Remember, masturbation isn't gay and when it's your identical twin it's basically masturbation, right? Especially if they have the exact same haircut and '80s German porn 'stashe.
I love how the character from Tartarus, no scam was too big or small. He scams an orphanage out of $40,000, and then sells an old lady a $50 video tape.
I can’t properly put into words how funny I found the couch sitting scene in Born into Mafia. The squeaking of everyone sitting down, the complete silence, and the host just awkwardly waiting for everyone to settle before suddenly standing back up. It’s the perfect scene, eat your heart out Goodfellas.
when the twin dragon encounter bit started, I must say watching two assumedly gay men bully a fat guy was kind of disturbing. Mike and Jay shouldn't treat Rich so poorly
The only thing that would make it better would be another Deandra Brown film (I think she made another one? I don’t remember) but unfortunately since the guys had to take down their Diamond Cobra vid that’s unlikely to happen.
@@oneinathousand2156 thats one of my favorite BOTWs. Its a shame they had to take it down. Someone else put it up on their channel. I dont usually click on RLM ripoff channels but ill keep watching that one every so often
Except, and I was rather shocked to realise this, neither Twin Dragon Encounter nor Dragon Hunt are directed by a McNamara. With "The Real Twin Dragons" however Michael finally steps up from starring, writing and producing to also direct.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I work with the guy who played the Red Skull of Death in Dragon Hunt. His name is Charles Ambrose and he is one of the nicest dudes you'll ever meet. He was also one of shedders soldiers in the first live action TMNT movie. He loves B movies. He's also a champion Judo Fighter from back in the day and is currently a power lifter. Great dude all around.
"Heart attack! Heart attack!" The idea of our heroes running after a man, cheering for him to have a heart attack is one of the funniest images I've ever imagined 😂 I'm crying
That was amazing. It reminded me of Eric Andre screaming "Nightmare! Nightmare!" at the little girl tripping on LSD. But they're supposed to be our heroes.
1:30:50 Vitali: So, in this scene we are in bed together naked... Actress: No. Vitali: Is important to show they are intimate... Actress: No. Vitali: Is very important scene with news of father dead-dying... Actress: Look, I'll stand next to the bed with a towel on. That's all you're gonna get. Vitali: Will you be naked under towel? Actress: No.
Except it all happened in Russian. Wait no, shit, not Russian. Vitalik is definitely not Russian. No seriously, he isn't, he can't be! His surname is Versace, ffs!
I dunno. I got some Dark Seed ll vibes. That was a weird FMV-ish computer game that's so bad it's good. It's like the dude who made this movie had played the game and thought, "Dude, I could make a movie like that, but better. "
Remember that Jacob's Ladder remake? Also this, only the production lead was sitting next to him and nodding, saying, "I can get you up to 25 million." And yet, I'd rather watch Tartarus.
I took it more that they didn’t ask for any money because they hate the Canadian government for making MMA illegal. They probably put that in as a “fuck the government” type of statement.
I knew the twins and my dad was a henchmen in the Twin Dragon movies. They didn't get government help mostly because they didn't get any permits for anything. The helicopter explosion got the cops called and the prop guy went to jail for the weapons using live ammo. All the shot of bullets landing near the twins were actual bullets being fired at them. Mick and Martian are actually psychopaths.
100% in Jack's camp regarding Tartarus. A scene where your unstable protaganist's drug dealer suddenly reveals he is a cop and holds him at gunpoint demanding to know *who his drug dealer is*? That's some straight-up Philip K Dick stuff right there. That's practically Kafka. And it's got body horror, "The Room"-level scenery-chewing, and bargain-basement CGI too? I am *sold*, baby.
That PKD analogy is perfect. That and the weird blend of sci-fi trappings with Gnostic-style religious imagery makes these clips feel oddly PKD-esque, and you’re right, the cop/drug dealer thing where you’re confused about what the hell is going on is very Scanner Darkly. Jack and Mike are totally on point about this. Maybe if they got the director of Tales from Genesis Space to direct it…
Also, based on these clips, David Wascally Wabit is not necessarily the worst actor. There’s something Q/Burt Ward-esque about him playing the smug, superior divinity figure.
I think Dave Wascavage is a genuinely intelligent, cultured person, even if it didn’t come off that way in the behind the scenes video. He is just a very bad filmmaker
@@sudotablehead1659 Had to look up what that is. 1.1/10. Holy shit, that rating is even more abysmal. His other special isn't much better, either. 1.5/10 ... Maybe he should just admit to himself that he isn't funny. I saw parts of his first special. It was an atrocious experience.
@@sudotablehead1659 I did not know who Gringo Papi was... until today. Now I know and i know why he is at 1.1. it is your fault. I blame you for my suffering.
(S)hooting Star Productions having a cut off letter is so similar to the Versace Entertainmen(t) being cut off on the novel of Last Vampire on Earth that if Versace wasn't so clueless I'd almost think it was an intentional prank.
The best episodes of Best of the Worst are the ones where the movie is so bad that the gang just writes another actually good movie, and this one goes 3 for 3.
I love when Colin has his own isolated adventures in Canada. It really expands the RLM-universe lore. We just need a crossover with him and Jim doing more Canada things.
I like how a major aspect of The Sopranos was that going to a psychiatrist was sort of a taboo in the mob world because it could potentially be viewed as a sign of weakness, and Tony was very paranoid about people finding out he was seeing one. But in the Born Into Mafia universe, the mob actually has psychiatrists on the payroll, just to convince people who don't want to do things that they should do them.
@@JJW3stigmata? Think you mean stigma, stigmata are the wounds that Jesus got when he was nailed to the cross, so holes in the hands and feet, and cuts around the forehead
@@SkigBiggler You need to brush up on your Sopranos. "Stigmata" is the joke. That was a line from the Sopranos spoken by NY mob boss Carmine Lupertazzi in one of the episodes.
@Rockman fan honestly, having seen/heard him on escapist, I'm 90% sure it's a running gag, 10% that they ask because he doesn't realize that he's misremembering a different story every time
The fact that Vitaliy Versace fucked up two different logos, in the exact same fashion, is still hilarious. Hooting Star Productions, in association with Versace Entertainmen, presents Born into the Last AIDS Vampire on Eart
The Vitaliy Versace segment is the best part of this episode. I have dug deep into this man's life just on his TH-cam channel, it's fascinating. The version of Born into Mafia on YT is uploaded with a version where speech bubbles appear above the characters, especially with the scene when Vitaliy meets his online friend's mother, to clear any misunderstandings from the DVD version. 😂
It's funny that you mention a potential sequel to Born Into Mafia, because Born Into Mafia 2 does actually exist. Vitaliy made it. The second half of the movie is literally just ripped straight from Taken. Not even just the same plot points delivered in a much worse way, but word-for-word dialogue too. It's so brutally shameless and it's amazing to watch.
I love how the special effects that Colin no doubt created in his lunch break look way better than the stuff Dave Wascavage painstakenly put together over many months ^^
@@poopsmith6853 and also we are in 2021, with better access to better technology. Not that I think it would make much of a difference, just being fair. xD
@@samuelperezgarcia Exactly! I know the effects were bad but people often compare old video effects to modern CGI and you kinda can't. It's like laughing at the performance of a car from the 1920s while racing it against a car from 2021. There's better tech now and amateurs can do in weeks what million dollar movies took months or even years to do back then. But David's effects still suck ass lol.
I decided to see if "Bazooka Joe" was in the original Wackipedia, Urban Dictionary. It has been for almost 20 years... Maybe not the same definition as Mike's, but there are several variations on the same theme.
Tartarus is straight up a Lynchian madness. I'm glad Jack and Jay enjoyed it. Rich was right when he said "Bad movies aren't fun unless the person who made the movie tried."
This video shows how special Neil Breen really is. His films are 4/4 for Best of the Worst, while most other auteurs of his level only have one great film in them.
Didn't even know about that. There's so many of these ending bits I've probably missed because I'm usually asleep by that point. I can't help it. Mr. Evans' laughter is a powerful sedative.
both Vitaliy Versace and his child, Vitaliy Versace Jr., worked on the 2020 version of Aladdin! No, no, not the Disney one, the one that Vitaliy directed!
Vitaliy Versace shooting such an important scene at a wedding venue is just silly. He should have shot it in the parking lot outside his studio like a professional.
Having four characters quietly walk into a living room and all sit down, then take half a beat, then having one stand up to go get tea... I'm convinced that Vitali Versace is an alien.
I'd just like to point out that the "3002" sticker on the Twin Dragon Encounter box is there in the original review, Colin's sawed in half version, and the reassembled tape Rich gets in the mail. That's some commitment to continuity.
Serious question: is Born into Mafia supposed to be a modern adaptation of Hamlet? There's an evil uncle who murders his brother to get his throne, and then sets his sights on his brother's son. The son gets disillusioned about the business as a whole, and wonders if any of it is even worth it. Meanwhile, he's being constantly plagued by visions. He's also got two interchangeable friends who are way in over their heads and are killed off unceremoniously.
Hey, all this stuff about born into mafia is great, but what I really want to know is: 1: does the son want to kill people? 2: does the father have anyone he trusts? 3: does the son have anywhere in particular he wants to go?
It's subtle, but if you pick up the clues, you will find that: 1. The son does not want to kill people. 2. The father only trusts his son to take over the family business. 3. The son wants to go to America. But again, you really have to be paying attention to catch this.
I think it's funny that, since I so often watch Best of The Worst (and other RLM content) while I'm cooking, my kids are going to associate the quality family time of Saturday morning waffles, Tuesday night tacos, even Thanksgiving feasts, with the sound of Rich Evans's distinct laughter.
I'm from Wisconsin and it's amazing that a bunch of professionally talented men of now middle age are this popular talking about old movies. Don't quit or ever give up bestoftheworst!
My heart skipped a beat when I didn’t see Rich Evans during the first film screening and then filled with joy when I heard his cackle at Mike’s joke before the 2nd film :) God bless you Rich Evans
SUPRISE! I am the funniest YTer evah!!!! Just kidding, it was no surprise. Everybody knew already. HAHAHHAHA!!!! That was an amazing joke (it was real talk though). WAWAWAWAWA!!!! Good afternoon, dear call
I feel like Vitale Versace was the fredo of a mob family who wanted to go into the family business, but was so much of a fredo that they decided just to pay off any passion project he wants in exchange for using his studio as a laundering front
@@miskatonic_alumni Maybe his mob family is pulling a Producers and is selling like 500% shares of Vitaly's movies knowing they'll flop so they can write it off on their taxes.
I'm surprised Mike didn't bring up the star Trek TNG episode "Frame of Mind" during the Tartarus discussion, as that's essentially what Jack's "Good version" of it was.
"I groomed you for this!" Ivan's father says, repeatedly. Well, not very well, apparently! If he'd actually been grooming Ivan to take over the family business, he would have had him blow a guy's brains out at age 12 or something, to get him desensitized to violence and killing. Sounds like the old man didn't lay the proper groundwork, so he's got no one to blame but himself that his son doesn't want to be a gangster.
He was referring to his hygiene, hair cut, and clothing. You can't be a slob in the Russian mob - no one respect you without brand name on clothes, mishko.
Utoya Island is the worst Versace film. It's so tasteless. You don't make an action thriller out of a terrorist attack that targeted children. But Vitaly did it.
@@jeffredfern3744 ffs I had to google to see if this is not a joke. Now I want a Spotlight episode about it. I never knew this guy has so much credits to his name on imdb. I thought he was another Tommy Wiseau type of guy with one, maybe two movies made. Best discovery of this evening.
I recently watched Marvel's Shang Chi in theatres. I was bored out of my mind, but was happily surprised to realize the plot of Shang Chi is basically BORN INTO MAFIA!
Fun fact: Vitaliy Versace recently directed a film called Homie Alone (Renamed Beverly Hills Bandits) which is Home Alone but Ron Jeremy is one of the main actors. Mr. Maculkin needs to come to Milwaukee ASAP for a viewing
Iiiii don't think a review featuring noted absuer Ron Jeremy is a good idea given that it's gonna be nonstop cracking wise about what a scumbag he is aaaaand Maculkins history with that...yeeeeh
The best part about bald guys acting is the “nervous rock” where he’s like moving back and forth the whole time he’s talking. Like the shy kid giving a presentation.
Wow, I always thought crack was just heated cocaine but Mike got me questioning it and a quick Google reveals that it’s just a little more complicated than that. Kudos RLM, so educational
I love that the head of the Russian mafia wrote that warning note to his son in English before attaching it to his dead friend. Russian would've been far too hard for the audience to read.
Hell, you could've written it in Klingon and no one in the target audience for that film would've realized it wasn't Cyrillic script. *Star Trek reference!*
@@ericv00 Not if you use it for something equally irresponsible like bringing Twin Dragon Encounters back from the grave. Then it cancels out. Like math or something.
Real talk, if you find yourself in Saskatoon, go to The Rook and Raven, order the pork belly with Saskatoon Berry sauce. It is the best and only example of Saskatoon berries not tasting like disappointment. Also, Saskatoon is the opposite of dangerous. It's where bunny hugs are.
Tell me you guys notice that when Jack is freaked out about what he sees in a movie and puts his hands on the side of his face with his mouth open he looks just like the ghost face emoji? 😱
"Let the fools have their Tartarus" sounds like something Mr Burns would actually say. Like if he was trying to be worldly and intellectual while giving people something he thinks would ultimately make them miserable.
@@BTSlipperypete same. They faked me out with Dracula 3000 in the April fool's episode, and they left out some of my favorite bits of Cybernator. I think it's funnier and there's more to it than they made it seem. Maybe I'm biased? It's weird.
I bought up a handful of Wascavage's films and the commentary track for Tartarus is hilarious.There were only three guys who'd handled basically every aspect of the production (including acting) and they're laughing the entire time, cracking jokes. I'm with Jack on "what could've been" regarding the presentation and plot, though the low budget stuff in the film I have no problem ignoring. It's no one willing to challenge Wascavage on his stilted dialogue that's probably the most glaring issue with his productions, as I think his ideas and ambience aren't that bad. Malevolent Ascent, a film of his that's basically Devil before Devil, has a pretty compelling atmosphere and a Hitchcock style plot, but falls flat for similar reasons as Tartarus.
I'm probably going to Tartarus for laughing at the part where the guys groan as John is taking off his belt but are relieved when he is just going to use the belt to beat the other guy instead of what they originally thought.
Just imagine David Wascavage directing any movie which actually has to touch upon child sex abuse. That might be even worse than when Uwe Boll directed the comedic 9/11 bit in Postal.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate Jack's facial responses throughout the screening off all these films and those that have come before them. His expressions always depict how immersed he is in these films, despite how bad they can be.
![ทททททททท #27 [หลุยส์ เค โตมายังไง ณ สระบุรี]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/CaKoYw_Xmtg/mqdefault.jpg)
Fun fact: Tartarus has a higher IMDb rating than Space Jam A New Legacy.
That makes complete sense. WB should've put that movie out with the new Space Jam title on it and made billions.
how embarrassing *slide whistle*
Fair enough
So IMDB ratings are accurate, good to know
Deserved
Their resigned disappointment at the lack of homoeroticism in Dragon Hunt is my favorite part
The ball sucking and anal probing of Tartarus seems to have satiated their needs.
@@micksplace especially Jay’s.
Remember, masturbation isn't gay and when it's your identical twin it's basically masturbation, right? Especially if they have the exact same haircut and '80s German porn 'stashe.
They hoped the name "dragon hunt" was an analogy for the hunt for AIDS
I would have been disappointed too. There can never been too much ATV sharing scenes.
I love how the character from Tartarus, no scam was too big or small. He scams an orphanage out of $40,000, and then sells an old lady a $50 video tape.
It's about the love of the game for him. Just being awful and day drinking.
That's business baby.
@@friedchicken297 Don't forget about all that crack he snorts.
Hey, that pure Bolivian don't come cheap
@@scottmckinstry1698 pure Bavarian nose-crack
I can't believe they never mention that John from Tartarus is also poorly dressed cop from Suburban Sasquach.
oh my god!!! you are right
"JOHN WHAT IS THIS JOHN"
"MA'AM, CALM DOWN"
I've lost sleep over this fact.
a true chameleon
People Online have called Redlettermedia “The Best Crime Movie Reviewers”
I am a people online and I support this message
@@A_Toastonawhiteplate But....I thought you were a toast
4/50 stars
The best people
Bald mobster guy: HEY YOU GUYS I HAVE SOME EXPOSITION FOR YOU ABOUT YOUR INTERNET FRIEND IVAN WHOSE FATHER I MADE PROMISE TOO!
I can’t properly put into words how funny I found the couch sitting scene in Born into Mafia. The squeaking of everyone sitting down, the complete silence, and the host just awkwardly waiting for everyone to settle before suddenly standing back up. It’s the perfect scene, eat your heart out Goodfellas.
"Just making sure the couch stills works".
Vitality Versace is an Emmy Award winner for this film?
@@amateurfun Scam artist? This man is a US Senator!!
@@Vaporvice84 Just showing everyone how to sit in case they didn't know
It looked like something you'd see happen in Sims.
I would argue that the McNamara twins are themselves each half of a Neil Breen, or a "Twisted Pair," if you will.
Ironically the Lead in Tartarus also had a twisted pair
Neil Breen and Neil Breen are at least distinct characters from each other. And they have girlfriends who are more developed.
I KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
my god
unfortunately they're the same half
when the twin dragon encounter bit started, I must say watching two assumedly gay men bully a fat guy was kind of disturbing. Mike and Jay shouldn't treat Rich so poorly
Loved this comment bc it subverted my expectations fr tho🤣
I clapped, because I know who Mike, Jay and Rich are. This is AMAZING!
As the kids say, boom got ‘em.
@@VsevolodYuminov Me personally, I loved this comment!
C'mon now, Rich is not that fat.
Kubrick, Coppola, Scorsese.
McNamara, Wascavage, Versace.
Legendary directors.
Beautifully said
The only thing that would make it better would be another Deandra Brown film (I think she made another one? I don’t remember) but unfortunately since the guys had to take down their Diamond Cobra vid that’s unlikely to happen.
@@oneinathousand2156 thats one of my favorite BOTWs. Its a shame they had to take it down. Someone else put it up on their channel. I dont usually click on RLM ripoff channels but ill keep watching that one every so often
@@jellyneck7978 its my only downloaded youtube video and if it ever dissapears Ill spam it so hard
Except, and I was rather shocked to realise this, neither Twin Dragon Encounter nor Dragon Hunt are directed by a McNamara.
With "The Real Twin Dragons" however Michael finally steps up from starring, writing and producing to also direct.
Me watching a movie: Ooh over 90 mins? I don’t have time.
RLM releases anything: Time to watch right now.
Are you me?
Truth.
I didn't even check to see how long the video was before I started watching. I don't remember the last time I did that with a movie.
Of course, RLM content is better than 90% of the movies/TV shows/series that come out today.
I've already rewatched this episode. I missed important details.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I work with the guy who played the Red Skull of Death in Dragon Hunt. His name is Charles Ambrose and he is one of the nicest dudes you'll ever meet. He was also one of shedders soldiers in the first live action TMNT movie. He loves B movies. He's also a champion Judo Fighter from back in the day and is currently a power lifter. Great dude all around.
The one shot they showed of a close up on his eyes was the best acting in that movie.
FWIW, I went to uni with spoon bending boy from The Matrix
yes ok but what is you two actual job
@@Zontar82 security
@@jamesflowers8054 Please ask him to send signed headshots to the Milwaulkee Boys
I think Born into Mafia is a deeply personal autobiographical story.
Like his dad ran an Italian deli but he wanted to make movies in America.
I’m 100% certain you’re right
"you were *GROOMED* to make hoagies."
Versace is Russian. He was born in the Ukraine.
@@plawson8577 Wouldn't he be Ukrainian then?
@@joelsmith5938 He was born in Moscow. In the USSR
"Heart attack! Heart attack!" The idea of our heroes running after a man, cheering for him to have a heart attack is one of the funniest images I've ever imagined 😂 I'm crying
RIP Bubba
It's what you say when you're chasing a husky, sweaty man in the woods and you don't want to waste ammo, stab him, or spank him.
A cruel irony that two same-sex partners would be such bullies to a man for being different from them. :(
That was amazing. It reminded me of Eric Andre screaming "Nightmare! Nightmare!" at the little girl tripping on LSD. But they're supposed to be our heroes.
G
I don't think they really loved each other, I think they loved themselves and couldn't tell each other apart.
The ultimate narcist, a twin is miles better than a mirror.
I never thought about Mike and Rich that way but it all makes sense now.
Incredibly chilling observation, well done
@@slackerdenile8836 I wonder if Mike and rich argue about who is the better looking of the 2.
1:30:50 Vitali: So, in this scene we are in bed together naked...
Actress: No.
Vitali: Is important to show they are intimate...
Actress: No.
Vitali: Is very important scene with news of father dead-dying...
Actress: Look, I'll stand next to the bed with a towel on. That's all you're gonna get.
Vitali: Will you be naked under towel?
Actress: No.
"Will you marry me??" "I am not sure, I barely know you" "I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES!"
Except it all happened in Russian. Wait no, shit, not Russian. Vitalik is definitely not Russian. No seriously, he isn't, he can't be! His surname is Versace, ffs!
@@visassess8607 *shocked Pikachu face*
@@kraanz i just thought of this but what if that's just an alias he goes by and his real name's something really mundane.
@@yapalskippy1807 Like Vitaliy Gucci?
“So dark, thick and exotic, Justin Trudeau himself used it as black face makeup” made me crack so hard.
I lost my ENTIRE mind
Everything I know about Science! I learned from RLM.
Men, find yourself a woman that loves you as much as Trudeau loves Blackface and virtue signaling.
And after that he went after peoples funds when they called him out.
Oh Justin
@@carny15 He really is a true hack and a fraud.
And not in the good way.
The best part of the iMDb listing for The Real Twin Dragons is where the page invites you to "Add a plot".
@@sharpeslass5452 ...add a plot.
YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
It's gonna be hard to top the imdb plot description for The Last Vampire on Earth
Does anyone else share my anxiety when Rich Evans does not appear within the first 5 seconds of a RLM video?
Most days I don't see rich's smiling face I shriek with pain
I always assume the diabetes has taken him.
No, because he was in the thumbnail this time.
Hahaha, I went to the commentary section just for that.
@@thomasgiles2876 Rich Evans is the perfect clickbait. It does nothing to sedate my anxiety.
The protagonist in Tartarus is unscrupulous, but he's no Mrs. Mavilda when it comes to screwing over orphans.
Now you're cooking with ga
Yeah he wasn’t so evil that he was struck by lightning by Santa
strange way to spell mistress vulva
There goes the children's money!
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, CHILDREN
Tartarus is basically someone watching Jacob's Ladder and thinking, "yeah, I can do that."
More like if they saw Jacob’s Ladder and thought it’d be better with aliens instead of demons.
I dunno. I got some Dark Seed ll vibes. That was a weird FMV-ish computer game that's so bad it's good. It's like the dude who made this movie had played the game and thought, "Dude, I could make a movie like that, but better. "
@@mariecarie1 Think I’ve heard of that. Doesn’t that have stuff inspired by H.R. Giger?
Remember that Jacob's Ladder remake? Also this, only the production lead was sitting next to him and nodding, saying, "I can get you up to 25 million." And yet, I'd rather watch Tartarus.
"This film was in no way assisted..." means that they definitely asked for money, and they were definitely told NO.
I was thinking they wanted to make clear they received no government assistance intentionally . which seems to be in line with their philosophy.
Couldn't agree more, they were told where to go and no mistake.
I took it more that they didn’t ask for any money because they hate the Canadian government for making MMA illegal. They probably put that in as a “fuck the government” type of statement.
I knew the twins and my dad was a henchmen in the Twin Dragon movies. They didn't get government help mostly because they didn't get any permits for anything. The helicopter explosion got the cops called and the prop guy went to jail for the weapons using live ammo. All the shot of bullets landing near the twins were actual bullets being fired at them. Mick and Martian are actually psychopaths.
@@howtopeople This makes perfect sense! Excellent!
"That was a long set up for a decent joke." Rich basically summarised Mike in a sentence.
100% in Jack's camp regarding Tartarus. A scene where your unstable protaganist's drug dealer suddenly reveals he is a cop and holds him at gunpoint demanding to know *who his drug dealer is*? That's some straight-up Philip K Dick stuff right there. That's practically Kafka.
And it's got body horror, "The Room"-level scenery-chewing, and bargain-basement CGI too? I am *sold*, baby.
That PKD analogy is perfect. That and the weird blend of sci-fi trappings with Gnostic-style religious imagery makes these clips feel oddly PKD-esque, and you’re right, the cop/drug dealer thing where you’re confused about what the hell is going on is very Scanner Darkly. Jack and Mike are totally on point about this.
Maybe if they got the director of Tales from Genesis Space to direct it…
Also, based on these clips, David Wascally Wabit is not necessarily the worst actor. There’s something Q/Burt Ward-esque about him playing the smug, superior divinity figure.
It looks awesome.
@@jonsmith5058 Makes me feel slightly bad that the rlm crew said he should have been aborted
I think Dave Wascavage is a genuinely intelligent, cultured person, even if it didn’t come off that way in the behind the scenes video. He is just a very bad filmmaker
"Born Into Mafia" has an IMDB rating of 1.3/10. That's impressive.
That's better than Gringo Papi. Impressive.
@@sudotablehead1659 Had to look up what that is. 1.1/10. Holy shit, that rating is even more abysmal. His other special isn't much better, either. 1.5/10 ...
Maybe he should just admit to himself that he isn't funny. I saw parts of his first special. It was an atrocious experience.
@@bodenlosedosenhose1590 I'm sorry for your loss.
@@sudotablehead1659 I did not know who Gringo Papi was... until today. Now I know and i know why he is at 1.1. it is your fault. I blame you for my suffering.
@@Bawrabawla Nail me to cross and put salsa on me. I deserve to burn.
Big fan of how Mike starts rubbing his face like a cat whenever he makes a bad joke, like he’s trying to scrub the embarrassment away.
He'd need a steel wire brush for the kind of scrubbing.
@@oedipism386 Stop that right now.
Thats the same thing Jay does everytime he hear Space cop.
My cat does this when he's taken a sneaky shit somewhere he shouldn't - maybe it's the same for Mike
@@marc-antoinemarcoux697 just gonna tuck the thought of catboy Jay in the back of my mind for later.
Wow Colin’s CG effects are really impressive. He should do stuff like that for a living.
I liked when the pen got zapped out of his hand. I was cracking up at that whole part.
I knew Canada had vhs-tape regenerative technology!
@@Nygaard2
This whole ball game just got nuclear. Imagine if Iraq gets hold of this technology!
@@Nygaard2 We have the technology! We can rebuild them!
(S)hooting Star Productions having a cut off letter is so similar to the Versace Entertainmen(t) being cut off on the novel of Last Vampire on Earth that if Versace wasn't so clueless I'd almost think it was an intentional prank.
Omg my thoughts exactly
maybe this will happen with every vitaly versace movie until the cut-off letters spell out the secret to immortality
I mean there is the inner-RLM conspiracy that Vitaliy is just Mike taking his Sergio cartoon to the next level.
They should rename themselves to Hooting Stars tbh, it’s more catchy
The best episodes of Best of the Worst are the ones where the movie is so bad that the gang just writes another actually good movie, and this one goes 3 for 3.
I love when Colin has his own isolated adventures in Canada. It really expands the RLM-universe lore. We just need a crossover with him and Jim doing more Canada things.
The maple syrup blackface joke was golden.
Best remember;
He IS a scientist for the Canadian Branch of Black Mesa.
(Source: Top Secret re:View)
@@Asahamana Good day, eh.
yeah his work on tartarus was great
@@systematicrisk Col-Len Cunningsinski
The conversation between Ivan and his dad is actually a shockingly realistic portrayal of conversation with Russian parents
It's a shockingly realistic portrayal of conversations with my Dad.
@@f.d.3289 son are ya winning?
Son: "Papa, I wish to go to Amerryka, become big movie star!"
Papa: "нет."
Its honestly giving me Wonder Woman 84 flashbacks
"The TRUTH is, Ivan, you were meant to run this business. It is the TRUTH. You were groomed to take over the Family Business, and it is the TRUTH..."
"come back and she has a bigger mug". Man if this Born into mafia was like a Top Secret spoof mafia movie, it would have epic success.
th-cam.com/video/Mc7ZTANuIOU/w-d-xo.html
I like how a major aspect of The Sopranos was that going to a psychiatrist was sort of a taboo in the mob world because it could potentially be viewed as a sign of weakness, and Tony was very paranoid about people finding out he was seeing one. But in the Born Into Mafia universe, the mob actually has psychiatrists on the payroll, just to convince people who don't want to do things that they should do them.
So what? There's no stigmata these days.
@@JJW3stigmata? Think you mean stigma, stigmata are the wounds that Jesus got when he was nailed to the cross, so holes in the hands and feet, and cuts around the forehead
@@SkigBiggler You need to brush up on your Sopranos. "Stigmata" is the joke. That was a line from the Sopranos spoken by NY mob boss Carmine Lupertazzi in one of the episodes.
oh i just realized thats the reason they had him go to a therapist lmao. to emulate the sopranos
I love how Jack changes the story of where he found Twin Dragon Encounter every time its brought up
Jack, if you see this comment, is this a recurring gag or do you misremember each time? xD
It's a gag guys. Jesus...
It's like the Joker's origin in the dark knight
I choose to believe that he really doesn't know were these movies came from and his mind is to traumatized from the event.
@Rockman fan honestly, having seen/heard him on escapist, I'm 90% sure it's a running gag, 10% that they ask because he doesn't realize that he's misremembering a different story every time
Poor Colin. Even when he isn't there to be tormented by bad movies, he still gets sucked into dealing with bad movies.
The price for being Canadian in a world of bad movies, including Canadian shlock; he is an ambassador of sorts.
Member when Canadian Mike and Canadian Jay were in an episode proper?
Good times.
I was not prepared for the production value in that segment
The fact that Vitaliy Versace fucked up two different logos, in the exact same fashion, is still hilarious. Hooting Star Productions, in association with Versace Entertainmen, presents Born into the Last AIDS Vampire on Eart
The Vitaliy Versace segment is the best part of this episode. I have dug deep into this man's life just on his TH-cam channel, it's fascinating. The version of Born into Mafia on YT is uploaded with a version where speech bubbles appear above the characters, especially with the scene when Vitaliy meets his online friend's mother, to clear any misunderstandings from the DVD version. 😂
God damn this one's feature length!
Imagine if this, or any BoTW episode actually made it to theaters...
It broke new ground!!!!!!
i came to the comments to say this
Wow I didn't even realize the length because I was enjoying myself the whole time.
@@amped333 That's what she said.
I choose to believe that Colin's close-up with his cheeks being blown back was achieved by Jim From Canada pointing a hairdryer at his face.
i heard they needed someone to 'blow back colin's cheeks' and booked my flight
It was a Bazooka Joe.
I just hope they didn't have to use Wascavage's vacuum in reverse.
@Katelyn Rushe 😂 I support this.
It's funny that you mention a potential sequel to Born Into Mafia, because Born Into Mafia 2 does actually exist. Vitaliy made it. The second half of the movie is literally just ripped straight from Taken. Not even just the same plot points delivered in a much worse way, but word-for-word dialogue too. It's so brutally shameless and it's amazing to watch.
I love how the special effects that Colin no doubt created in his lunch break look way better than the stuff Dave Wascavage painstakenly put together over many months ^^
@@poopsmith6853 and also we are in 2021, with better access to better technology. Not that I think it would make much of a difference, just being fair. xD
@@samuelperezgarcia Exactly! I know the effects were bad but people often compare old video effects to modern CGI and you kinda can't. It's like laughing at the performance of a car from the 1920s while racing it against a car from 2021. There's better tech now and amateurs can do in weeks what million dollar movies took months or even years to do back then.
But David's effects still suck ass lol.
As a Reverend, can confirm that posting this on a Sunday morning is truly doing the Lord's work.
Hallelujah!
Amen
Vitaliy Versace/Sergio is known for his social commentary. Is it true if a man refused the body of chicken he's a vampire?
Praise be!
Thank you for spreading the holy gospel to us hack frauds, you hack fraud. Amen 🙏
I love Rich's cackle after Mike makes his wakipedia joke.
I think a better name would be Wankapedia.
The seconds of silence before it too
@@buchan1965a Or Whackipedia.
@@Tsukiru True. The comedic timing was perfect. Crickets then an ear piercing screech of a laugh.
I decided to see if "Bazooka Joe" was in the original Wackipedia, Urban Dictionary. It has been for almost 20 years... Maybe not the same definition as Mike's, but there are several variations on the same theme.
Tartarus is straight up a Lynchian madness. I'm glad Jack and Jay enjoyed it. Rich was right when he said "Bad movies aren't fun unless the person who made the movie tried."
This video shows how special Neil Breen really is. His films are 4/4 for Best of the Worst, while most other auteurs of his level only have one great film in them.
By no means did Colin need to go that hard for that skit, but he did and we love him for it.
hashtag MoreColinSkits
@@ecthroi you know you can just put the actual character instead of typing "hashtag," right?
@@johnlewtas6833 # hashtag MoreColinSkits
I dont love him
Didn't even know about that. There's so many of these ending bits I've probably missed because I'm usually asleep by that point. I can't help it. Mr. Evans' laughter is a powerful sedative.
Almost two hour long BotW? Today must be a good day.
The US has fled Kabul, it is a great day!
@@nigelwestdickens6947 lol
@@nigelwestdickens6947 man, can you not? dont bring this in here
THAY BROKE NEW GROUND!!!!
I didnt even have to use my Ak
5:04 the Rich Evans laugh saves another sinking joke out of thin air, like a diving goalie
Where u been, King? What r u up to? (aside from watching botw)
Miss your videos like you can't imagine
Me at 3:30: I hope Rich evans doesn't have covid.....
1:19:47 My favorite Rich Evans' laugh in this video
He lives!
Oh my god youre alive
both Vitaliy Versace and his child, Vitaliy Versace Jr., worked on the 2020 version of Aladdin! No, no, not the Disney one, the one that Vitaliy directed!
Vitaliy Versace shooting such an important scene at a wedding venue is just silly. He should have shot it in the parking lot outside his studio like a professional.
Exactly or in a car they're mob bosses
"They're Canadian. They all look alike to me." -Jay
Having four characters quietly walk into a living room and all sit down, then take half a beat, then having one stand up to go get tea... I'm convinced that Vitali Versace is an alien.
I'd just like to point out that the "3002" sticker on the Twin Dragon Encounter box is there in the original review, Colin's sawed in half version, and the reassembled tape Rich gets in the mail. That's some commitment to continuity.
That's because it's the same tape, didn't you watch him repair it with advanced science?
No no no wait, I figured it out. It’s because they filmed everything in reverse, they had all this planned out years in advance.
Serious question: is Born into Mafia supposed to be a modern adaptation of Hamlet?
There's an evil uncle who murders his brother to get his throne, and then sets his sights on his brother's son. The son gets disillusioned about the business as a whole, and wonders if any of it is even worth it. Meanwhile, he's being constantly plagued by visions. He's also got two interchangeable friends who are way in over their heads and are killed off unceremoniously.
Yond is brilliant! i concur wholeheartedly.
You’ve put more thought into this than the writer & director did
But Hamlet also tries to come of a crazy while trying to get a confession out of his uncle
@@Annafyz how many time a day do you have to tell your dad you don't want to join the mafia instead you want to go to America?
@@A_Toastonawhiteplate But what if his dad wants him to stay in the mafia, cause he was born into it?
Rich Evans was born to suffer for the amusement of the masses. A noble position.
as it is his destiny
He's like a jester. Only, an embarrassing one.
@@SteelTwilight the fool speaks the truth in the kings court, because he is beneath contempt
Born into suffer
It's his Tartarus
the dialogue delivery from Born Into Mafia was up there among some of the best pornographic films.
Agreed, it's just so intensely erotic🥵
Pornos have more natural dialogue tbh
"Our heroes have now killed a friendly, fluffy dog." - R.Evans (2021)
Hey, all this stuff about born into mafia is great, but what I really want to know is:
1: does the son want to kill people?
2: does the father have anyone he trusts?
3: does the son have anywhere in particular he wants to go?
1. No.
2. Yes.
3. Yes.
It's subtle, but if you pick up the clues, you will find that:
1. The son does not want to kill people.
2. The father only trusts his son to take over the family business.
3. The son wants to go to America.
But again, you really have to be paying attention to catch this.
I lost my ability to breathe because of how hard I was laughing at that bit. The more they said it, the more I lost it.
"What are you doing its just us in the studio today"
Not two minutes later
*RICH SCREECHING*
Rich lives there with Mac remember, rich gets to be big spoon.
I think it's funny that, since I so often watch Best of The Worst (and other RLM content) while I'm cooking, my kids are going to associate the quality family time of Saturday morning waffles, Tuesday night tacos, even Thanksgiving feasts, with the sound of Rich Evans's distinct laughter.
I'm from Wisconsin and it's amazing that a bunch of professionally talented men of now middle age are this popular talking about old movies. Don't quit or ever give up bestoftheworst!
And you being from Wisconsin changes what exactly?
@@sadsdasdasdasddasd that people from Wisconsin are all hacks/frauds like the RLM guys? I dunno
@@sadsdasdasdasddasdYou know the saying: A man from Wisconsin can't tell no liesconsin
My heart skipped a beat when I didn’t see Rich Evans during the first film screening and then filled with joy when I heard his cackle at Mike’s joke before the 2nd film :) God bless you Rich Evans
The joy that comes alive in my heart when I see a fresh RLM post...
SUPRISE! I am the funniest YTer evah!!!! Just kidding, it was no surprise. Everybody knew already. HAHAHHAHA!!!! That was an amazing joke (it was real talk though). WAWAWAWAWA!!!! Good afternoon, dear call
life has meaning for the next 100 minutes
Born Too Late To Conquest The Earth
Born Too Early To Explore The Galaxy
Born Just In Time To Enjoy The Rich Evans
Part of the joy that you get from these boys is their laughter and their... suffering?
I feel like Vitale Versace was the fredo of a mob family who wanted to go into the family business, but was so much of a fredo that they decided just to pay off any passion project he wants in exchange for using his studio as a laundering front
*was the Frodo of a mob family
Wouldn't his studio actually have to make money in order to launder money?
@@miskatonic_alumni Maybe his mob family is pulling a Producers and is selling like 500% shares of Vitaly's movies knowing they'll flop so they can write it off on their taxes.
"There, now you're *technically* in the mafia, so quit bitching already."
@@mikebliss3153 SPRINGTIME,
16:19 Dragon Hunt
42:16 Tartarus
1:05:10 Born into Mafia
I met Rich Evan's at the local Tums Festival and asked for his signature, all he did was belly laugh in my face which was ok too.
You have a festival dedicated to antacid tablets?
@@chadschmaltz9790 Yes, the Tums Festival is an annual gathering of Police Captains, desk sergeants, and diabetics.
That checks out
@@cobracommander8133 and people with AAAAAIIIIIDS
Tartarus: "We're preparing you for judgment." I don't know. Constant torture seems like a clear judgment to me.
"Starring" in that "movie" means you've been judged well in advance.
Me: Do you have “Goodfellas?”
Blockbuster: Best I can do is “Born Into Mafia.”
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to move to America to live a normal life despite being groomed to become a gangster
@@frankmerker630 but i don't trust my brother to take over the family business, i only trust you. I groomed you for this.
@@frankmerker630 No, I don’t know. What, I groom you? I make you into mafia? Groom you how? How the fuck am I supposed to groom you?
@@flynnjaman I'm gonna go do some groomin', do some groomin'.
And there was nothing that we could do about it - Ivan's dad was a made man, and the internet friends wasn't.
1:21:38 Man, that gag Jay describes is Top Secret! level humor and now I'm sad comedies aren't going for those types of jokes anymore
I'm surprised Mike didn't bring up the star Trek TNG episode "Frame of Mind" during the Tartarus discussion, as that's essentially what Jack's "Good version" of it was.
The best Riker episode
He either exercised commendable restraint, or is finally succumbing to dementia.
"I groomed you for this!" Ivan's father says, repeatedly. Well, not very well, apparently! If he'd actually been grooming Ivan to take over the family business, he would have had him blow a guy's brains out at age 12 or something, to get him desensitized to violence and killing. Sounds like the old man didn't lay the proper groundwork, so he's got no one to blame but himself that his son doesn't want to be a gangster.
He was referring to his hygiene, hair cut, and clothing. You can't be a slob in the Russian mob - no one respect you without brand name on clothes, mishko.
@@Corbomite_Meatballs fucking lol
I love how this episode had a second unit.
"There's no one else here. It's just us."
seconds later: *Rich cackling*
minutes later: *Jay laughing*
That's just electronic voice phenomena.
I showed a couple of friends of mine "The Last Vampire on Earth". They hate me now. I was considering showing them "Born into Mafia" next.
You clearly are in need of friends with better taste in movies
Do it!
Utoya Island is the worst Versace film. It's so tasteless. You don't make an action thriller out of a terrorist attack that targeted children. But Vitaly did it.
@@jeffredfern3744 ffs I had to google to see if this is not a joke. Now I want a Spotlight episode about it.
I never knew this guy has so much credits to his name on imdb. I thought he was another Tommy Wiseau type of guy with one, maybe two movies made. Best discovery of this evening.
You are on the fast track to being disowned by your friends.
"Damn, nothing to watch..."
*Sees 1h 40min BotW video*
"Praise Rich Evans, for he hath answered my prayers!"
I recently watched Marvel's Shang Chi in theatres. I was bored out of my mind, but was happily surprised to realize the plot of Shang Chi is basically BORN INTO MAFIA!
Fun fact: Vitaliy Versace recently directed a film called Homie Alone (Renamed Beverly Hills Bandits) which is Home Alone but Ron Jeremy is one of the main actors. Mr. Maculkin needs to come to Milwaukee ASAP for a viewing
Iiiii don't think a review featuring noted absuer Ron Jeremy is a good idea given that it's gonna be nonstop cracking wise about what a scumbag he is aaaaand Maculkins history with that...yeeeeh
Running after someone chanting "heart attack, heart attack" reminds me of the Eric Andre bit about chasing someone yelling "nightmare, nightmare..."
The best part about bald guys acting is the “nervous rock” where he’s like moving back and forth the whole time he’s talking.
Like the shy kid giving a presentation.
Or giving a presentation, but REALLY needs to take a shit.
The Colin from Canada narrating at the end may be the funniest script RLM has ever written.
Wow, I always thought crack was just heated cocaine but Mike got me questioning it and a quick Google reveals that it’s just a little more complicated than that. Kudos RLM, so educational
Shout out to RLM for introducing us to new hobbies
As a Bolivian a can guarantee we got the best rocks.
Hope you never have any outdoor fires there, because you'll never come down from that high.
@@Bug582 he be talking about crack rocks
Just the best geodes.
I love that the head of the Russian mafia wrote that warning note to his son in English before attaching it to his dead friend. Russian would've been far too hard for the audience to read.
Hell, you could've written it in Klingon and no one in the target audience for that film would've realized it wasn't Cyrillic script.
*Star Trek reference!*
“I am so on board with this!”
“Jack, you’re full of shit”
That synchronous head bopping at the end of twin dragons XD
I have been waiting AGES for them to cover BORN INTO MAFIA, plus more McNamara Twin incest?!? Hell yeah!
It’s the narcissistic feedback loop. I’m still wondering if it’s considered masturbation when it’s with your twin. One of lifes great questions
@@freyav.5500 I know what that word means, I've seen Ouran High School Host Club!
Being from the Toronto area, I've gotta respect Colin's hustle to get that syrup. Saskatoon is a dangerous and wild land spoken of in legends.
You say that, but being in possession of something so dangerous can only be considered irresponsible.
@@ericv00 Not if you use it for something equally irresponsible like bringing Twin Dragon Encounters back from the grave. Then it cancels out. Like math or something.
Saskatoon is not where you go for maple syrup. It's where you go for Saskatoon berries. For pies and jams and such.
Yeah but the money is not called "Canada dollars." Everyone knows it's called Canadian Tire Cash
Real talk, if you find yourself in Saskatoon, go to The Rook and Raven, order the pork belly with Saskatoon Berry sauce. It is the best and only example of Saskatoon berries not tasting like disappointment.
Also, Saskatoon is the opposite of dangerous. It's where bunny hugs are.
Tell me you guys notice that when Jack is freaked out about what he sees in a movie and puts his hands on the side of his face with his mouth open he looks just like the ghost face emoji? 😱
I appreciated you including a little photo of Jack at the end of your post. He looks a bit more yellow than usual, for some reason. 🤔
It’s my favorite thing about the Suburban Sasquatch review because it’s his viewing room expression nearly the whole time
He looks like The Scream painting, lmao
Meanwhile jay is absolutely loving this!😼
Holy shit.
1.) apparently, Vitaliy Versace made a film about the Anders Brevik massacre, and
2.) THE LAST VAMPIRE ON EARTH PLAYS ANDERS BREVIK
Mike with that deep Simpsons’ pull - “let the fools have their Tartarus”
*knowing smirk, tent fingers* Excellent.
Lisa needs braces.... DENTAL PLAN!!
Damn! I couldn’t remember where that was from. Good catch
"Let the fools have their Tartarus" sounds like something Mr Burns would actually say. Like if he was trying to be worldly and intellectual while giving people something he thinks would ultimately make them miserable.
Collin should help Cryo-frozen Mr.Burns with the cure for 17 stab wound to the back.
The aliens have extremely innovative torture methods- such as leg punching.
Well it was enough to get Rick James off of Charlie Murphy's couch.
Could get a Hell of a Charlie horse
The concept of Tartarus vaguely makes me think of Jacob's Ladder. The movie in Jack's mind would probably look something like that.
"So thick, dark, and exotic that Justin Trudeau used it himself as blackface makeup." Fucking legendary.
I’ve actually seen “Born Into Mafia”. It’s available on TH-cam. Y’all are in for a treat.
It's really rare (for me anyway) to see a BotW movie before they do and it's a totally different viewing experience.
I think it's gone now.
@@BTSlipperypete same. They faked me out with Dracula 3000 in the April fool's episode, and they left out some of my favorite bits of Cybernator. I think it's funnier and there's more to it than they made it seem. Maybe I'm biased? It's weird.
@@joshhakey7705 Well it seems they saved some laughs for us for if we decide to watch it for our selves so thats pretty cool.
I mean trying to pretend Jacksonville is LA and Russia is impressive
Rich looks good. Healthy. I’m happy for him. Like seriously. This isn’t a sarcastic joke.
P.S. Rich Evans, can you be The Godfather to my children?
Just ask him to be your daddy. It's what you want. It's what we all want.
Have you read his Wackipedia entry?
@@carlblix7794 , Rich the Birthday Daddy
I've always said Sexy Jay was just the John the Baptist we needed to prepare us for Sexy Rich.
"They have a reputation to fight to their last breath."
So they have a reputation for dying?
I bought up a handful of Wascavage's films and the commentary track for Tartarus is hilarious.There were only three guys who'd handled basically every aspect of the production (including acting) and they're laughing the entire time, cracking jokes. I'm with Jack on "what could've been" regarding the presentation and plot, though the low budget stuff in the film I have no problem ignoring. It's no one willing to challenge Wascavage on his stilted dialogue that's probably the most glaring issue with his productions, as I think his ideas and ambience aren't that bad. Malevolent Ascent, a film of his that's basically Devil before Devil, has a pretty compelling atmosphere and a Hitchcock style plot, but falls flat for similar reasons as Tartarus.
I'm probably going to Tartarus for laughing at the part where the guys groan as John is taking off his belt but are relieved when he is just going to use the belt to beat the other guy instead of what they originally thought.
Just imagine David Wascavage directing any movie which actually has to touch upon child sex abuse. That might be even worse than when Uwe Boll directed the comedic 9/11 bit in Postal.
Hopefully...
Jack's sudden wide-eyed "Oh no" to Mike's "David Wascavage" was hilarious in it's earnestness.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate Jack's facial responses throughout the screening off all these films and those that have come before them. His expressions always depict how immersed he is in these films, despite how bad they can be.
Isn’t “The People’s Private Army” a bit of an oxymoron?