Who Pays On A Date? What Women MUST Do!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2024
- What to do when the bill arrives? Should a woman reach for her wallet? Stop making these dating mistakes if you want to be treated like a lady instead of selling yourself short! Live a more fabulous future by taking part in my FREE workshop: fabulousfutureformula.com/
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Even my male bestfriend doesn't let me pay for small things like coffee.
SAME!
how lucky! My bestfriend guy wants us to do 50/50 all the time, even if a earns more than me (and his parents are more wealthy than mine).
He even pays when I invited him out! (Yes I did insist him a few times on letting me pay because I invited him but still! If my future man can’t treat me this good then imma just date my bestfriend!)
My male bestfriend is broke as hell...80% of the times I end up paying for almost everything 😩
@@julietterozier1991 he's stingy then...mine works but is always complaining about being broke so I mostly have to pay💔
The classiest I’ve seen is when the man stands up and settles the bill away from you or waits for you to go to the ladies room then settles the bill while you’re gone. This prevents any theatrics when the bill arrives. It’s already settled.
Couldn't have agreed more!!!
My boyfriend does this :))
Yes, that’s wonderful. He is class. 👍
Love this
It’s so respectful and mature
When its time to pay, my husband used to excused himself and goes directly to the cashier and pay. The bill never arrived at out table.
Total gentleman! You lucky woman!
And that's why he's your husband today! ^_^
You so lucky ❤
Amazing
Why should he excuse himself when d bill will come to d table. He's already ur husband so no formal drama here.
Had a date with a gentleman, he pulled out my chair, I ordered my appetizer and margarita, we had great conversations, he got me a dozen roses and he paid when the check came. Our server placed it in the middle of the table, I didn't even look at it and began sipping my drink while he grabbed the check. I didn't even look at it sitting on the table and he slid his debit card right in the bill book. I thanked him politely for a great time. Ladies, you gotta learn how to receive, be polite and be feminine.
On a first date it’s whatever I’ll pay the check but if ur expecting that same treatment where u don’t have to pay on dates after that.. you gots to go 🙅🏽♂️ .. save it for the simps.
My husband payed (in the beginning), and still pays for our dates. I do my part, he does his. But he's always loved to treat. And I treat him back in different ways. It's fair and reciprocal, and yes, he makes significantly more than me - but there is no confusion about the fact that both of us contribute to creating the life we both want.
Question for you...Did you actually dated This guy afterwards?
@@jonathanrivera366 Johnathan, please understand that dynamics in relationships are not universal. Some couples like to go halfway and be equal, and there's others where the man prefers to be the one to pay. No one way is right or wrong
@@nihilisticbarbie I think he was talking about the Woman that expect to be paid for, not the men that want to pay.
If you want to pay for the dinner, then go for it. But don't expect me to let that happen everytime, I have a job too and would also like to treat my man like he's special.
A relationship is give and take, but too many woman are comfortable with just taking, and too many men are comfortable with just giving.
And usually what your left with, is a girl that only cares about his finances and gifts. And a guy that only cares about her body and sex.
(That's not a relationship, that's prostitution with extra steps.)
If a man invites me on a date & then asks me to pay half of the bill, he will never see me again.
Exaaaactly!! Why did you invite me if you don’t wanna pay? Lol
Frii Munya Because he’s a cheap beta male. Lol
If a girl invites me to go out she pays and if she wants me to pay when she call the shots she is kicked to the curve
@@punisherlol4368 If she invites you out on the date and you accept, you must be the one with feminine energy if you allow her to pay. Beta males do exist. Goodnight 😴💤
@@Rosa-qg3xp is not not called feminine energy is called. Being smart and not to get used lmao
Just as women should not date while they're working on themselves to level up, a broke man shouldn't "invite" a woman to dinner till he straightens out his finance.
Preach 🙌🙌🙌
Exactly!
You should come to Germany and tell them that. Surprisingly, it's not obvious to everybody 😂😭🤬
Paradise Found cost of living is too much in Germany. That’s why this type of tradition continues there from 60 years ago even.
@F it was a general statement
I just moved to Germany, and went on my first date here 👀 guy asked me if I expected him to pay, I said yes - and he went on about how this is strange and German girls ALWAYS pay on dates. I just said : ‘Well I am not German’. Needless to say the date was over.
I live in Sweden and I avoid dating Swedish men 🤮
That’s so odd. I dated a German guy and he’d always pay
Re P 90% of Swedish men and women have the 50/50 mentality. It’s very rare to find a man who pays for dates. They don’t even take women on proper dates. They’ll ask for a walk or drinking coffee on the first date 🤦🏽♀️ I’m tired of them.
Re P Swedish women here are very judgy and see you as less than if you have a man who pays for everything
I am German and it depends very much on the man, at least in my opinion. Some men pay, others want to go 50:50, and that is in every age range. However I feel like usually man that are older than me (e.g. in their 30s), I am 26, pay lunch/dinner, but men in my age range not so much. I also love it when men offer to (and actually do) pay because it makes me feel taken care of, respected as a woman and to be honest also worth the time and money for him. What I find difficult is that for me it seems as some expectation goes along when men pay, such as a sexual/physical expectation. When I go 50:50 I feel like I dont "owe" the man anything. Not quite sure what to do with that thought though..
As a man it's heartwarming to see that there still are women who celebrate their *femininity* & don't consider it something inferior to masculinity...
I’ve already spent more money on lingerie, hair, and beauty before the date began anyway
Oh good there are men who think like this.
Where are masculine men at?
Simp dude thinking his wallet makes him masculine 🤣😂 embarrassing dude shut up man
They can celebrate their femininity and pay for their food kid! Just shut up
My friend bought us (two of my gal friends and I) pizza and I felt guilty because he was paying for me. I expressed this to him and he proudly proclaimed, "oh, don't worry about it! In my family the man is always expected to provide! That's just my role! I'm providing for you three!"
I immediately had a lot more respect for him.
Same , I like men who splurge money
You live in middle ages. So if u believe that man’s role is provider for the woman (so wtf is she? A child) what is the woman’s role? Staying al home and not work i suppose. You are the death of the femmismism
Wh ore
Next time, invite the all your girlfriends along when he "invites you" out.
@@chri371 First of all you have a very reduccionist point about history. Then, man being the provider doesn't mean that women should not work, nor be independent and gain much more than them. And feminism now days is more in favor for men than for women. Women we have a lot of things but stills femininists add that you have to pay.
Instead of saying “thank you for the dinner “ tell him “food was delicious and I had a great time with you “. Men LOVE that
Connor Dusty Hickory II lool wtf
@@LoveRubix I mean, he's right. The majority of first dates between people go down the shitter. First dates should be 50-50, every time. This shouldn't even be a remotely contentious statement to make, for chrissakes. It's 2020, not 1950.
@@siim605 So called "equality" has been the downfall of the XXI century
@@cristinap273 What are you talking about?
S Why should you go out with someone who you are not vibing very well with? Most of my first dates have been very nice because I won’t go out with a guy that I don’t vibe well with or do not like his behaviour or character.
And if he does insist that you pay, I would pay my half and then he will never hear from me again.
👏
This act normally makes women feel masculine, lowers her estrogen hormone and decreases her attraction to the man she's with.
Same
I loose all attraction
It's such a turn off. All the effort I put in to taking care of myself and you think I'm going to let you enjoy that after making me pay half like I'm your buddy. No no no!
My Spanish great grandmother had a saying in Spanish...."El que quiere azul celeste...que le cueste".... translated to English that sort of goes like this ..."The one who wants baby blues, must pay the dues" ...or something of the sort. I remember once when I was about 24 year old...a man invited me out and when we finished our meal he made a comment trying to indirectly suggest that women should cooperate for the bill.... I just smile and said to him.... Ohhhh , I know what you mean...then I asked him, still with a smile on my face...do you know why I never acquired the vices of smoking and drinking? Because when I was very young the allowance my parents gave me was not enough to buy cigarets and alcohol...my mother said to me....if you can not afford to pay for your vices, then you don't need to have vices. 🤣 Men who can't afford to have a woman...don't need one.
😂 If a man cannot afford a woman, you talk about women like they were commodity
Great story. You are right right. Men who can't afford to court a woman should just jerk off to porn for the rest of their lives.
Wow girl! 🤣
@@jutube90 I mean 95 % of the times they treat us like that. They only respect us and talk about feminism when the bill comes and when it is time to go to work
Your spanish great grandmother is delusional.
Do not forget, when invited anywhere by anyone, do not automatically go for the most expensive things on the menu. You don't want to put the payer in difficulty.
you are right, it's not elegant to ask for the most expensive bottle of vine in a restaurant, just because you know you don't have to pay for it
Wouldn't it be simpler to not take women to overpriced restaurants? I have no desire to date someone who is only dating me for free fancy meals, so this strategy works well.
I don't invite women out
They invite me
They pay for me, I split with them
If you require a man to pay for you, you aren't equal
@@gordongekko2781 I think most women would NOT order the most expensive meal or wine. You would definitely get your answer about the type of woman on the first date. There are nice decent ladies out there and nice decent men. And then there are the not so decent. I think we're all looking for the same thing. Companionship, relatability, good values, common goals, and happiness. It shouldnt have to be so complicated. I think often people have unrealistic expectations of each other.
That is why men would order for the woman, it was to make it less awkward for both of them. Or they would suggest something.
You wouldn’t invite someone to your house for dinner and expect them to cook the meal, right? I can’t believe our society has lost the most basic of manners!!!
So good
The only exception is a family holiday meal like Thanksgiving where it's likely that everyone will pitch in but that depends on family traditions and there's probably a better way to go about it lol. Otherwise 100% LOVE THIS.
Means whoever's invited the person pays right. Not just the man
I legit stayed in the home of a family member for a weekend by thier invite, who expected us to buy groceries & they didn't even have soap in the guest bathroom 😱
@@ruthannemackinnon588 thas a horrible thing to do yo.
I remember once going out with a guy (after he asked me) and then at the end of the meal he was like "you got this right?" 😂 i was like no sir. The waitress actually saw what was happening and she walked over and said to me "dont worry girl, I paid your half of the bill, go find yourself a REAL man" 😂 and I did. in the 10 years ive been with my husband ive never paid for a meal. and even when we were first dating he said "dont offer. i know you can pay but im the man, and real men take care of their women."
Omg!!😭
That waitress was an angel 😭😭
😮😮😮
Wow God bless you guys
What you all dont understand is that taking care of a women is not about the bills. Its SO SO SO much more.
Paying your bills is a cute and respected move but its still a very small move and a not even worth to mention part of the relationship.
I feel so uncomfortable when my girlfriend offers to pay for our dates. I like to pay though I'm not particularly rich.
Good for you! 😄 I'm sure she appreciates it.
I wonder what is James doing in this channel...??
Your a good man
Proud of you!
A real man hete
Anna, thank you for not being intimidated to talk on affluent dating. Women in the Western world are so brainwashed by the system to be "equal" because the budget of the state is not profiting from a maintained woman not working and not paying taxes. There is nothing wrong in being provided by a man. IT IS NORMAL. Wish you could speak more on the topic of relationship. Love and gratitude 💖
Vanessa, you said
" Women in the Western world are so brainwashed by the system to be "equal" because the budget of the state is not profiting from a maintained woman not working and not paying taxes. There is nothing wrong in being provided by a man. IT IS NORMAL. "
Well since you now demand equality in the work place, the right to vote and demand an end to slut-shaming... then you can pay your own way and that's IS NORMAL. Paying for 50% of the bill does not mean that your paying for me, only that your paying for what you shove down your gullet.
I think somewhere along the line women got confused by the idea that been EQUAL means to been THE SAME...
You want to have your cake and eat it too. I see.
There’s nothing wrong in being maintained, but you also know that this is outdated thinking right? You also become more vulnerable given that a woman in your position is not financially independent.
It becomes an issue when u expect us to provide for u and u don't bring anything in return
What was sad is how uncomfortable that guy was.
I thought I was the only one who noticed😂 he was so confused too.
Such a gentleman..probably wanted to pay and treat her but some women ruin their own lives.
LOL pure regret on his face
I think he was insulted,,,
@@khwahishjoshi8789 they ruin it for the next girl too🙄
He was a little insulted.
Only few now who still practice chivalry.
I was paying 50/50 when I was younger. I wanted to show I'm independent and I'm not materialistic. Therefore I was ending up with cheap man who didn't respect me. This is how it works. Man doesn't respect you on date and you allow him for that, he never respects you later. If he pays and is angry at you he had to pay then you can see with whom would you end up. Paying on date is a first test for man. If he didn't pass then hm... forget about him and remember he was not worth of you and your precious time.
Agree. I have a friend who always offers to pay on dates and always ends up dating guys that are 50/50, never buy gifts or do anything romantic. She complains about it 3 months into the relationship as if she thought they would magically start doing these things instead of setting the standard from the beginning of how she expected to be treated. I've pointed this pattern out but she still continues to do the same thing. It's definitely an underlying belief of what you think you deserve.
@Nameless It is just your case is exception, not a rule.
@JS Fantasy Definitely not. You are worth more when you are the most attractive, not necessarily during younger days.
@Nameless As you wish :)
Agree with you. 50/50 never works, I know people that apparently are ok with it but on long terms, they are unhappy especially the women. Very few are happy with it. And where I live, a Nordic country, 60% of divorces and many singles. That speaks loud statistically on 50/50 relationships.
This was an interesting video to watch now that I'm an adult; when I went on my first date, I was 18 and could not drive. My mother dropped me off at my date's house, and he was responsible for taking me home at the end of the night. After we had dinner, I reached for my wallet because at that young age, and with no prior dating experience, I was afraid that if I didn't pay for my meal, I'd "owe" my date. I'd had too many peers who were pressured into sex or taken advantage of because they "owed" the boy for a $15 meal.
In my haste to get ready, I'd forgotten my wallet at home, but my date was more than happy to cover the bill. Later, when we'd been together for some time, I told him that I'd been nervous during that first date because of what other young women go through if they don't split the bill. He was horrified that that's something women have to go through, and we're now happily engaged.
wow i think he was just exploring the world
No one can be pressured into sex via force . The girls just felt their vagina was worth “ 15 dollars “ and let the “ guilt “ take the better of them
He is a good man.
From the old school here, and this isn't even affluent,my not wealthy grandma let me know never to pay for a man.
Exactly Lillian. It’s not a wealth thing or affluent thing . Men have turned it into that. Even the new feminism. I’m thankful never had to be concerned about it
That’s right.
Good luck ending up with a SiMP
@@katemiller7874 so u will never pay for your man? Never a gift? What about christmas? And birthdsy? Or anniversary? Wtf you all are so materialistics
My mom always said that!! Who ever invites, pays. A man stopped dating me because he said I never paid. I said, "But you invited me??" He called me to tell me that and said if I dont start being 50/50 we couldn't date. I laughed and said okay great. Never spoke to him again.
thats the energy we all girls need to have😀😀👌🏻
And he wants free sex from that.
It’s good for you cuz he reveals his skin so early. He doesn’t worth your time.
You did the right thing! I would rather be dumped for not wanting to go 50/50 and replaced by a dust bunny woman who would do that, than going 50/50 and then being left for a woman who would never even have to lift a finger. This second situation is much much worse.
Let me clarify he meant 50/50 on dinner. He was expecting me pay 50% of the time hahaha
Most of the times the lady starts a relationship paying 50% of stuff she ends up later paying 100%. It's a bad policy for women.
Oh my goodness!!! My first boyfriend was like this!! And he always said he didn’t have enough money. I was so clueless that I didn’t get that he was only using my own money for four months :((
Very true!
Most of the time ? 🤣 NEVER!
Excellent advice! Don't let a man try the 50/50 game on you!
As a guy I would never allow any girl that am dating to pay 100%..I mean I pay from time to time if if we pass by to star bucks while in the mall or something..but the case goes the other way if she expected me to pay 100% of the time for her things I would leave..it’s not because of money but the character..no one wants to feel used especially when your dating someone...your either going to marry them or break up with them
If a man can't even treat you to a meal...I am sorry that man is not worth your time and effort. Men who love you and care will give you the world...I know because I married one. I can afford my own things but he won't allow me to pay for anything.
I absolutely agree in the polar opposite direction. If a woman feels entitled enough that I have to pay for them just because they're a woman, they are not worth my time and effort.
@Chlarie Peace That's anecdotal.
I might be wrong but I don't find anything wrong in women paying. I'm in a relationship for more than 5 years & it was me who payed on our first date. He wanted to pay but it was me who didn't let him. We want to be treated equally like men, so I think it will be hypocrisy if that criteria doesn't apply to this as well. And speaking about our biological capabilities as Anna mentioned, it's no fault of men. We are made that way. So I guess that's kind of absurd comparing that with paying our bills.
@@sukanyaa.sonowal Thank God there are only a few women who allow this non-sense. Make sure you buy him flowers and chocolates as well.
@@voguehaven5154 No, people date people they're initially infatuated with. That's not the same as liking someone as a person, because before a first date, you don't really KNOW your date as a person. Kindness and respect? Of course! That doesn't involve money at all. So, explain to me why a man has to "treat" a woman (with money). To impress them? Come on. I'd rather not be with a person who wants to be impressed by money. That's shallow to the highest degree.
I was on a date a few years back and the male, after the meal was finished, suddenly remembered he "forgot" his wallet. I then asked the waiter to split the bill, I paid my part and left. I NEVER spoke to him again.
"Male"ahahaha
Wtf yall forget your wallet so many times
@EL JAY I found out right before the date, he had done that to a couple of other women. So no, I was the one who doged a bullet on that loser. I was prepared to pay my half, but after the information I found out. I played his game.
@@cjsrescues what a power move girl!! Good for u 💁♀️
Haha good for you!!! I would do the exact same thing 😂
A man once told me he would feel like less of a man if he lets me pay and added “so let’s not even have this conversation, because it’s not something that’s open to ever changing”
This warms my heart so much
Hot!
That's fragile masculinity right there! He should feel loved to pay. Not obligated. Not because he's THE MAN. 🤷🏻♀️ Am I the only one that thinks this way?
No, there was nothing fragile about that man. We all know that if I would have insisted or even made a scene, I would have paid. There was nothing physically preventing me from that - same as I can carry my own bags etc. But this isn’t about what you can do or what he can do. It’s about respecting one another. It’s about him allowing you to be a lady and you allowing him to be a gentleman. They can’t treat us right if we don’t allow them, you allow your man to pay, to pull out your chair, to help you put on your coat... Allowing men to act like men is an act of power by women.
@@gigantsquid nobody need to let anybody do anything lol 😂 whatever you're saying that should be done by men for women, it's all social norms being imposed on people.
But Being feminine and letting a man treat you like a puppy is not the same.
Being feminine is a trait that shows power, stands her ground with politeness and elegance.
All I'm trying to say is, a man must not feel powerful by only doing things for his woman and just paying but the way he takes care of his woman, supports her, stands beside her and if he's the one inviting, he should pay.
Men these days are really cheeky. Once went on a date with a guy and he pushed the bill to me! I smiled at him and thanked him for the date. I refused to even look at it. Makes you wonder who raised them!🙄
@N M English 😭💀
You rock, lady!😘
Did you end up paying for the whole thing then?
She said she refused !
@@ellylilly8836 sis, we went up to the cash desk and I stepped right back and said thank you very loudly. The Korean waitresses were calling him "gentleman." Oooffff, it was a tricky one to avoid but I didn't pay! Shame, I liked him, but no way am I paying ever again😭😭😭.
My absolute worst first date experience was not only he was 10 mins late, but He was so cheap that he waited for me to came back from the bathroom , as the waitress already half way took the billed after he placed his credit card , and he had to called the waitress back and told me that I should split the $13 bills with him. Now I looked back , it was dumb but I am glad I had that experience. Then I met my boyfriend later on which we been friends for two years prior to our two years dating. He remembered things that I mentioned that I would love to do, so on our first date, he surprised me and booked us to the penguins encounter experience at the aquarium, and finish the night with a romantic Italian dinner which he claimed he make the reservation a few days prior since he was nervous he wouldn’t get the table. Till this day , he still treated me like a queen. My point is: sometimes you gotta meet some frogs till you meet the prince that will treat you the way that you deserve. Never settle for less! ❤️
It could be worse, I heard a story about guy who invited a girl for a coffee, she didn't want to go on a second date, so he sent her a Venmo request for 3,50€
You were broke
@@SHINCHAN-hn4cw I have no problem treating my friends for a $100 per person meal, but there’s something call the principal. Again, different stroke for different folk.
I literally had this experience yesterday/ Thank you so much for sharing
Wow he wanted to split $13?! Very cheap I would have just paid the whole $13 plus tip and left! Especially on a first date! Not worth the hassle and if he’s worried about $13 he’s definitely got money hang ups he should’ve discussed beforehand not when the bill arrived. If it were $50-100+ that would’ve been way different especially if I ordered lots of expensive items and he ate a hamburger and water!
Once I offered to pay the bill for me and my bf (now ex) at a pricey restaurant we both agreed on, to show I was “considerate”, us being in a relationship for several months, and he never stopped me or offered to split. I was really embarrassed when I pulled out the card and the waiter looked at me oddly. I felt like a mom paying for her son or some type of sugar mommy, more when he looked younger than me even though we were the same age. It’s been 9 years and that scene still haunts me. Since then I don’t suggest anything out of budget and much less offer to pay or split.
WolfDive then why on earth did you offer to pay if you were not ready to?
If it’s obligated for a man to pay on the first date, then its is also obligated for the woman to have sex with him on the first date. Women always talk about ”equality” when it suits them.
@@patricksoundarapandian2230 Are you nuts? So, what? Sex in exchange for money-for-dinner? Seriously, are you NUTS?
@@franciscoaleman2493 if women can expect a man to pay what can men expect from women? Is it fair that she’s entitled to MY money and I’m entitled to …. Nothing???
Exactly my point, women are delusional. That’s just pure manipulation offering to pay knowing damn well you don’t want to 😂
Unfortunately there’s a certain type of men out there who are extremely lazy. They cannot even take you out on a date. It’s always ‘Netflix and chill’ nothing spontaneous, nothing special. Boring. Some men nowadays don’t know how to court a woman. I don’t know where this type came from but it needs to be thoroughly educated about courtship.
😂
The saddest thing is that there are women who will allow a man to get awsy with this and give them any of their time.
He is not lazy, he is just cheap and wants some +18🙁.
There are many men who don't want to invest time or money. To watch movies on Netflix, I watch them on my own.
OMG I am so agreed! I had known a man who would propose to meet in the middle to hang out at a free entry park, buy own drinks and snacks at local mini-market (separate payment) but then he would say nonsense like "shall we go to YOUR place this evening?" hoping to get laid.
Lol this type of men merit nothing but a cold smile and a goodbye.
My man would never let me pay, only once for a bottle of water bcs he didn't carry coins and the vendor didn't take card payment for such a small amount.
I have never paid for a date and I will never invite men on dates.
Same here girl❤️
💁🏽♀️💅🏽
The words would never leave my mouth b/c the thought would never enter my head to invite a man to a meal. Unless of course, he is homeless or an employee. NEVER!
Same here!!
How much has your longest relationship lasted? Genuine interest ❤
This woman literally changed my whole life 🙂 literally.... Endless respect for you dear Anna 😍
Me too Anna, before I watched your channel I was super naive even though my mother always tell me , man should pay, but never explained me fully why, as you do! Since that, I have educated some men 😂 and also have shared this knowledge with my girlfriends. Please never stop! Your voice should be hear louder!! Plis go to tik tok , younger generations need to hear you!!
U will be alone men don't want that
Me too, I used to be such a pick me, all my life most the men I was with used me and just overall didn't respect me
Yes!! ❤️
@@namjoonsgf41cultured men✨✨✨
It explains why I AM alone 😭😭😭😭😭 I always paid bills. Do not make My mistake 👊
I literally did the same and I took the pride in that. I was wrong and was terribly taken advantage of
Welcome to equality
@@akasickform no need, let the man pay the bill. Period
Don't do anymore....
@@It.is.snehal no. Lol
dated a guy for one year... he is a lawyer and brags on instagram how rich he is and what he has... he expected me to pay for both of us at least every third time we went to dinner... and when he knew it is my turn to pay he would always eat extra much and order as much as he wanted without asking me if it was ok.... or when he gifted me something he always said: the next time you pay for dinner... never again, what a waste of time
Omg what a waste! You’re better of without him.
This kind of man 🤮
omg disgusting! and usually the guys who brags on Instagram has nothing to be proud of in real life
You are richer without him and he is much much poorer without you. Stay blessed sister💃🏾
@@NM-ou9el thanks for this sweet comment 🥰
Anna's horrified face at the start of the video is adorable 😂❤
Oh yes the look of horror that I would have the audacity to put any expectation on her to carry her weight in the relationship oh yes it's so awful smfh
If a man doesn't care enough to pay the bill as he's getting to know you, that means he doesn't care enough to IMPRESS YOU, therefore you should not waste your precious time with him. A man who wants to make a good impression on a woman will never let her pay the bill. That's just a fact.
...and *that* is a fact
Then I can be the other way around too huh
Wtf? Are u a children that you need money from Tiger? Grow up
I’m honestly lost for words. Shocked. Is this what all Americans think? The level of entitlement and narcissism is beyond my understanding.
@@user-ef1qy9zq1g 1. I'm not American and neither is the person who made this video. Why the heck would you assume that?
2. Narcissism is a serious personality disorder and one you can't diagnose through someone's comment on the internet. Now, if you're talking about somebody having narcissistic traits, hurling 'narcissistic' at somebody just makes you blind to your own (in other words, you're not doing the world any favor by saying that). Perhaps you should do more research before throwing the term around just because you see everybody else doing it on the internet.
Being a muslim, this is not strange for me. In Islam a man must provide for his woman and if she works, he is not allowed to touch or even ask how much she earns.
My husband and I have had financial problems in the past and had to cooperate together to get out of that situation, but now when things are really good, he is providing for us and his parents.
We have a son and I am going to teach him from the very early age how to treat women.
I love your channel dear. Keep up the good work. 😙 greetings from Germany
Additionally, in Islamic law the woman isn't obliged to do anyhousehold chores either! The hadith says that if woman do household chores it's a gift to you because it's not their responsibility or obligation. So judging from this, it's sad to see how few muslims there actually are..
In conservative Christian circles the man is expected to provide for his wife and family. It's only in these modern days that people are trying to place more pressure on the woman to pay.
@@td2222 marriage is a partnership and normally the woman does more household chores by default just because the man is typically more into his career while the woman because of her biology as a mother has stronger ties to her children and to her home. There is nothing wrong with that setup. Men and women complement each other and should love and respect one another in marriage regardless of their role in the marriage and in life.
I would be so uncomfortable with this system . Like this is so biased and bs. That's the reason Islam is Islam. I never respected this community every and after this , i understand why this is one of the worst community . Always up for Christianity and Hindu.
Muslim lady here too. God bless our husbands
Proven power move for any young men reading: When ordering food with waiter present, tell your date that she should order anything she likes, you will take care of everything. Then later on, take care of the bill out of her sight. Just walk out of the restaurant with her like a boss.
👏👏
Lol yes! But they must also be able to comfortably pay for everything as well! (So he better mean it!) 😉
Yes, it's what I do.
I once went on a 1st date with a man who was a world traveler. He asked me to pick any restaurant. I told him I enjoy trying new things but had never tried Indian cuisine. So he picked out a place he knew was special, and after I told him my preferences/likes/dislikes he actually ordered for me. Just like in the movies. "The lady will be having...." I was so impressed. I never even saw the bill. He was a true gentleman.
💯
I feel as though it's improper for ladies to reach to pay and or for some even "pretend to want to pay" 🤣🙄! I've learnt this from my Father, it's actually extremely rude when someone wants to treat you well and you argue with them. Ladies it " emasculates" them! It's ok to want to feel as though you don't owe anyone anything, however, they invited YOU out, it's a formal invite for them to treat you! Stop feeling bad. If someone wants to do something nice for you, let them. For those men who are boys whom expect you to pay on a date...... run 💃💃. You don't want that type of future anyways! So stop reaching, your attracting this vibration to you. You deserve so much more.
@Blue Eyes I'm glad you've always held your standard, your definitely a strong lady 🤗! As you'd be surprised by the many whom cave under pressure from these type of "boys". This is completely unacceptable, I'm ever so sorry for all the true, high value women being treated so ill! You may need to relocate, or when the times quite appropriate of course, travel to other countries! Never settle. Thank you kindly, it is me. Just started my own channel. Goodluck to you beauty, bisou 💋💋
There was a scene on himym where ted was complaining how the women he dated didn’t “pretend to pay” and i never watched that show again😄
@Blue Eyes where are you from? if you don't mind me asking
@@hollyholly9458 Wow, so many mind games. Shameful!
@@hollyholly9458 I'm on season 3, I feel like I should stop now. XD
As a gay man I am the same! When a man invites me out for drinks I always offer but expect him to pay just as I would pay if I invited him out for a drink!
😂😂😂
Wow wow...I love this woman..I still remember a certain incident where I was invited by a man to a restaurant and when the bill did arrive he sarcastically cracked a lame joke saying why on earth do they have to always bring the bill near the men?? At that time I really felt guilty but after watching this video I realize how rude it was of him back then..
Omg the guy told me the same thing’ last year! I felt I had to pay, to « trick » the waiter for his pleasure.. never saw him again
broke loosers complain the most
At least he is not a simp
@@sreyas3144 what is simp?
@@gorzkawodka search and find
Guys these days expect women they date to become: 1) attractive, skillful lovers, 2) servants (home cleaners, cooks etc), 3) mothers of their children, 4) companions, 5) providers, all at once. And they hardly ever do one of these things right themselves, so...
Screw em🥖, not literally! Get a $10. Vibrator, done deal. 😈
On top of that they don't appreciate the women they have and cheat lol
MsSecretlady who hurt you?
I can declare this as false
Women only dress for them self's men want to be part of it they gotta respect a women.
It’s incredulous that someone would invite another out, yet expect them to pay. Terrible. Especially when a man invites a woman out! I’m so glad you do videos like this because people need help. They really do. Including me sometimes! Lol. Thank you!!!
exactly, honey!
💯
The audacity!!😑😑
so if a woman invites a guy out on the date should she pay?? I’m just asking because I’m trying to understand the etiquette rule shown at 1:43
@@eveomoregbe519 In my opinion It depends if he is your close friend it's ok to pay for his bill on a rare occasion but if you just met him for the first time Don't. But why would a woman ask a man for a date it supposed to be the Man will initiate first not the Woman
But feminism! ...Ugh. My issue is this - men absolutely should pay because we’re doing all the rest of the work especially in the bedroom. Very few men care to learn how to please a woman so yea, you’re buying my dinner jerk!
A man must invest in you. If he is not spending on you, you are not important to him.
Yes!!
Dig for gold, dig dig
If a guy can't pay for a date then he should focus on making money and NOT dating. My ex was always broke and I didn't know it until a few months down the road. He would pay in the beginning and never let me pay... But about 3 or 4 months in to the relationship he said he was waiting for his paycheck to clear and if I could get this bill this time. Of course I said sure. He's paid for so many before. But then it became more often. I was soooo in love with him that I gave him my car, paid his school, paid the entire rent when he lost his job and we moved across the country and I paid the Uhaul. So all of my financial debt could have been avoided if I had only said NO to paying for the dinner.
why did you guys break up is it same reason
Sounds like he was out of your league.
Never stay in a relationship like that and never pay rent tuition etc instead of the guy. If he really loves you he will never ask you for those things. Paying dates is not equal to finance all his costs.
@@An-yh2bl What are you even trying to say.
@@t1234-q5z read and try to understand it, it's simple🤦🏻♀️
I used to be a server for many years and I used to JUDGE the women if they didn't reach for their wallet!! My mindset has changed sine discovering your channel over a year ago and immediately the words you spoke resonated with me. I have completely transformed my mindset and appearance since discovering your channel. Thank you Anna!
I would LOVE to hear more stories from you and other servers as well. Y'all see everything. I bet you lose your mind whenever you get a group of women who loudly fight about who is paying "this time". I guess men do it too.
This is so true... High five on that, she has changed my life for good. Love her 💕❤️😍
Haha when I was a waitress it would disgust me if a woman pays , the man looks like a joke especially if the woman has her kids at the table .... 🤢
The sad thing is, according to etiquette, if a man and a woman are clearly on a date the server should never place the bill "in the middle" (it should be handed to the man automatically) even worse, god forbid, the server should never SAY OUTLOUD "Who's going to get the bill???" looking back and forth at the couple!
As a woman who once served tables in high end restaurants (and was well trained), and having been on many dates out, I have been completely shocked by the rudeness of the servers about this point almost everywhere.
When I was a server, I'd set the bill down by the man, every time. Even if the woman was around 60 and the man 20. Didn't matter.
My mum told me that when I was a child, I’d asked her why we only paid at resturants and cafes when Daddy wasn’t with us. I now realise that he would settle the bill before it was even brought to the table, which is the best way to go about it in my opinion 😂
Sooo cute haha
Oh I agree...but mommy needs to do this for 50% of the time.
@@sentaroapika1610 Random girl: My dad takes care of me and my mom.
You: YOUR FATHER IS A MANGINA
Wtf
@@sentaroapika1610 he’s a gentleman and your an ass. In the ending, he’s the one that’s married. 😂
My dad does this and he wont even let us see the bills. 😇
My husband refused to allow me to pay for anything when we were dating, even when I invited him out. His response was always "my mother didn't raise me to let the girl pay"........lol
He’s a betabuxx
Where do u find men like this!??
I wish I knew this back when I was dating. I used to pay half so there was no expectation of anything physical. When I met my husband from the get go he would pay for everything. He’s about 10years my senior and I love being taken care of by him. I finally found someone that I felt was a gentleman and if I let him pay he would be respectful still. That’s why he’s my husband now 💖
The man I’m dating is such a keeper! We never went to the stage of receiving the bill. He just excused himself to the bathroom and paid the bill! When he dropped in my workplace and went for a coffee, I tried to tap my card, he just slightly push my hand away and paid the coffee. So far I haven’t paid anything. He’s so considerable and never put things into an embarrassing situation.I show my gratitude every time because I do appreciate what he does for me. I love traditional manners. Ladies, just simply get served and show your gratitude. You deserve to be served by a decent man!
That's very true...traditional men really do spoil you more when you show appreciation
Cindy Lou thanks 🥰
I wish to see how a relationship like this looks one day. Souns amazing
@Dora ZHANG He clearly loves you, well done :)
Ken Lam Thanks, just dated for over a month, can’t tell. I’ll wait for him to take the lead anyway;)
If a guy takes me on a date and expects me to pay i'm paying and then Never contacting him again . Period.
Pay your half
Same any man who mentioned that to me he'd never hear from me again. Yuck.
The good thing for pay your own meal is he can't guilt trip you or manipulate you to do something you don't want to and you can leave or ghosting whenever you want if you see a red flag. But do not marry a guy who always demand you to pay food because when you guys married things will be intensify and you guys will have too much burden to carry. Pregnant, work, house bill, cleaning house, buy what you want. Be with mature person who understand how hard being a wife and at least be responsible with finances.
I have never paid for a date, ever. Of all the men I have dated and even my husband, I have never paid for dinner, movie, etc. I did the rules and have been happily married for 21 years. Oh, yes, he still pays.
Where do you find men like this, asking for a friend :(
You got the jackpot
Which rules?
That is not a Man you are with, it's a NEW FOOL!..........He has probably Cheated on you something silly and Pays all the bills to keep you Quiet!........Just look at David Beckham, Wayne Rooney, I wonder why despite obvious cheating evidence their wives have not left these MultiMillionaires!?? 🤔🤔🤔
ESCSvideos Maybe she just has a nice guy that’s faithful. It happens.
And good for her .
A woman never pays in a date unless she invites the man or is a business meeting to avoid embarrassment. That is crazy...a broke man shouldn't date that shows a lifetime of struggles and financial abuse from him.
Broke man shouldn't date? If you are in a relationship with a man, and especially when we are young, you can't expect for example 22 year old to always be on top of his money game. Not speaking about someone using you, but if he from time to time struggles with money, what's wrong with jumping in and splitting the bill? It's ridiculous to have money as only and highest priority on your dating list. As a couple sometimes we have more, sometimes less money. If he is trying and works hard for his money, what are we saying? Oh okay that's fine from you, but you know you have to be perfect all the time, don't even think about quitting your job even if it makes you miserable as long as it makes good bank? Just so you don't end up struggling for a bit? I know my boyfriend would never sit at home doing nothing and let everything fall on me financially, but if he goes through hard times with money, I will surely jump in and share bills.
Marijana Iljic would you invite someone over to your house for dinner when you have no food? Would you offer a friend a ride to work when you don’t have a car? If you are of low means then you have to Compensate with effort. Buy groceries and have a wonderful picnic in the park to show of your culinary skills. If you have no means and no skills... then what are you doing dating?
Marijana Iljic I completely agree with you! My first bf was a very sweet man who paid for everything. Then his parents had a horrible break-up and basically none of them wanted him. So at 18 years old he was at university and had to work a crappy job in the evenings just to get by. Of course, during that time I didn‘t expect any expensive gifts from him and I supported him because it wasn‘t his fault. It‘s now many years later, he has a great job and a sweet wife. So I agree that during tough times you should definitely support your man. They might be suffering enough, how are they going to feel if you turn your back in them on top of everything else just because they having money problems at the moment that they might not even be responsable for.
@@shadowsun5704 i am not sure i am following, so it's obligatory for man to provide 100% in a relationship for everything all the time? Without exception?
I think there is a difference in dating during your teens and 25 y/o. Younger guys are usually preparing themselves financially and since they usually have limited assets, they should probably invite a girl to an appropriate date that they can pay on their own, like a picnic, homemade/takeout lunch at a park etc. But to ask a woman on a date to a meal he can't afford and then require for her to pay is completely ridiculous. It deceives the purpose of trying to romance a woman. The worst part is when you see grown men, doing this.
Hahahahahhahahhahahhahahah story time. My ex bf was a mamas boy, he had a job as a security guard. I used to cook for him and clean his apartment, while I also had my own job. I always made sure to have my nails done, hair done, pretty clothes FOR HIM. He never took me out on a date. I got tired of being in the house so I started initiating going on dates. He usually refused because he didn’t have the money . I offered to pay for a couple of times and then I got fed up. He NEVER payed for me, I either did or each of us pays for what they ordered. Looking back at it, I see how dumb I was.
This is the new normal !! Horrible. I can’t with mama s boys.
Oh god. That’s a horror story 😭😭
I did that stuff once too. Now I feel like such a fool 🤦🏻♀️
So you assumed all the responsibilities of a wife w/o a former courtship phase and w/o the rights of a spouse. Glad you got out. At least he was not physically abusive and you did not get into debt for him. - so your lesson was not too destructive. No need to beat yourself up - some women (or men) have such onesided relationships for decades. It gets worse if she gets pregnant by him.
I appreciate your attitude (especially laughing) towards this and appreciate that you made this video. I am older (62), and in my day men asked women out, opened doors, and paid. Period.
Another good one: I thank for the invitation, and he replies “no problem, the next one is on you”. My reply: “What next time?”. Hey, I have no problem inviting a man as a special treat, for a very special occasion. But this immediate requirement for me to pay the next time, for the sake of equality? I don’t think so...
I understand you. It has happened to me with a man and I have not stayed with him again. It is very rude for a man to tell us that we have to pay.
The whole you get it next time line....yeah...because there won't be. That man just fired himself.
Misslicebeauty_ Instagram
But it’s not very rude to expect a man to pay? And judging/not wanting to go on a second date if he doesn’t pay the full bill?
Damn he was so rude!
If he wasn't well off and you really liked him, you could invite him on a hiking date. You bring the bottles of water and granola bars. Then see what sort of date he asked you on the next time. It's possible he was just tired of women using him for a free meal.
level 1 woman: a man HAS to care for me.
level 2 woman: i can do everything myself, i am strong.
level 3 woman: i can do everything myself, but it's a lot more fun when someone else does it.
I love the 3rd one.
Nice to see sb else also learning from/following Matthew Hussey :)
Amen!
I would love to be the level third women
mc Jake I agree. Mathew Hussey said this too. I see men “light up” when women give them a chance to help her.
A short simple way to handle the situation is "Thank you for treating me to such a lovely evening ". Say this while gazing into his eyes and flash him a sweet, demure smile. This should be done just after he asks for the check.
In latin culture its an unspoken understanding that if someone says "te invito" (I invite you), it literally means its their treat, they are treating you. So Anna is right, the one who invites is the one who covers the expenses.
Same in Ghana. The man handles all finances.
Is this true among women inviting friends to go out? Do they pay for their friends as a guest, or each pay separately?
I tried paying once, we met on a party, after some dancing went to get drinks, as soon as I pulled out my wallet he looked at me as if I was an alien and simply said "A woman never pays in my presence". Suffice to say, I never pulled out my wallet going out with him again.
On the other hand, I met a guy once, he invited me for drinks, paid faster than I could take out my wallet and then went on a rant about how much he likes western culture and girls who pay for themselves/ pay the next round. It felt as if he'd thrown that paying for my drink in my face.
The difference between a gentleman and just a simple guy is gigantic.
Women like this are the reason I have a hard time finding a decent man! Cheap and easy! Smh! 🤦🏻♀️
true. my whole friend group is somehow in the other category.
I was judged because I told them I didn't offer to pay after a date. its sad
Promi Lee All we can do is working on ourselves, but imagine all women had enough self-respect and decency: Men would treat us all like queens! Instead, they get free meals and sex the first night!
Its so annoying! These men get free sex free dates free everything. Then we get abused for wanting traditional men!
@@FarihaIslam-ji4kx Please expand your friend circle because it will limit you in the future constantly being around those negative influences. She has a video about 10 types of friends you should avoid.
@@MT-hk9cp thank you. I watched that video and just realized they fell in all the categories smh :)
but I dont really know how to change that.
If I am expected to pay on a first date, it's the last date as well. If this is a business meeting, or a meeting with a friend, then it's a different story. But if a man invites me to a dinner and expects me to pay, he'll fall into this business/friends category immediately, and I wouldn't consider him as a match anymore. If a man can't take care of a woman at such an early stage, what will become of him when the romance wears away? A big no-no here. Even though when I dated with my future husband, we were both young and he was only 17 years old, it was him who paid the bills. It was after several months that I suggested that we share our budgets - but it was after the "dating" stage. At that time, I knew it's the man I'm going to spend my life with, and since I'm better at financial planning, I was the one who did that. But if you're both adult and older than 17 y.o.? It's out of question, as it's an entirely different situation. I still think I did some mistakes, in terms of expectations, but when I gew older, I changed my approach. Always find ways for impovement.
Wow Olga ! You are so lucky , I hope you realise it . There's plenty of people here in the comments who have experienced such stupid experiences that it angers me.Your story is beautiful!
I am only 16..never dated but that truly made my expectations so high!
Girl, I don’t even bring a purse, I come empty handed!
Im 15 and my expectations are high already because of these types of videos
@@khwahishjoshi8789 never lower them down! I had my expectations (as to personal qualities of my future man: kindness, honesty, love, me being his #1 priority etc) since the age of... dont know, 7? Since forever. So I looked the right way when choosing a person for life. I was 16 at the time, and we're 16 years together now. I wouldn't mind if my future man was wealthier, too, but at 16, I didn't think much about money. You know better now, thanks to these types of videos ) but I would still base my choice on the high PERSONAL qualities and standards.
@@elegantlady1789 that's a smart way to do it :))) but just in case you'll need to come back on your own? For a taxi? But yep, never show your purse to a man!
"We don't really care of whats going on in his head..." 😂 love that
He excuses himself to go to the bathroom, pays without me even realising every single time and then I say babe did you already pay awwhh hug hug. That's a man ❤️
I would rather stay single then pay.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm crying....
Same🙋
Nofretari Many times going out with men is just a waste of time. Time = money in labor calculation 🧮 , why do I even want to throw extra money in?! Definitely staying single!
I hope u will :)
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂
I used to try to pay for myself when I was younger. Then I actually had a job where I was passed over for a raise and when I asked my boss why (she was a woman!) she said she chose to give a raise to my male coworker because he has to pay on dates. True story! If I'm getting paid less at work because of my gender then I don't really want to go 50/50.
And you have to pay for bras, tampons, pads, birth control and gynecological appointments.
Wooow... I'm in shock rn...
Sorry to hear that!.
I wish someone had told me all this when I was younger pass relationship 1st date and I paid ended up supporting him for 2yrs 🙊
Baby...
Same!
I was on a date with a guy just now, he was mentioning all the time that he has a really good job, he also lives in an expensive area downtown and goes places. We met for drinks, but he was very insistent to continue to lunch at another place. Well, we did, but when the bill came he did not grab it and was kind of hesitant. So I asked "Can I contribute" and he agreed, then was fretting about not having enough cash. He did not even ask the waiter if they accept cards. We barely left enough for the tip. Too sad, the conversation was good, but I am not meeting him again! Thanks God he let me choose the restaurant and I chose a casual one
Ugh, don’t you hate when that happens? Feels like such a waste
I've relaxed into my femininity (dressing up more at work and the weekends, let the men pursue me, I don't reach for my purse when it comes time to pay, etc.) since watching your and other influencers' videos and things have been much better!
@@khwahishjoshi8789 yes!
@@katebretusch3752 hey Kate! I'd love to hear some of your recommendations!
@@prettyglowin694 thank you ill check her out as soon as I can.
Khwahish Joshi inner beauty movement by Nicole
@@joelyn2877 thank you!
"And take men out for dinner" *laughs in horror*
I laughed more than I should have. I love you Anna, you are the epitome of elegant savageness!
Unfortunately, in West Europe and the US 50/50 culture is really "popular".
In my opinion a woman must be financially independent but that doesn't mean that she has to prove it by paying the bill at the restaurant or treating man with a coffee for example. Men should be doing those things. They are inviting us out so they have to pay, it's that simple.
In some cultures it is disrespectful to the man if the woman simply offers to pay or tries to reach for her wallet or purse.
From my personal experience with an African/Arab man I can tell that he treated me like a queen when we were together. He wasn't a millionaire but his parents raised him right!
We get what we expect. I would never continue to go out with a man if he insisted on dutch on a first date, and if he is not a good tipper (in the USA). A man who is selfish with his money will be selfish in bed.
It can become popular all it wants but it’s down to the women to not continue dating them. If I was single and still dating I will never give a guy another chance if he asks to split. The way I see it.. if I’m going to split, I might as well go out with my friends instead of being cock blocked from much better options of men.
Elena my dear! love your writting! I love when you say... “a woman does not need to prove it ( that she is financially independent) great phrase. I’ll remember that!! xxx
@@fabolousreply Thank you so much for your sweet comment dear! We should all remember that phrase! We have nothing to prove!❤️
Elena ❤️
This is so refreshing, to embrace femininity. It's ok to be feminine.
If you want to be feminine, don't expect to be treated equally
Paying doesn't make you less feminine.
@@akasickform We don’t want to be 😊. I believe that men and women are complementary not equal. Plus if you’re gonna mention equality look up “equity” that’s more important than equality
You’re literally misogynist. This is literally internalised sexism. Me being feminine means I have to depend and rely on a man? NO THANK YOU. I can pay the bills myself, if you’re always relying on men to give you free meals, that’s just absurd.
I am so grateful that my dad always showed me how a man must treat you. He doesn't just say 'they need to respect you' but he showed it to me. He bought me gifts, when we were at a restaurant he would pay without hesitation, he showed me manners of a true alpha man.
Did he also teach you that women should show men respect too? Respect goes both ways. So many people want to treat women like their gods and are special beings. Women and men should be treated with respect not a man only having to respect and do something nice for a woman.
@@sucram1015 afterall we are the same species
Ur father lied to u about how special u actually are and filled ur mind with delusions that ur a princess
Yes ladies no need to kiss his feet its just food 😂😂..have some respect for yourself ladies
Yea like who wud want to kizz yo feet
😄😄😄
If you expect free food... stay away from me.
Islam is right about woman like @sarah hassam
@@selfaware3940 in Islam man is responsible for his wife and HE PAYS FOR EVERYTHING AND SHE DOESNT EVEN IF SHE IS RICH so yeah thanks God our men doesnt have your mentality of 50/50 🙄
I agree with Anna here: we CAN educate men by OUR own behaviour. A real man would not do anything that a real woman would not allow him to.
@@j.t.8816 How do you give off that aura of "im not taking bs" ? im trying to cultivate that so people dont test me
Amen and well said
Exactly
@You stole my burrito, Charlie Exactly. They either treat a girl well or they won't. This channel isn't about educatiing men. It's about screening and finding the right man. If they show signs of not wanting to spend money, that's a red flag. It means move on and date someone else, if not, in the end, you end up both unhappy.
@@PureeCharm you can buy a book about boundaries or there are some youtube channels on that topic.
this woman make me broke up with my cheapest boyfriend. million thank you anna you open my mind and make me know my worth. love you
Ladies there’s no excuse for paying on a first date if he cannot pay , then he cannot afford you pullout your wallet pay for your share then never see him again.
Omg I can’t believe men like this exist. My man pays for everything.
Dominique Jones same with my fiancé, he always pays for food too doesn’t matter if it’s groceries or dining out 💕 you look gorgeous btw 💓
Lucky lady...
Yes! Mine too. Like a true gentleman
As he should. You look great! 🙌🏾
Absolutely, it’s crazy that some men expect for the woman to pay. I won’t date that men again !
If he makes me pay then he won’t see me again.
In my case, if he lets me pay, he automatically gets into the friend-zone. It's just a feeling that takes over me.
If a guy doesn’t pay on a first date I wouldn’t see him again. Most guys I know and dated would pay sometimes but they can’t afford to pay every time.
Faerieshimmer Broke men
shouldn’t be having girlfriends. It’s very uncomfortable experience to date a broke guy because he can’t go anywhere or do anything. Netflix and chill is not my style.
Well said Ana. Men need to sort their lives out before they can even think about having a girlfriend.
You go girl ❤
Actually my current boyfriend was the one who taught me that. I would always split the bills with my exes (or just pay for it). My boyfriend now is a John Doe, he is still in college and has some simpler summer jobs and freelancer jobs in his field, but treats me like I am the most special lady in the world. Always paying in the restaurants, and pretty much every time he is with me while I am shopping for clothes, decoration or whatever, I obviously never go shopping for something that would be way too out of my budget. If I say I want chocolate he will take me to chocolate store and tell me to pick whatever I want. Some girls have seen him doing that and say he doesn't exist, well he does in our elegant world.
Question what do you do for him in return that would make him feel special, if your answer is look pretty or perform activities in the bedroom than I feel bad for him because he is gaining nothing from that relationship
@@Mannyman-sn4sc Some men enjoy treating their lady like a queen 👑
@@suzyocean7392 men enjoy treating their women like a queen when said queen is actually deserving of that title
@@suzyocean7392 any type of man that treats his woman like a queen and she herself doesn't have qualities that are deserving of that(like she only has looks and bedroom fun going for her and she is very masculine which most guys don't like) then he's basically treating her like that out of fear that she will leave
@@Mannyman-sn4sc I am deserving of that title :) It definitely takes more than just looks or sex.
Gosh I needs to say this.... When I was 15, a 17 guy dated me. We went to a mall, I think, and he said he was hungry. So he buy his self a hamburger. It was lunch time I was hungry too and he said... "Why didn't you buy something?" I didn't have much money that time so I said I wasn't hungry. I was very stupid because I dated him 3 times more and he never paid for anything :( I think... I even pay once for our buss tickets. Omg!!!!!
Good thing you learned young. At that age no one really has a lot of money unless your parents are giving you a good allowance or you’re working. But the fact that he didn’t even offer to split his food with you, showed he wasn’t caring.
*OMG THIS IS THE EARLIEST I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU AT EARLY SQUAD?*
How could a man provide for you for the rest of your life if he can’t pay the first date. It doesn’t make sense if a man ask you to go Dutch
I was waiting for someone to call it going Dutch! Hahah where are you from? I’m from PA
This!
Good point!
CLMama I’m from Vietnam
I don't know about that. I think you are wrong.
So true. I’m independent, work, make money to buy me whatever I want but it is so true when I have taken the initiative to be the caregiver it only bites back, men need to feel needed to be men. Or they become lazy, only users, and they start not caring taking more and more, and taking advantage of all the effort
Odd that sounds like my ex girlfriend who was with me for money
Sounds like something u should say about women
Wh ore
so to stop him from being a lazy user, instead you become the lazy user...great logic!
@@alex47_in_downtown18 These women lol
That dress is the epitome of elegance in my opinion. And thank you for this video! “You are educating him on how to treat you,” exactly! Take care and be well 😊
Ladies it’s a big sign how the relations are going to continue with such individuals if you allow them to pay the bill. For the rest of your life you would be paying. You don’t buy a man. You don’t owe a man who invites you to pay the bill or sleep with him. You owe it to yourself to express thankfulness without guilt!
Preach!
I totally agree with you. But now man are saying the same, that they don't buy the girl they want and we as woman shouldn't allow it. And I'm so conflicted, because I know my worth and men have to invest time, money and their presence. But with this thing of equality, radical feminism is getting really confused. My dad always tells me that women of today want the benefits of feminism and patriarchal system, and that's contradictory 🙄
@@marte1376 Isn't your father right? It was previously impossible for a woman to pay for a date( she was stuck at home and couldn't go to school). Now, women earn a lot(higher earnings than men for people under 30). The point of paying is gone. People want both systems benefits. Either you go full patriarchy or full feminism there isn't a middle ground.
Divin bebela kashala Feminism gave women a choice. So no it’s not either or like you say. If I want to be taken care of I can find a man that’s more traditional. If you’re a woman that wants to prove she’s equal to a man (I don’t because I’m not a man in any respect) then let her prove herself. Before feminism women never had the choice to be independent. Now they do since they don’t need a man to live their life. I say the smart woman takes full advantage and makes her own money while allowing a man the space to be a man. Some women think you can’t have both for some reason. You can even work from home as a stay at home mom doing TH-cam or other online business to have income. Save what you make for a rainy day and the man provides. Simple. And yes it’s possible because there are many women on TH-cam doing just that. Think outside of the box.
@@WellBeing999 It's not just women that have a choice, men also have the choice. The previous system prevented women from working, but it also forced men to pay for women. Now, that women work (and even outearn men for people under 30), men will of course step out of their previous duties. You can still look for a traditional man, aka a man that pays for you, but I can promise you that they will become scarcer and scarcer, because they will also wonder :"Why pay to be with her, when the other will pay her share to be with me." Both side will want a better deal and eventually compromise, thus the rise of 50-50 relationships. This is a well-known sociological phenomenon: in a binary social situation, you can't change the condition of one side without modifying the other side condition.
I really do hope that in the year: 2020; elegant ladies aren't still confused and know who is to pay on a date.
Split the damn bill sexist
@@eatthis6227 believe me I thought like this but later on man stop respecting you and feeling like he needs to do anything for you because you can do it alone and it starts 50:50 but it ends with you paying everything and he doing nothing
"elegant ladies" have been extinct since the 1960s. Honestly, I think that there should be equality. eg. why are women allowed to vote on matters like going to war when they are excluded from the draft?
Self Aware as a woman i can agree with that, women just want a free pass in life because they just so happen to have a vagina. like, it’s not fair
Hmm is "elegant ladies" doublespeak for lazy broke females who are too poor af to buy their own meal? Are these "elegant ladies" able to wipe their ass without a man's assistance?
Anna, you must talk MORE about this topic. This has been going on a while and MUST be stopped. The idea of gender equality when it comes to flipping the bill is cancer on our society. Please make it go away. Men must be held accountable for this behavior.
Gender equality when it favors you 🤣 Nop, this is going in the right direction, and people like you must be push away from dating.
@@xyanide0101 Well sorry about that but dating favors ladies like me.
The thing is, as women earn more and more money (by going more to college by example) compared to men.
It's going to be economically impossible for most men to pay for a dates there won't be enough guys for you girls to go around with.
@She’s so Lucky the wage gay doesn't exist, its an earnings gap that calculates the total income of men all around the world to the total income of women.
@She’s so Lucky then give me a source because they don't agree
When I met my husband he was a student who did not have enough money to pay for many dates. I had a good career. We split costs 50/50. We are still together 40 years later and he has been a great provider and we are financially well to do mostly due to his career advancement and financial savvy. I would have missed out on a good marriage and family if I had followed the advice of this video instead of following my heart. I wish that all of you elegant ladies find love.
Many ladies have fallen so far. This is 101!
I can’t believe so many women still grapple with this. I’m glad women are waking up though and finding channels like this. We have to lead the way!!
Exactly, imagine not educating the younger generation about these things..
Are there any more chanels like this you recommend?
What if it's not a romantic date, but just a friend date with a guy. I mean a date where I am not yet interested romantically and don't want to "owe" him anything?
Thesleepypoet I think if you are getting to know someone, go somewhere that does not cost money.
Thesleepypoet I personally would look at it how I look at normal friends. We pay for our own stuff. But one time a guy asked me out but we were just friends, and he paid.
The way I was raised my dad always paid for dinner when we would go out. He would tell my sister and I if a man is trying to split the bill with you never go on a date when him again
That's a good dad :)
That’s a terrible father
@@jungxehuin9404 nope it’s a good traditional father who doesn’t want a broke son-in-law. some men want the best men for their daughter. A lot of men prefer traditional gender role🤷♀️
@@Ok-ss9nd women complain about traditional gender roles unless it benefits them.
@@jungxehuin9404 not all women. Gender role are totally fine in my opinion. I respect women who want to make money by themselves and not follow gender role but for myself I prefer gender role my father and brothers always give me money if I ask 5$ they give 15$ if I ask for shoes they ask me the brand and they buy the shoes and clothes for me🤷🏾♀️but I always cook for them if they are hungry and I also clean and one of my brother pay my driving license and that cost 1200$. I was raised with traditional men so I ike traditionalism.
We get dressed get ready to go and we do take our time to get ready just to take our selves out and pay??? Never
Once a gentleman told me he was just starting a new job and didn't have much money, but would love to take me out when he got paid. I liked his honesty and the fact that he was trying to "lock down" a date with me for when he could treat me nicely. I told him he didn't need to have money -- that I knew lots of things to do that were free -- like concerts in the park, going to free lectures, free night at the planetarium, receptions for art exhibit openings -- dozens of fun, educational, elegant events. I showed him I wasn't materialistic and that I was creative and could adjust to any circumstances. Even though romance didn't happen we were good friends and had lots of fun together. When he could afford to take me out he made those times very special and whether it was a free event date or something else he always treated me like a princess.
As you should be treated.
That is a really nice story.
That's how it should be :)
loved ur story but I can't see why romance couldn't happen given that u weren't materialistic & entitled...
The men I dated throughout my life, and including my husband, would be insulted if I reached for my wallet.
Lucky you
They must be reasonably rich that's why
@@sreyas3144 um, no, they are just real men. I've dated the poorest of the poor, and men always pay. Its protocol, it's the social contract that men pay. Millennials have tried to change this protocol, and it makes women look desperate, while they are out on a date paying for his dinner. How appalling.
@@henoovyourslavangi8518 usually men pay in previous times is beacause ladies doesn't have job ,now in this recent period women are earning even more than men I think at least on the first date she should split , that's more reasonable don't you think so
Honest question : Where do you get such men ? I am surrounded by man childs.
In our first date, when we said goodbye, I said It's too late now I think I need a taxi. Then he replied, yes please book a taxi. And he did nothing, just say and nothing. Now, I feel luckly that that relatiobship went finish. Thanks God.
A man who doesn’t want to pay for you, simply isn’t interested enough in you and doesn’t even try to impress you. You don’t need billions of bucks to impress someone, simply show some care and effort when u hang out with them. THATS exactly how I know when someone is not interested in me😂
So why don't you pay for him??
@@sayanhalder6470 Because that’s so masculine. Women show they care in different ways
Good grief!!! I was raised by my dad and grandmother so I would never pay for any bill whenever a man (especially one with any romantic intentions) invites me out. The only man I will pay for that I dine with is my little brother. Even my gay male friends insist on paying, but I always reciprocate in some way. I always say thank you. One time in my early twenties an older man was trying to court me and at one dinner he told me he always pays whenever we went out so would I like to pay for dinner this time? I said no absolutely not, how dare you even ask such an insulting question. So he paid for that dinner and I refused to ever speak to him again. My father told me that if a guy asks me to pay a bill concerning a guy to never ever do that and furthermore to never continue communicating with any man who would make such a disrespectful inquiry or request.
EXACTLY! I am so surprised that women actually go and pay for bills. 💀
Your father is from a different generation. And in this generation Women have eviscerated Man’s desire to fulfill his traditional role. Get off your fluffy cloud and stop expecting Men to be old fashioned when you can’t even fulfill your role as a traditional housewife.
@@derkaiser9826 also kennst du sie persönlich? Wer sagt dir, dass sie keine gute Hausfrau ist?
@@LadyJani Wer hat dir gesagt, dass sie nicht deine typische Feministin ist?
Thank you! I was invited out for lunch on a first date. When the waitress brought the bill, she asked him, “would you like me to spilt the bill?” He told her yes! She came back with the two card holders and checks and handed to him. He actually opened to see which was mine and handed it to me! I paid and never went out with him a second time.
Omg, definitely not the waitress’s place and also no thank you to him.
Seems he dodged a bullet. Good for him!
@@vaxan5126 ok mr. 8 subscribers😂
@@Arkantosi yep, he’s all yours😂
@@cristineestrada6080 lol you’re so funny 😂😂 men who wants to go 50/50 should date other men
Believe me Ladies a man who has money but still stingy is 10 times worse than an average Joe ..
Yes, those are the dusties with a tie .... Ladies be careful at those ones, they are the worst!
Yeeesssss!!!
Totally
Duh sometimes he has an average income and goes out of his way to provide u what u need
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE LADIES IN THE BACK!!!
Me realizing that my boyfriend is treating me as one of his friends than a girlfriend. He's basically making me guilt pay. He's always complaining about not having money which i don't mind, but then again inviting me out and get this once the bill get to the table he's like "do we play rock paper siccors to see who pays". I'm a disappointment to all the ladies out there.
Omg seems like your dating a child
Whenever the bill comes, i turn over, reach for my bag and pick up my pocket mirror.. 😂⛏️
...at which point I'll be leaving the building with you having to pick up the entire bill
Don't worry, we know
@@akasickform 😂😂