After watching this,I feel as though my dad’s views was purely Islamic and I can’t find a fault in him .my father never forced us 5 siblings he was blessed man.i am from a Bengali family.
Im a black woman Revert & I find that certain ppl value culture more than religion. Im grateful that as Im in the process of getting married. The person(Arab) Im getting married to his family a r amazing towards me.
MashaAllah may Allah swt bless your marriage, I'm also a black woman and struggling to find a partner for marriage, my parents are reverts, and I sometimes feel like I don't fit in anywhere in the muslim community
Culture is used to manipulate control and abuse women Bengali culture allows abuse of all kinds to wards mothers wife sister Bengalis do not follow religion because it’s doesn’t fit there greedy selfish entitled lifestyle
@@siminshaikh7535 There are people who have gotten divorced after even twice and three times longer married and even more, that does not lessen the values and lessons they could pass on to help other people avoid getting divorced. By the human perspective it is sad that your parents got divorced, but Allah knows best.
@@siminshaikh7535 I'm sad to hear that. I know divorce can happen after a lifetime together, however we have so much more to learn from those with many years of experience over young people who have never or only been married for a few years. There is a wealth of experience to speak from even from divorce, where we can learn from their mistakes, learn what went wrong and broke a couple in the end.
I am Sylheti Bengali and got married to my Punjabi Sikh revert husband 10 years ago and during that time my family gave me such a hard time to the point my dad completely disowned me and my mum didn’t talk to me until I was pregnant with my eldest kids. Took time but my family love my husband now and he is the reason my family appreciate Islam & started practicing. Few months back my youngest sister got married to her German Turkish husband and my mum was excited for her Alhamdulillah! I was very strong minded on the fact that I did nothing against Islam by marrying outside my culture. Just to add my husband was a revert 2 years before we got married ❤
Some men don't want to marry more than one woman. Respect that. They just want a quality intimacy with one woman. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't make them leas of a man.
He never said that but if you put all factors away such as headaches, financially, etc, then all men do want more than one woman as it's within our biological nature. But that's in an ideal world, the reality is women are headaches lol
That too they choose a lot...as the akhi said, lightest skin, height, rich family, having job etc etc. I'm from Dhaka and it's Must here, other parts of the Bangladesh more less like this
Coming from an Indian culture, I resonate with every point that was made in this video. Allah grant our parents understanding and make it easy for those looking to get married.
@@hassyg4083 not really. The thought process exactly the same. However, there are differences when it comes to the actual wedding preparations etc. I would say the Bengali culture are more adventurous lol
I grew up with just a mum from the age of 3 ,there were 6 of us in a bengali household.my mum asked us to find people for ourselves as long as they are practising and they treat us well ,but did not want us to date anyone because it was haraam.I married a revert english brother just 16 years ago when it was still not that common but she agreed reagrdless of people's views .I think mainly it is the father who has the final say,they're a bit more strict,there is also outside influence from friends of the same background.Its brainswashing,they dont practise islam they practise their culture. After my marriage,my sister got married to a revert,and so did other members of the family. we need to show our families that islam is the only requirement.If they practise,they have taqwa,they udnerstand the do's and don't and to be honest,because of the culture clashes your less likely to get into eachothers lives.People from the same backgrounds have too much in common,they get too involved.If culture creeps into the household so does the rest of the family.We keep our family affairs private and no one delves into any one elses business. Culture breeds gossip and backward thinking,leave it at the door,its not needed.
Love this. Love Islam for its diversity when it comes to who to marry as long as Islam is the focal point and we are taking the prophet (pbuh) as our role model.
Just remember don't discount everything from your parent's culture just because of a few issues. When you grow up you will realize that their culture is a net positive compared to English culture which has far more issues. Immigrant's children who grow up in the West like us become Westernized and so we start seeing fault in our parent's behavior because it doesn't conform to what we experience in 90% of our life. So once you notice a few problems in the parent's culture, you start assuming the whole thing is weird. But really your just unknowingly assimilating to Western culture.
Why would your whole family marry another ethnicity? This is usually caused by Daddy issues and punishing the absent Dad by marrying someone outside your culture
Im bengali and my dad left behind all the backwards bengali culture and raised us strictly only upon Qur'aan and sunnah. I told him im marrying a jamaican revert sister and he's fine with it.
A somali sheikh in london made him realise what the Qur'aan and sunnah says, and he saw that his culture and family traditions came from his bengali hindu ancestors and not from Islam. So he left it all behind and made sure to raise his kids only upon Qur'aan and sunnah. @piqueny8872
The girl whose mom told Allah cursed her with a dark skin is prettier than all and I’m not saying the other two are not pretty, her skin, facial structure and eyes are all pretty
@@sareeyemanusqaame8723 Bilal bin Rabah (RA) had dark skin Prophet Musa (AS) also had dark skin. Are the most pious and beloved people to Allah “cursed” because of this? 🤦♂️
@@sareeyemanusqaame8723 I wasn’t talking about you, don’t worry brother. I’m talking about the ones who think dark skin is bad in some way. Now, if someone has a preference for lighter skin over darker skin, there’s nothing wrong with it because you can’t control what you’re attracted to. And of course different people are attracted to different things. But people should not look down on others because of skin color. That is very wrong and un-Islamic.
I am a Bengali and this is too true! Bengali post-marriage culture is really toxic. There are often always clashes between the mother-in-law and the wife. Stories of non-clashing loving relations are rare. Thanks @AliDawah. Us Bangladeshis should have had this discussion in our media. Much earlier and much often. That's a bit of a shame for us. This discussion is truly comprehensive as both sides get to present their cases. I can't imagine any better way to tackle this immensely painful issue - that causes married Muslims on both sides to cry or be stressed beyond words. Even Shaykh Abdurrahman Hassan from @AMAUofficial talked briefly about the problems in Bengali marriages. This is truly a century-old societal and cultural problem in this region. I heard the same stories from my grandma and my mother. And my aunties. Throughout the country. All corners. I don't want this to propagate any longer. Not to my wife. Not to my sisters.
I am immensely shocked how many problems and evil cultural practices creep into a society when the people don't adopt the way of the Salaf. Not just regular shameless desires (e.g. evil flirts with potential spouses and in-law sisters), but also outright shirk (e.g. touching elders' feet and them getting offended if not done) adopted from neighbouring Hindu culture. Also, outright evil deprivation of women's right in terms of inheritence by her own brothers. I ask Allah to guide these people or just make them taste a bit of His wrath. These people make so many women cry. Her own brothers deny her right to her father's property worth millions in our currency. So many women of this region are gonna enjoy justice in their Akhirah because how much deprived and oppressed they were. I don't have a sister. I am not married. My father divided his father's inheritance according to the book of Allah. Alhamdulillah! Still I find these things furious! Our scholars of sunnah warn people day and night about this. Some men are secularists. Some men are Muslims by name and deny their own sisters' rights regardless!
@@MuhammadBinZafar1 As a Bengali I’ll try to find a Muslim wife from another ethnicity, preferably a revert. Wallahi, everything our culture contains is against Islam. And we have the nerve to call ourselves Muslim! The nations that are further away from the Ka’aba are further away from Islam. Look at where Bangladesh is on the world map compared to other Muslim countries. Arabs are more committed to Islam Alhamdulillah (not all of course, but on average they are). Their women are more chaste and modest than ours, crime and immorality isn’t as rampant in Saudi Arabia as is it in the Subcontinent. Stuff like zina, alcohol, lack of hijab, not praying, etc. is punished severely. Even though they discriminate against South Asians (which is clearly wrong and against Islam) can you blame them for it? We’ve created a bad reputation for ourselves that cause the Arabs to dislike us.
@AliDawah It’s really sad that the first male panelist was being pressured into accepting polygamy despite clearly expressing his reasons why it’s not for him. Not all men are polygamous and to make out all men MUST have this nature, is a massive generalisation and not true. With the current polygamy obsession amongst male muslim influencers, lets remember that monogamy is the sunnah which our Prophet SAW practiced for the majority of his life whilst he was married to Khadijah RA, the love of his life for 25 years of his youth. The Prophet SAW professed his love for Khadijah RA was superior to all others on many occasions. It’s completely normal for many men to align with THIS sunnah and feel fulfilled by one wife. For this reason, I completely disagree with your attempts to make any man feel abnormal if they aren’t into polygamy! He SAW only practiced polygamy as an elderly man following the death of Khadija RA, for political reasons and during times of war when many men had been killed. Not to seek prettier and younger wives for his personal satisfaction. Rather the opposite, he married widows and elderly women with the exception of Aisha RA- will the men of today practice this sunnah of marrying elderly non-virgins? Also there are some cultures, where polygamy doesn’t suit their dynamics. In Bengali family dynamics where extended families often live together, lots of in-law clashes, jealous mother in laws - adding polygamy to the mix would be an absolute toxic disaster. So brother Ali I discourage your attempts to convince brothers it’s something they must all be thinking and doing - you are being extremely naive to the consequences. You need to accept, in some cultures its not a norm because it just doesn’t work with their cultural dynamics - so please stop forcing polygamy down everyone’s throat. Furthermore, to assume that generations of monogamous marriages wont affect a man or women’s preferences is extremely naive. Remember the Prophet SAW even forbade his son-in-law from remarrying as he knew it would hurt his beloved daughter Fatima RA who did not want polygamy. I find this propaganda many Muslim youtubers are pushing very irresponsible and badly timed. We are in a cost of living crisis, life in the UK is expensive, and many men struggle to put a roof over one wife and maintain just one family. The reality is, polygamy will put many families under substantial financial strain. With divorce rates also being so high, couples are struggling to maintain just one marriage, surely it makes more sense for muslim TH-camrs/influencers to focus on helping couples make one marriage a success, instead of preoccupying men with vulgar and selfish fantasies of multiple young wives.
Also the ‘don’t think about the stress or anxiety that comes with it’, but you SHOULD think about that. THAT is what makes or breaks polygynous households (not talking about whether the first wife accepts or not), but can the MAN deal with everything that comes with it. Also, feeling attraction towards another woman does not mean they automatically have to bed them. What happened to lowering the gaze, or not marrying unless you can fulfil the rights, or marrying to fulfil a sunnah, not simply your desires?
THANK YOU! To add to what you said, I've heard from a marriage course that there have been multiple cases of men who opted for polygamy only to regret it down the line. The video failed to address the rest of the verse "... but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." Also the fact that the concept of 4 wives didn't come as an allowance for men to marry multiple wives but rather as a limit/deterrent to what was happening at the time.
Scary times we live in. Imagine the kind of effect it could have on impressionable minds to have such practices with such serious consequences be shoved down one's throats so callously! It's honestly disappointing how in a lot of cases women are told to go out of their way to compromise and accept the notion of her significant other to bring in a second wife instead of teaching the men to be more responsible and be content with one wife. Smh May Allah protect us from all harm and all evils. Ameen
That’s why it’s so important for us to educate ourself in Deeni matters. We should learn from our parents mistake and make sure we don’t carry on their traumas to our children. No parent wants bad for their child. We just need to make sure we always speak to our parents in a respectful manner and you will notice that Allah will open their hearts to what’s Haq
Gald, someone is talking about this. Thanks for addressing the Bengali Issue Brother Ali! My mom is like that, too. May Allah make it easy for our Bengali brothers and sisters ✨️
My wife is Bengali 🇧🇩 & I'm Somali/Ethiopian 🇩🇯🇪🇹. Fortunately, I have a lovely family 🤲🏽. My Bengali in-laws have been so good to me. To be honest, I haven't had a lot of experiences with Bangladeshi people before getting with my wife. So I really don't know any of the negatives when it comes to culture other than what my wife tells me about bengali culture. I had a glimpse of it with my in-laws and they're extended family members. But every culture has their negatives. Nevertheless, they've been good to me. I wanna say it's probably because they're very religious. I mean, they follow the sunnah to the T! Allahumma barik 🤲🏽When we put cultural practices over our religion, especially when it goes against our deen, thats when we have problems. 😔
The local mosques should introduce a online database where our sons and daughters can register there details with there mehrams . Birmingham central mosque has implemented this service and other mosques around the country should follow suit ?This is a great service and is just a database for uk nationals 👍It should no longer be called a arranged marriage instead it should be refered to as a assisted marriage
the refusal of the bowing down to touch feet? makes me smile, i did this to my father in 2002 times when i found out it was haram, my father forced everyone to do it, when it was my turn, i was like "no" because my nana told me it was haram and when he asked? i quoted it, he gave me the biggest slap round my face 🤣 he was so angry, i felt great i didnt wanna touch his foot fungus astafurillah 🤣🤣🤣
@@j86485 🤣😂🤣imagine the 90's level bollywood sound affect, "TaaaaSHHH" thats the noise it made when he clarted me, that hand flew from one end of the room to the next 🤣🤦♀ the khobis knew no better it was 20 odd years ago its cool lol 😂 😂
It is a sign of respect to touch the feet of your mother or father or elderly or the elevated pious. It does not go against islamic teachings, as it shows respectfulness to a great level.
@@User-059-42 When you touch the feet of your parents you tend to bow down. We only bow down to Allah SWT. You can show respect by kissing your parents on the forehead.
My heart went out to the young lad who was forced into marraige, this has a lasting psychological effect on someone. This doenst just happen in the Bengalis culture its all over. My Brothers were forced into marriage as well and their marriage was abusive on their wives side, they made sure that they did not see their families, and they would send money back home and fill their pockets, hence the reason as to why they kept us out of my brothers lives.
Never marry an immigrant there intention is to steal your money and launder it to there families While ur live on the poverty line and claim food banks and government housing
After you pass your sell by date, the parents are like 'go and marry anyone, so as long as he's/she's a muslim' ...years later she's/he's still single. True story.
In the end parents stop being so picky (has to be only from a certain background). They realise so as long as they've found a good Muslim partner and are happy, that is all that matters.
@@roosworld4910 it’s a shame so many women wait until they have careers to get married. By then you are touching 30, not as agile as before and now you have to balance full time job, kids and husband. No wonder so many women end up burning out and divorcing. Too much to handle
Education finishes at 22 unless they've taken a longer route. Plenty of time for marriage. People don't have the right network to find a good partner. Then they become old and they still don't want to give up on their ideal partner. By then most younger females don't want to marry an older man. Older women, don't want a man with baggage from a previous marriage (most older people would have some sort of relationship history...children etc..) Marriages can break down from bad communication. Takes teamwork to run a household. Team work, makes the dream work.
36 year of brother married a non practicing Christian she giving him hell. He had to go to his disabled Moms house for Ramadan meals and Eid. All because he refused to follow Sunnah marry young and a wife with Islamic deen and character
Thank you once again brother Ali this episode into Bengali marriages, I am also Bangladeshi and a lot of work needs to be done especially educating our elders so that their children are also on the same page as them and will gain confidence in following the islamic traditions and Sunnah.
Bengalis worship there forefathers culture because it’s agree with theirs selfishness entitlement and greed. Religion give respect rights responsibilities for Everyone Even children have rights yet the culture still obeys family honor even if it’s means abusing the mom wife or daughters
As a bangladeshi I can say marriage has become the hardest thing in our country.That's why nowadays adultery is being normalised. (Na'ujubillah).Also the govt. of bangladesh is an anti-islamic entity.Pray for us. We don't know what's happening in the future . It's the only muslim country which has no border with another muslim country
It’s was never a Muslim country full of idolising culture worship Bollywood Indian seek traditions forced cousin marriages bride marriage to old nasty men abusive hidden marriages Mothers daughters treated like Sex slaves Bangladesh is and was never a Muslim country This is why the immigrants are applying for western countries to marry for the passport
Nope it is anti Arab. Too many bengalis with massive traumas from the past Arab invasions 😂 the Bengali people and their rich historic culture is sick of the Arabism that overtook our culture the last 4-5 centuries so machetes come out quick. You should leave if it’s a problem.
Colourism exists in all races. Lets be real. Not just bengalis. Blacks say lighty and darky to eachother, whites cuss ginger n pale people. Asians fair n dark.. its a human thing. Not cultures.
@@SRTV2022still an issue. People think dark skin is inferior.. That’s where the issue comes. Difference in appearance has nothing to do with the value of a person & Allah doesn’t accept this evil behavior. I’m lighter than every brother on this panel excluding Ali and still experience it with so called “Muslims” because my skin tone isn’t white enough😂
I have Pakistani parents and they told me if I don’t marry cousin I will have to stay alone forever and won’t take their responsibility which is in Islam to find me a spouse.
Asalamu Alaykum , if youre a sister then contact a masjid and tell them the situation they should be able to help you , this is opression , they cannot force you. If youre a brother then they cant force you either !
Salaams. I am a Bengali, Spanish & Caribbean Sister in my 20's born in UK. Been married for 5 years to a revert Subhanallah. On every show Ali tries to convince everyone that every man is polygamous by nature. I have never seen someone push a sunnah down peoples throats so desperately. I have been waiting for sisters or brothers on this show to stand up for themselves properly because so far the people who don't want polygamy have been silenced on the show. Brother I understand that you want to be polygamous and May Allah Make it easy for you. You want your wife to see that no man would happy with only be with one woman but many men actually are Alhamdulillah. The prophet (PBUH) when married to Khadija didn't marry another woman. He didn't even ask pray for anyone else Allahumma Barrik. This was the love of his life. The only way he would have married another woman would have been because Allah (SWT) directly told him too and that was the case when she passed and he married again. He was never one to chase polygamy but brother you seem desperate to make everyone see and feel how you do about it. Some men have found the love of their life too Subhanallah and would not want to marry again. Not because of finances or headache but because of the gratuity they feel to have such a great wife who has been there from the beginning and it fulfils him. You need to remember it Is not in some of our fates to live this way. Culture/law also affects feelings towards marriage. You can't undo generations of monogamy just like that the brain needs to be rewired this is systematic. The Quran shows us that such teachings come over time to ease the people into it. Me and my husband respect everyones choice in marriage however we do not want polygamy. You keep saying you challenge anyone who says different. If you really need a muslim couple to come on the show and show you different, that you can't be content and happy with one partner, invite us to the show but I guarantee you will be unhappy that you can't silence us or change our minds. Another great talk though, Jazak'Allah May Allah guide us all.
1000% How can he say unless you have issues mentally or are gay (implied) if you only want one wife atsagfirullah. that is so rude and disrespectful. some men actually love their wife so much and don't want to hurt her in this way. she is a human being. There are so many other ways to please Allah he would not punish us for staying with one so why would we force it. if a woman is happy with this then do it if she is not don't force that's not Islamic.
He says if a woman falls out of love with her partner she will leave him straight away this not true at ALL. Ali how are you calling yourself 'Mr Polygamy' when you don't even understand women properly let alone men lol So many women stay Loyal to their husbands even through the hardest of times. Even through pain. Same with some men. Polygamy is great for a man who is is naturally feeling more sex drive and wants do it in the halal way but there are so many men in the world who would rather focus on other things like building generational wealth and charity. We are seeing polygamy practiced so wrong these days.. isn't it better to stick to one and do it properly than have more and answer to your sins on judgement day for being unable to correctly take care of all those women and causing so much pain.
Walaikum as salam may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you sister: I talk about polygamy so obsessively because I know what decent men go through the moment they want to even think about marrying again, from being threatened with divorce, to being accused of rape, to not seeing their kids. Me being polygamy is no one’s business, so if you think I talk about it because I want to marry again lol is you seeing the pixel while I’m trying to show the picture. I noticed in your wording you keep saying WE when you talk about your husband not wanting a second wife, why are speaking in his behalf? Instead of saying He don’t want it, you keep saying WE. Now you are more then welcome to apply to the show with your husband, but let me ask a very simple question, IF your husband comes to the show and I prove he is actually polygamous, would you be ok with that? Would you be besides him? Or would you make his life a living hell? After you answer this question, think deeply about why “HE”or shall I say “WE” don’t want polygamy. Leave you husband with me for couple of hours and then we’ll see if he desires the idea of another woman or not, just don’t kill him after lol.
@@AliDawah Shouldn't it be made clear that you'd maybe want to marry another woman in the future when marrying your first wife instead of surprising her with the decision?
@@AliDawah Jazak'Allah for your response brother ... I understand that some men are mistreated in these matters but if you can see first hand the stress and pain it has caused for families why do you try to convince so many western living men to try to go down that road. Do you understand how many brothers struggle to find one good loyal and pious woman these days, why risk breaking the family unit why not just marry someone who is open to polygamy from the beginning to avoid family dispute? This seems most logical. Brother, I used the word 'We' once in my entire paragraph, because me and my husband often watch your show together and have these discussions during the show, Subhanallah. I have openly and honestly asked him about his feelings towards this topic (co-wives) and he says that isn't the life he wants to live. Your show does a great thing to open up these conversations but sometimes it feels like propaganda, censored to fit a polygamous lifestyle because when someone says that they don't want to live this way you quickly shut that down. Another reason I used the word 'we' (once) is because its a joint decision ... Have you forgotten how marriage works brother ? It isn't islamic to make big decisions about a marriage without both parties being involved and aware. Yes, you do have to tell your first wife about your second wife in Islam. There are no secret marriages. The children of one wife will be the half-siblings of the children of your next wife. The family has the right to know each other and your spouses deserve your respect and honesty. Secret marriages are not permitted by the majority of Sunni mad-hab. One of the requirements of a halal marriage is it to have witnesses and it public knowledge in the community, SubhanAllah its beautiful how our religion protects us all. If he ever did change his mind on this matter and came to me with honesty & respect, no I wouldn't try to make his life a living hell as hurtful as it would be I would be respectful and bow out gracefully. That's my intention.The old me would have probably put him on a shirt lol... Who knows in another 5-10 years time would Allah guide us and test us both with different feelings on the topic? I am always open minded to the fact that people and circumstances change. However, at this age, I know myself very well and can't see myself ever being a co-wife. Allah knows best.
Side note: I am a hijabi and I am making intention to continue to improve. My goal this year is to purchase some jilbabs and khimars as well as some more abayas/flowy dresses. I am a revert and alhamdulillah, my job is super cool with me wearing abaya etc (I live in FL, USA, and it has been a struggle, but now I am in such a good work environment by the grace of Allah swt). I just want to compliment how beautiful and modest these sisters looked. May Allah swt continue to have these modest examples for us sisters.
Asalaamu'alykum brother Ali, a reminder for myself always, but I think we Muslims have to be extremely cautious of exposing the sins of others, especially of our families. We want to protect the integrity of everyone especially if there are people watching who can identify the sisters and brothers speaking on your show- by extension the community would know exactly who have been doing wrong. I think there were very important issues raised, but I don't think it is correct to have it shared at the expense of shaming specific people. Unfortunately these conversations may be written down as backbiting, which we forget is a major sin in Islam. We can remove the personification and alter our language to say "I know of someone.." or "a relative of mine.." and so on and so forth. May Allah allow us to purify our hearts, minds and tongues, and forgive our shortcomings, ameen.
Exactly! These idiots, were exposing their own mother’s sins and bad habits, to the entire GLOBE! Are they that dumb? Once you say something on the internet and it’s posted on TH-cam, you cannot take it back, and it’s very hard retracting what they said, as it’s been recorded. They are very naive and immature in my opinion. So quick to denounce their own mother’s faults, but don’t address their own. It’s 2023 and that dude was an adult of legal age, where he should and could make adult decisions and choices, so it was HIS entire fault, for allowing his family to brainwash him to get married, but unless they forced him (by holding a gun to his head or black magic), he still could and should have said NO. Is he not a man, does he not have free will? That sister in the pink scarf, when talking ill about her divorce and marital issues, again online, she mentioned she married a man of a different ethnicity and got married in a mosque, so that got me assuming she did it behind her mothers back, without consent from her own mother (her only guardian), as she previously mentioned, her mother wouldn’t approve of intermixed marriages, so when the mother didn’t approve of her divorcing so quickly and asking wether she’s giving her husband a chance or taking on the tasks a wife should be doing, then she decided to again, ignore her mother and instead blast her online. What a bunch of entitled, ungrateful brats these parents have raised. Looks like Ali just popped down to East London and picked up the road men of Bengalis. Not a fair representation of your average Bangladeshi family. Majority of Bangladeshi households, have both parents and are pretty conservative, in a good way. Many have adapted the culture, to work better with Islamic teachings. I think the brother with the shades and the two sisters (who constantly interrupted the show), are exceptions. Imagine if that sister, kept interrupting her husband and wanted to be in charge all the time in her marriage, then it’s not really surprising, where things may have spiralled. If she wasn’t affording him his rights as the man of the house, then how could he afford her her rights. Do they even know what their rights were, I mean, did they even discuss this before rushing to the mosque to get married? Thats why it’s important for women to have a wali before making that huge decision in choosing who they will spend their life with. Ali really, should have brought those topics up, because that is part of the marriage topic, making sure, women are protected and not taken advantage of. May Allah guide us all, Ameen.
these guys didn't do a good job. felt like they jus wanted to get their crazy stories out there, which is weird given they didn't blur their face so their whole community knows their family's problems. only time there was mention of religion, it was mainly coming from Ali. they didn't even answer his questions properly, but instead jus started tangenting and ranting abt bengali culture. they didn't even mention a prominent part of bengali marriage like CVs etc. also, them talking abt "hindu culture" and stuff like "khodom busi" (the touching the feet of an elder), they are in no position to be making rulings and deeming things as unislamic when their ignorance is quite apparent. idk why, but it seems like their mission was just to make bengali culture seem rlly bad. at no point was there any praising of the culture/higlighting anyhting good.
*Reasons Why Pakistani, Afghan, Indian, Bangladeshi, Iranian, Arab, Central Asian, and Far East Asian Girls Should Never Date and Marry Black, White, and Hispanic Men:* *Please do not forgive that detrimental and facist Black American guy who committed the biggest crime of all crimes. Just to get a round of applause the idiot and attention seeker father of that poor guy who lost his life very painfully in the hands of that detrimental and facist Black guy, the father forgave that detrimental and facist Black guy. I am a Pakistani American with Indian roots and I have dark brown skin color, and White Christian Americans and Jewish Americans including White Cops, White Prosecutors, White Court employees, White school Principal, White and Jewish Dean of Students and Professors at universities always protect their detrimental Black, Hispanic, Filipino, South Korean, Pakistani and Indian Christians men and women whenever they commit crimes against me and other dark brown South Asian Muslims so that those Whites could use those Blacks, Hispanics, Filipino, South Korean, Pakistani and Indian Christians against Muslims politically, socially, legally, militarily, judicially, geo-politically, sexually, in America and outside of America, and now White Muslims like Eddie, Turkish Kurd like Ali Dawah from The U.K who is married to a Black Somali woman, and the Oriental father of this poor and innocent guy who got murdered forgave that detrimental facist Black guy just because the Black guy cried in Court. So, my question to Eddie and to Ali Dawah is that if someone murders your son or daughter and starts crying in court then does it mean that you will forgive him just because your religion of Islam is teaching you to do so? If your answer is NO then you are hypocrites and fake.* *Don't forget that Islam encourages Muslims to execute a murderer in public so that public can learn a lesson and have a fear of execution from a public execution.* *I am a Pakistani-American and I have dark brown complexion and I have become a victim of Black racism and Black fascism many times in America at work place, universities, etc. Blacks violated me out of jealousy and because of colourism in their culture and because I also have dark brown complexion, therefore, Blacks violated me whenever they observed that I was getting a lot of attention from White men and White girls at work, at my universit, and elsewhere. When Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Jews, Chinese, Indians, and Bangladeshi guys see different colours of Pakistani and when they see dark brown skin colour Pakistani guys dating or married to light skin colour Pakistani girls then they try to be a part of Pakistani culture by asking Pakistani girls for dates and by giving Pakistani girls marriage proposals based on their materialistic lust for light skin Pakistani girls, because they think that if dark skin Pakistani guys can get married with light skin Pakistani girls then light skin Pakistani girls will also let those Black, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys to marry them not realizing that in Pakistani culture we don't have any colourism and dark brown skin color Pakistani guys are Pakistani but certainly not African Black, Indian, and Bangladeshi, therefore, Pakistani girls, no matter they have brown or light skin, should never date and marry Black African, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys at all. Blacks at my work place and university never violated Whites, Hispanics, Jews, and other light skin races, but they only violated me because of my dark brown skin colour, because of my religion of Islam, because of my origin of Pakistan, and because they were jealous to see that I was getting so much attention from Whites and simetimes from Jews, Chinese, Arabs who physically look kind a European, Iranian, etc. I have lost several jobs because of Blacks violated me at work but I had to pay the consequences because Whites, Jews, Hidpanics, and fake and shameless Muslim workers from Morocco, Bosnia, Turkey, Pakistan, India, and Iran supported Blacks in violating me. Blacks also supported anti Muslim and anti Pakistan Whites and Jews in committing crimes against me at my university and in court cases. Black colour their hair blond and red but it becomes very hard for them swallow when I colour my hair red or orang by using Henna on my hair. Blacks in America often rob gas stations, and 7-Eleven, and other small businesses and murder Pakistani, Indian, and Bangladeshi workers. Blacks often brutally assault and rob Pakistani, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys out of racism and jealousy in America. So, Don't feel sorry for these hypocrite, fascist, racist, violent, criminal, sex addict, creepy, and weird Blacks Americans and Black African immigrants who are religiously Christians. Black men along with White men often become Muslims because they have lust for light skin Muslim girls and because they want to marry virgin and light skin Muslim girls. Indian and Bangladeshi guys also keep lust for light skin Pakistani girls from northern Pakistan.* th-cam.com/users/shortsScRK70BWsn0?si=uSXCJa_haClpYmKO th-cam.com/video/feMtuMP2YVI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=quNp5_a59vAIkbHg
I remember a time when the older generation used to feel disrespected by their children speaking up with Islamic facts. Then there was growth, where they accepted 'it is okay for the elders to learn from the young. It's not disrespectful'.
The issue of racism because of skin tone is a major issue in Bangladeshi culture. May be not that much for men but I’ve seen a lots of women being rejected just because she doesn’t have a fair skin tone. Many people have this mentality that if the girl is not fair skin toned she’s not qualified to get married to them/ to their son, no matter how much qualified she is. I know not everyone thinks the same but as a girl with slight darker skin tone I’ve heard from some of my friends and relatives that it will be difficult for me to get married and I should do something about my skin tone like using products that can lighten the skin tone 🙂 when I said I'll marry someone for whom my skin color won't matter, they thought I was being arrogant.
The level of invisible trauma, people pleasing, gaslighting, narcissism, emotional abuse, enmeshment, codependency, religious abuse, conditional love, mind control, invalidation, oppression, emotional neglect, covert blackmail, victim mentality, fear, guilt toxic shame, obligation and total loss of autonomy, authenticity and lack of individuation and self is why bengali people(especially daughters) need compassion, understanding and empathy because the level to which one’s self esteem has to be decimated to be okay with forfeiting self as well as to level level to which self splitting tactics needs to be implemented so that the child’s self worth is completely externalized and placed into the approval of parents is criminal(I say this respectfully). This is why those marriages are filled with misery, trauma, betrayal, hurt and more trauma now imagine what a codependent people pleaser and narcissist will produce, a traumatized child and normalized Dysfunctional parenting, toxic relating, a loveless environment ripe with emotional abuse, gaslighting and control modeled for the offspring to repeat for the next generation. This was so brutal to see and sadly the trauma is normalized and pushed for generations in these families by using unconscious coercive manipulation tactics of control. My heart goes out to Bengali’s and awesome video. Cheers from Newyork it’s so awesome to see you using your voice to expose what’s really going to the rest of the world.
To the sister who’s mum said she was cursed by Allah for her skin - you are beautiful inside and out, you have skin many many women desire, you are a very beautiful woman. To Ali, I personally know men who’s wives who have told them to get a second wife due to a lack of libido on their part, and the husband has refused himself as he recognises he’s 1. Not financially capable and 2. He cannot love a second wife the way he loves his first, and he cites that the prophet SAW was also satisfied with Khadija AS for 25 years, so personally I think you’re deflecting and think that every man is like you, it is disingenuous how much peer pressure you put on men to agree with you, every single time, when there’s a brother who disagrees with you multiple times, you don’t give up on trying to convince him until he agrees with you, this is not Dawah, polygamy is not obligatory, you spend much less energy on trying to convince the men to be emotionally mature and how to get to that point, you want them to get the result without putting the work in. It’s people like you that are the cause of young people divorcing at such a high rate, they go into a fantasy that you’ve painted for them, and are not prepared at all for the work that they need to put in, even the prophet SAW put in 25 years of monogamy. Also, practice what you preach, you apparently are so self aware and confident in your beliefs yet you only have one wife? What is it that you’re hiding from brothers and deceiving them like this? Go and get yourself a second wife, a third and a fourth, and then come and talk, as if brothers don’t have enough to deal with you are creating more fitnah for them
I think the prophet's example just explains it all. That having 1 wife usually is sufficient but when situation arrives polygamy becomes necessary. That's why men are polygamous.
Exactly...this is what I wanted to say. I am bengali, married into north african culture, it's all same.. the husband becomes emotionally unavailable around his mother, his mother is toxic, creating problem, but the husband...... really self centered
I’m from Bangladesh. Alhamdulillah when I was 18 my parents told me I’m free to choose my life partner, if the man is a good Muslim, if his character is good then it doesn’t matter who he is or where he’s from. They just want me to choose someone who I’ll think will be good for me or I can be happy with him. They have gave me the permission to choose whom I want to marry when I wasn’t even considering getting married anytime sooner. I’m now 21 and when I told my mom that I would like to marry someone from other culture, she’s okay with it. She says as long as you can find someone who you can be happy with it’s okay.
That’s good. I am a mother and I told my daughter and son that they can marry to the person of their choice but the person has to be a good person. If his or her character good and my daughter and son think they would be happy with that person, I would be okay with them. At the end of the day it’s their life and they had leave with their partner. So their happiness is very important
In a hypothetical world where beautiful women come to me and say they are ok with me marrying both and won’t cause me any headaches and I am financially secure, of course anyone would get married to both. However we live in the real world in a society where it takes 2 incomes for 1 family and where polygamy is seen and often felt as cheating. To understand this reality and admit that you wouldn’t be mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with two wives is mature. The Quran says “ if you can’t do justice then only marry one”.
The sisters who’s been told she won’t get married because of her skin tone 💔 My sister if you see this comment I want you to know you are BEAUTIFUL Ma Sha Allah ❤️
I really respect the man in the middle , he experienced trauma bcuz of his mom and the culture , yet he still respects her and is obedient to her . I can see how much he has suffered bcuz of this Also the pionts the girl on the left makes are really interesting , she also suffers from this culture , yet still holding herself together . I respect them , and there's a lot to learn from them all , specially the suffering of those two . Nñ
Marriage is not a bollywood romance. The older generation had sabr. They still got through it. Young people just give up. Men need to take care and respect women, women need to act like women.
Interesting, the very city from where all those people originated is converted to Islam by 360 Yamani saints. I think they were born and raised in the UK but kept their language alive.Yaman has a special place in their hearts
@@Browneys4U the Yemeni episode would have Yemenis representing it, I don’t think a Yemeni is gonna try to slander Yemen. But I understand what your saying.
@@ma-sal5831 they might get people that respect the tradition and culture, but they might also get people who will disrespect and call the tradition and culture "backwards". "we know better "
Our bengali parents have lack of education and they are very toxic they don't value the emotional well being of their children. May Allah SWT guide them & help them to understand our deen.
Bengali wedding steps: 1- Dekha dekhi- groom & his family go to see her first, then brides side go to see his house and fam. 2- sini-fan- an engagement party, brides given a ring and some clothes. Mahr is discussed, this includes how much gold will be given, and how much land or money. 3- dowry- bride side buy furniture for his house, nowadays it’s mainly bedroom furniture, olden days it was literally furniture for downstairs and appliances for the kitchen, dinner sets, all kitchen utensils and that. 4- Mendhi ceremony separately for both sides 5- nikkah just before wedding day or on wedding day. 6- wedding day, usually bride side pay for feeding guests on this day, but if they decide to do walima and wedding together, then both sides split the costs. 7- bidai- bride moves to grooms house, and literally marries his family too 😜 8- mas kata- fish cutting ceremony 9- nasta- brides family come down to grooms house with loads of nasta (bengali sweet & savoury snacks), this is another party itself. 10- arai din- after a day and a half bride and groom go to stay at brides parents house. I think this is all lol
@@fardinaahmareen4869 of course! This’ll be done night before wedding. A turmeric paste will be applied on bride and grooms face, arms & feet. To give them a glow on the wedding day.
Sounds like BS to me. Insha Allah I’ll find a girl whose family actually prioritizes Islam over culture so they don’t care about these things. We should make nikah affordable and not an hodge podge of all kind of cultural stuff.
Brother Ali, I kiss my mom's feet its ok nothing bad or prohibited in Islam or either shirk if you kiss your mom's feet it's a blessing from ALLAH. Free Palestine 🇵🇸 love from Pakistan.
kissing the feet of a parents or elders is a cultural innovation. This practice originated from hinduism in India. I wanted to let you know since you're muslim.
Why not bring Bengalis that are married or even a variety of ages not those that are young and in their 20s? These are some Bengali’s that are clearly disobedient as you could tell by the girls and how they were speaking. Please bring some educated Bengalis that can articulate their words Ali not just those that would bring some controversy. Just a suggestion no hate and all love.
Your ignorance is over the roof, just cause they are speaking about their own culture, that they know very well you apparently think they are disobedient, and this is also you infantlizing the younger generation thinking they don't know much and apparently the older generation knows more than them, sometimes you do learn a lot of stuff from the younger generation not everything has to be from the elder people, you are the problem so may you never speak again with that ignorant mouth and head of yours.
I honestly don’t understand why people are so forceful in marrying someone their parents don’t approve or outside of the culture. I understand it if you are “in love” which is haram anyway, but if you are not then just marry someone you can both agree on and live in peace. Stop pretending it’s because he/she is a good muslim, there are plenty of if good muslims that your family can agree on.
Assalamu Alaykum brother/sister, I get where you are coming from but you’ve got a couple of false assumptions. Firstly you assume that their love is haram which isn’t always the case. Secondly it’s their right to choose their husband/wife. In many cases it’s the parent who are in the wrong and push back (with respect) is needed
@@blacc6326wsalam With respect that isn’t true, because if you are in love, then likelihood is you are meeting a non-Mahram without the presence of a mahram, so therefore Haram So can you really fault the parents for not agreeing
People have preferences. There is nothing wrong with it. Their parents do not have an Islamic right of rejecting in the first place, if the persons religiously upright.
@@user-fk7sk9ut1t I would advice you to read 49:12. I know exactly how you are thinking, but you have to combat that mentality. You will start thinking (if you aren’t already doing it) that everyone is doing it in the haram way and that the halal way is close to impossible. Judging people will become easy and that’s the trick of shaytan
I couldn’t even finish watching this, stopped midway. The two sisters seem so immature, how old are they? Saying their mom who is a Muslim doesn’t know Allah? They were constantly blasting their mom. The problem with most Bengali kids is that either they are too obedient to parents at the cost of their own happiness or they are extremely rebellious. The youth need to be balanced and stand their ground. Also, are they all Syleti? They normally aren’t even allowed to marry people from other parts of Bangladesh forget inter-racial. Many Bengali parents are accepting of interracial marriages now a days. Seems like the two sisters here just wish to marry outside of their culture but can’t and so are complaining here.
Also, I really enjoy a lot of Brother Ali’s pov. However, I think brother you are narrowing a woman to ‘one type’ by saying she is only happy with one man. If women were allowed Islamically to marry multiple men at once, you would see how many would not just stick to one man. But the only thing that would stop most would not be the lack of desire but coming back to the fairness point. So men aren’t the only ones who might desire to be sexually active with more than one person. Women and men BOTH feel that way. You could do an anonymous voting to see it for yourself, but if both men and women are asked to be honest, many women would tell you this.
Very brave of you to speak in this topic. I know how hard it can be talking about your own community. Thank god for multiculturalism. 🎉 things are definitely moving in The right direction. And I love how the new generation are able to separate religion from culture 😊
Great conversation & certainly a breath of fresh air looking at something like this Vs the red pill conversation from Miami selling ladies lacking intelligence, proper clothing, careers, pride, shame etc. Compare East to West standards, I think the question answers itself. There will always be challenges but certainly great conversation 🙏🏽
These kids don't empathise with their parents. Yes explain to them etc but the one girl said "my mom doesn't know who Allah is” what a bold and sad statement to make about your own mother. Recognise the one who taught you about Allah swt in the first place.
I didn't like where brother Ali put the brother beside him in a situation about polygamy where he was clearly uncomfortable. Clearly brother Ali couldn't accept the different opinion of the brother and had to make sure at the end he somehow agreed with Ali. I personally agree with my brother Ali here but I wouldn't like to be in that situation that Ali put the brother beside him in. #FreePalestine I notice the free Palestine flag in the top left corner of the screen.
Respect to the very very patient and well mannered brother sitting closest to Ali Dawah not least for responding calmly to the question 'are you muslim' (minute 35:00) *facepalm*. Let's learn to treat each other respectfully.
@@co2_consumer409 the respectful way to set up the point would have been to say 'as muslims we should....' or 'islam teaches us to...' as opposed to patronising a fellow Muslim.
Feminism in bangladesh is increasing more than any other muslim countries.....I am from Bangladesh..... here male authority is not respected...in government jobs , women are given more priority.....more and more women are encouraged not to marry before building career.....all my male neighborhood obeys their wife..things are worsening day by day..... government made a law here that men should take permission from first wife to marry second time....... Imams of masjid are busy educating men to be more tolerant towards their wife instead of teaching how to take down feminism........most Imams never speak of male authority.......our textbook of schools are filled with topics saying harmful effects of male authority.......
The parents has no right to force you to marry someone. Because in Islam, it's totally prohibited. So what you have to do? First, discuss with your parents kindly about the free choice as a right islam gives to every muslim whatever man or woman to choose the partner he/she likes. If it's difficult. Second, approaches the relatives whose your parents are close the most and be sure that they talk with opened mind on this subject. If it's difficult ! Third, go to see an imam and explains him the situation. Invites him at home to talk to your parents. If all theses ideas fail. The last resort is to desobey your parents. Desobey your parents and shows them that Islam prohibited forced marriage according to the verse 19 of surah An-nissa, chapter 4. But do it respectfully. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'Ala gives the right to desobey the parents when the parents force you to do something wrong according to the verse 15 of surah Luqman, chapiter 31. End, make dua for your parents and ask Allah to change the heart of your parents. In Sha Allah, they'll change ! 😊
alhamdulillah im Bengali but my parents are very understanding Bengali parents, in the sense they are very open to marrying whomever we would like as long as they fit the basic requirements a muslim man needs and so forth, but they are also open to us marrying outside of culture. perhaps this is because my mother was born here and dad came to the uk quite young, and because they're quite young and modern, they're in their mid forties to fifties and im now 20.
@@MohammadMostafi-j1gWe shouldn’t discount culture, unless it goes against Qur’an and Sunnah. No people or tribe, should look down on their culture, unless it goes against Islam. Arabs, Europeans, West Asian and Africans all are proud of their culture and we see it in their marriages, but it only becomes a problem in South Asian marriages. Why are the younger generation of South Asians, denouncing their culture, to fit in with other people? It’s that inferiority complex, where they think the other man’s culture is superior. We need to stop this victim mentality, and just fix the haram elements in the culture, rather than getting rid of it all.
Its interesting to listen to what I would say "young" people (I'm like 10-15 years older). I feel like many of these things have been fixed in the generation before me (like touching feet etc). As I am from London, maybe its different. I'm thinking Bengalis up north (based on the speakers accents) is still very traditional (or at least continue the strict traditional stuff that isn't Islamic). It would be good to also hear "older" people who have married and looking back at their experience.
Yes bro, my family stopped touching feet 25 years ago. I think this group is probably the last batch of British Bengali 2nd generationers, or they could have one 1st generation parent, which carries on the cultural baggage.
I don't think its a generational thing. I think its more this audience is young and likely the ones that have gone through stuff has had bad experience. They are also using their own modern/western filter to describe things. Which is fine, that's their opinion, but I don't think it helps them understand their parents.
SubhanAllah how can your mum tell you “ you have no chance getting married bc you’re a dark skinned” walaah you’re beautiful more beautiful than your light skinned sister! May Allah give you a good righteous husband hugs from London 🤗🤗
for bangladeshis, I think another factor is that they are less likely to know english vs other groups which also leads to them to being more traditional. south asian culture is very family oriented with the parents having highest authority. the son's wife is also supposed to be following the son's mother and living with them, so that's easier done if they are both from the same culture. many bangladeshis are also very alone, so they have nothing besides their family. the first generation being raised in the west is going to have a very hard time appeasing themselves and their parents. south asian marriages are also far from being love marriages, so anything that has to do with "finding someone compatible" is a completely foreign concept to traditional south asian families. there's pros and cons with both sides.
The question should be how do you know someone is good before telling your parents? Unless you are meeting him / her which is haram . I'm not backing the older generation, but it worked, the divorce rates were near 0% , now we see divorce left right and centre, most of these are love marriages. Love after marriage is a winner
@EdwardHohenheim no mate, maybe your mother suffered but everybody I know is good and happy with their arranged marriage. I said NEAR 0% compared to today's rates ,obviously i do understand not all marriages will work out that's why there is the option to have divorce. Mine was arranged as well, I had the option like MOST people to choose out of a lot of brides to be. Every Muslim parents want the best for their children
30:56 Allahumma Barik Br. Ali, that was a very real and sensitive confession. I love the fact that despite that you don’t take a victim mentally and stay steadfast on deen. May Allah guide your father and may keep all of us on the straight path
The zina story really got to me. SubhanAlla, its really tragic that it went there. Parents really need to understand their kids more and not be such dictators to them
@scaryjoker why? Out of all the pathetic things people can do in this world, why would you say that asking for a certain story's timestamp is "So Pathetic ??"
We were talking issues that plague our society also we all we were talking some about our personal issues & experiences, also speaking on general terms not once we said everyone or every single Bengali family are the same we said this in this in this video , my brother IA marrying a revert Muslim sister so things are changing , , you may not know me or my struggles which is between me and Allah swt so doing these type of videos is bringing Islam to the forefront than the Hindu. Culture that got mixed up in our Bengali culture, but it seems you got the wrong end of the stick l literally said every single hse hold is different everyone isn’t the same , I’m guessing ur from back home / Bangladesh 🇧🇩 that’s why it seems to me you got offended but if you play it back you will clearly see / hear I made that distinction ☝️🤲👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 I’m going have to do a reaction video to this get few things cleared up , my phraseology wording came out wrong, so I need to clear up & make some corrections or bit more clear IAon my channel or if we do another episode IA , I will make reaction video soon IA☝️🤲🇵🇸🇧🇩🇬🇧
I swear man I kiss my mums feet doesn’t got to do with Islam but her feet she can step on me wallah she raised me and brought me up and gave me love and care kiss her hand and feet
Annoying. Quran says if you can’t be just, marry one. Why is the host isn’t mentioning that? Why not let a man have his preference? Nabi SAW was married to only Khadija until her death….
'We never doubt our parent's intentions' - that is very naive mate. Earlier in the conversation, the young brother said his mother was looking for someone to take care of her in her old age. The young brother's mother wasn't looking out for him but looking out for herself.
A broader range of ages and backgrounds would have been more beneficial as these youngsters cute as they are have a limited understanding, you will get a massive difference in opinion depending on the region of Bangladesh you come from
Ali portrayed Bangladesh in such a negative way, it’s insane. These kids are from the poorest and most uneducated part of Bangladesh, they are disgrace to their own community. Only hybrid Banglis will agree with them. The whole conversation was a completion of feminism and western alienated culture, they happen to born in a Bangladeshi family. They don’t know or understand the culture identity and values of Bangladeshis.
I think br. Ali and others in the community want to bring awareness to the demographic of the first time marriage to address the problem of the increasing divorce rates. Especially for the Muslims with strong cultures living in the west. Many of them are first generation.
@@America_1st_the.rest.r_lastAli wants to destroy the beautiful variety of Islamic cultures around the world and turn all Muslims into some monotone Arab loving race.
My father stopped talking to my Bengali uncle all because he married a Latina revert. Hopefully sending this video to him might change his attitude to interracial marriages.
@@Nikko649 I agree but as we blame on parents that they don’t know much about islam or follow islam so if we know so much we should follow it and do as it asks
@@Haaireofficial we are all at the age where we shouldn’t blame others for our own decisions. Yes it shouldn’t be an issue, though again. It is not for everyone
Our parents are always "right". We can not tell them what they do wrong. When they realise they are wrong and wants you to involve the Situation, we stay away from the Situation, i think we are not doing wrong.
Thank you for this show Brother Ali❤. I also learnt that when a brother or sister is strong minded/follows Islam, they have good knowledge, maturity and intelligence. Honestly Brother Ali, you are an example
Bowinng down an touching an elders feet is seen as a mark of deep respect in the Bengali culture and the rest of the indian subcontinent. Its a way of showing respect and seeking blessings from the elders. This has got nothing to do with Islam or religion. Its more of a cultural and social custom prevalent in the indian subcontinent. This should not be considered as anything bad or being subordinate. It's just a local tradition.
@@El.Generico You are not bowing down in that sense!! Its not an act of worwship but more of a South Asian custom and tradition of showing respect and seeking blessings from ones elders; This is not to be confused with religious aspects of bowing down to Allah and most people are sensible enough to know the difference.
This culture issues are not just in Bengalis but also in Pakistanis. We literally have same old fashion parents who never agree they are wrong or they can make wrong decisions and they put culture over religion. You are right we have to break up the cycle and educate them but sometimes they are stubborn and want things there way
Just because a man doesn't want to marry more than one woman, doesn't mean he's not emotionally intelligent. He is smart and knows he will get more out of his woman, the more he gives to her. He spread himself to other women, he will be missing out on the full experience of the woman that he has. Women have a lot of love to give. Some women though are suited for polygamy. So are some men. It is not for everyone. Stop trying to convince men that they have something deficient in them if they do not want more than one wife. Some people are content with one.
I too think it’s disgraceful that he attempted to say something was “wrong” I.e gay with the man who doesn’t want more than one, would love to ask him what he thought the Prophet SAW was when he was a young good looking man married to an older woman monogamously for 25 years, would he say the same about him!
This is a mix of western, Asian and a Middle Eastern religion. Most second and third generation Bengalis can’t even distinguish what they represent, let alone getting married to next person. The issue in this video has jumped into faith before culture (ofc God comes before all else) but the point here is you can’t erase historical baggage that easily. I’d say the conversation needs to start with why do we hold onto a set of practices that don’t fit the pace of 2nd and 3rd generations rate of learning. Mums and dads in this community still hold high value to wisdom, old age , and community politics. Taking a higher ranking before islamic scripture; the internet brought an unparalleled generation that can’t work within the old school framework simple. UPDATE* tldr: you can’t both be right and do wrong.
When she said her Mum doesn't know who Allah is because she doesnt read the translation of the Qur'an and they need to know who Allah is was bang out of order, every relationship with Allah is personal, dont think you know better than your parents in that sense because you can read and that makes you think you know who Allah is, as if it's in a 3rd person context.
Nothing wrong with what she said at all, avoiding the issue and making excuses like you is far worse imo. How is a Muslim supposed to understand the deen if all they do is recite Quran, and not try to understand the meaning of matters in the religion? Alot of south asian parents are like that, hence their kids become corrupt as theres a lack of tarbiyah from the parents at home.
It's not just the man's emotional intelligence, but it's also the expectations of women. What constitutes the following : 1 - what is treated fairly/unfairly ? 2 - wife's expectations? 3 - is a wife's emotional outburst justified ? 4 - understanding the husband can't be in 2 places at once. 5 - the wife's understanding of the other wife's needs. Etc etc etc. to elaborate a little. Anyone can claim they are being treated unfairly , who decides the standards ? Wife no:1 may want to go on a holiday , but wife no:2 may need a boiler fixed for heating. If the husband chooses to fix a boiler as it's fundamentally a necessity and a holiday is a luxury, would wife no:1 claim being mistreated ? If wife no:1 kicks off and is unreasonable is that the fault of his emotional intelligence? So I give this analogy to point out that women need to take responsibility also and not just dump the responsibility and blame on a man's emotional intelligence.
Most of the points here also happen in my African Muslim culture as a Malian from west Africa. The marring Someone from ur culture only doesn’t matter if they are Muslim I had the talk when I was a teenager, the same with the mahar in my culture it is never discussed with the woman just the man and her father or uncles, to not divorcing when there are major problems to safe face or they will disown you. Many African men not having the means yet marrying multiple women where now she has to go out and work or he neglects one in favor of the other etc. I and my cousins had these culture struggles to go against Islam when culture is wrong but is still used to pressure us to do things and it causes harms we have to bear and injustice we suffer from when they are not even part of the deen. Omg I am so happy I watched this I thought I lived in an alternate universe. I hope you can do an episode like this with west African Muslims as I did saw the Somali episode but we are still different. Although it seems it’s the same clash if haram culture and Islam.
Our parents grew up in a different era, they only gained the most basic Islamic knowledge ie salah, zakah, hajj etc; they weren’t exposed to fique side of Islam, hence the gap of knowledge in that side of the Islam. Anybody with pure Islamic knowledge would never force their children against their choice of marriage. Alhamdulillah, second and third generation of parents are definitely changing and inshaAllah they will continue to change with more Islamic knowledge.
The best episode our brother and sister bangali same as other cultures alot of cultures normes which is wrong in Islam but the young generation is their duty to change anything that doesn’t appeal’s allaah’s deen like I say I learned alot the inner culture aspect allaahuma baarik all of you and absolutely we need more educational episodes like this bro Ali daw’a
I’m gonna be honest, I switched off after 13 minutes. These guys r all speaking subjectively and all their experiences r bad, what’s the probability. Oh dear. That’s not how marriage works in Bangladeshi culture. In a nutshell most deshi parents act as matchmakers when their children show interest in marriage.
@@userx74bvx43vx no. I’m not speaking about myself. I’m speaking about 90%+ of my family members marriages and friends marriages and non friends marriages as well. Yeah, there r one or two horror stories but that’s not the norm.
After watching this,I feel as though my dad’s views was purely Islamic and I can’t find a fault in him .my father never forced us 5 siblings he was blessed man.i am from a Bengali family.
Same with my dad and all of my friends' parents. Alhamdhulillah
Alhamdulillah
Respect for the Bengali Culture, I see Bangladesh as my second home as I lived there 6 years. I am Somali 🇸🇴❤🇧🇩
🇧🇩❤️🇸🇴
Love from Bangladesh ❤❤
Somalis & Bengalis have a bond no one can break ❤
@@xuserakx Thank you bro. 😍
@@ThorErAbbaOdin Donnobad bhai
From Bangladesh, FREE PALESTINE!! FREE KASHMIR! FREE ALL THOSE OPPRESSED!!
Including all the women oppressed by sharia too right?
Insyallah...Ameen2
How about free Bangladeshi from the owami league and tyrant dictator hasina
Ay kashmir is already free from terrorists and Pakistanis because of Indian Army. You don't have to cry about them.
you didn't add free bangladesh from the oppressions of the government against religious Muslims
Im a black woman Revert & I find that certain ppl value culture more than religion.
Im grateful that as Im in the process of getting married. The person(Arab) Im getting married to his family a r amazing towards me.
Specially the older generation.
They been colonized
MashaAllah may Allah swt bless your marriage, I'm also a black woman and struggling to find a partner for marriage, my parents are reverts, and I sometimes feel like I don't fit in anywhere in the muslim community
Culture is used to manipulate control and abuse women
Bengali culture allows abuse of all kinds to wards mothers wife sister
Bengalis do not follow religion because it’s doesn’t fit there greedy selfish entitled lifestyle
@@liai2375Asalaam Alaikum may Allah bless you with a good Muslim husband and make everything easy for you. Ameen!
Arab marrying you and will leave you by triple talaq st any moment . And you are broke
You should do an episode about successful marriage featuring Muslim couples who have been married for at least a decade.
My parents got separated after 12 years.
This is why I set up my pre marital service, all our coaches have to be married more than 20 years
@@siminshaikh7535 There are people who have gotten divorced after even twice and three times longer married and even more, that does not lessen the values and lessons they could pass on to help other people avoid getting divorced.
By the human perspective it is sad that your parents got divorced, but Allah knows best.
@@siminshaikh7535 I'm sad to hear that. I know divorce can happen after a lifetime together, however we have so much more to learn from those with many years of experience over young people who have never or only been married for a few years. There is a wealth of experience to speak from even from divorce, where we can learn from their mistakes, learn what went wrong and broke a couple in the end.
@@iNikkah
That's a great idea and service. You should share details so others can benefit.
I am Sylheti Bengali and got married to my Punjabi Sikh revert husband 10 years ago and during that time my family gave me such a hard time to the point my dad completely disowned me and my mum didn’t talk to me until I was pregnant with my eldest kids. Took time but my family love my husband now and he is the reason my family appreciate Islam & started practicing. Few months back my youngest sister got married to her German Turkish husband and my mum was excited for her Alhamdulillah! I was very strong minded on the fact that I did nothing against Islam by marrying outside my culture. Just to add my husband was a revert 2 years before we got married ❤
This is awesome! Thanks for sharing.
Nothing awesome about this authubillah. Your marriage is null and invalid, you married without your fathers consent. May Allah give him his justice!
@@Kalashriffi is her father gonna live with her husband you clown 🤡🤡🤡
@@Kalashriffidepends on the school of law you follow. It is not black and white. You need to know more before cursing anyone.
Allah humma barik, best wishes for you and family sister
Some men don't want to marry more than one woman. Respect that. They just want a quality intimacy with one woman. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't make them leas of a man.
He never said that but if you put all factors away such as headaches, financially, etc, then all men do want more than one woman as it's within our biological nature. But that's in an ideal world, the reality is women are headaches lol
💯
That too they choose a lot...as the akhi said, lightest skin, height, rich family, having job etc etc. I'm from Dhaka and it's Must here, other parts of the Bangladesh more less like this
@@roosworld4910 A woman is Iblis himself in human form.
I don’t want to marry Iblis.
Coming from an Indian culture, I resonate with every point that was made in this video. Allah grant our parents understanding and make it easy for those looking to get married.
Indian culture any different? lol
@@hassyg4083 not really. The thought process exactly the same. However, there are differences when it comes to the actual wedding preparations etc. I would say the Bengali culture are more adventurous lol
@@hassyg4083india, Pakistan and Bangladesh was one country before, the culture is 95% similar
@@Pikkinmink7 one country made by the British?
@@hassyg4083 it was divided by the British
I'm from Bangladesh.
Free Palestine
Free Free Palestine! 🇵🇸
You being human is enough to support and wanting to Save Falestine,
Only a khabeezah would want the oppressor and jahannamis.
"The hardest people to give dawah is your parents." 100%
Yet the still give you a bed to sleep in
I grew up with just a mum from the age of 3 ,there were 6 of us in a bengali household.my mum asked us to find people for ourselves as long as they are practising and they treat us well ,but did not want us to date anyone because it was haraam.I married a revert english brother just 16 years ago when it was still not that common but she agreed reagrdless of people's views .I think mainly it is the father who has the final say,they're a bit more strict,there is also outside influence from friends of the same background.Its brainswashing,they dont practise islam they practise their culture. After my marriage,my sister got married to a revert,and so did other members of the family. we need to show our families that islam is the only requirement.If they practise,they have taqwa,they udnerstand the do's and don't and to be honest,because of the culture clashes your less likely to get into eachothers lives.People from the same backgrounds have too much in common,they get too involved.If culture creeps into the household so does the rest of the family.We keep our family affairs private and no one delves into any one elses business. Culture breeds gossip and backward thinking,leave it at the door,its not needed.
Love this. Love Islam for its diversity when it comes to who to marry as long as Islam is the focal point and we are taking the prophet (pbuh) as our role model.
very inspiring. Jazakallah khair
Just remember don't discount everything from your parent's culture just because of a few issues. When you grow up you will realize that their culture is a net positive compared to English culture which has far more issues. Immigrant's children who grow up in the West like us become Westernized and so we start seeing fault in our parent's behavior because it doesn't conform to what we experience in 90% of our life. So once you notice a few problems in the parent's culture, you start assuming the whole thing is weird. But really your just unknowingly assimilating to Western culture.
@Fortifier1021 exactly
Why would your whole family marry another ethnicity? This is usually caused by Daddy issues and punishing the absent Dad by marrying someone outside your culture
Im bengali and my dad left behind all the backwards bengali culture and raised us strictly only upon Qur'aan and sunnah. I told him im marrying a jamaican revert sister and he's fine with it.
Really must of hated the culture!
Good for your father sounds like a well respected man of deen
A somali sheikh in london made him realise what the Qur'aan and sunnah says, and he saw that his culture and family traditions came from his bengali hindu ancestors and not from Islam. So he left it all behind and made sure to raise his kids only upon Qur'aan and sunnah. @piqueny8872
Your father sounds incredible. Please pass our salaams to him and thank you for breaking the barrier.
Many dua for your father. A true Muslim dad. I wish I could talk to you.
Ma sha Allah TabrakAllah deep
Wow so sad, my bangali parents were nothing like this, understanding how lucky I am 🤲🏻 Alhamdullilah
A lot of Bengali families practice shirk without them knowing ! Well done to these sisters educating their parents.🎉
The girl whose mom told Allah cursed her with a dark skin is prettier than all and I’m not saying the other two are not pretty, her skin, facial structure and eyes are all pretty
A agree with you bruh
@@syedahalimaparviz1295 you liked your own comment? 🤣
@@sareeyemanusqaame8723 Bilal bin Rabah (RA) had dark skin
Prophet Musa (AS) also had dark skin.
Are the most pious and beloved people to Allah “cursed” because of this?
🤦♂️
@@fardeenmahmud8866 I'm not the one who said anyone is cursed
@@sareeyemanusqaame8723 I wasn’t talking about you, don’t worry brother.
I’m talking about the ones who think dark skin is bad in some way.
Now, if someone has a preference for lighter skin over darker skin, there’s nothing wrong with it because you can’t control what you’re attracted to.
And of course different people are attracted to different things.
But people should not look down on others because of skin color. That is very wrong and un-Islamic.
I am a Bengali and this is too true! Bengali post-marriage culture is really toxic. There are often always clashes between the mother-in-law and the wife.
Stories of non-clashing loving relations are rare.
Thanks @AliDawah. Us Bangladeshis should have had this discussion in our media. Much earlier and much often. That's a bit of a shame for us.
This discussion is truly comprehensive as both sides get to present their cases. I can't imagine any better way to tackle this immensely painful issue - that causes married Muslims on both sides to cry or be stressed beyond words.
Even Shaykh Abdurrahman Hassan from @AMAUofficial talked briefly about the problems in Bengali marriages.
This is truly a century-old societal and cultural problem in this region. I heard the same stories from my grandma and my mother. And my aunties. Throughout the country. All corners.
I don't want this to propagate any longer. Not to my wife. Not to my sisters.
I am immensely shocked how many problems and evil cultural practices creep into a society when the people don't adopt the way of the Salaf.
Not just regular shameless desires (e.g. evil flirts with potential spouses and in-law sisters), but also outright shirk (e.g. touching elders' feet and them getting offended if not done) adopted from neighbouring Hindu culture.
Also, outright evil deprivation of women's right in terms of inheritence by her own brothers.
I ask Allah to guide these people or just make them taste a bit of His wrath. These people make so many women cry. Her own brothers deny her right to her father's property worth millions in our currency.
So many women of this region are gonna enjoy justice in their Akhirah because how much deprived and oppressed they were.
I don't have a sister. I am not married. My father divided his father's inheritance according to the book of Allah. Alhamdulillah!
Still I find these things furious!
Our scholars of sunnah warn people day and night about this. Some men are secularists. Some men are Muslims by name and deny their own sisters' rights regardless!
@@MuhammadBinZafar1 As a Bengali I’ll try to find a Muslim wife from another ethnicity, preferably a revert.
Wallahi, everything our culture contains is against Islam. And we have the nerve to call ourselves Muslim!
The nations that are further away from the Ka’aba are further away from Islam.
Look at where Bangladesh is on the world map compared to other Muslim countries.
Arabs are more committed to Islam Alhamdulillah (not all of course, but on average they are).
Their women are more chaste and modest than ours, crime and immorality isn’t as rampant in Saudi Arabia as is it in the Subcontinent. Stuff like zina, alcohol, lack of hijab, not praying, etc. is punished severely.
Even though they discriminate against South Asians (which is clearly wrong and against Islam) can you blame them for it? We’ve created a bad reputation for ourselves that cause the Arabs to dislike us.
@AliDawah It’s really sad that the first male panelist was being pressured into accepting polygamy despite clearly expressing his reasons why it’s not for him. Not all men are polygamous and to make out all men MUST have this nature, is a massive generalisation and not true.
With the current polygamy obsession amongst male muslim influencers, lets remember that monogamy is the sunnah which our Prophet SAW practiced for the majority of his life whilst he was married to Khadijah RA, the love of his life for 25 years of his youth. The Prophet SAW professed his love for Khadijah RA was superior to all others on many occasions. It’s completely normal for many men to align with THIS sunnah and feel fulfilled by one wife. For this reason, I completely disagree with your attempts to make any man feel abnormal if they aren’t into polygamy! He SAW only practiced polygamy as an elderly man following the death of Khadija RA, for political reasons and during times of war when many men had been killed. Not to seek prettier and younger wives for his personal satisfaction. Rather the opposite, he married widows and elderly women with the exception of Aisha RA- will the men of today practice this sunnah of marrying elderly non-virgins?
Also there are some cultures, where polygamy doesn’t suit their dynamics. In Bengali family dynamics where extended families often live together, lots of in-law clashes, jealous mother in laws - adding polygamy to the mix would be an absolute toxic disaster. So brother Ali I discourage your attempts to convince brothers it’s something they must all be thinking and doing - you are being extremely naive to the consequences. You need to accept, in some cultures its not a norm because it just doesn’t work with their cultural dynamics - so please stop forcing polygamy down everyone’s throat. Furthermore, to assume that generations of monogamous marriages wont affect a man or women’s preferences is extremely naive. Remember the Prophet SAW even forbade his son-in-law from remarrying as he knew it would hurt his beloved daughter Fatima RA who did not want polygamy.
I find this propaganda many Muslim youtubers are pushing very irresponsible and badly timed. We are in a cost of living crisis, life in the UK is expensive, and many men struggle to put a roof over one wife and maintain just one family. The reality is, polygamy will put many families under substantial financial strain. With divorce rates also being so high, couples are struggling to maintain just one marriage, surely it makes more sense for muslim TH-camrs/influencers to focus on helping couples make one marriage a success, instead of preoccupying men with vulgar and selfish fantasies of multiple young wives.
this. PREACH.
Also the ‘don’t think about the stress or anxiety that comes with it’, but you SHOULD think about that. THAT is what makes or breaks polygynous households (not talking about whether the first wife accepts or not), but can the MAN deal with everything that comes with it. Also, feeling attraction towards another woman does not mean they automatically have to bed them. What happened to lowering the gaze, or not marrying unless you can fulfil the rights, or marrying to fulfil a sunnah, not simply your desires?
THANK YOU! To add to what you said, I've heard from a marriage course that there have been multiple cases of men who opted for polygamy only to regret it down the line.
The video failed to address the rest of the verse "... but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice."
Also the fact that the concept of 4 wives didn't come as an allowance for men to marry multiple wives but rather as a limit/deterrent to what was happening at the time.
Scary times we live in. Imagine the kind of effect it could have on impressionable minds to have such practices with such serious consequences be shoved down one's throats so callously! It's honestly disappointing how in a lot of cases women are told to go out of their way to compromise and accept the notion of her significant other to bring in a second wife instead of teaching the men to be more responsible and be content with one wife. Smh
May Allah protect us from all harm and all evils. Ameen
That's the best and logical comment I've ever read❤
That’s why it’s so important for us to educate ourself in Deeni matters. We should learn from our parents mistake and make sure we don’t carry on their traumas to our children. No parent wants bad for their child. We just need to make sure we always speak to our parents in a respectful manner and you will notice that Allah will open their hearts to what’s Haq
Gald, someone is talking about this. Thanks for addressing the Bengali Issue Brother Ali! My mom is like that, too. May Allah make it easy for our Bengali brothers and sisters ✨️
My wife is Bengali 🇧🇩 & I'm Somali/Ethiopian 🇩🇯🇪🇹. Fortunately, I have a lovely family 🤲🏽. My Bengali in-laws have been so good to me. To be honest, I haven't had a lot of experiences with Bangladeshi people before getting with my wife. So I really don't know any of the negatives when it comes to culture other than what my wife tells me about bengali culture. I had a glimpse of it with my in-laws and they're extended family members. But every culture has their negatives. Nevertheless, they've been good to me. I wanna say it's probably because they're very religious. I mean, they follow the sunnah to the T! Allahumma barik 🤲🏽When we put cultural practices over our religion, especially when it goes against our deen, thats when we have problems. 😔
The local mosques should introduce a online database where our sons and daughters can register there details with there mehrams .
Birmingham central mosque has implemented this service and other mosques around the country should follow suit ?This is a great service and is just a database for uk nationals 👍It should no longer be called a arranged marriage instead it should be refered to as a assisted marriage
Totes
Many masjids now offer this service.
What’s your problem with arranged marriages?
That's still arranged, arranged doesn't have to be via family only
@@Tressa-Rei-Tressa mine don’t. They would prefer we marry our cousins.
the refusal of the bowing down to touch feet? makes me smile, i did this to my father in 2002 times when i found out it was haram, my father forced everyone to do it, when it was my turn, i was like "no" because my nana told me it was haram and when he asked? i quoted it, he gave me the biggest slap round my face 🤣 he was so angry, i felt great i didnt wanna touch his foot fungus astafurillah 🤣🤣🤣
He slapped your face so hard that even I felt it 😭
@@j86485 🤣😂🤣imagine the 90's level bollywood sound affect, "TaaaaSHHH" thats the noise it made when he clarted me, that hand flew from one end of the room to the next 🤣🤦♀ the khobis knew no better it was 20 odd years ago its cool lol 😂 😂
@@mangaanime17 There will be some thunder sounds and close-up camera shots on both your faces for like 5 minutes 😂
@@j86485 I felt it too 😭
He really did? Man, you're brave.
Go save Palestine!
Touching the feet of elders is from hindu culture
It is a sign of respect to touch the feet of your mother or father or elderly or the elevated pious. It does not go against islamic teachings, as it shows respectfulness to a great level.
@@User-059-42No brother you cannot bow or prostate to anyone other than Allah.It is haram and Allah didn't ordered us to do this act.
@@User-059-42it’s haram end of discussion
@@User-059-42 When you touch the feet of your parents you tend to bow down. We only bow down to Allah SWT. You can show respect by kissing your parents on the forehead.
@@User-059-42its haram
My heart went out to the young lad who was forced into marraige, this has a lasting psychological effect on someone. This doenst just happen in the Bengalis culture its all over. My Brothers were forced into marriage as well and their marriage was abusive on their wives side, they made sure that they did not see their families, and they would send money back home and fill their pockets, hence the reason as to why they kept us out of my brothers lives.
Never marry an immigrant there intention is to steal your money and launder it to there families
While ur live on the poverty line and claim food banks and government housing
After you pass your sell by date, the parents are like 'go and marry anyone, so as long as he's/she's a muslim' ...years later she's/he's still single. True story.
What???
In the end parents stop being so picky (has to be only from a certain background). They realise so as long as they've found a good Muslim partner and are happy, that is all that matters.
@@roosworld4910 it’s a shame so many women wait until they have careers to get married. By then you are touching 30, not as agile as before and now you have to balance full time job, kids and husband. No wonder so many women end up burning out and divorcing. Too much to handle
Education finishes at 22 unless they've taken a longer route. Plenty of time for marriage.
People don't have the right network to find a good partner. Then they become old and they still don't want to give up on their ideal partner. By then most younger females don't want to marry an older man. Older women, don't want a man with baggage from a previous marriage (most older people would have some sort of relationship history...children etc..)
Marriages can break down from bad communication. Takes teamwork to run a household. Team work, makes the dream work.
36 year of brother married a non practicing Christian she giving him hell.
He had to go to his disabled
Moms house for Ramadan meals and Eid. All because he refused to follow Sunnah marry young and a wife with Islamic deen and character
Thank you once again brother Ali this episode into Bengali marriages, I am also Bangladeshi and a lot of work needs to be done especially educating our elders so that their children are also on the same page as them and will gain confidence in following the islamic traditions and Sunnah.
Bengalis worship there forefathers culture because it’s agree with theirs selfishness entitlement and greed.
Religion give respect rights responsibilities for Everyone
Even children have rights yet the culture still obeys family honor even if it’s means abusing the mom wife or daughters
As a bangladeshi I can say marriage has become the hardest thing in our country.That's why nowadays adultery is being normalised. (Na'ujubillah).Also the govt. of bangladesh is an anti-islamic entity.Pray for us. We don't know what's happening in the future . It's the only muslim country which has no border with another muslim country
No it isn't.... You forget Bosnia
It’s was never a Muslim country full of idolising culture worship
Bollywood Indian seek traditions forced cousin marriages bride marriage to old nasty men
abusive hidden marriages
Mothers daughters treated like Sex slaves
Bangladesh is and was never a Muslim country
This is why the immigrants are applying for western countries to marry for the passport
do you care about few or majority.@@mphone312
Nope it is anti Arab. Too many bengalis with massive traumas from the past Arab invasions 😂 the Bengali people and their rich historic culture is sick of the Arabism that overtook our culture the last 4-5 centuries so machetes come out quick. You should leave if it’s a problem.
What problem are not facing in Bangladesh. @@mphone312
Thank you for addressing the toxic colourism issue, your kind words were very comforting, may Allah reward you
Colourism exists in all races. Lets be real. Not just bengalis. Blacks say lighty and darky to eachother, whites cuss ginger n pale people. Asians fair n dark.. its a human thing. Not cultures.
@@SRTV2022it’s a white supremacy disease that they injected the whole humanity. We need to liberate our minds
@Fortifier1021 yeh bollywood
@@SRTV2022still an issue. People think dark skin is inferior.. That’s where the issue comes. Difference in appearance has nothing to do with the value of a person & Allah doesn’t accept this evil behavior. I’m lighter than every brother on this panel excluding Ali and still experience it with so called “Muslims” because my skin tone isn’t white enough😂
@@luluah1198 not really. , Sunak is not light he is British Prime Minister. Skin tone is aesthetic preference
I have Pakistani parents and they told me if I don’t marry cousin I will have to stay alone forever and won’t take their responsibility which is in Islam to find me a spouse.
they can't do that. They can't force you to marry and they cannot forbid you to marry.
Why do Pakistani parents force marrying your cousins so much 🤦🏾♂
Why do Pakistanis marry there own cousins that’s very strange is it a culture thing (no disrespect)
Asalamu Alaykum , if youre a sister then contact a masjid and tell them the situation they should be able to help you , this is opression , they cannot force you. If youre a brother then they cant force you either !
inbreeding bad for health medically hence high death rates of newborns in them countries
Salaams. I am a Bengali, Spanish & Caribbean Sister in my 20's born in UK. Been married for 5 years to a revert Subhanallah. On every show Ali tries to convince everyone that every man is polygamous by nature. I have never seen someone push a sunnah down peoples throats so desperately. I have been waiting for sisters or brothers on this show to stand up for themselves properly because so far the people who don't want polygamy have been silenced on the show. Brother I understand that you want to be polygamous and May Allah Make it easy for you. You want your wife to see that no man would happy with only be with one woman but many men actually are Alhamdulillah. The prophet (PBUH) when married to Khadija didn't marry another woman. He didn't even ask pray for anyone else Allahumma Barrik. This was the love of his life. The only way he would have married another woman would have been because Allah (SWT) directly told him too and that was the case when she passed and he married again. He was never one to chase polygamy but brother you seem desperate to make everyone see and feel how you do about it. Some men have found the love of their life too Subhanallah and would not want to marry again. Not because of finances or headache but because of the gratuity they feel to have such a great wife who has been there from the beginning and it fulfils him. You need to remember it Is not in some of our fates to live this way. Culture/law also affects feelings towards marriage. You can't undo generations of monogamy just like that the brain needs to be rewired this is systematic. The Quran shows us that such teachings come over time to ease the people into it. Me and my husband respect everyones choice in marriage however we do not want polygamy. You keep saying you challenge anyone who says different. If you really need a muslim couple to come on the show and show you different, that you can't be content and happy with one partner, invite us to the show but I guarantee you will be unhappy that you can't silence us or change our minds. Another great talk though, Jazak'Allah May Allah guide us all.
1000% How can he say unless you have issues mentally or are gay (implied) if you only want one wife atsagfirullah. that is so rude and disrespectful. some men actually love their wife so much and don't want to hurt her in this way. she is a human being. There are so many other ways to please Allah he would not punish us for staying with one so why would we force it. if a woman is happy with this then do it if she is not don't force that's not Islamic.
He says if a woman falls out of love with her partner she will leave him straight away this not true at ALL. Ali how are you calling yourself 'Mr Polygamy' when you don't even understand women properly let alone men lol So many women stay Loyal to their husbands even through the hardest of times. Even through pain. Same with some men. Polygamy is great for a man who is is naturally feeling more sex drive and wants do it in the halal way but there are so many men in the world who would rather focus on other things like building generational wealth and charity. We are seeing polygamy practiced so wrong these days.. isn't it better to stick to one and do it properly than have more and answer to your sins on judgement day for being unable to correctly take care of all those women and causing so much pain.
Walaikum as salam may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you sister: I talk about polygamy so obsessively because I know what decent men go through the moment they want to even think about marrying again, from being threatened with divorce, to being accused of rape, to not seeing their kids.
Me being polygamy is no one’s business, so if you think I talk about it because I want to marry again lol is you seeing the pixel while I’m trying to show the picture.
I noticed in your wording you keep saying WE when you talk about your husband not wanting a second wife, why are speaking in his behalf? Instead of saying He don’t want it, you keep saying WE.
Now you are more then welcome to apply to the show with your husband, but let me ask a very simple question, IF your husband comes to the show and I prove he is actually polygamous, would you be ok with that? Would you be besides him? Or would you make his life a living hell? After you answer this question, think deeply about why “HE”or shall I say “WE” don’t want polygamy.
Leave you husband with me for couple of hours and then we’ll see if he desires the idea of another woman or not, just don’t kill him after lol.
@@AliDawah Shouldn't it be made clear that you'd maybe want to marry another woman in the future when marrying your first wife instead of surprising her with the decision?
@@AliDawah Jazak'Allah for your response brother ... I understand that some men are mistreated in these matters but if you can see first hand the stress and pain it has caused for families why do you try to convince so many western living men to try to go down that road. Do you understand how many brothers struggle to find one good loyal and pious woman these days, why risk breaking the family unit why not just marry someone who is open to polygamy from the beginning to avoid family dispute? This seems most logical.
Brother, I used the word 'We' once in my entire paragraph, because me and my husband often watch your show together and have these discussions during the show, Subhanallah. I have openly and honestly asked him about his feelings towards this topic (co-wives) and he says that isn't the life he wants to live. Your show does a great thing to open up these conversations but sometimes it feels like propaganda, censored to fit a polygamous lifestyle because when someone says that they don't want to live this way you quickly shut that down.
Another reason I used the word 'we' (once) is because its a joint decision ... Have you forgotten how marriage works brother ? It isn't islamic to make big decisions about a marriage without both parties being involved and aware. Yes, you do have to tell your first wife about your second wife in Islam. There are no secret marriages. The children of one wife will be the half-siblings of the children of your next wife. The family has the right to know each other and your spouses deserve your respect and honesty. Secret marriages are not permitted by the majority of Sunni mad-hab. One of the requirements of a halal marriage is it to have witnesses and it public knowledge in the community, SubhanAllah its beautiful how our religion protects us all.
If he ever did change his mind on this matter and came to me with honesty & respect, no I wouldn't try to make his life a living hell as hurtful as it would be I would be respectful and bow out gracefully. That's my intention.The old me would have probably put him on a shirt lol... Who knows in another 5-10 years time would Allah guide us and test us both with different feelings on the topic? I am always open minded to the fact that people and circumstances change. However, at this age, I know myself very well and can't see myself ever being a co-wife. Allah knows best.
Side note: I am a hijabi and I am making intention to continue to improve. My goal this year is to purchase some jilbabs and khimars as well as some more abayas/flowy dresses. I am a revert and alhamdulillah, my job is super cool with me wearing abaya etc (I live in FL, USA, and it has been a struggle, but now I am in such a good work environment by the grace of Allah swt). I just want to compliment how beautiful and modest these sisters looked. May Allah swt continue to have these modest examples for us sisters.
As a Bengali, from India .. I AGREE WITH EVERY SINGLE WORDS SPOKEN ABOUT BENGALI CULTURE ON THIS PODCAST !! A great podcast !! ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for inviting them. As a Bengali they said all the issues that this culture faces
Asalaamu'alykum brother Ali, a reminder for myself always, but I think we Muslims have to be extremely cautious of exposing the sins of others, especially of our families. We want to protect the integrity of everyone especially if there are people watching who can identify the sisters and brothers speaking on your show- by extension the community would know exactly who have been doing wrong. I think there were very important issues raised, but I don't think it is correct to have it shared at the expense of shaming specific people. Unfortunately these conversations may be written down as backbiting, which we forget is a major sin in Islam. We can remove the personification and alter our language to say "I know of someone.." or "a relative of mine.." and so on and so forth. May Allah allow us to purify our hearts, minds and tongues, and forgive our shortcomings, ameen.
Agreed. And speaking about other people when they are not present, gives them not a chance to defend to themselves and their viewpoint.
My thoughts exactly 💯.
Exactly! These idiots, were exposing their own mother’s sins and bad habits, to the entire GLOBE! Are they that dumb? Once you say something on the internet and it’s posted on TH-cam, you cannot take it back, and it’s very hard retracting what they said, as it’s been recorded. They are very naive and immature in my opinion. So quick to denounce their own mother’s faults, but don’t address their own. It’s 2023 and that dude was an adult of legal age, where he should and could make adult decisions and choices, so it was HIS entire fault, for allowing his family to brainwash him to get married, but unless they forced him (by holding a gun to his head or black magic), he still could and should have said NO. Is he not a man, does he not have free will? That sister in the pink scarf, when talking ill about her divorce and marital issues, again online, she mentioned she married a man of a different ethnicity and got married in a mosque, so that got me assuming she did it behind her mothers back, without consent from her own mother (her only guardian), as she previously mentioned, her mother wouldn’t approve of intermixed marriages, so when the mother didn’t approve of her divorcing so quickly and asking wether she’s giving her husband a chance or taking on the tasks a wife should be doing, then she decided to again, ignore her mother and instead blast her online. What a bunch of entitled, ungrateful brats these parents have raised. Looks like Ali just popped down to East London and picked up the road men of Bengalis. Not a fair representation of your average Bangladeshi family. Majority of Bangladeshi households, have both parents and are pretty conservative, in a good way. Many have adapted the culture, to work better with Islamic teachings. I think the brother with the shades and the two sisters (who constantly interrupted the show), are exceptions. Imagine if that sister, kept interrupting her husband and wanted to be in charge all the time in her marriage, then it’s not really surprising, where things may have spiralled. If she wasn’t affording him his rights as the man of the house, then how could he afford her her rights. Do they even know what their rights were, I mean, did they even discuss this before rushing to the mosque to get married? Thats why it’s important for women to have a wali before making that huge decision in choosing who they will spend their life with. Ali really, should have brought those topics up, because that is part of the marriage topic, making sure, women are protected and not taken advantage of. May Allah guide us all, Ameen.
I was looking for this comment.
these guys didn't do a good job. felt like they jus wanted to get their crazy stories out there, which is weird given they didn't blur their face so their whole community knows their family's problems. only time there was mention of religion, it was mainly coming from Ali. they didn't even answer his questions properly, but instead jus started tangenting and ranting abt bengali culture. they didn't even mention a prominent part of bengali marriage like CVs etc. also, them talking abt "hindu culture" and stuff like "khodom busi" (the touching the feet of an elder), they are in no position to be making rulings and deeming things as unislamic when their ignorance is quite apparent. idk why, but it seems like their mission was just to make bengali culture seem rlly bad. at no point was there any praising of the culture/higlighting anyhting good.
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100% donation policy to hamas?
Wow mics issues, Ali bro get on top of this with your next episodes
@@matt-jc4ly nah, 100% donation policy to Humous
*Reasons Why Pakistani, Afghan, Indian, Bangladeshi, Iranian, Arab, Central Asian, and Far East Asian Girls Should Never Date and Marry Black, White, and Hispanic Men:*
*Please do not forgive that detrimental and facist Black American guy who committed the biggest crime of all crimes. Just to get a round of applause the idiot and attention seeker father of that poor guy who lost his life very painfully in the hands of that detrimental and facist Black guy, the father forgave that detrimental and facist Black guy. I am a Pakistani American with Indian roots and I have dark brown skin color, and White Christian Americans and Jewish Americans including White Cops, White Prosecutors, White Court employees, White school Principal, White and Jewish Dean of Students and Professors at universities always protect their detrimental Black, Hispanic, Filipino, South Korean, Pakistani and Indian Christians men and women whenever they commit crimes against me and other dark brown South Asian Muslims so that those Whites could use those Blacks, Hispanics, Filipino, South Korean, Pakistani and Indian Christians against Muslims politically, socially, legally, militarily, judicially, geo-politically, sexually, in America and outside of America, and now White Muslims like Eddie, Turkish Kurd like Ali Dawah from The U.K who is married to a Black Somali woman, and the Oriental father of this poor and innocent guy who got murdered forgave that detrimental facist Black guy just because the Black guy cried in Court. So, my question to Eddie and to Ali Dawah is that if someone murders your son or daughter and starts crying in court then does it mean that you will forgive him just because your religion of Islam is teaching you to do so? If your answer is NO then you are hypocrites and fake.*
*Don't forget that Islam encourages Muslims to execute a murderer in public so that public can learn a lesson and have a fear of execution from a public execution.*
*I am a Pakistani-American and I have dark brown complexion and I have become a victim of Black racism and Black fascism many times in America at work place, universities, etc. Blacks violated me out of jealousy and because of colourism in their culture and because I also have dark brown complexion, therefore, Blacks violated me whenever they observed that I was getting a lot of attention from White men and White girls at work, at my universit, and elsewhere. When Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Jews, Chinese, Indians, and Bangladeshi guys see different colours of Pakistani and when they see dark brown skin colour Pakistani guys dating or married to light skin colour Pakistani girls then they try to be a part of Pakistani culture by asking Pakistani girls for dates and by giving Pakistani girls marriage proposals based on their materialistic lust for light skin Pakistani girls, because they think that if dark skin Pakistani guys can get married with light skin Pakistani girls then light skin Pakistani girls will also let those Black, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys to marry them not realizing that in Pakistani culture we don't have any colourism and dark brown skin color Pakistani guys are Pakistani but certainly not African Black, Indian, and Bangladeshi, therefore, Pakistani girls, no matter they have brown or light skin, should never date and marry Black African, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys at all. Blacks at my work place and university never violated Whites, Hispanics, Jews, and other light skin races, but they only violated me because of my dark brown skin colour, because of my religion of Islam, because of my origin of Pakistan, and because they were jealous to see that I was getting so much attention from Whites and simetimes from Jews, Chinese, Arabs who physically look kind a European, Iranian, etc. I have lost several jobs because of Blacks violated me at work but I had to pay the consequences because Whites, Jews, Hidpanics, and fake and shameless Muslim workers from Morocco, Bosnia, Turkey, Pakistan, India, and Iran supported Blacks in violating me. Blacks also supported anti Muslim and anti Pakistan Whites and Jews in committing crimes against me at my university and in court cases. Black colour their hair blond and red but it becomes very hard for them swallow when I colour my hair red or orang by using Henna on my hair. Blacks in America often rob gas stations, and 7-Eleven, and other small businesses and murder Pakistani, Indian, and Bangladeshi workers. Blacks often brutally assault and rob Pakistani, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys out of racism and jealousy in America. So, Don't feel sorry for these hypocrite, fascist, racist, violent, criminal, sex addict, creepy, and weird Blacks Americans and Black African immigrants who are religiously Christians. Black men along with White men often become Muslims because they have lust for light skin Muslim girls and because they want to marry virgin and light skin Muslim girls. Indian and Bangladeshi guys also keep lust for light skin Pakistani girls from northern Pakistan.*
th-cam.com/users/shortsScRK70BWsn0?si=uSXCJa_haClpYmKO
th-cam.com/video/feMtuMP2YVI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=quNp5_a59vAIkbHg
@@abunusaybah__why?
My mom always hated that I would ask show me in Hadith or Quran ! She would get so angry.. same thing I would ask my dad.
I remember a time when the older generation used to feel disrespected by their children speaking up with Islamic facts. Then there was growth, where they accepted 'it is okay for the elders to learn from the young. It's not disrespectful'.
@roosworld4910 growth?? You children need to listen to parents ok.. you no bloody clever then this.
SubhanAllah ! 😓
The issue of racism because of skin tone is a major issue in Bangladeshi culture. May be not that much for men but I’ve seen a lots of women being rejected just because she doesn’t have a fair skin tone. Many people have this mentality that if the girl is not fair skin toned she’s not qualified to get married to them/ to their son, no matter how much qualified she is. I know not everyone thinks the same but as a girl with slight darker skin tone I’ve heard from some of my friends and relatives that it will be difficult for me to get married and I should do something about my skin tone like using products that can lighten the skin tone 🙂 when I said I'll marry someone for whom my skin color won't matter, they thought I was being arrogant.
The level of invisible trauma, people pleasing, gaslighting, narcissism, emotional abuse, enmeshment, codependency, religious abuse, conditional love, mind control, invalidation, oppression, emotional neglect, covert blackmail, victim mentality, fear, guilt toxic shame, obligation and total loss of autonomy, authenticity and lack of individuation and self is why bengali people(especially daughters) need compassion, understanding and empathy because the level to which one’s self esteem has to be decimated to be okay with forfeiting self as well as to level level to which self splitting tactics needs to be implemented so that the child’s self worth is completely externalized and placed into the approval of parents is criminal(I say this respectfully). This is why those marriages are filled with misery, trauma, betrayal, hurt and more trauma now imagine what a codependent people pleaser and narcissist will produce, a traumatized child and normalized Dysfunctional parenting, toxic relating, a loveless environment ripe with emotional abuse, gaslighting and control modeled for the offspring to repeat for the next generation. This was so brutal to see and sadly the trauma is normalized and pushed for generations in these families by using unconscious coercive manipulation tactics of control. My heart goes out to Bengali’s and awesome video. Cheers from Newyork it’s so awesome to see you using your voice to expose what’s really going to the rest of the world.
To the sister who’s mum said she was cursed by Allah for her skin - you are beautiful inside and out, you have skin many many women desire, you are a very beautiful woman.
To Ali, I personally know men who’s wives who have told them to get a second wife due to a lack of libido on their part, and the husband has refused himself as he recognises he’s 1. Not financially capable and 2. He cannot love a second wife the way he loves his first, and he cites that the prophet SAW was also satisfied with Khadija AS for 25 years, so personally I think you’re deflecting and think that every man is like you, it is disingenuous how much peer pressure you put on men to agree with you, every single time, when there’s a brother who disagrees with you multiple times, you don’t give up on trying to convince him until he agrees with you, this is not Dawah, polygamy is not obligatory, you spend much less energy on trying to convince the men to be emotionally mature and how to get to that point, you want them to get the result without putting the work in. It’s people like you that are the cause of young people divorcing at such a high rate, they go into a fantasy that you’ve painted for them, and are not prepared at all for the work that they need to put in, even the prophet SAW put in 25 years of monogamy. Also, practice what you preach, you apparently are so self aware and confident in your beliefs yet you only have one wife? What is it that you’re hiding from brothers and deceiving them like this? Go and get yourself a second wife, a third and a fourth, and then come and talk, as if brothers don’t have enough to deal with you are creating more fitnah for them
Bro your post should be longer it’s too short 😂😂😂
@@knowledgepower2001 😂😂🤣 I got carried away bro someone had to say it
@@Truthivist101What culture you come from?
Lol, I agree
I think the prophet's example just explains it all. That having 1 wife usually is sufficient but when situation arrives polygamy becomes necessary. That's why men are polygamous.
I can't lie as a Bengali I don't actually agree with most of whats being said in this episode
Yes, same i can't relate either and I'm fully Bangladeshi. There are some points that are generally valid still eg divorce stigma, skin color
Unfortunately, this is not only limited to Bangalis. Even here in West Africa, we have the same culture.
Exactly...this is what I wanted to say. I am bengali, married into north african culture, it's all same.. the husband becomes emotionally unavailable around his mother, his mother is toxic, creating problem, but the husband...... really self centered
I’m from Bangladesh. Alhamdulillah when I was 18 my parents told me I’m free to choose my life partner, if the man is a good Muslim, if his character is good then it doesn’t matter who he is or where he’s from. They just want me to choose someone who I’ll think will be good for me or I can be happy with him. They have gave me the permission to choose whom I want to marry when I wasn’t even considering getting married anytime sooner. I’m now 21 and when I told my mom that I would like to marry someone from other culture, she’s okay with it. She says as long as you can find someone who you can be happy with it’s okay.
Lucky
That’s good.
I am a mother and I told my daughter and son that they can marry to the person of their choice but the person has to be a good person. If his or her character good and my daughter and son think they would be happy with that person, I would be okay with them.
At the end of the day it’s their life and they had leave with their partner.
So their happiness is very important
This will lead to divorce. Imagine a 21 year old finding their spouse. Big mistake. You’re still a child.
In a hypothetical world where beautiful women come to me and say they are ok with me marrying both and won’t cause me any headaches and I am financially secure, of course anyone would get married to both. However we live in the real world in a society where it takes 2 incomes for 1 family and where polygamy is seen and often felt as cheating. To understand this reality and admit that you wouldn’t be mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with two wives is mature. The Quran says “ if you can’t do justice then only marry one”.
Yeah I didn’t understand the hypothetical lol, people find people attractive, you don’t have to bed every single one of them. 🤷♀️
Wallahi Ali, you are so good for the ummah. May allah protect you and your family❤️🤲🏾
The sisters who’s been told she won’t get married because of her skin tone 💔 My sister if you see this comment I want you to know you are BEAUTIFUL Ma Sha Allah ❤️
I really respect the man in the middle , he experienced trauma bcuz of his mom and the culture , yet he still respects her and is obedient to her . I can see how much he has suffered bcuz of this
Also the pionts the girl on the left makes are really interesting , she also suffers from this culture , yet still holding herself together . I respect them , and there's a lot to learn from them all , specially the suffering of those two . Nñ
Thank you for understanding
Marriage is not a bollywood romance. The older generation had sabr. They still got through it. Young people just give up. Men need to take care and respect women, women need to act like women.
Right
I’m not Bengali but loved this. I would love to see a Yemen episode soon.
Interesting, the very city from where all those people originated is converted to Islam by 360 Yamani saints. I think they were born and raised in the UK but kept their language alive.Yaman has a special place in their hearts
Shah Jalal from Yemen spread Islam in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh btw
they should not make a yemen episode because these people do not respect tradition, they will bring people to slander yemen.
@@Browneys4U the Yemeni episode would have Yemenis representing it, I don’t think a Yemeni is gonna try to slander Yemen. But I understand what your saying.
@@ma-sal5831 they might get people that respect the tradition and culture, but they might also get people who will disrespect and call the tradition and culture "backwards". "we know better "
Our bengali parents have lack of education and they are very toxic they don't value the emotional well being of their children. May Allah SWT guide them & help them to understand our deen.
Stop generalising bro. Geeeeeeez
Pakistani parents are the same.
They just love there brothers and sisters .
No love 4 the kids
@Fortifier1021
Really ?
I am not generalising.
I see it all around me .
Because they don't understand what emotional wellbeing is (well some dont(
Bengali wedding steps:
1- Dekha dekhi- groom & his family go to see her first, then brides side go to see his house and fam.
2- sini-fan- an engagement party, brides given a ring and some clothes. Mahr is discussed, this includes how much gold will be given, and how much land or money.
3- dowry- bride side buy furniture for his house, nowadays it’s mainly bedroom furniture, olden days it was literally furniture for downstairs and appliances for the kitchen, dinner sets, all kitchen utensils and that.
4- Mendhi ceremony separately for both sides
5- nikkah just before wedding day or on wedding day.
6- wedding day, usually bride side pay for feeding guests on this day, but if they decide to do walima and wedding together, then both sides split the costs.
7- bidai- bride moves to grooms house, and literally marries his family too 😜
8- mas kata- fish cutting ceremony
9- nasta- brides family come down to grooms house with loads of nasta (bengali sweet & savoury snacks), this is another party itself.
10- arai din- after a day and a half bride and groom go to stay at brides parents house.
I think this is all lol
you forgot holud
@@fardinaahmareen4869 of course! This’ll be done night before wedding. A turmeric paste will be applied on bride and grooms face, arms & feet. To give them a glow on the wedding day.
Bare in mine not every bengali familes do each one either. I for one didn't do mas kata in my husbands house
Damn. A lot to go through just to get some 🐱
Sounds like BS to me. Insha Allah I’ll find a girl whose family actually prioritizes Islam over culture so they don’t care about these things.
We should make nikah affordable and not an hodge podge of all kind of cultural stuff.
Brother Ali, I kiss my mom's feet its ok nothing bad or prohibited in Islam or either shirk if you kiss your mom's feet it's a blessing from ALLAH. Free Palestine 🇵🇸 love from Pakistan.
Why do you need to do that
It's not needed, my mums south asian and I love her to bits but I don't kiss her feet, this needs to stop lol.
nah its weird ngl, and to make matters worse people get angry if you do not do it lol
kissing the feet of a parents or elders is a cultural innovation. This practice originated from hinduism in India. I wanted to let you know since you're muslim.
@@vorehartHow is it still a thing?
Why not bring Bengalis that are married or even a variety of ages not those that are young and in their 20s? These are some Bengali’s that are clearly disobedient as you could tell by the girls and how they were speaking. Please bring some educated Bengalis that can articulate their words Ali not just those that would bring some controversy. Just a suggestion no hate and all love.
Lmao you say no hate but immediately call them disobedient because of the way they speak?
Your ignorance is over the roof, just cause they are speaking about their own culture, that they know very well you apparently think they are disobedient, and this is also you infantlizing the younger generation thinking they don't know much and apparently the older generation knows more than them, sometimes you do learn a lot of stuff from the younger generation not everything has to be from the elder people, you are the problem so may you never speak again with that ignorant mouth and head of yours.
Facts brother. This is embarrassing to see amongst the youth. They’re trying their best to cope with implementing haram into the culture. Disgusting.
I honestly don’t understand why people are so forceful in marrying someone their parents don’t approve or outside of the culture. I understand it if you are “in love” which is haram anyway, but if you are not then just marry someone you can both agree on and live in peace. Stop pretending it’s because he/she is a good muslim, there are plenty of if good muslims that your family can agree on.
Assalamu Alaykum brother/sister,
I get where you are coming from but you’ve got a couple of false assumptions. Firstly you assume that their love is haram which isn’t always the case. Secondly it’s their right to choose their husband/wife. In many cases it’s the parent who are in the wrong and push back (with respect) is needed
@@blacc6326wsalam
With respect that isn’t true, because if you are in love, then likelihood is you are meeting a non-Mahram without the presence of a mahram, so therefore Haram
So can you really fault the parents for not agreeing
People have preferences. There is nothing wrong with it. Their parents do not have an Islamic right of rejecting in the first place, if the persons religiously upright.
Some people (like myself) come from a culture with a severe shortage of practicing Muslims
@@user-fk7sk9ut1t I would advice you to read 49:12. I know exactly how you are thinking, but you have to combat that mentality. You will start thinking (if you aren’t already doing it) that everyone is doing it in the haram way and that the halal way is close to impossible. Judging people will become easy and that’s the trick of shaytan
It's very hard for a child to educate their parent. It's the responsibility of the scholars and the local imams to educate the parent..
I couldn’t even finish watching this, stopped midway. The two sisters seem so immature, how old are they? Saying their mom who is a Muslim doesn’t know Allah? They were constantly blasting their mom. The problem with most Bengali kids is that either they are too obedient to parents at the cost of their own happiness or they are extremely rebellious. The youth need to be balanced and stand their ground. Also, are they all Syleti? They normally aren’t even allowed to marry people from other parts of Bangladesh forget inter-racial. Many Bengali parents are accepting of interracial marriages now a days. Seems like the two sisters here just wish to marry outside of their culture but can’t and so are complaining here.
Also, I really enjoy a lot of Brother Ali’s pov. However, I think brother you are narrowing a woman to ‘one type’ by saying she is only happy with one man. If women were allowed Islamically to marry multiple men at once, you would see how many would not just stick to one man. But the only thing that would stop most would not be the lack of desire but coming back to the fairness point. So men aren’t the only ones who might desire to be sexually active with more than one person. Women and men BOTH feel that way. You could do an anonymous voting to see it for yourself, but if both men and women are asked to be honest, many women would tell you this.
Facts
Very brave of you to speak in this topic. I know how hard it can be talking about your own community. Thank god for multiculturalism. 🎉 things are definitely moving in The right direction. And I love how the new generation are able to separate religion from culture 😊
Great conversation & certainly a breath of fresh air looking at something like this Vs the red pill conversation from Miami selling ladies lacking intelligence, proper clothing, careers, pride, shame etc.
Compare East to West standards, I think the question answers itself. There will always be challenges but certainly great conversation 🙏🏽
These kids don't empathise with their parents. Yes explain to them etc but the one girl said "my mom doesn't know who Allah is” what a bold and sad statement to make about your own mother. Recognise the one who taught you about Allah swt in the first place.
The new generation think they know everything 😂
Respect to all of you brothers & sisters from somalia 🇸🇴
Im a revert and i find this stuff so ineresting keep it coming br ali inshallah
I didn't like where brother Ali put the brother beside him in a situation about polygamy where he was clearly uncomfortable. Clearly brother Ali couldn't accept the different opinion of the brother and had to make sure at the end he somehow agreed with Ali. I personally agree with my brother Ali here but I wouldn't like to be in that situation that Ali put the brother beside him in.
#FreePalestine
I notice the free Palestine flag in the top left corner of the screen.
Respect to the very very patient and well mannered brother sitting closest to Ali Dawah not least for responding calmly to the question 'are you muslim' (minute 35:00) *facepalm*. Let's learn to treat each other respectfully.
I think she was just trying to set up her point of as a Muslim you have a duty to teach you parents about dean
@@co2_consumer409 the respectful way to set up the point would have been to say 'as muslims we should....' or 'islam teaches us to...' as opposed to patronising a fellow Muslim.
***30:34
She didn't mean it in a serious way, she knows he's Muslim of course. It was meant in a rhetorical way as in if you're Muslim you have to do this
Come on that wasn’t rude
As a Bengali, we face difficulties marrying someone we like, let alone marrying the second 🤣🤣
Feminism in bangladesh is increasing more than any other muslim countries.....I am from Bangladesh..... here male authority is not respected...in government jobs , women are given more priority.....more and more women are encouraged not to marry before building career.....all my male neighborhood obeys their wife..things are worsening day by day..... government made a law here that men should take permission from first wife to marry second time....... Imams of masjid are busy educating men to be more tolerant towards their wife instead of teaching how to take down feminism........most Imams never speak of male authority.......our textbook of schools are filled with topics saying harmful effects of male authority.......
I can guarantee that what you said is right. Either toxic culture or feminism.
@@tasnimJashin 1st one is toxic culture but the 2nd one is kinda stupidity for a South Asian man.
The parents has no right to force you to marry someone. Because in Islam, it's totally prohibited. So what you have to do? First, discuss with your parents kindly about the free choice as a right islam gives to every muslim whatever man or woman to choose the partner he/she likes. If it's difficult. Second, approaches the relatives whose your parents are close the most and be sure that they talk with opened mind on this subject. If it's difficult ! Third, go to see an imam and explains him the situation. Invites him at home to talk to your parents. If all theses ideas fail. The last resort is to desobey your parents. Desobey your parents and shows them that Islam prohibited forced marriage according to the verse 19 of surah An-nissa, chapter 4. But do it respectfully. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'Ala gives the right to desobey the parents when the parents force you to do something wrong according to the verse 15 of surah Luqman, chapiter 31. End, make dua for your parents and ask Allah to change the heart of your parents. In Sha Allah, they'll change ! 😊
@rafsansalam9727 why should they not obey their wives? You sound txc.
alhamdulillah im Bengali but my parents are very understanding Bengali parents, in the sense they are very open to marrying whomever we would like as long as they fit the basic requirements a muslim man needs and so forth, but they are also open to us marrying outside of culture. perhaps this is because my mother was born here and dad came to the uk quite young, and because they're quite young and modern, they're in their mid forties to fifties and im now 20.
Whatever we do must be according to the Quran and Sunnah not according to the culture
@@MohammadMostafi-j1gWe shouldn’t discount culture, unless it goes against Qur’an and Sunnah. No people or tribe, should look down on their culture, unless it goes against Islam. Arabs, Europeans, West Asian and Africans all are proud of their culture and we see it in their marriages, but it only becomes a problem in South Asian marriages. Why are the younger generation of South Asians, denouncing their culture, to fit in with other people? It’s that inferiority complex, where they think the other man’s culture is superior. We need to stop this victim mentality, and just fix the haram elements in the culture, rather than getting rid of it all.
Why will you betray Bengalis and marry out?
@@incrediblehulk8031🤣🤣🤣
@@incrediblehulk8031man said betray. Bro your too funny
Those girls are the most somali looking bengalis I've seen
😂😂 came here to say the exact same thing but instead kept scrolling down to find the comment
Swears😂
Tbf Somali culture is very similar to Bengali culture.
Somali Islamic culture I meant
Its interesting to listen to what I would say "young" people (I'm like 10-15 years older).
I feel like many of these things have been fixed in the generation before me (like touching feet etc).
As I am from London, maybe its different. I'm thinking Bengalis up north (based on the speakers accents) is still very traditional (or at least continue the strict traditional stuff that isn't Islamic).
It would be good to also hear "older" people who have married and looking back at their experience.
Yes bro, my family stopped touching feet 25 years ago. I think this group is probably the last batch of British Bengali 2nd generationers, or they could have one 1st generation parent, which carries on the cultural baggage.
I don't think its a generational thing. I think its more this audience is young and likely the ones that have gone through stuff has had bad experience.
They are also using their own modern/western filter to describe things. Which is fine, that's their opinion, but I don't think it helps them understand their parents.
SubhanAllah how can your mum tell you “ you have no chance getting married bc you’re a dark skinned” walaah you’re beautiful more beautiful than your light skinned sister! May Allah give you a good righteous husband hugs from London 🤗🤗
for bangladeshis, I think another factor is that they are less likely to know english vs other groups which also leads to them to being more traditional. south asian culture is very family oriented with the parents having highest authority. the son's wife is also supposed to be following the son's mother and living with them, so that's easier done if they are both from the same culture. many bangladeshis are also very alone, so they have nothing besides their family. the first generation being raised in the west is going to have a very hard time appeasing themselves and their parents. south asian marriages are also far from being love marriages, so anything that has to do with "finding someone compatible" is a completely foreign concept to traditional south asian families. there's pros and cons with both sides.
Love comes after marriage brother. Before marriage it is lust. If you don’t see that then maybe you’re a woman. In that case I get you.
The question should be how do you know someone is good before telling your parents? Unless you are meeting him / her which is haram . I'm not backing the older generation, but it worked, the divorce rates were near 0% , now we see divorce left right and centre, most of these are love marriages. Love after marriage is a winner
@Fortifier1021 where people say " I like someone " trust me the wali wasn't in sight
"Divorce rates were near 0" it's because so many of them mainly the women knew they had no other option but to stay and suffer in the marriage.
@EdwardHohenheim no mate, maybe your mother suffered but everybody I know is good and happy with their arranged marriage. I said NEAR 0% compared to today's rates ,obviously i do understand not all marriages will work out that's why there is the option to have divorce. Mine was arranged as well, I had the option like MOST people to choose out of a lot of brides to be. Every Muslim parents want the best for their children
30:56 Allahumma Barik Br. Ali, that was a very real and sensitive confession. I love the fact that despite that you don’t take a victim mentally and stay steadfast on deen. May Allah guide your father and may keep all of us on the straight path
The zina story really got to me. SubhanAlla, its really tragic that it went there. Parents really need to understand their kids more and not be such dictators to them
Timestamp akh
@@chagzyahyaso pathetic asking for a timestamp
@@ahmedhussein8493
I dont remember exactly but around the 31:00 mark
@scaryjoker why? Out of all the pathetic things people can do in this world, why would you say that asking for a certain story's timestamp is "So Pathetic ??"
Alhamdulilah!!! majority of Bengali people are not like this? So many Bengali mixed muslim marriages. Not everyone is from your villiage.
Yo sheikh wagwan Syeeeeed is here 😂
سلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
حسن الظن
We were talking issues that plague our society also we all we were talking some about our personal issues & experiences, also speaking on general terms not once we said everyone or every single Bengali family are the same we said this in this in this video , my brother IA marrying a revert Muslim sister so things are changing , , you may not know me or my struggles which is between me and Allah swt so doing these type of videos is bringing Islam to the forefront than the Hindu. Culture that got mixed up in our Bengali culture, but it seems you got the wrong end of the stick l literally said every single hse hold is different everyone isn’t the same , I’m guessing ur from back home / Bangladesh 🇧🇩 that’s why it seems to me you got offended but if you play it back you will clearly see / hear I made that distinction ☝️🤲👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
I’m going have to do a reaction video to this get few things cleared up , my phraseology wording came out wrong, so I need to clear up & make some corrections or bit more clear IAon my channel or if we do another episode IA , I will make reaction video soon IA☝️🤲🇵🇸🇧🇩🇬🇧
@@thesiren1268who is this ?
@SyedReacxts Ameen
and may Allah ﷻ keep you steadfast brother
I swear man I kiss my mums feet doesn’t got to do with Islam but her feet she can step on me wallah she raised me and brought me up and gave me love and care kiss her hand and feet
WHAT, SHE CAN STEP ON YOU?! This level of obedience is like worshipping her astagfirullah 🤦🏾♂
Shirk
Brother Ali you forced the brother to agree with you but he is genuinely not a polygamist. Your point of all men are polygamist is defeated😂
False. When he said no headache what was the response? So he proved Ali’s point.
The sister with the pink hijaab is so beautifully and confident mashallah..
The brother next to Ali is also handsome and confident mashallah
That brother with shades needs psychological help. He has been traumatised by his situation
Annoying. Quran says if you can’t be just, marry one. Why is the host isn’t mentioning that? Why not let a man have his preference? Nabi SAW was married to only Khadija until her death….
'We never doubt our parent's intentions' - that is very naive mate. Earlier in the conversation, the young brother said his mother was looking for someone to take care of her in her old age. The young brother's mother wasn't looking out for him but looking out for herself.
Salam from a Bengali Bangladeshi 🇧🇩 in Australia 🇦🇺
A broader range of ages and backgrounds would have been more beneficial as these youngsters cute as they are have a limited understanding, you will get a massive difference in opinion depending on the region of Bangladesh you come from
Ali portrayed Bangladesh in such a negative way, it’s insane. These kids are from the poorest and most uneducated part of Bangladesh, they are disgrace to their own community. Only hybrid Banglis will agree with them. The whole conversation was a completion of feminism and western alienated culture, they happen to born in a Bangladeshi family. They don’t know or understand the culture identity and values of Bangladeshis.
I think br. Ali and others in the community want to bring awareness to the demographic of the first time marriage to address the problem of the increasing divorce rates. Especially for the Muslims with strong cultures living in the west. Many of them are first generation.
@@America_1st_the.rest.r_lastAli wants to destroy the beautiful variety of Islamic cultures around the world and turn all Muslims into some monotone Arab loving race.
My father stopped talking to my Bengali uncle all because he married a Latina revert. Hopefully sending this video to him might change his attitude to interracial marriages.
I’ve gave up on Muslim marriages icl.
Bengali girls don’t allow to have second wife, they rather end marriage than letting the husband have second wife
Bengali brother Sayid couldn't even handle one bengali wife. Second wife? Forget about it :D
Polygamy is not for everyone. If you want a second wife than I’d suggest you find a wife that is okay with polygamy than forcing it upon someone.
@@Nikko649 I agree but as we blame on parents that they don’t know much about islam or follow islam so if we know so much we should follow it and do as it asks
@@Nikko649 in islam second or 4th wife shouldn’t be an issue however our sisters don’t want it yet blame it on parents for everything
@@Haaireofficial we are all at the age where we shouldn’t blame others for our own decisions. Yes it shouldn’t be an issue, though again. It is not for everyone
Shaikh Ahmed an-Najmi said, "The mother is the *first school*. If she is righteous, the progeny becomes righteous."
[Fath-ur-Rabb al-Wadud (2/256)]
Our parents are always "right". We can not tell them what they do wrong. When they realise they are wrong and wants you to involve the Situation, we stay away from the Situation, i think we are not doing wrong.
Thank you for this show Brother Ali❤. I also learnt that when a brother or sister is strong minded/follows Islam, they have good knowledge, maturity and intelligence. Honestly Brother Ali, you are an example
One of my favorite episodes. Mashallah well spoken brothers and sisters. ❤️
As a girl you should avoid dating and offering yourselves to guys before marriage amongst other things. This will help many women marry faster.
The girls are absolutely beautiful.
Bowinng down an touching an elders feet is seen as a mark of deep respect in the Bengali culture and the rest of the indian subcontinent. Its a way of showing respect and seeking blessings from the elders. This has got nothing to do with Islam or religion. Its more of a cultural and social custom prevalent in the indian subcontinent. This should not be considered as anything bad or being subordinate. It's just a local tradition.
Shouldn’t be bowing down to anyone but Allah, best to leave Hindu culture out of it
@@El.Generico You are not bowing down in that sense!! Its not an act of worwship but more of a South Asian custom and tradition of showing respect and seeking blessings from ones elders; This is not to be confused with religious aspects of bowing down to Allah and most people are sensible enough to know the difference.
Brother Ali please don’t ever bring these sisters again, till they learn how to stop interrupting…
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This culture issues are not just in Bengalis but also in Pakistanis. We literally have same old fashion parents who never agree they are wrong or they can make wrong decisions and they put culture over religion. You are right we have to break up the cycle and educate them but sometimes they are stubborn and want things there way
Just because a man doesn't want to marry more than one woman, doesn't mean he's not emotionally intelligent. He is smart and knows he will get more out of his woman, the more he gives to her. He spread himself to other women, he will be missing out on the full experience of the woman that he has. Women have a lot of love to give.
Some women though are suited for polygamy. So are some men. It is not for everyone. Stop trying to convince men that they have something deficient in them if they do not want more than one wife. Some people are content with one.
He was just tryna prove a point, as the Bengali brother implied its something to do with men being South Asian when it isnt. It is not that deep.
I too think it’s disgraceful that he attempted to say something was “wrong” I.e gay with the man who doesn’t want more than one, would love to ask him what he thought the Prophet SAW was when he was a young good looking man married to an older woman monogamously for 25 years, would he say the same about him!
@@Truthivist101 He never said marrying one wife is bad lol, you're just making up stuff now
Whattruthwist101 said
Agreed 👍
This is a mix of western, Asian and a Middle Eastern religion. Most second and third generation Bengalis can’t even distinguish what they represent, let alone getting married to next person.
The issue in this video has jumped into faith before culture (ofc God comes before all else) but the point here is you can’t erase historical baggage that easily.
I’d say the conversation needs to start with why do we hold onto a set of practices that don’t fit the pace of 2nd and 3rd generations rate of learning. Mums and dads in this community still hold high value to wisdom, old age , and community politics. Taking a higher ranking before islamic scripture; the internet brought an unparalleled generation that can’t work within the old school framework simple.
UPDATE* tldr: you can’t both be right and do wrong.
When she said her Mum doesn't know who Allah is because she doesnt read the translation of the Qur'an and they need to know who Allah is was bang out of order, every relationship with Allah is personal, dont think you know better than your parents in that sense because you can read and that makes you think you know who Allah is, as if it's in a 3rd person context.
So true my brother. I thought the same thing. How dare she
Nothing wrong with what she said at all, avoiding the issue and making excuses like you is far worse imo. How is a Muslim supposed to understand the deen if all they do is recite Quran, and not try to understand the meaning of matters in the religion?
Alot of south asian parents are like that, hence their kids become corrupt as theres a lack of tarbiyah from the parents at home.
but the first word revealed is literally to READ.
Why is Ali pressuring the guy to say he wants a second wife when he clearly said he doesn’t…. Weird behaviour trying to apply dominance
No, he can see he's giving a conditioned political correct answer. Guys can tell. I could before ali even started
It's not just the man's emotional intelligence, but it's also the expectations of women. What constitutes the following :
1 - what is treated fairly/unfairly ?
2 - wife's expectations?
3 - is a wife's emotional outburst justified ?
4 - understanding the husband can't be in 2 places at once.
5 - the wife's understanding of the other wife's needs.
Etc etc etc. to elaborate a little. Anyone can claim they are being treated unfairly , who decides the standards ? Wife no:1 may want to go on a holiday , but wife no:2 may need a boiler fixed for heating. If the husband chooses to fix a boiler as it's fundamentally a necessity and a holiday is a luxury, would wife no:1 claim being mistreated ?
If wife no:1 kicks off and is unreasonable is that the fault of his emotional intelligence? So I give this analogy to point out that women need to take responsibility also and not just dump the responsibility and blame on a man's emotional intelligence.
I'd be annoyed if I had to sacrifice going on holiday because
of wife no2 boiler haha 😄
Most of the points here also happen in my African Muslim culture as a Malian from west Africa. The marring Someone from ur culture only doesn’t matter if they are Muslim I had the talk when I was a teenager, the same with the mahar in my culture it is never discussed with the woman just the man and her father or uncles, to not divorcing when there are major problems to safe face or they will disown you. Many African men not having the means yet marrying multiple women where now she has to go out and work or he neglects one in favor of the other etc. I and my cousins had these culture struggles to go against Islam when culture is wrong but is still used to pressure us to do things and it causes harms we have to bear and injustice we suffer from when they are not even part of the deen. Omg I am so happy I watched this I thought I lived in an alternate universe. I hope you can do an episode like this with west African Muslims as I did saw the Somali episode but we are still different. Although it seems it’s the same clash if haram culture and Islam.
Our parents grew up in a different era, they only gained the most basic Islamic knowledge ie salah, zakah, hajj etc; they weren’t exposed to fique side of Islam, hence the gap of knowledge in that side of the Islam. Anybody with pure Islamic knowledge would never force their children against their choice of marriage. Alhamdulillah, second and third generation of parents are definitely changing and inshaAllah they will continue to change with more Islamic knowledge.
The best episode our brother and sister bangali same as other cultures alot of cultures normes which is wrong in Islam but the young generation is their duty to change anything that doesn’t appeal’s allaah’s deen like I say I learned alot the inner culture aspect allaahuma baarik all of you and absolutely we need more educational episodes like this bro Ali daw’a
I’m gonna be honest, I switched off after 13 minutes. These guys r all speaking subjectively and all their experiences r bad, what’s the probability. Oh dear. That’s not how marriage works in Bangladeshi culture. In a nutshell most deshi parents act as matchmakers when their children show interest in marriage.
@@userx74bvx43vx no. I’m not speaking about myself. I’m speaking about 90%+ of my family members marriages and friends marriages and non friends marriages as well. Yeah, there r one or two horror stories but that’s not the norm.