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I'm a Malaysian who migrated to the United States in 2016. The first location I settled down in the U.S. was Houston, TX. I had the same feeling that making friends was difficult. I'm a runner, so I decided to attend social running groups and that's how I started making new local friends. I moved to Utah in 2019, I met my wife here, she's from the state of Mississippi. We find that making friends with local Utah-ians isn't easy either, then I started joining local running groups and I ended up making a lot of new local friends again. I came to the conclusion that you don't force yourself to make new friends, you just have to do what you enjoy doing, be yourself, and friends will come later. If you keep being concerned about making friends and wondering if there's something wrong with yourself, you will end up having anxiety.
I totally agree. As adults you realise that making friends comes gradually, you must exercise patience; there is a lot to look out for as well, values, character, attitude, perspective to life etc.
But, are they really your friends, or just temporary acquaintances? They may be using you for a while, as Americans are rugged individualists who have the "frontier mentality" and therefore not friendly people as in other nations.
Although I have never lived outside of Australia, I have lived in multiple locations within the country. My method of making friends, was to throw a "welcome to the area" party and invite all of my immediate neighbours. Each time, I was shocked at how many of them did not know one another, despite being long term neighbours.
That's excellent. I bet you have met some good friends over the years doing that. Sydneysiders should do that! That city is the most unfriendly place if you don't know anyone. Melbourne is definitely different. I may come back and retire to Tasmania in a few years.
neighbours suck, we work to hard. we need to avoid them so we can watch the last 30 minutes of the bbl and get ready for sleep. people that come might underestimate the amount of work we do.
I'm from India, living in Perth, married to an Aussie. Perth people are , friendly and it's clean too. I went to Kolkata last year after 8 yrs, for a month holiday. I started to miss Australia.
I'm planning to apply for PR. How easy is it to get a PR for a 43 yrs old engineer with 20 yrs experience. I m quite confused about whether to apply or not. Pls guide
I'm an Aussie, and I think you're right about friendships. It's hard for ppl who grew up here too, especially if you move interstate a few times like I did. It definitely requires effort and patience.
I think that is a universal fact - when you are an adult, it is more difficult to make friends when you move. You need to be involved in something other than just daily living to connect with others and make friends. I'm American and moved to be with my now husband...new state, very rural from a city I was born in. You need work or a hobby to get to have the chance to make friends.
I found it much easier to make friends in Sydney than in Melbourne. When I first moved here 20+ years ago it was to Melbourne first, everyone I worked with already had their friend group from high school and weren’t very welcoming. When I moved to Sydney there were a lot more interstate and immigrant colleagues so were more interested in making new friends. My experience only!
I think it’s because we tend to move much less than say Americans who think nothing of moving interstate to go to college and then when you get a job. Here most people live in one of two cities which contain most of the educational and occupational requirements. That leads to people keeping the same circle of friends throughout their lives, even from high school. That means very little motivation to make new friends which can appear clichey. If you’re American, you first have to break through our stereotypical views on Americans.
As a local I also found it difficult to make friends at University. After my first year I think I had made one real friend. It wasn’t until I lived on campus that things got a lot easier and social.
I'm also a local and I found it hard to make friends too. It was only because an international student that I worked with in a group project brought me into their friend circle that I got to make friends with more ppl. 😅
There may be in Australia more acceptance of life's pleasures than here in the United States: This is still a Puritan society. Whereas I have read that Australians are far less religious than Americans or even Canadians.
@@RicardoMartinez-oh9sqAmericans are way less religious now. And as you’ve seen, Australia is similar to the us in making friends. But there is a lot of them that have international friends. However it’s hard as an adult to make friends. Unless you leave the Babylon system and go somewhere like the rainbow family gathering to really make some awesome friends.
Making new friends is actually difficult for everyone, especially in terms of different age groups. Sometimes, loneliness is someone’ carnival, or carnival is someone’s loneliness, it really depends especially for maturers. It is truely a relief if someone looks at things from another perspective.
We moved from Ireland to Perth about 8 years ago. I'm Indonesian and I found friends immediately. It took a while for my husband because we got different personalities interm of friendship. Most of my local friends are mostly lived abroad before so we got something in common. When I lived in Ireland it was so difficult for me to make a friend. Because I'm Asian they assumed me with a lot of weird things which I finally gave up looking for a local friend. And in Ireland they have tight needs group. For instance my husband's friends mostly developed during university, so I'm always outsider. Since Perth it's so close to Bali the local are not strangers to Indonesian or Asian. I think it depends where you live in Australia. I'm definitely happy here in Perth.
Yes I agree to some extent. I'm an Australian, I've always lived in Sydney. I feel that there are two worlds. The temporary traveller / student / backpacker world and at the same time the australian word. I'm in the middle of these, because my partner is brazilian. I feel the 'coldness' or 'being closed' might be because in these big cities, everyone is so transient. even people from Sydney are always moving, always coming and going, you feel that everything is temporary. It might be because you always meet foreigners, every day, so it's hard to invest in friendships when maybe subconsciously you know that they might not be around
Very good insight, I tend to agree about the sense that community life, if it even exists, is fleeting or uncerain - it totally makes sense, and it probably feel the same way as a local. Perth, despite its neatness and outer beauty, feels a bit soulless to me because of this, and other factors. It's like it's some international city that people only come to because of economic reasons, as if that's the only identity of the place, which ends up feeling quite shallow. And looking up at the austere angular glass office buildings dominating the whole CBD reflects that
Ugh really? I’m contemplating moving here and I want a core group of friends, not just people touring around and leaving..I hate how the world is set up this way
@@FeedThemCakethat sounds just like the United States. Except foreigners that immigrate here aren’t so friendly per say. And people tend to stick to their cultures. I’m considering a working holiday visa and I met some nice aussies but now I’m considering not to go there anymore. It would be nice to meet other foreigners and aussies And there is mixed conclusions like some people have said that Sydney is a nice area so I guess I’ll have to maybe see for myself
A balanced review, and excellent video. I definitely agree - and I have lived in Australia all my life. Your comments on friendships, cost of living and suburban lifestyle are very accurate. It takes Australians a while to warm up to people on a genuine friendship level. I have worked overseas (short assignments only), and I don't think Australians understand how lucky we are. It's a wonderful country.
As an American who moved to Australia to do a PhD at UNSW, I also found it difficult to make friends with Australians. This was not the case when I did my undergrad in the US where it was very easy to make friends, both international and Americans. I think the biggest reasons for this is that the Australian and American university systems are very different. In Australia, most Australians attend a university located in the city where they have grown, e.g., so if they are from Sydney then it would be one of the Sydney universities like UNSW, Sydney Uni, Macquarie, etc., in Melbourne that would be Melbourne Uni, Swinburne, etc. Since Australians attend one of the local universities, often times the Australian students will live at home instead of on campus or live with friends off campus and therefore be surrounded by their friend networks. In the US, the situation is very different. Most US students move away from home to attend a university/college which is usually not located in their home town. This means US students are not around their friend networks and must make new friends while attending college. Also US universities have far more social events than Australian universities, such as sporting events to attend (i.e., college sports), many different clubs and social groups, fraternities and sororities, etc. Additionally, there is only a single orientation week for both domestic and international students (this is something I wish Australian universities would do). I found it way easier to make friends when I attended college in the US than during my PhD in Australia where most of my friends were international students and not locals. The situation could change in Australia if perspective university students are encouraged to attend a university not located in the city they grew up in. In saying all this, I do like Australia and I now consider this to be my home. And as you have said, making friends takes effort and patience.
Talking about Uni in Australia, did you really find it worth the money. I just think the universities and professors here are full of sh*t... the fees are very very expensive but it doesn't give you the same level of teaching..
People stick to the state they did high school in because of the ranking system used to get into uni, which differs from state to state. To get into an interstate university you would have to take two sets of high school exams
I'm sorry that you felt so alone when you were at uni. And, yes, the universities need to review the policy of segregating local and overseas students. And may I compliment you on your English. You speak English very well. My daughter and I are learning Spanish together using Duolingo. This is now day 147 of my Spanish journey, and it's a slow journey! I'm always impressed when I hear someone, for whom English is a second language, speaking such lovely, colloquial English. And I'm glad that you've grown to love living here. Australia is a wonderful place to live.
Gracias por el mensaje! Learning a second language is definitely a challenge, so congrats to you both for getting started with that! And thanks again for such lovely comment. Wishing you all the best :)
Its true that there are entire classes consist of chinese or indian and asian students with no locals in sight.....it makes me feel international students are handled like cattle.
Moved to Sydney from Adelaide for my husband's work. One of the most isolating experiences. It is so hard to break into some resemblance of community. I have got use to my own company now after 9 years. My husband's friendship are from work. I think in Australia in the big cities, you have to be a part of something to connect.
I loved Adelaide and SA. But it's like trying to join a secret society! Unless you came from the 'right' family or went to the 'right' school it's hard to break into the social life and to do business. It's a bit of a club to be honest. But the weather, Gouger Street and the Central Market, the arts scene and proximity to the Airport made up for it. Sydney is a way of life, not a place to live, great to visit.
I’m an Australian who was born here. I’ve lived in all cities except Adelaide. In terms of friendliness and friendships - Sydney is the hardest. Not only the most expensive city but the hardest to gain friends. Melbourne is probably the friendliest place in Australia. Good luck to all with your future plans. Overall Australia is a nice place to live.
I sincerely hope this is a joke. Melbournians would run you over with their car to avoid missing a red light. The most aggressive, selfish people in the country.
You were very polite. I was born in Uruguay but raised in Australia from a very young age so Australia was all I knew until I travelled the world. When I first went to Argentina & Uruguay for holidays as an adult it was like a whole new world opened up. I made many friends & everyone is so welcoming & warm very quickly. Australians are very nice & generally polite but there is no warmth & you are kept at a distance. If you are an adult single male with no children and don't drink alcohol Australia is very difficult to make friends. I've spent nearly all of my life here so I tend to be distant myself now. Even your energy through the video I felt like I wanted to be your friend. It's hard to explain but there is a different energy with people from South America and Australians. I'm not meaning to criticize Australians but rather just point out differences. Australia also lacks culture, sure in the inner cities there is a little bit more but it doesn't compare to other parts of the world. Australia does have high wages but the cost of living is crazy high. Btw I do think Australia is a good place to live. As for wildlife, I see Kangaroos every day in my front yard and I saw a snake walking back from the beach today....seriously, but I live in a beautiful coastal suburb with nature all around, so yes Australia is beautiful. I think I have to go to Argentina and bring back a beautiful Argentinian girl to enjoy this paradise drinking Mate on the beach.
My best friend is a professional dancer and teacher from Cuba and is a naturalised Australian citizen. I highly recommend you to join an authentic Latin dance school as they attract a lot of people who love this culture. Moro’s school is Buena Vista Dance Academy in Sydney. There’s a wide range of nationalities and it’s a great way to make new friends and get healthy exercise. There are parties, workshops and weekend getaways. You can check out some student performances on TH-cam, also his own performances there. Just look up Airagdin Pavon More. There are similar schools (non-ballroom Latin) in most of the capital cities.
As a migrant who has lived in Australia more than 13 years and went to uni in Melbourne, I think your cons are just spot on. Making friends with locals is pretty tough and there are lots of reasons for it. I've found Aussies quite polite (for the most part) but they're quite reserved to someone they don't consider from the same culture or skin color. The popular sports like footy and cricket are quite unique to their culture. They take a lot of getting used to and tbh, even now I am not a fan of either of those sports. If you are an overseas student and want to have a shot at staying here permanently, your best bets are fields like IT and accounting. However, local students hardly study those professions, making it more of a challenge to make local friends at school. Or at least that was my personal experience. Perhaps the sparse population density (except the city centers) plays a part in the feeling of isolation and lonliness to people new to this country. On the other hand, the fact that Australia is very multicultural also doesn't help with integration. People from different ethnic backgrounds can just get on with life in their own bubbles. Melbourne's weather is not my cup of tea either but Sydney and Brisbane are not too bad. All in all, it is still a damn good country to live in. Finally, thanks for the very informative and interesting video.
I found the IT industry very difficult to have a steady job in, which is why I left to go to the USA. There is a reason why locals don't study it, like me they got BURNED.
@@darmou Interesting perspective. If a migrant like myself has held very steady IT jobs since I started working in 2013, I wonder what barriers or challenges to locals would be?
I think the skin colour thing is a misjudgement. Depending on where you’re from maybe some stereotypes are involved. Stereotypes are a natural human biological defence.
I moved from NZ, with no technical cultural difference, just as hard to befriend locals. So you end up making friends with other people from the home country, other states or other countries who speak English, until you have kids then you have a good excuse!
I also think that making friends is harder as an adult . I think it’s important to recognise that this is a world wide phenomenon and seems to be getting worse .I have found that in Australia , the further south you go the more formal people are . I grew up in Queensland where people were more spontaneous and open to a chat . Here inMelbourne it used to be more common when people weren’t preoccupied with their phones .in general though Victorians are a bit less spontaneous in dropping in in each other but if you can get up the courage and step out of your comfort zone you can make some wonderful friends . It just takes time and effort .
As an Aussie the thing about making friends is 100% factual. I grew up in a rural town and moved to the city as an adult and found it extremely difficult to make friends. For me the only way I did end up making any friends was like you through work. When it comes to groups at uni not socializing after classes are done this is also true and unfortunately I can admit I was guilty at this myself. I'm glad you call this place home, because genuinely speaking the positives outweigh the negatives but can understand your frustrations
One reason why foreign students find it hard to make friends with locals is because there are a LOT of foreign students who only have a student visa. To locals, foreign students often appear like long term tourists.
Back in year 2001, I found it quite difficult to make friends in Australia too as an international student. Classmates just go off straight after class and the only way to interact with them was if you're a drinker or a smoker, which I did neither. 😮💨 I made a few friends though that I still keep in touch till now.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It's not easy even for Australians. I've lived in several Australian cities and have been to three Universities, all as a mature aged student (I have 3 degrees). Although I made a small number of friends by the time the degree was finished, these friendships didn't extend beyond the campus and we've never had contact since graduating. I would have thought that an international student would easily make friends with other international students as the average across Australia is 24% of students are foreign. This is not evenly spread and in some Unis it is as high as 50%. However, I've travelled extensively and have lived overseas and my experience was the same - it's very hard to break into established social networks in any country.
you're 100% correct about making local friends, even for interstate people.. and imagine, that gets significantly more difficult if you're not white / european migrants.
Martina, this was a very, very good video, thank you! As an Aussie, I've always been fascinated about what Australian society looks and feels like to folk who come here from other countries, as I think it helps us to work out what we can continue to develop in our society. I feel that your analysis is absolutely spot on (and sure, once again that's coming from my subjective experience/perspective) - whilst Aussies are generally very friendly and polite, it can take a long while to get to truly, deeply know and befriend them (I'm not sure why, but I agree this is the case). Totally agree re the suburbs - I grew up in them, but prefer more vibrant, inner city areas full of people, cafes, shops and cultural events (and I completely accept not everyone is the same - many prefer the quietude of the suburbs, absolutely that's a wonderful thing to) - this explains why I enjoy visiting and staying in inner city suburbs (especially Fitzroy) for holidays - that place is remarkable. It was really interesting to hear your take on tertiary education - I completely agree, Australian universities are very, very good (at least from my experience) - I've had nothing but extraordinarily experiences in them. You'll be interested to know that my most enriching experiences were at university, mixing with both international students and Aussie students, in an international student organisation (the perfect harmony for me), so I agree 100% that joining groups, clubs, societies, etc is a FANTASTIC way to connect with folk who share your interests, and for me, it was all about multiculturalism, travel, and all that entailed - to this day, those folk are dear friends. Thanks again Martina for this important, respectful, friendly and insightful take on Australian society - it's people like your good self who make Australia an even better place to live, enriched my multiculturalism. Wishing you a happy, fun, safe and healthy life here, for as long as you choose to call Australia home! 😀
I have never been to Australia, but when I casually meet Australians here in the U.S. it feels to me that we "click" right away because Australia is not a Puritan nation.
I totally agree with everything you have said and I lived in Fitzroy (Melbourne) for 5 years. Lots of culture in the inner suburbs and wonderful things to see in the city. In the suburbs,it can get a little monotonous. Living in Point Cook is dreadfully boring compared to Fitzroy but it suits me at the moment. You were spot on with everything.
When you arrive In Sydney as a visitor or coming to live hear I suggest that you join a sporting club as a volunteer, Rugby league, Aussie rules footy, soccer act you will make friends straight away
I have been here 30 years, but I remember how "homesickness" was very hard. I was given advise from a older migrant: "It disappears after 2 years". This was true for me even though I thought it was something I would never get over. Just saying x
I emigrated from England in 1970 and didn't feel homesick until I actually went back there in 2004. If at that point they'd told me that it wasn't possible to return to Australia, I probably wouldn't have been that bothered other than being separated from family.
Even moving from one state to another it can take up to two years that was my experience and advise I give people who immigrate from another country … I was born and bred in Sydney and moved up to Brisbane for a better family life 25 years ago … no regrets… when I visit Sydney now days I much prefer Brisbane… 😁
homesickness is one of the factors why it's hard to live far away from your family .. and I'm planning to move to AU. I just want to ask what are things you did to get over homesickness?
A very balanced video. I am an Aussie who left Melbourne about 8 years ago to retire in sunny Asia. I enjoy going back to meet friends occasionally, but the the thought of going back to live in Melbourne’s suburbs again does not appeal at all. Australia is a good country to grow up in, get an education, save some money so that you can leave later in life and live in more interesting places.
I agree I’m retiring soon, Australian cost of living is out of control! I’m travelling in Japan currently, its good value in just about everything coffee not quite as good same price lol, Moving to Asia probably Thailand it’s hot but so much more chilled than Australia these days love it there but our beautiful Australia has changed….
I’m an Aussie and agree about making friends at uni. I literally made like one! Luckily I had friends from school and family here but people just kept to themselves. It was lonely even as a local which is sad. I do think because there is so many tourists and backpackers here that I’ve met over the years, you tend to have fun with them but not grow super close because they leave inevitably. It happened 3 times to me, so then I just sort of didn’t make much effort (guilty) to people that were traveling here for study or work..or just here for a short time (didn’t know what their plans were). Especially as you get older, you just don’t have the energy or time to invest unless it’s at work or they are part of your social circle.
Great video. Making close friends in Australia is hard. Traditionally, Australians have socialised through being part of common activities through sports clubs, hobby groups, cultural associations, churchs.etc. Whilst this is changing slowly as the population diversifies and our City's offer more variety of areas that encourage natural social interaction.
as an australian in university its really hard to make friends mainly because most people commute to university so when the tutorial finishes they leave instantly so they can go home. Also australians have very bad social skills and can only socialise when they drink it seems.
It was super hard for me as a born and bred Australian to make friends at Uni too ❤️ I went to Uni after most of my peers and to a different campus, and I found it incredibly difficult to break into any of those established social circles that you mentioned - I got along better with mature aged or international students! You'll also find that city culture is also quite different to country or rural culture. Living rurally, stopping and chatting anywhere and everywhere is MUCH more common. We know almost all of our neighbours, we wave at people as we drive by, we stop and chat at the supermarket or the bakery. In the city, this is just not a way of life that is quite as common. Clubs and groups are definitely the way to go for making good friends as adults!
I agree a great country. I'm originally from the UK and I would say 98% of people in the UK go to University in a different city to where their parents live. All students spend at least their first year living in college or student accommodation on campus. My experience in Australia is that 98% of locals still live at home while at University so it's a completely different experience for locals.
Great video! I’m American-Australian and have been in Australia (Gold Coast) for 9 years. My experiences have been similar to yours. Glad to have such a beautiful Latin presence in this country.
Lol 😂 listen here American friend… you’re American. Not American Australian 😂 remember this yeah, you’re borrowing Australia till you give up your citizenship. If you have been here for 9 years, you will understand this ♥️😃
Coming from Germany in 2019 I was never in doubt that Australia is one of, if not the best country to live in. I would never go back to Europe where everything is a mess now. I could easily build a my new life in Down Under Making new friends was super easy for me as most Aussies are just very inviting. Life is a lot easier and the laid back live style and the general way of life is the reason why so many people want to come to Australia - I'm very grateful to live here.
My son moved to London last year from Australia and has found it really hard to make friends. I told him to start inviting work colleagues out for drinks or weekend activities because in London most people are really from somewhere else. It is beginning to work but taking time. I came to Australia from London and intentionally moved into a share house despite being older than the typical age for that. It helped. I also joined a sport team and club and that's where I really made friends.
I moved to Australia +7 months ago and what you shared on your video is 100% matching with my personal experience, especially making friends and getting into a relationship. Its hard, especially after covid and it takes time. However the country & people are awesome.
Thanks for this review Tini. In my university in Queensland, they still make this division between International Students and locals. I think it's a mistake as in some ways, isolates international students. Orientation week is ok because you receive information that locals might know already but then if you have other activities like "International cafe" or "international lunch", that just stresses out a difference that I don't think helps international students.
As an American temporarily living in Australia, I 100% agree with how difficult it is to make friends. Speaking to strangers here seems to be looked down on. In America I can comment on anything in public and talk to a random person no problem but in Australia that's not the case at all. Everyone here seems so antisocial and rude. I'll be glad to leave this country
I'm sorry to hear about your experience and can 100% confirm. I'm a native but also autistic and I've never had friends until now (in my 47th year). Many such cases. I believe the Scandinavian countries are the same.
I'm Canadian/American born in Toronto, live in Los Angeles. Americans are by far the nicest people on earth. I'm retired now and believe me there is nothing on the planet that compares to driving around this incredible country and having great conversations with perfect strangers. I can be sitting in a restaurant talking with a stranger, and when time to pay the bill, the cashier/server has told me that person who just left, the one you were talking to, paid your check. That has happened to me more than once, only in America.
Very interesting video. As someone who grew up in Sydney I would never have believed that it was hard to make friends here. Then I moved overseas for 12 years England/Europe and when I came back most of my friends had moved on, family, kids etc. so I really tried to make new friends, and boy was that tough!!! Sometimes it felt almost like dating, lots of rejection. But I did do many of the things you mention i.e. team sports, meet ups, exercise groups etc. and slowly met lots of people and made some close friends. Now, my old friends kids are older, they all want to hang out more, so I am doubly busy!!! :)
I'm from SG and had a vacation in Sydney and made lots of friends then went back to SG. A year after went again for a short trip but my old friends there didn't recognize me anymore. So, when I make new friends it's kinda hard than the first time I did it.😅 But I'm still planning to move to Sydney because the place is great!
Im Aussie, raised in the suburbs and i agree with you about how hard it is to make friends. I am 38, most of my friends i have known since we were 5 years old (which i am grateful for, i love them like sisters). I met some friends at uni but because Sydney is a huge sprawling city (i live in the south east of the city, to get to the north west it would take over an hour to drive there) i did not live close to any of them and while we enjoyed our friendships during uni they did not last afterwards. I have made one good friend outside of work since my school days and she the mother of my daughter’s best friend, without our daughters being friends we probably would not have ever spoken to each other.
I definitely felt the same as you while in uni here! Despite my efforts to join in clubs with local students, it felt kind of remote, later I figured out I was in a group mostly for undergrad students and they already shared similarities in growing up (e.g. went to the same high school, etc.) while I was a graduate student. So I ended up making mostly international students but they were very nice and we became good friends! ❤ It was not until I started to work to make more local friends. So you’re right. Maybe upbringings, maybe we were adults, maybe it’s the Australian lifestyle. ^^ but anyway, I’m glad you raised this issue up and hopefully future international students could feel more welcomed and included in the fun here! 😊
I find your video truthful and balanced. I live in Melbourne too. But I find the weather terrible My opinion on life in Australia (I'm Australian born here) Australia is like hospital food. It has nutrients but lacks flavor. I have lived for years in Greece, Mexico, Brazil, Thailand. The standard of living is not like Australia. But life in these countries is joyful. In Australia, joy is like a suitcase that is hard to fill..
That’s a very interesting point of view. What do you think is the reason for the difference in joyfulness? I feel like Aus is a much less intense place (than Euro cities for example) because there are fewer people and everything is more spread out. As an introvert I quite like that but it’s not to everyone’s taste.
I'm Thai who lives in Melbourne for a while. I would say Thailand is very fun to visit so it's probably suitable for extroverts or partygoers. I find the standard of living is significantly lower than in Australia. This is because the fact that Thailand is a developing country, people pay much less taxes than in Australia, and the government is so corrupt. So I think Australian are very lucky. Although the cost of living is pretty expensive, I do still think if you work hard in Australia, you will get what you earn, and would still have a good life.
I find your description quite on point. I find this country lacks culture and the sense of community that other countries have in bucket loads. Yes it is multicultural nation but many people stuck to their own people and do not assimilate.
There should be an organisation that facilitates a ‘meet an Aussie local’ gathering/party ! Plenty of people love an excuse to meet new people but unless you’ve experienced being new and a migrant, you just never think about it. Having lived here forever, I’d never contemplated what it’s like for you guys. - but yes we do meet in workplaces- but there’s probably a business idea in facilitating big meet ups for newbies. Big good onya for getting here and breaking in. Hope you’re thriving and sorry it was difficult. I apologise for the rest of us!
Thank you for this! Everything you’ve mentioned is exactly how I’m feeling. I’ve been living in Australia for 4 years now and still haven’t made any friends. It’s definitely one of the hardest things for me as I come from South Africa where we’re basically friends with everyone.
Great and detailed video. I am an australian but went to University later after working for a few years. So all my school friends had completed or almost finished their degrees. I found it very lonely too and wasn't prepared for that at all. Orientation activitiies were not that great. Joining clubs etc is a good idea though no guarantee of making friends. The problem with class mates and socialising was they all had part time jobs or put all their classes into the a few days so had little free time for coffee etc. Happily i had friends outside Uni so I survived !!
Definitely right about how hard making friends can be. I think our laid back nature means there isn't enough of a community effort to bring new people into social groups. We need more social events/groups in our communities. As for a centralised city, Sydney is one exception. Melbourne is very centralised and this is reflected in the fact its city skyline is bigger than Sydney despite Sydney having a bigger population. Sydney has a lot of small cities inside. Parramatta and Chatswood both have big skylines and urban living.
I don't think it's laidback, Australian's aren't openly socially expressive, it's more cerebral. Changes depending on the area and state where you live of course, huge differences between the states. Overall though many Aussie's work is quite simple, get a job, get a family, hibernate in their home
With friendships with locals at universities, I think it’s impacted by history of international students in Australia. When the universities started international students reprograms, there was less effort on the entry requirements and they didn’t have separate classes. This meant that a number of international students were struggling and relying on local students to fill the gaps. It led to resentment as some international students were perceived as trying to get local students to do their work. Now programs are developed for international students so they get the support they need, but this cuts off the social access to local students. I think a peer support program that would have local student volunteer to be a peer support, which will be a way to create social networks
Thanks for your videos, having been born and bred here, I find it fascinating to hear about my country from a different perspective. I think that you are a little too polite about the cons but appreciate your positive attitude. Wanted to comment on making friends, my daughter-in-law emigrated from Canada which you would think would have been easier for her, being a similar culture profile. She also said it was difficult making friends and I think it’s because Australian’s are more conservative than you’d expect, given that we’re quite casual and chatty. Even moving towns can be difficult for many. Once Aussie’s make friends they generally stick for life but not many people I know have big circles of friends unless they are heavily involved in sports clubs and charities, etc.. And, as a nation, we are definitely far too car obsessed! I also think that we use politeness as a bit of a crutch. Sorry about that last comment 😂 Thanks, cheers, excuse me, beg your pardon please.....
Thank you so much for this comment and your insights. In relation to the friendships, yes, it's so interesting - I have friends from the UK who've experienced the same struggles - something that surprised me considering the similarities in cultural profiles as you said. It's such a fascinating topic and clearly driven by so many factors - such as culture and/or just age (adulthood etc). And yes, something that helps a lot to expand those social networks (both internationals and locals) is joining sports clubs such as rock climbing, footy, etc. or working (e.g. in an office etc) - any setting where you get to spend time together or share common interests helps greatly. Thank you so much for this again, really appreciate it (big fan of your politeness!).
I’m an Aussie and your analysis is very accurate 😊 my husband and I have moved around a lot within Australia and it’s been challenging every move to meet people and make new friends. It was interesting when you spoke about inner city living and suburbia, the shopping etc is very lacking and yes it’s a given, we are a vast country and you need a car to drive everywhere 😂.. lovely to meet you sista from your country cousin! ❤😂 regional Victoria
What part of regional Victoria are you from? I'm planning to move into the regional Victoria too... Appreciate if you could share your honest opinion on which parts of regional Victoria are the best.
I agree about the social culture norms for meeting new people and making new friends. I was born in the US but lived for 16 years in Israel. Israelis are VERY social and curious. I have heard from many other Israelis who have moved here that they get frustrated by this, like not socialising as much with coworkers you like, etc. The only reason it didn't bother me so much in my uni experience when I moved to Aus is because I moved with my partner, who is originally Australian and from the city we live in, and we are reasonably involved with our Jewish community, so I have had other opportunities to meet locals. Having said that, it's very different trying to make friends as an adult and I am still struggling, but I think that aspect is pretty universal.
Estoy TAN impresionado, wao!! Notaba que no eras nativa hablando ingles, pero pense "ah de seguro será de Gales", cuando dijiste que era de Argentina me quede con la boca ABIERTA!! Que bonito tu ingles y tu pronunciacion. Muchisimas gracias por aportar tanto valor y todo lo necesario que uno usualmente quiere saber cuando emigra de pais.
One major issue for me is the heating system in Australian houses. It is very bad comparing to Europe and you can feel it especially in Melbourne where the weather can be extremely cold
I've mostly lived in apartments here so didn't have to deal with that much. But my first shared house was an old victorian house, and yes, the heating wasn't great. But I guess it depends on the type of house, how new it is, and overall built quality. Some of them are really good, and they've been updating the construction code for everything related to energy efficiency in new builds, so hopefully that fixes some of these issues. Thanks for your comment!
Yup the building standards in Australia are very low and they tend to build homes that combat Australian heat, without consideration of the cold. Despite the fact it gets VERY cold the more south you go.
I've lived in Australia a long time but I also spent 10 years in Europe. Making friends depended on whether you are a social animal, as my former wife was, or a person happy to entertain yourself & living in a block of flats we did have social interaction, mainly because of kids playing with each other. I lived in Toowoomba in Queensland for 22 years yet found it hard to break into the social circles that depended on who you knew & who you went to school with. Other than one or two 'mates' & a great neighbour there was little else socially. I have since relocated to Tasmania, just outside of Launceston, yet the story is still the same. I talk to the neighbours occasionally but that's as far as it has gone & I have now got used to that way of life & have learned to be happy with it. Come on down & visit Tasmania. The scenery is excellent, the air is clean & geologically it really isn't part of the mainland.
Also, most of us are online these days and make friends with strangers in various groups. I have more friends online that I do here because we have more in common. As I have moved countries in the past I feel more connected to people like me no matter where they are physically based. FB, TH-cam Instagram Pinterest are great for adults who know how to avoid scams.
I love your videos and your accent, I live in Qatar but I hope to move to Australia in the future .. and during the world cup 2022 in Qatar,Argentinian fans were the best and they were the heart of the competition.
Thanks for this video!! I’m moving out of the US to Australia here in a couple of months and I am so excited and appreciate both pros and cons and just an overall honest review !:)
Even moving within Australia, especially if it's from a smaller town to a big city, it's the same friends-wise. You generally don't know who your neighbors are even within a block of flats. Covid has helped with this a bit, because people started talking to each other where they live. If you went to university in a smaller town, it might be a fair bit easier.
I’m Brazilian and I lived in Australia for 2 years and really enjoyed it. I agree with what you’ve said. I hope to return in a few months. Congrats and thank for your video.
I have lived in different places in Australia for thirty years. I like it, because I don't have to get involved with people much. I can enjoy the nature and silitude. It lacks cultural stimulation, so I travel overseas a lot.
Thanks for sharing an excellent video. I have lived in Australia all of my life. Regarding making friends, it can really depend on which location that you are living or working in Australia. There are some areas and places that are easier to meet and make friends and others it can tend to be a bit more difficult. Workplaces can differ completely from one place to the next. Even being a local, I have found some places harder to get to know other people than others. Like you, I live in Melbourne and I have been here since 1981. Before that, I lived in Sydney, which in many ways, has a very different lifestyle to Melbourne. Each location here can tend to be quite unique, especially in the major cities. Anyway, wishing you the very best and i hope you continue to enjoy you stay here in Australia.
Ive lived here since i was 5 and Australians are a nice people but it is hard to make friends. Id even say Melbourne is more cliquey than my experience of Perth or Sydney. Eventually you get there but it can be lonely meeting people. Useful hack: new zealanders are awesome and often looking for connection
I also think a lot of Australians are lonely too. If you can find a good Christian church, there are often lots of good community activities that connect you. Often people forget about that. Be openminded.
Australia is awesome, but I do share your experience for university. It was more challenging to develop deeper friendship with local students unless you share the same cultural mindset and frequent partying / drinking, which as an international student we did not had the luxury for because home currency was weak and we needed to make sure to pass else waste the very expensive tuition fee which our parents paid for. It could also be due to I was in rural area, people are either very nice or have preconceived bias - it was my personal experience at least, and this was 15 years+ ago. In the city, it was much much better.
My brother his wife and kids emigrated to Perth in 2006. My sister in law and husband and kids did the same in 2011. They're very happy and grateful coming from an imploding state like South Africa.
I think the issue with locals and international students in Australia is compounded by the fact that most go to universities in the same city where they grew up, and as a result have the established social circles. Countries like the UK and USA are more likely to have students that have moved to another city to go to uni. This would contribute to making it difficult for migrants to establish relationships with locals.
I’m Australian and super lonely. I have tried to make friends. International folk is easier. But I’m aging out of hanging out with them. Single 50+ it’s depressing. I’m in the process of leaving
I'm a fifth generation Australian and my partner is Greek. There are definitely some major cultural differences in terms of family relations and making friends. The concept of family is totally different. Greeks and other cultures are close to family, seem to make friends everywhere, and are proactive in terms of keeping contact. I obviously don't speak for every Australian. But GENERALLY speaking our family relations can seem a bit more distant or detached in comparison, and this same vibe can apply to friendships. For example, I can go for weeks without speaking to my sister. But it doesn't matter and doesn't bother us. We catch up at major times - birthdays, Christmas etc. It may seem strange or wrong to some, but to me it is perfectly fine. It is probably something non-Australians need to be aware of. But overall, we do like to help others in our community, especially in times of crisis etc. By the way, the cost of living is increasing everywhere, not just Australia.
Interesting that it's difficult to make friends in Australia. There are some reasons for this i believe. The main one is it's a general societal change that has gotten worse in the last 50 years. I'm a middle-aged Australian and where i grew up in the suburbs, not only did the kids play with each other often, but the adult neighbours often knew each other and visited each other somewhat frequently. My parents, when young, often did this. However, now in any average suburban steet, few people know each other or even bother to visit their neighbours. Kids stay at home and look at screens after school; it's called social dislocation, social distancing and isolation. Australian society is rife with it. This is partially why living in Australia is shit.
Agree! I'm 53 now and when I was a child I often played with friends in the neigbourhood. I sometimes would ride my bicycle for 30 minutes to meet a friend. I often stayed over a friend's place overnight. My parents knew everyone along our street and invited people over for a barbecue. My next door neighbours were like family. I called them Uncle and Aunty even though were were not related. Different times back then. I had a wonderful childhood. A lot of great memories meeting so many people in my area.
Im in the U.S. and its the same situation here. Kids just dont play outside with all their friends like I used to. My daughter has to arrange play dates for her kids. I think there is a general isolationism overall.
I agree. I'm from Australia and my friends are from when I was young. I'm now nearly 80 and we are still friends although a long way apart. I lived in Canada for 25 years and made friends easily over there. I have no idea about why it's hard to make friends in Australia.
You can't argue with any of that, really. Australian born, those observations all make sense to me. Glad to hear you are glad you moved here. Cheers! (Tim from Adelaide)
your parents are getting old...But they have already lived their lives... this is your time!!, don´t worry about them, because for sure, they feel very proud of you!
Just came across this video now. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety over the past 2 and a half years. This video gave me some solace that other migrants are going through the same thing. I made a lot of good friends here my first year in Australia but I was a backpacker then and most of my good friends were all backpackers so by the time I got my PR they were all gone. I wish I had put more effort in making Australian friends. I recently visited my home country and I have a large group of friends and community there and it really hit home the importance of community.
I have worked in a university in Australia for 10 years and studied at 4 different universities here. It really does depend which one you go to as to the interactions, some universities are notoriously bad for international students to even interact with domestic students and I have heard so many stories like yours. Going to a smaller regional university will give a much better experience and more local interactions so I would encourage people to look into this if it is a big concern, also campuses that are in the city have less campus culture.
I live in australia and I personally think that making friends is as challenging as it is everywhere. I have moved schools 2 times and I had no issue making friends since the people here are so incredibly friendly
Muchas gracias por el video! Been thinking about moving down permanently to Australia for years ever since my first visit almost 10 years ago. Coming from Sweden, It basically feels like Sweden but with better weather and I've honestly not managed to find any country similar to Australia.
I’m Australian and have lived in Canada since 1956, married a Canadian nurse and came here because as an aeronautical engineer the aeronautical industry was much better. Had no trouble settling in here my Canadian wife was lovely. I’m sure if I had stayed in Australia I would have found a nice wife also. Being in another country is more a personal thing I think than evaluating all the pros and cons. As far as the pros and cons it could get down to weather. It can either be too Hot or too Cold and it’s easier to warm up than cool down. Probably a unique thing was that aeronautical people like each other and becoming friends was easy no matter where you coms from as shown by the many world meetings we used to have. I could have lived in just about any country as long as it had a good aircraft industry. One thing about Canada that’s a plus is that it’s a fabulous piece of land from south to north and east to west and have enjoyed many holidays all over, Its location very convenient in the world.
This is the first time I have seen your videos and I really enjoyed it but had 2 immediate thoughts. Firstly, the comment about making friendships rings very true, as somebody that has lived my whole life in Sydney but has Greek parents and spent lots of time in Greece over the years. One of the major differences I have seen is that the abundance of land we have in suburbs, which is something many people like, is also part of the reason it is so hard to make friends. Secondly, while the cost of living is high, this is directly linked to how good salaries are - if everybody is getting a good salary, it means the cost of living will also be higher. Having said that, I think if you are a potential student or immigrant that is not coming from a country with a high base salary, it is useful to know that the cost of living is expensive if you will be relying on savings to get you through a university degree etc. Well done on the video!
Regarding making friends. Universities often have a huge array of Clubs to join. Not just sports like football, but Dance, Computing/Linux, Mountain Climbing, Fencing (= sword-fighting). And if the club you want isn't on the list already, you can possibly get support from the Uni to set up a new club. In New Zealand many Universities have (snow) skiing clubs (Winter only) and bushwalking/hiking/tramping clubs. Remember also that a 1,700 km flight away at the closest, New Zealand, although a separate Nation, has a special relationship with Australia. Australian citizens can visit here, and have almost free access to our healthcare, and our universities. etc. Australian citizens are automatically permitted to become NZ Permanent Residents without needing any Visa. Previously many overseas migrants got entry to NZ firstly, and then some years later, as soon as their NZ citizenship and passports had come through, they would immediately move to Australia, using the reciprocal relationship between the two countries.
I’ve lived in 3 countries and can honestly say Perth is brilliant! Perfect climate , easy to make good friends & get ahead financially. Also brilliant public transport & healthcare. Life is what you make it !
You really did an excellent job of summing up the experience of being a migrant. I'm from the US but have been living and working in Japan for over 8 years myself. Despite Japan being a totally different country and culture, what you said is very applicable to my situation as well. I think the 3 reasons you listed for difficulties making friends are all true, and they effect people even living in their home countries. I think it's so important to research differences in culture and watch media and learn about the country and it's people's day to day life before visiting let alone moving to another country because it really helps a person to discover things that are going to be different and then mentally prepare for the difference or get ideas of how to do things differently. Even if a person does that though, there will always be things that are missed or not discovered until after going there. So I think it's important that people traveling and migrants try our bests to be kind to ourselves, and recognize that there will be struggles and misunderstandings, and to try to be patient with ourselves and others when that happens. Maybe it seems like basic or obvious advice, but over the years I've seen many people here in Japan struggle immensely with loneliness and cultural confusion and culture shock, or feeling rejected by their communities because of a lack of knowledge and being too quick to jump to assumptions or familiar ways of thinking without questioning if that way even made sense or seemed to be how anyone does things here. Which I don't think is anyone's fault, because we all learn to interpret things within our home countries and first languages, and that colors how we interpret the world forever after. It's also why going to a different country and learning it's language and culture helps people to think and experience the world differently which is beautiful and interesting. The point you made about how travel and migrating changes us, I think is so undeniably true. Even though I can't see distinct individual changes within myself, I know that I have been slowly changing and adapting to my home in Japan, and that also makes my home town feel less familiar and more strange. Not just because I've been away for while and things and people inevitably change, but because I have changed and so my perception and experience of those old familiar but unfamiliar things also change. Being a migrant is a very interesting and difficult position to be in, but also very rewarding because I get to experience so much personal growth, and so much learning.
Rosemary also a woman,I lived and worked in Japan for 5.years.It was a long time ago.I was inmediatly adopted by the local Japanese community,asked to marry by 3 different Jap guys... Reading the comments about how difficult is nowadays to make friends and having been to Oz several times a long time ago I can't help thinking it's the times we live on How do you like Japan? I used to like it at the beginning but when I learned the langage and observed how society worked I began to dislike them. That and the fact that you can never be alone,even in an isolated countryside Gambate kudasai
As far as socialising and friendships, I'm an older person and am saddened that it has changed from my younger days where anyone was welcomed to simply arrive at your home and get a meal and talking, without any sort of appointment, where strangers were invited in for a meal and chat. I hate that that part of my country has changed.
yes as a university student 95% of the class have extremely bad social skills and are just on their phone the whole time, the only time when australians are social is when there's drugs involved
I was Born and raised in Sydney (mixed Hispanic and African American). Moved to USA in early teens and found it was very easy to make friends , when moving back to Sydney now that I’m early 20s I found that you can feel very lonely yet in a city IF you don’t apply yourself..nobody comes up to you here in Sydney like they do in the USA to start convos, you MUST apply yourself and be more extroverted especially if you’re international… locals don’t really have a “desire” to learn about you being “international” unless you’re from USA…or maybe some European. THOUGH Usually you will almost always be friends with your coworkers, that’s a Australian quality in my opinion especially in city..
What interests me about Australia is the safety of life and the standard of living. Safety in living is the most important thing. Especially social media safety. If life safety standards are high, everything is possible for Australia. There is still room for growth in Australia.
I love your appreciation of our beautiful country. I'm a proud 5th generation Aussie. I've grown up in Sydney & lived here for 70 years. I've seen a lot of changes and my beautiful city is being over grown with high rise apartments. I had hoped that local development would not have ruined Sydney skylines as much as it has. Regardless, Sydney is still 'simply' beautiful.
Traveling to Brisbane and Perth here in 2 months to check them both out & activate my visa, moving to AUS next year, just trying to sort out which city I want to try. Looking forward to whatever path the future brings!
Im an Aussie, move to Brisbane, Perth is a very boring and a quiet city, many people I know say the same thing, its not a great party or clubbing city but if you like a quiet city then it would be good for you. Brisbane is that nice middle ground where its not too busy and crowded, you will feel like home here compared to Sydney and Melbourne, those 2 cities are like the New York of Australia. Also Brisbane is very close to the Gold Coast, it always feels like your going to a holiday on the drive down there, and its just a nice vibe to relax for the weekend and go to the beach etc and its only an hour drive, everyone's in a weekend vibe down there, awesome place. Both Sydney and Melbourne lack a place like the Gold Coast, its what makes Brisbane compete with those 2 cities
"Looking forward to whatever path the future brings". Ahh...you are making friends already....and you are not even here yet. I get the distinct impression from some of the comments ..."it's hard to make friends" ...that too often these types are looking for what these "friends" have to offer - how they will benefit. That is not - should not be - the way it works, loyalty being a two-way street. Friendships built up in a 3 hour bar session tend to last as long as the hangover. My tip: Brisbane. The weather is unbelievable year round. Indoors is for sleeping or for when it is raining so that is important.
@torres8988 you probably never been to Perth lol ...I was there recently. It was great and probably about the same as Brisbane as far as night life and restaurants etc ..both about the same size
@@Foden5354Which areas in Sydney are you talking about? There are plenty of beach strips in Sydney which would compare to the GC more then Melbourne. I'm not suggesting to move here but it sounds like you don't know Sydney and the state much?
If you have to drive outside of Brisbane to go to the beach then you are doing it wrong. Stay in Sydney's eastern suburbs and you have many beaches on your doorstep.
I loved listening to your presentation. You are a level headed woman, you gave an unbiased opinion about this country. I wish you Good luck with your life in Australia.
Australia is roughly the same size as mainland USA, which means weather can vary greatly across the country. e.g. In the USA, Miami has different weather to Boston or New York. Yes, our Melbourne weather is crazy but you learn to ignore it. If the wind is from a southerly direction, keep an umbrella handy! Basically, I advise friends from the USA to flip a map of Australia upside-down and use that to roughly compare Australian seasonal weather patterns with the USA. Miami weather is most like Brisbane weather. Boston or New York weather has more in common with Melbourne than, say, Brisbane. Perth is a bit like LA. Again, very rough rules of thumb for planning a trip, not trying to start a weather war...
As an Indian who migrated to Australia, and now living in Spain - the social aspect hits in your face when you first move to Oz. On the other hand making friends in spain has been a cakewalk even when my spanish was broken.
As an indian who is going to pursue masters ,seeing animals everywhere and too much population is overwhelming for me in my country and i am ok with isolation and having genuine 10 friends than going to make many friends
Completely agree! Throughout the years here in Australia I've made really good friends, and with time I learnt that quality is always more important than quantity! 100% And if you are able to make those friendships in settings where you share similar interests (in my case rock climbing for example) even better :)
I’m so impressed that you pointed out the suburbia problem, especially you are not Asian. This is a true cultural shock, people grownup in such environments think that’s how city should look like. And we thought that’s how “western world” look like. It turns out to be just the “new world” (US, CA, AU, NZ).
It's not for everyone. I love it, but its hard here at times. I can deal with being on my own, its especially hard for people who are a very long distance from home. It's much more difficult to fly to the UK, as opposed to Indonesia for example. It must be even harder in New Zealand, I imagine.
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Despite the cons, I still believe Australia is today the best country to live in. And if you do have the opportunity to come here, whether it is for a short visit, to study or permanently, do so! It's an amazing experience that will change your life indeed.
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Welcome to Australia, A huge country with so much to see and do. Kind regards Pete.
Thank you the amazing Video
Where r u from ?
From Mauritius 🇲🇺 ❤!I will travel to Australia 🇦🇺 soon...
Where are you from/???.......you purposely dont mention this.
I'm a Malaysian who migrated to the United States in 2016. The first location I settled down in the U.S. was Houston, TX. I had the same feeling that making friends was difficult. I'm a runner, so I decided to attend social running groups and that's how I started making new local friends. I moved to Utah in 2019, I met my wife here, she's from the state of Mississippi. We find that making friends with local Utah-ians isn't easy either, then I started joining local running groups and I ended up making a lot of new local friends again. I came to the conclusion that you don't force yourself to make new friends, you just have to do what you enjoy doing, be yourself, and friends will come later. If you keep being concerned about making friends and wondering if there's something wrong with yourself, you will end up having anxiety.
I totally agree.
As adults you realise that making friends comes gradually, you must exercise patience; there is a lot to look out for as well, values, character, attitude, perspective to life etc.
I have been having that thought for sometime now .😊
Beautifully stated. I absolutely agree.
But, are they really your friends, or just temporary acquaintances? They may be using you for a while, as Americans are rugged individualists who have the "frontier mentality" and therefore not friendly people as in other nations.
Great summary Wing.
Although I have never lived outside of Australia, I have lived in multiple locations within the country. My method of making friends, was to throw a "welcome to the area" party and invite all of my immediate neighbours. Each time, I was shocked at how many of them did not know one another, despite being long term neighbours.
haha that's the american way of doing it xD
"American" way?!?
That's excellent. I bet you have met some good friends over the years doing that. Sydneysiders should do that! That city is the most unfriendly place if you don't know anyone. Melbourne is definitely different. I may come back and retire to Tasmania in a few years.
@@whohoo-sz2uv yes yes
neighbours suck,
we work to hard.
we need to avoid them so we can watch the last 30 minutes of the bbl and get ready for sleep.
people that come might underestimate the amount of work we do.
I'm from India, living in Perth, married to an Aussie. Perth people are , friendly and it's clean too. I went to Kolkata last year after 8 yrs, for a month holiday. I started to miss Australia.
Well its Calcutta mate. You could live in a cardboard box by the side of the road in Australia and it would still be better than Calcutta.
Perth is safest place to live
I'm planning to apply for PR. How easy is it to get a PR for a 43 yrs old engineer with 20 yrs experience. I m quite confused about whether to apply or not. Pls guide
Are you a male? I notice differences between gender in opinion
AUSTRALIA IS FULL OF INDIANS NOW
I'm an Aussie, and I think you're right about friendships. It's hard for ppl who grew up here too, especially if you move interstate a few times like I did. It definitely requires effort and patience.
I think that is a universal fact - when you are an adult, it is more difficult to make friends when you move. You need to be involved in something other than just daily living to connect with others and make friends. I'm American and moved to be with my now husband...new state, very rural from a city I was born in. You need work or a hobby to get to have the chance to make friends.
That's a truth ❤ you must be make friends to living in this world
I think Australia is a lonely place.
I found it much easier to make friends in Sydney than in Melbourne. When I first moved here 20+ years ago it was to Melbourne first, everyone I worked with already had their friend group from high school and weren’t very welcoming. When I moved to Sydney there were a lot more interstate and immigrant colleagues so were more interested in making new friends. My experience only!
I think it’s because we tend to move much less than say Americans who think nothing of moving interstate to go to college and then when you get a job. Here most people live in one of two cities which contain most of the educational and occupational requirements. That leads to people keeping the same circle of friends throughout their lives, even from high school. That means very little motivation to make new friends which can appear clichey. If you’re American, you first have to break through our stereotypical views on Americans.
As a local I also found it difficult to make friends at University. After my first year I think I had made one real friend. It wasn’t until I lived on campus that things got a lot easier and social.
I'm also a local and I found it hard to make friends too. It was only because an international student that I worked with in a group project brought me into their friend circle that I got to make friends with more ppl. 😅
There may be in Australia more acceptance of life's pleasures than here in the United States: This is still a Puritan society. Whereas I have read that Australians are far less religious than Americans or even Canadians.
@@RicardoMartinez-oh9sqAmericans are way less religious now. And as you’ve seen, Australia is similar to the us in making friends. But there is a lot of them that have international friends.
However it’s hard as an adult to make friends. Unless you leave the Babylon system and go somewhere like the rainbow family gathering to really make some awesome friends.
Making new friends is actually difficult for everyone, especially in terms of different age groups. Sometimes, loneliness is someone’ carnival, or carnival is someone’s loneliness, it really depends especially for maturers. It is truely a relief if someone looks at things from another perspective.
We moved from Ireland to Perth about 8 years ago. I'm Indonesian and I found friends immediately. It took a while for my husband because we got different personalities interm of friendship. Most of my local friends are mostly lived abroad before so we got something in common. When I lived in Ireland it was so difficult for me to make a friend. Because I'm Asian they assumed me with a lot of weird things which I finally gave up looking for a local friend. And in Ireland they have tight needs group. For instance my husband's friends mostly developed during university, so I'm always outsider. Since Perth it's so close to Bali the local are not strangers to Indonesian or Asian. I think it depends where you live in Australia. I'm definitely happy here in Perth.
Yes I agree to some extent. I'm an Australian, I've always lived in Sydney. I feel that there are two worlds. The temporary traveller / student / backpacker world and at the same time the australian word. I'm in the middle of these, because my partner is brazilian. I feel the 'coldness' or 'being closed' might be because in these big cities, everyone is so transient. even people from Sydney are always moving, always coming and going, you feel that everything is temporary. It might be because you always meet foreigners, every day, so it's hard to invest in friendships when maybe subconsciously you know that they might not be around
Very good insight, I tend to agree about the sense that community life, if it even exists, is fleeting or uncerain - it totally makes sense, and it probably feel the same way as a local. Perth, despite its neatness and outer beauty, feels a bit soulless to me because of this, and other factors. It's like it's some international city that people only come to because of economic reasons, as if that's the only identity of the place, which ends up feeling quite shallow. And looking up at the austere angular glass office buildings dominating the whole CBD reflects that
But half of Sydney is foreign these days so you can't exactly ignore them 😂
Ugh really? I’m contemplating moving here and I want a core group of friends, not just people touring around and leaving..I hate how the world is set up this way
@@FeedThemCakethat sounds just like the United States. Except foreigners that immigrate here aren’t so friendly per say. And people tend to stick to their cultures.
I’m considering a working holiday visa and I met some nice aussies but now I’m considering not to go there anymore. It would be nice to meet other foreigners and aussies
And there is mixed conclusions like some people have said that Sydney is a nice area so I guess I’ll have to maybe see for myself
Australia is very similar to the U.S@@eminem13001
A balanced review, and excellent video. I definitely agree - and I have lived in Australia all my life. Your comments on friendships, cost of living and suburban lifestyle are very accurate. It takes Australians a while to warm up to people on a genuine friendship level. I have worked overseas (short assignments only), and I don't think Australians understand how lucky we are. It's a wonderful country.
As an American who moved to Australia to do a PhD at UNSW, I also found it difficult to make friends with Australians. This was not the case when I did my undergrad in the US where it was very easy to make friends, both international and Americans. I think the biggest reasons for this is that the Australian and American university systems are very different. In Australia, most Australians attend a university located in the city where they have grown, e.g., so if they are from Sydney then it would be one of the Sydney universities like UNSW, Sydney Uni, Macquarie, etc., in Melbourne that would be Melbourne Uni, Swinburne, etc. Since Australians attend one of the local universities, often times the Australian students will live at home instead of on campus or live with friends off campus and therefore be surrounded by their friend networks. In the US, the situation is very different. Most US students move away from home to attend a university/college which is usually not located in their home town. This means US students are not around their friend networks and must make new friends while attending college. Also US universities have far more social events than Australian universities, such as sporting events to attend (i.e., college sports), many different clubs and social groups, fraternities and sororities, etc. Additionally, there is only a single orientation week for both domestic and international students (this is something I wish Australian universities would do). I found it way easier to make friends when I attended college in the US than during my PhD in Australia where most of my friends were international students and not locals. The situation could change in Australia if perspective university students are encouraged to attend a university not located in the city they grew up in. In saying all this, I do like Australia and I now consider this to be my home. And as you have said, making friends takes effort and patience.
Great points.
Talking about Uni in Australia, did you really find it worth the money. I just think the universities and professors here are full of sh*t... the fees are very very expensive but it doesn't give you the same level of teaching..
@@Yash-jp6xhwhich school are you talking about, I might avoid that 😂
People stick to the state they did high school in because of the ranking system used to get into uni, which differs from state to state. To get into an interstate university you would have to take two sets of high school exams
@@phoebexxlouisereally that's interesting i thought it was only the point mentioned by the original post? Can you explain a bit more?
I'm sorry that you felt so alone when you were at uni. And, yes, the universities need to review the policy of segregating local and overseas students.
And may I compliment you on your English. You speak English very well. My daughter and I are learning Spanish together using Duolingo. This is now day 147 of my Spanish journey, and it's a slow journey! I'm always impressed when I hear someone, for whom English is a second language, speaking such lovely, colloquial English.
And I'm glad that you've grown to love living here. Australia is a wonderful place to live.
Gracias por el mensaje! Learning a second language is definitely a challenge, so congrats to you both for getting started with that! And thanks again for such lovely comment. Wishing you all the best :)
Its true that there are entire classes consist of chinese or indian and asian students with no locals in sight.....it makes me feel international students are handled like cattle.
Moved to Sydney from Adelaide for my husband's work. One of the most isolating experiences. It is so hard to break into some resemblance of community. I have got use to my own company now after 9 years. My husband's friendship are from work. I think in Australia in the big cities, you have to be a part of something to connect.
I loved Adelaide and SA. But it's like trying to join a secret society! Unless you came from the 'right' family or went to the 'right' school it's hard to break into the social life and to do business. It's a bit of a club to be honest. But the weather, Gouger Street and the Central Market, the arts scene and proximity to the Airport made up for it. Sydney is a way of life, not a place to live, great to visit.
@@davidjma7226Sydney is a shithole. Nobody can afford to live there hahshs
It is worst here in the U.S. because of the so called "culture wars" and racial tensions.
I’m an Australian who was born here. I’ve lived in all cities except Adelaide. In terms of friendliness and friendships - Sydney is the hardest. Not only the most expensive city but the hardest to gain friends. Melbourne is probably the friendliest place in Australia. Good luck to all with your future plans. Overall Australia is a nice place to live.
Which city is most affordable to live in?
I sincerely hope this is a joke. Melbournians would run you over with their car to avoid missing a red light. The most aggressive, selfish people in the country.
You were very polite. I was born in Uruguay but raised in Australia from a very young age so Australia was all I knew until I travelled the world. When I first went to Argentina & Uruguay for holidays as an adult it was like a whole new world opened up. I made many friends & everyone is so welcoming & warm very quickly. Australians are very nice & generally polite but there is no warmth & you are kept at a distance. If you are an adult single male with no children and don't drink alcohol Australia is very difficult to make friends. I've spent nearly all of my life here so I tend to be distant myself now. Even your energy through the video I felt like I wanted to be your friend. It's hard to explain but there is a different energy with people from South America and Australians. I'm not meaning to criticize Australians but rather just point out differences. Australia also lacks culture, sure in the inner cities there is a little bit more but it doesn't compare to other parts of the world. Australia does have high wages but the cost of living is crazy high. Btw I do think Australia is a good place to live. As for wildlife, I see Kangaroos every day in my front yard and I saw a snake walking back from the beach today....seriously, but I live in a beautiful coastal suburb with nature all around, so yes Australia is beautiful. I think I have to go to Argentina and bring back a beautiful Argentinian girl to enjoy this paradise drinking Mate on the beach.
the police stomp out any culture there is, thats the problem
My best friend is a professional dancer and teacher from Cuba and is a naturalised Australian citizen. I highly recommend you to join an authentic Latin dance school as they attract a lot of people who love this culture. Moro’s school is Buena Vista Dance Academy in Sydney. There’s a wide range of nationalities and it’s a great way to make new friends and get healthy exercise. There are parties, workshops and weekend getaways. You can check out some student performances on TH-cam, also his own performances there. Just look up Airagdin Pavon More. There are similar schools (non-ballroom Latin) in most of the capital cities.
As a migrant who has lived in Australia more than 13 years and went to uni in Melbourne, I think your cons are just spot on. Making friends with locals is pretty tough and there are lots of reasons for it. I've found Aussies quite polite (for the most part) but they're quite reserved to someone they don't consider from the same culture or skin color. The popular sports like footy and cricket are quite unique to their culture. They take a lot of getting used to and tbh, even now I am not a fan of either of those sports. If you are an overseas student and want to have a shot at staying here permanently, your best bets are fields like IT and accounting. However, local students hardly study those professions, making it more of a challenge to make local friends at school. Or at least that was my personal experience. Perhaps the sparse population density (except the city centers) plays a part in the feeling of isolation and lonliness to people new to this country. On the other hand, the fact that Australia is very multicultural also doesn't help with integration. People from different ethnic backgrounds can just get on with life in their own bubbles. Melbourne's weather is not my cup of tea either but Sydney and Brisbane are not too bad. All in all, it is still a damn good country to live in. Finally, thanks for the very informative and interesting video.
I found the IT industry very difficult to have a steady job in, which is why I left to go to the USA. There is a reason why locals don't study it, like me they got BURNED.
@@darmou Interesting perspective. If a migrant like myself has held very steady IT jobs since I started working in 2013, I wonder what barriers or challenges to locals would be?
Trust me it's hard for Aussies to make friends too......i wonder why that is
I think the skin colour thing is a misjudgement. Depending on where you’re from maybe some stereotypes are involved. Stereotypes are a natural human biological defence.
I moved from NZ, with no technical cultural difference, just as hard to befriend locals. So you end up making friends with other people from the home country, other states or other countries who speak English, until you have kids then you have a good excuse!
I also think that making friends is harder as an adult . I think it’s important to recognise that this is a world wide phenomenon and seems to be getting worse .I have found that in Australia , the further south you go the more formal people are . I grew up in Queensland where people were more spontaneous and open to a chat . Here inMelbourne it used to be more common when people weren’t preoccupied with their phones .in general though Victorians are a bit less spontaneous in dropping in in each other but if you can get up the courage and step out of your comfort zone you can make some wonderful friends . It just takes time and effort .
As an Aussie the thing about making friends is 100% factual. I grew up in a rural town and moved to the city as an adult and found it extremely difficult to make friends. For me the only way I did end up making any friends was like you through work. When it comes to groups at uni not socializing after classes are done this is also true and unfortunately I can admit I was guilty at this myself.
I'm glad you call this place home, because genuinely speaking the positives outweigh the negatives but can understand your frustrations
But I wonder, does deep friendship really exist? My "friends" stabbed me in the back. I no longer have friends.
One reason why foreign students find it hard to make friends with locals is because there are a LOT of foreign students who only have a student visa. To locals, foreign students often appear like long term tourists.
Even for locals find this antisocial
@@MitchellBPYaoI don’t think so. People don’t want to put time and effort into making a friend who’s just going to be gone soon
Back in year 2001, I found it quite difficult to make friends in Australia too as an international student. Classmates just go off straight after class and the only way to interact with them was if you're a drinker or a smoker, which I did neither. 😮💨 I made a few friends though that I still keep in touch till now.
Making friends is really hard. Completely agree.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It's not easy even for Australians. I've lived in several Australian cities and have been to three Universities, all as a mature aged student (I have 3 degrees). Although I made a small number of friends by the time the degree was finished, these friendships didn't extend beyond the campus and we've never had contact since graduating. I would have thought that an international student would easily make friends with other international students as the average across Australia is 24% of students are foreign. This is not evenly spread and in some Unis it is as high as 50%. However, I've travelled extensively and have lived overseas and my experience was the same - it's very hard to break into established social networks in any country.
Thanks for sharing these insights, appreciate it
Especially when your career is being a student 😂
It's difficult for male as they look cocky. Everyone need girls so it's comparatively easier for them to build social network.
you're 100% correct about making local friends, even for interstate people.. and imagine, that gets significantly more difficult if you're not white / european migrants.
Gee whiz I guess it's not for me
Ay che! Qué lindo escucharte. Bien completito y honesto. Nos ayudás un montón, hasta con el listening. Gracias totalass! ✨
Martina, this was a very, very good video, thank you! As an Aussie, I've always been fascinated about what Australian society looks and feels like to folk who come here from other countries, as I think it helps us to work out what we can continue to develop in our society. I feel that your analysis is absolutely spot on (and sure, once again that's coming from my subjective experience/perspective) - whilst Aussies are generally very friendly and polite, it can take a long while to get to truly, deeply know and befriend them (I'm not sure why, but I agree this is the case). Totally agree re the suburbs - I grew up in them, but prefer more vibrant, inner city areas full of people, cafes, shops and cultural events (and I completely accept not everyone is the same - many prefer the quietude of the suburbs, absolutely that's a wonderful thing to) - this explains why I enjoy visiting and staying in inner city suburbs (especially Fitzroy) for holidays - that place is remarkable. It was really interesting to hear your take on tertiary education - I completely agree, Australian universities are very, very good (at least from my experience) - I've had nothing but extraordinarily experiences in them. You'll be interested to know that my most enriching experiences were at university, mixing with both international students and Aussie students, in an international student organisation (the perfect harmony for me), so I agree 100% that joining groups, clubs, societies, etc is a FANTASTIC way to connect with folk who share your interests, and for me, it was all about multiculturalism, travel, and all that entailed - to this day, those folk are dear friends. Thanks again Martina for this important, respectful, friendly and insightful take on Australian society - it's people like your good self who make Australia an even better place to live, enriched my multiculturalism. Wishing you a happy, fun, safe and healthy life here, for as long as you choose to call Australia home! 😀
Thanks for sharing this :)
Hi I live here in Australia.. I am Indian .. I already have Aussie friends I feel they are absolutely polite and cool ..
I have never been to Australia, but when I casually meet Australians here in the U.S. it feels to me that we "click" right away because Australia is not a Puritan nation.
I totally agree with everything you have said and I lived in Fitzroy (Melbourne) for 5 years. Lots of culture in the inner suburbs and wonderful things to see in the city. In the suburbs,it can get a little monotonous. Living in Point Cook is dreadfully boring compared to Fitzroy but it suits me at the moment. You were spot on with everything.
When you arrive In Sydney as a visitor or coming to live hear I suggest that you join a sporting club as a volunteer, Rugby league, Aussie rules footy, soccer act you will make friends straight away
I have been here 30 years, but I remember how "homesickness" was very hard. I was given advise from a older migrant: "It disappears after 2 years". This was true for me even though I thought it was something I would never get over. Just saying x
I emigrated from England in 1970 and didn't feel homesick until I actually went back there in 2004. If at that point they'd told me that it wasn't possible to return to Australia, I probably wouldn't have been that bothered other than being separated from family.
Even moving from one state to another it can take up to two years that was my experience and advise I give people who immigrate from another country …
I was born and bred in Sydney and moved up to Brisbane for a better family life 25 years ago … no regrets… when I visit Sydney now days I much prefer Brisbane… 😁
homesickness is one of the factors why it's hard to live far away from your family .. and I'm planning to move to AU. I just want to ask what are things you did to get over homesickness?
@@Parawingdelta2 that's a huge positive,I think.Good on you
A very balanced video. I am an Aussie who left Melbourne about 8 years ago to retire in sunny Asia. I enjoy going back to meet friends occasionally, but the the thought of going back to live in Melbourne’s suburbs again does not appeal at all. Australia is a good country to grow up in, get an education, save some money so that you can leave later in life and live in more interesting places.
Agree with everything except bring able to save money... Australia has always been one of the most expensive countries in the world to live.
@@alimfuzzy All first world countries are expensive.
I agree I’m retiring soon, Australian cost of living is out of control! I’m travelling in Japan currently, its good value in just about everything coffee not quite as good same price lol, Moving to Asia probably Thailand it’s hot but so much more chilled than Australia these days love it there but our beautiful Australia has changed….
like Thailand, the Phils,Vietnam...
@@musicdpc007try Bali
I’m an Aussie and agree about making friends at uni. I literally made like one! Luckily I had friends from school and family here but people just kept to themselves. It was lonely even as a local which is sad.
I do think because there is so many tourists and backpackers here that I’ve met over the years, you tend to have fun with them but not grow super close because they leave inevitably. It happened 3 times to me, so then I just sort of didn’t make much effort (guilty) to people that were traveling here for study or work..or just here for a short time (didn’t know what their plans were).
Especially as you get older, you just don’t have the energy or time to invest unless it’s at work or they are part of your social circle.
Great video. Making close friends in Australia is hard. Traditionally, Australians have socialised through being part of common activities through sports clubs, hobby groups, cultural associations, churchs.etc. Whilst this is changing slowly as the population diversifies and our City's offer more variety of areas that encourage natural social interaction.
Oh what do you mean by diversification? Is the recent change made because of modernization? or massive immigration?
I would agree . spot on . still better than being in UK ....
as an australian in university its really hard to make friends mainly because most people commute to university so when the tutorial finishes they leave instantly so they can go home. Also australians have very bad social skills and can only socialise when they drink it seems.
It was super hard for me as a born and bred Australian to make friends at Uni too ❤️ I went to Uni after most of my peers and to a different campus, and I found it incredibly difficult to break into any of those established social circles that you mentioned - I got along better with mature aged or international students!
You'll also find that city culture is also quite different to country or rural culture. Living rurally, stopping and chatting anywhere and everywhere is MUCH more common. We know almost all of our neighbours, we wave at people as we drive by, we stop and chat at the supermarket or the bakery. In the city, this is just not a way of life that is quite as common.
Clubs and groups are definitely the way to go for making good friends as adults!
I'm not in a position to really move anywhere currently, but Australia is on my list of places I definitely want to visit.
why? Do you also have menytal health isuues like mine ?
I agree a great country. I'm originally from the UK and I would say 98% of people in the UK go to University in a different city to where their parents live. All students spend at least their first year living in college or student accommodation on campus. My experience in Australia is that 98% of locals still live at home while at University so it's a completely different experience for locals.
did you go to an Australain uni? If so what was it like for a UK student
Great video! I’m American-Australian and have been in Australia (Gold Coast) for 9 years. My experiences have been similar to yours. Glad to have such a beautiful Latin presence in this country.
mostly in the last 10 years
Lol 😂 listen here American friend… you’re American. Not American Australian 😂 remember this yeah, you’re borrowing Australia till you give up your citizenship. If you have been here for 9 years, you will understand this ♥️😃
Coming from Germany in 2019 I was never in doubt that Australia is one of, if not the best country to live in. I would never go back to Europe where everything is a mess now. I could easily build a my new life in Down Under Making new friends was super easy for me as most Aussies are just very inviting. Life is a lot easier and the laid back live style and the general way of life is the reason why so many people want to come to Australia - I'm very grateful to live here.
My son moved to London last year from Australia and has found it really hard to make friends. I told him to start inviting work colleagues out for drinks or weekend activities because in London most people are really from somewhere else. It is beginning to work but taking time.
I came to Australia from London and intentionally moved into a share house despite being older than the typical age for that. It helped. I also joined a sport team and club and that's where I really made friends.
I moved to Australia +7 months ago and what you shared on your video is 100% matching with my personal experience, especially making friends and getting into a relationship. Its hard, especially after covid and it takes time. However the country & people are awesome.
Same!!
Thanks for this review Tini. In my university in Queensland, they still make this division between International Students and locals. I think it's a mistake as in some ways, isolates international students. Orientation week is ok because you receive information that locals might know already but then if you have other activities like "International cafe" or "international lunch", that just stresses out a difference that I don't think helps international students.
100%
It implies “you dont belong in Oz”
As an American temporarily living in Australia, I 100% agree with how difficult it is to make friends. Speaking to strangers here seems to be looked down on. In America I can comment on anything in public and talk to a random person no problem but in Australia that's not the case at all. Everyone here seems so antisocial and rude. I'll be glad to leave this country
I'm sorry to hear about your experience and can 100% confirm. I'm a native but also autistic and I've never had friends until now (in my 47th year).
Many such cases.
I believe the Scandinavian countries are the same.
I'm Canadian/American born in Toronto, live in Los Angeles. Americans are by far the nicest people on earth. I'm retired now and believe me there is nothing on the planet that compares to driving around this incredible country and having great conversations with perfect strangers. I can be sitting in a restaurant talking with a stranger, and when time to pay the bill, the cashier/server has told me that person who just left, the one you were talking to, paid your check. That has happened to me more than once, only in America.
You take it as rude most shy and don't know how to act to you
Goodbye
You must be in a big city.
Very interesting video. As someone who grew up in Sydney I would never have believed that it was hard to make friends here. Then I moved overseas for 12 years England/Europe and when I came back most of my friends had moved on, family, kids etc. so I really tried to make new friends, and boy was that tough!!! Sometimes it felt almost like dating, lots of rejection. But I did do many of the things you mention i.e. team sports, meet ups, exercise groups etc. and slowly met lots of people and made some close friends. Now, my old friends kids are older, they all want to hang out more, so I am doubly busy!!! :)
I'm from SG and had a vacation in Sydney and made lots of friends then went back to SG. A year after went again for a short trip but my old friends there didn't recognize me anymore. So, when I make new friends it's kinda hard than the first time I did it.😅 But I'm still planning to move to Sydney because the place is great!
What about work in Australia. Is it easy to find work than other countries you have been in?
Im Aussie, raised in the suburbs and i agree with you about how hard it is to make friends. I am 38, most of my friends i have known since we were 5 years old (which i am grateful for, i love them like sisters). I met some friends at uni but because Sydney is a huge sprawling city (i live in the south east of the city, to get to the north west it would take over an hour to drive there) i did not live close to any of them and while we enjoyed our friendships during uni they did not last afterwards. I have made one good friend outside of work since my school days and she the mother of my daughter’s best friend, without our daughters being friends we probably would not have ever spoken to each other.
I definitely felt the same as you while in uni here! Despite my efforts to join in clubs with local students, it felt kind of remote, later I figured out I was in a group mostly for undergrad students and they already shared similarities in growing up (e.g. went to the same high school, etc.) while I was a graduate student. So I ended up making mostly international students but they were very nice and we became good friends! ❤ It was not until I started to work to make more local friends. So you’re right. Maybe upbringings, maybe we were adults, maybe it’s the Australian lifestyle. ^^ but anyway, I’m glad you raised this issue up and hopefully future international students could feel more welcomed and included in the fun here! 😊
I find your video truthful and balanced.
I live in Melbourne too. But I find the weather terrible
My opinion on life in Australia (I'm Australian born here)
Australia is like hospital food.
It has nutrients but lacks flavor.
I have lived for years in Greece, Mexico, Brazil, Thailand.
The standard of living is not like Australia.
But life in these countries is joyful.
In Australia, joy is like a suitcase that is hard to fill..
That’s a very interesting point of view. What do you think is the reason for the difference in joyfulness? I feel like Aus is a much less intense place (than Euro cities for example) because there are fewer people and everything is more spread out. As an introvert I quite like that but it’s not to everyone’s taste.
I'm Thai who lives in Melbourne for a while. I would say Thailand is very fun to visit so it's probably suitable for extroverts or partygoers. I find the standard of living is significantly lower than in Australia. This is because the fact that Thailand is a developing country, people pay much less taxes than in Australia, and the government is so corrupt. So I think Australian are very lucky. Although the cost of living is pretty expensive, I do still think if you work hard in Australia, you will get what you earn, and would still have a good life.
🎉
I find your description quite on point. I find this country lacks culture and the sense of community that other countries have in bucket loads. Yes it is multicultural nation but many people stuck to their own people and do not assimilate.
@@pidiek6121but life is more than just money though.
There should be an organisation that facilitates a ‘meet an Aussie local’ gathering/party ! Plenty of people love an excuse to meet new people but unless you’ve experienced being new and a migrant, you just never think about it. Having lived here forever, I’d never contemplated what it’s like for you guys. - but yes we do meet in workplaces- but there’s probably a business idea in facilitating big meet ups for newbies. Big good onya for getting here and breaking in. Hope you’re thriving and sorry it was difficult. I apologise for the rest of us!
Great idea!!
Thank you for this! Everything you’ve mentioned is exactly how I’m feeling. I’ve been living in Australia for 4 years now and still haven’t made any friends. It’s definitely one of the hardest things for me as I come from South Africa where we’re basically friends with everyone.
Great and detailed video. I am an australian but went to University later after working for a few years. So all my school friends had completed or almost finished their degrees. I found it very lonely too and wasn't prepared for that at all. Orientation activitiies were not that great. Joining clubs etc is a good idea though no guarantee of making friends. The problem with class mates and socialising was they all had part time jobs or put all their classes into the a few days so had little free time for coffee etc. Happily i had friends outside Uni so I survived !!
Definitely right about how hard making friends can be. I think our laid back nature means there isn't enough of a community effort to bring new people into social groups. We need more social events/groups in our communities.
As for a centralised city, Sydney is one exception. Melbourne is very centralised and this is reflected in the fact its city skyline is bigger than Sydney despite Sydney having a bigger population. Sydney has a lot of small cities inside. Parramatta and Chatswood both have big skylines and urban living.
I don't think it's laidback, Australian's aren't openly socially expressive, it's more cerebral. Changes depending on the area and state where you live of course, huge differences between the states. Overall though many Aussie's work is quite simple, get a job, get a family, hibernate in their home
With friendships with locals at universities, I think it’s impacted by history of international students in Australia. When the universities started international students reprograms, there was less effort on the entry requirements and they didn’t have separate classes. This meant that a number of international students were struggling and relying on local students to fill the gaps. It led to resentment as some international students were perceived as trying to get local students to do their work. Now programs are developed for international students so they get the support they need, but this cuts off the social access to local students. I think a peer support program that would have local student volunteer to be a peer support, which will be a way to create social networks
internetvodka...I love when people have something new to say after a subject has been talked about so much.Thank you for that
Thanks for your videos, having been born and bred here, I find it fascinating to hear about my country from a different perspective. I think that you are a little too polite about the cons but appreciate your positive attitude.
Wanted to comment on making friends, my daughter-in-law emigrated from Canada which you would think would have been easier for her, being a similar culture profile. She also said it was difficult making friends and I think it’s because Australian’s are more conservative than you’d expect, given that we’re quite casual and chatty. Even moving towns can be difficult for many. Once Aussie’s make friends they generally stick for life but not many people I know have big circles of friends unless they are heavily involved in sports clubs and charities, etc..
And, as a nation, we are definitely far too car obsessed!
I also think that we use politeness as a bit of a crutch. Sorry about that last comment 😂 Thanks, cheers, excuse me, beg your pardon please.....
Thank you so much for this comment and your insights. In relation to the friendships, yes, it's so interesting - I have friends from the UK who've experienced the same struggles - something that surprised me considering the similarities in cultural profiles as you said. It's such a fascinating topic and clearly driven by so many factors - such as culture and/or just age (adulthood etc). And yes, something that helps a lot to expand those social networks (both internationals and locals) is joining sports clubs such as rock climbing, footy, etc. or working (e.g. in an office etc) - any setting where you get to spend time together or share common interests helps greatly. Thank you so much for this again, really appreciate it (big fan of your politeness!).
Your video is about to get many more views. Thank you.
I’m an Aussie and your analysis is very accurate 😊 my husband and I have moved around a lot within Australia and it’s been challenging every move to meet people and make new friends. It was interesting when you spoke about inner city living and suburbia, the shopping etc is very lacking and yes it’s a given, we are a vast country and you need a car to drive everywhere 😂.. lovely to meet you sista from your country cousin! ❤😂 regional Victoria
What part of regional Victoria are you from?
I'm planning to move into the regional Victoria too... Appreciate if you could share your honest opinion on which parts of regional Victoria are the best.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! All the best with your future in Australia! ❤
I agree about the social culture norms for meeting new people and making new friends. I was born in the US but lived for 16 years in Israel. Israelis are VERY social and curious. I have heard from many other Israelis who have moved here that they get frustrated by this, like not socialising as much with coworkers you like, etc. The only reason it didn't bother me so much in my uni experience when I moved to Aus is because I moved with my partner, who is originally Australian and from the city we live in, and we are reasonably involved with our Jewish community, so I have had other opportunities to meet locals. Having said that, it's very different trying to make friends as an adult and I am still struggling, but I think that aspect is pretty universal.
Estoy TAN impresionado, wao!! Notaba que no eras nativa hablando ingles, pero pense "ah de seguro será de Gales", cuando dijiste que era de Argentina me quede con la boca ABIERTA!! Que bonito tu ingles y tu pronunciacion.
Muchisimas gracias por aportar tanto valor y todo lo necesario que uno usualmente quiere saber cuando emigra de pais.
Muchas gracias por tan lindo feedback! Lo aprecio mucho y me alegro que los videos sean de alguna ayuda :)
Enjoyed every bit of your video. Thank you so much. Really hoping of living and settling in Australia really soon.
One major issue for me is the heating system in Australian houses. It is very bad comparing to Europe and you can feel it especially in Melbourne where the weather can be extremely cold
I've mostly lived in apartments here so didn't have to deal with that much. But my first shared house was an old victorian house, and yes, the heating wasn't great. But I guess it depends on the type of house, how new it is, and overall built quality. Some of them are really good, and they've been updating the construction code for everything related to energy efficiency in new builds, so hopefully that fixes some of these issues. Thanks for your comment!
Yup the building standards in Australia are very low and they tend to build homes that combat Australian heat, without consideration of the cold. Despite the fact it gets VERY cold the more south you go.
I've lived in Australia a long time but I also spent 10 years in Europe. Making friends depended on whether you are a social animal, as my former wife was, or a person happy to entertain yourself & living in a block of flats we did have social interaction, mainly because of kids playing with each other. I lived in Toowoomba in Queensland for 22 years yet found it hard to break into the social circles that depended on who you knew & who you went to school with. Other than one or two 'mates' & a great neighbour there was little else socially. I have since relocated to Tasmania, just outside of Launceston, yet the story is still the same. I talk to the neighbours occasionally but that's as far as it has gone & I have now got used to that way of life & have learned to be happy with it. Come on down & visit Tasmania. The scenery is excellent, the air is clean & geologically it really isn't part of the mainland.
Also, most of us are online these days and make friends with strangers in various groups. I have more friends online that I do here because we have more in common. As I have moved countries in the past I feel more connected to people like me no matter where they are physically based. FB, TH-cam Instagram Pinterest are great for adults who know how to avoid scams.
I love your videos and your accent, I live in Qatar but I hope to move to Australia in the future .. and during the world cup 2022 in Qatar,Argentinian fans were the best and they were the heart of the competition.
Thanks for this video!! I’m moving out of the US to Australia here in a couple of months and I am so excited and appreciate both pros and cons and just an overall honest review !:)
Bring plenty of money ! you will need it.Back in UK now after 43 years don't miss it at all.Pretty boring really especially Perth sorry folks😕
Whats the u.s like in comparison to australia?
@@jaynapatel7690that's what I'm wondering.
Even moving within Australia, especially if it's from a smaller town to a big city, it's the same friends-wise. You generally don't know who your neighbors are even within a block of flats. Covid has helped with this a bit, because people started talking to each other where they live. If you went to university in a smaller town, it might be a fair bit easier.
I’m Brazilian and I lived in Australia for 2 years and really enjoyed it. I agree with what you’ve said. I hope to return in a few months. Congrats and thank for your video.
I came to Au when I was 26, now it’s been 10 years, i totally agree with your pros and cons! Feeling loneliness being the most common thoughts…
I have lived in different places in Australia for thirty years. I like it, because I don't have to get involved with people much. I can enjoy the nature and silitude. It lacks cultural stimulation, so I travel overseas a lot.
a.fellow human being...
After dirty and littered UK OZ is paradise!
Thanks for sharing an excellent video. I have lived in Australia all of my life. Regarding making friends, it can really depend on which location that you are living or working in Australia. There are some areas and places that are easier to meet and make friends and others it can tend to be a bit more difficult. Workplaces can differ completely from one place to the next. Even being a local, I have found some places harder to get to know other people than others. Like you, I live in Melbourne and I have been here since 1981. Before that, I lived in Sydney, which in many ways, has a very different lifestyle to Melbourne. Each location here can tend to be quite unique, especially in the major cities. Anyway, wishing you the very best and i hope you continue to enjoy you stay here in Australia.
Ive lived here since i was 5 and Australians are a nice people but it is hard to make friends. Id even say Melbourne is more cliquey than my experience of Perth or Sydney. Eventually you get there but it can be lonely meeting people. Useful hack: new zealanders are awesome and often looking for connection
People in NZ are genuinely friendly and warm😊
I also think a lot of Australians are lonely too. If you can find a good Christian church, there are often lots of good community activities that connect you. Often people forget about that. Be openminded.
Australia is awesome, but I do share your experience for university. It was more challenging to develop deeper friendship with local students unless you share the same cultural mindset and frequent partying / drinking, which as an international student we did not had the luxury for because home currency was weak and we needed to make sure to pass else waste the very expensive tuition fee which our parents paid for. It could also be due to I was in rural area, people are either very nice or have preconceived bias - it was my personal experience at least, and this was 15 years+ ago. In the city, it was much much better.
You are doing awesome work. Wish you all the best for future endeavors.
Looking forward to see you in Australia.
Thank you for the kind words, really appreciate it :)
My brother his wife and kids emigrated to Perth in 2006. My sister in law and husband and kids did the same in 2011. They're very happy and grateful coming from an imploding state like South Africa.
Such a well-made video (lighting, color grading, editing, information)... and such a pleasant accent to listen to :)
I think the issue with locals and international students in Australia is compounded by the fact that most go to universities in the same city where they grew up, and as a result have the established social circles. Countries like the UK and USA are more likely to have students that have moved to another city to go to uni. This would contribute to making it difficult for migrants to establish relationships with locals.
I’m Australian and super lonely. I have tried to make friends. International folk is easier. But I’m aging out of hanging out with them. Single 50+ it’s depressing. I’m in the process of leaving
i'll be your friend.. Can you sponsor me for a visa? haha
It's better to leave than to find that needle in a haystack of a friend in this country.
I'm a fifth generation Australian and my partner is Greek. There are definitely some major cultural differences in terms of family relations and making friends. The concept of family is totally different. Greeks and other cultures are close to family, seem to make friends everywhere, and are proactive in terms of keeping contact. I obviously don't speak for every Australian. But GENERALLY speaking our family relations can seem a bit more distant or detached in comparison, and this same vibe can apply to friendships. For example, I can go for weeks without speaking to my sister. But it doesn't matter and doesn't bother us. We catch up at major times - birthdays, Christmas etc. It may seem strange or wrong to some, but to me it is perfectly fine. It is probably something non-Australians need to be aware of. But overall, we do like to help others in our community, especially in times of crisis etc. By the way, the cost of living is increasing everywhere, not just Australia.
Interesting that it's difficult to make friends in Australia. There are some reasons for this i believe. The main one is it's a general societal change that has gotten worse in the last 50 years. I'm a middle-aged Australian and where i grew up in the suburbs, not only did the kids play with each other often, but the adult neighbours often knew each other and visited each other somewhat frequently. My parents, when young, often did this. However, now in any average suburban steet, few people know each other or even bother to visit their neighbours. Kids stay at home and look at screens after school; it's called social dislocation, social distancing and isolation. Australian society is rife with it. This is partially why living in Australia is shit.
Agree! I'm 53 now and when I was a child I often played with friends in the neigbourhood. I sometimes would ride my bicycle for 30 minutes to meet a friend. I often stayed over a friend's place overnight. My parents knew everyone along our street and invited people over for a barbecue. My next door neighbours were like family. I called them Uncle and Aunty even though were were not related. Different times back then. I had a wonderful childhood. A lot of great memories meeting so many people in my area.
Im in the U.S. and its the same situation here. Kids just dont play outside with all their friends like I used to. My daughter has to arrange play dates for her kids. I think there is a general isolationism overall.
I agree. I'm from Australia and my friends are from when I was young. I'm now nearly 80 and we are still friends although a long way apart. I lived in Canada for 25 years and made friends easily over there. I have no idea about why it's hard to make friends in Australia.
You can't argue with any of that, really. Australian born, those observations all make sense to me. Glad to hear you are glad you moved here. Cheers! (Tim from Adelaide)
Very informative, thanks. I love learning about different parts of the world.
I’m French-born and did like you fifteen years ago, and I endorse totally each and any pros and cons you made!
your parents are getting old...But they have already lived their lives... this is your time!!, don´t worry about them, because for sure, they feel very proud of you!
Just came across this video now. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety over the past 2 and a half years. This video gave me some solace that other migrants are going through the same thing. I made a lot of good friends here my first year in Australia but I was a backpacker then and most of my good friends were all backpackers so by the time I got my PR they were all gone. I wish I had put more effort in making Australian friends. I recently visited my home country and I have a large group of friends and community there and it really hit home the importance of community.
I have worked in a university in Australia for 10 years and studied at 4 different universities here. It really does depend which one you go to as to the interactions, some universities are notoriously bad for international students to even interact with domestic students and I have heard so many stories like yours. Going to a smaller regional university will give a much better experience and more local interactions so I would encourage people to look into this if it is a big concern, also campuses that are in the city have less campus culture.
I live in australia and I personally think that making friends is as challenging as it is everywhere. I have moved schools 2 times and I had no issue making friends since the people here are so incredibly friendly
Muchas gracias por el video!
Been thinking about moving down permanently to Australia for years ever since my first visit almost 10 years ago.
Coming from Sweden, It basically feels like Sweden but with better weather and I've honestly not managed to find any country similar to Australia.
I’m Australian and have lived in Canada since 1956, married a Canadian nurse and came here because as an aeronautical engineer the aeronautical industry was much better. Had no trouble settling in here my Canadian wife was lovely. I’m sure if I had stayed in Australia I would have found a nice wife also. Being in another country is more a personal thing I think than evaluating all the pros and cons. As far as the pros and cons it could get down to weather. It can either be too Hot or too Cold and it’s easier to warm up than cool down. Probably a unique thing was that aeronautical people like each other and becoming friends was easy no matter where you coms from as shown by the many world meetings we used to have. I could have lived in just about any country as long as it had a good aircraft industry. One thing about Canada that’s a plus is that it’s a fabulous piece of land from south to north and east to west and have enjoyed many holidays all over, Its location very convenient in the world.
This is the first time I have seen your videos and I really enjoyed it but had 2 immediate thoughts. Firstly, the comment about making friendships rings very true, as somebody that has lived my whole life in Sydney but has Greek parents and spent lots of time in Greece over the years. One of the major differences I have seen is that the abundance of land we have in suburbs, which is something many people like, is also part of the reason it is so hard to make friends. Secondly, while the cost of living is high, this is directly linked to how good salaries are - if everybody is getting a good salary, it means the cost of living will also be higher. Having said that, I think if you are a potential student or immigrant that is not coming from a country with a high base salary, it is useful to know that the cost of living is expensive if you will be relying on savings to get you through a university degree etc. Well done on the video!
Regarding making friends. Universities often have a huge array of Clubs to join. Not just sports like football, but Dance, Computing/Linux, Mountain Climbing, Fencing (= sword-fighting). And if the club you want isn't on the list already, you can possibly get support from the Uni to set up a new club. In New Zealand many Universities have (snow) skiing clubs (Winter only) and bushwalking/hiking/tramping clubs. Remember also that a 1,700 km flight away at the closest, New Zealand, although a separate Nation, has a special relationship with Australia. Australian citizens can visit here, and have almost free access to our healthcare, and our universities. etc. Australian citizens are automatically permitted to become NZ Permanent Residents without needing any Visa. Previously many overseas migrants got entry to NZ firstly, and then some years later, as soon as their NZ citizenship and passports had come through, they would immediately move to Australia, using the reciprocal relationship between the two countries.
I’ve lived in 3 countries and can honestly say Perth is brilliant! Perfect climate , easy to make good friends & get ahead financially. Also brilliant public transport & healthcare. Life is what you make it !
You really did an excellent job of summing up the experience of being a migrant. I'm from the US but have been living and working in Japan for over 8 years myself. Despite Japan being a totally different country and culture, what you said is very applicable to my situation as well. I think the 3 reasons you listed for difficulties making friends are all true, and they effect people even living in their home countries. I think it's so important to research differences in culture and watch media and learn about the country and it's people's day to day life before visiting let alone moving to another country because it really helps a person to discover things that are going to be different and then mentally prepare for the difference or get ideas of how to do things differently. Even if a person does that though, there will always be things that are missed or not discovered until after going there. So I think it's important that people traveling and migrants try our bests to be kind to ourselves, and recognize that there will be struggles and misunderstandings, and to try to be patient with ourselves and others when that happens. Maybe it seems like basic or obvious advice, but over the years I've seen many people here in Japan struggle immensely with loneliness and cultural confusion and culture shock, or feeling rejected by their communities because of a lack of knowledge and being too quick to jump to assumptions or familiar ways of thinking without questioning if that way even made sense or seemed to be how anyone does things here. Which I don't think is anyone's fault, because we all learn to interpret things within our home countries and first languages, and that colors how we interpret the world forever after. It's also why going to a different country and learning it's language and culture helps people to think and experience the world differently which is beautiful and interesting. The point you made about how travel and migrating changes us, I think is so undeniably true. Even though I can't see distinct individual changes within myself, I know that I have been slowly changing and adapting to my home in Japan, and that also makes my home town feel less familiar and more strange. Not just because I've been away for while and things and people inevitably change, but because I have changed and so my perception and experience of those old familiar but unfamiliar things also change. Being a migrant is a very interesting and difficult position to be in, but also very rewarding because I get to experience so much personal growth, and so much learning.
Rosemary
also a woman,I lived and worked in Japan for 5.years.It was a long time ago.I was inmediatly adopted by the local Japanese community,asked to marry by 3 different Jap guys...
Reading the comments about how difficult is nowadays to make friends and having been to Oz several times a long time ago I can't help thinking it's the times we live on
How do you like Japan? I used to like it at the beginning but when I learned the langage and observed how society worked I began to dislike them.
That and the fact that you can never be alone,even in an isolated countryside
Gambate kudasai
As far as socialising and friendships, I'm an older person and am saddened that it has changed from my younger days where anyone was welcomed to simply arrive at your home and get a meal and talking, without any sort of appointment, where strangers were invited in for a meal and chat. I hate that that part of my country has changed.
oh so it means that keeping a distance to others was not the original traits or mentality of aussie but quite recent situation right?
@@ejfeg779 Yes I think it's got a lot to do with the internet and social media and very rapid coomunication.
yes as a university student 95% of the class have extremely bad social skills and are just on their phone the whole time, the only time when australians are social is when there's drugs involved
I was Born and raised in Sydney (mixed Hispanic and African American). Moved to USA in early teens and found it was very easy to make friends , when moving back to Sydney now that I’m early 20s I found that you can feel very lonely yet in a city IF you don’t apply yourself..nobody comes up to you here in Sydney like they do in the USA to start convos, you MUST apply yourself and be more extroverted especially if you’re international… locals don’t really have a “desire” to learn about you being “international” unless you’re from USA…or maybe some European. THOUGH
Usually you will almost always be friends with your coworkers, that’s a Australian quality in my opinion especially in city..
What interests me about Australia is the safety of life and the standard of living.
Safety in living is the most important thing. Especially social media safety. If life safety standards are high, everything is possible for Australia. There is still room for growth in Australia.
I love your appreciation of our beautiful country. I'm a proud 5th generation Aussie. I've grown up in Sydney & lived here for 70 years. I've seen a lot of changes and my beautiful city is being over grown with high rise apartments. I had hoped that local development would not have ruined Sydney skylines as much as it has. Regardless, Sydney is still 'simply' beautiful.
Traveling to Brisbane and Perth here in 2 months to check them both out & activate my visa, moving to AUS next year, just trying to sort out which city I want to try. Looking forward to whatever path the future brings!
Im an Aussie, move to Brisbane, Perth is a very boring and a quiet city, many people I know say the same thing, its not a great party or clubbing city but if you like a quiet city then it would be good for you. Brisbane is that nice middle ground where its not too busy and crowded, you will feel like home here compared to Sydney and Melbourne, those 2 cities are like the New York of Australia. Also Brisbane is very close to the Gold Coast, it always feels like your going to a holiday on the drive down there, and its just a nice vibe to relax for the weekend and go to the beach etc and its only an hour drive, everyone's in a weekend vibe down there, awesome place. Both Sydney and Melbourne lack a place like the Gold Coast, its what makes Brisbane compete with those 2 cities
"Looking forward to whatever path the future brings".
Ahh...you are making friends already....and you are not even here yet.
I get the distinct impression from some of the comments ..."it's hard to make friends" ...that too often these types are looking for what these "friends" have to offer - how they will benefit.
That is not - should not be - the way it works, loyalty being a two-way street.
Friendships built up in a 3 hour bar session tend to last as long as the hangover.
My tip: Brisbane. The weather is unbelievable year round. Indoors is for sleeping or for when it is raining so that is important.
@torres8988 you probably never been to Perth lol ...I was there recently. It was great and probably about the same as Brisbane as far as night life and restaurants etc ..both about the same size
@@Foden5354Which areas in Sydney are you talking about? There are plenty of beach strips in Sydney which would compare to the GC more then Melbourne. I'm not suggesting to move here but it sounds like you don't know Sydney and the state much?
If you have to drive outside of Brisbane to go to the beach then you are doing it wrong. Stay in Sydney's eastern suburbs and you have many beaches on your doorstep.
I loved listening to your presentation. You are a level headed woman, you gave an unbiased opinion about this country. I wish you Good luck with your life in Australia.
Australia is roughly the same size as mainland USA, which means weather can vary greatly across the country. e.g. In the USA, Miami has different weather to Boston or New York. Yes, our Melbourne weather is crazy but you learn to ignore it. If the wind is from a southerly direction, keep an umbrella handy!
Basically, I advise friends from the USA to flip a map of Australia upside-down and use that to roughly compare Australian seasonal weather patterns with the USA. Miami weather is most like Brisbane weather. Boston or New York weather has more in common with Melbourne than, say, Brisbane. Perth is a bit like LA.
Again, very rough rules of thumb for planning a trip, not trying to start a weather war...
If the wind is from the south the umbrella has probably already departed the state…
Perth is like San Diego..Freeways and sand dunes 🏖
As an Indian who migrated to Australia, and now living in Spain - the social aspect hits in your face when you first move to Oz. On the other hand making friends in spain has been a cakewalk even when my spanish was broken.
As an indian who is going to pursue masters ,seeing animals everywhere and too much population is overwhelming for me in my country and i am ok with isolation and having genuine 10 friends than going to make many friends
Completely agree! Throughout the years here in Australia I've made really good friends, and with time I learnt that quality is always more important than quantity! 100% And if you are able to make those friendships in settings where you share similar interests (in my case rock climbing for example) even better :)
I’m so impressed that you pointed out the suburbia problem, especially you are not Asian. This is a true cultural shock, people grownup in such environments think that’s how city should look like. And we thought that’s how “western world” look like. It turns out to be just the “new world” (US, CA, AU, NZ).
It's not for everyone. I love it, but its hard here at times. I can deal with being on my own, its especially hard for people who are a very long distance from home. It's much more difficult to fly to the UK, as opposed to Indonesia for example. It must be even harder in New Zealand, I imagine.
Loved knowing you’re a neighbor 🇦🇷 🇧🇷!! Great video and content as always 🎉
Obrigada!! :)