weird, the odd compliments she always gave me. We are not friends anymore after the incident and it took my INFJ best friend to make me see she was horrible to me in that one instance. That it was not a misunderstanding. Because yes, I was justifying it!
This is soooo accurate!!
on point ❤❤
People lie about you shamelessly is crazy
The truth always comes out in the end. That’s what I’ve found, anyway
@@marmadukescarlet7791 Not always like, for instance, when people use defamation to harm you.
Jesus Christ of Nazareth gave me His personality.
Praise the Lord.
Stood up for myself. The companies’ solution, go work double as far as agreed in the contract. Result, no income, I without a job ‘in choice’ so no unemployment. I worked full time for 33 years. I’m never signing a contract again. When I do, it’s 53 percent taxes anyway. ( yes, Ukraine people need money, Africans aswel, those who never work too, when born here, you only pay, pay, pay. I’ve had enough. )
I want to say Thank you. I wrote you a message about me in one of your older videos from a year ago and was hoping you would get it but you probably won’t. Anyway THANK YOU for opening my eyes to realize I wasn’t crazy all my life I just didn’t know anything about me and why I beat to this drum that I do.
thank you
I'm scared of being angry most of the times, is to much to be bad if you wanna be the good one so badly .😅
I get a lot of karaoke operators discriminating. I had one constantly calling me up before anyone came in then again when the crowd thinned out again. One night the mainstream crowd came in i put my request in i got snubbed. I put in another one. Snubbed again. 3rd one. Then 2 young girls went over and bitched the guy out. He accused them of working for me which i didnt even know they were there. They could tell he was deliberately discriminating.
Wenzes: Why do I get INFP-A or INFP-T every time I take the test. I know deep in my soul and I'm sure I'm an INFJ. I act just like every single INFJ video, I don't act like an INFP. It still does bother me that I get INFP, because I have a bit of a perfectionism problem. Off topic I know, appreciate your videos ❤
the tests are super inacurate. My best friend is an INFP and she can't resonate with my videos at all...so that should be your sign ;)
@@Wenzessome girl in freshman year wanted me to take the test... was offended I got infj twice
@@patrickglaser1560lolol that's so funny the reasons ppl get envious, I swear it's those who don't have Fe in their conscious stack
@@WenzesThank you so much ❤
@@patrickglaser1560don't you think it's weird that people aren't happy just being themselves. Being an INFJ is more rare, but to be honest people should be more worried about correctly identifying their personalities. That way, they can be the best versions of themselves. I think it's weird to want to pretend to be someone you're not. I don't like fake people. Once someone shows me they are fake, I dip out quietly. The great fade is what I call it, I slowly give less of myself and my warm energy disappears. I don't like toxic people. I have high moral standards and I realize a lot of other people don't. I trigger people all the time, just saying what I feel. My thinking is very different from most people and with the help I've received here; I finally feel comfortable just being me. I've always noticed people do get envious of me, but they get really mean and bullied me for it. I won't dim my light anymore.
I really work hard to engage myself in someway of earning more income. My family are happy once again and can now afford anything for my family even with my Retirement.$67k weekly returns has been life changing, after so much struggles.
Hello how do you make such weekly??
I'm a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down of myself because of low finance but I still believe in God.
@@babytruca02Maria Angelina Alexander I really appreciate her efforts and transparency.
I remember giving her my first savings $20000 and she opened a brokerage account for me it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
I've been hearing lots of good things, and her trading strategies and programs are great!❤
I heard a CNBC news host spoke highly big about this name and her strategies, how she has been helpful to many people. Been trying to reach her since.
Don't share your negative emotions with with a pregnant manager. If you have something to say to me, don't go to her.
🔥🔥🔥💪
Yeah,you look like my mom..
No Freudian stuff tho..
I always wanted a girlfriend with wide mouth 😍
So needed this. Thank you so much.🫧
I love Wenzes. I'm not envious I'm proud of her. She's amazing. She was a 100k INFJ very young and worked her way up the corporate latter. I really like her alot. Envious people usually are ESTJ and ESTP.