วีดีโอ

I don't really see it that way for me, but it might be how we see allegiance, for me that word means there is a hierarchy, and in a lot of my friends groups these days we actually are quiet harmonious, and it's not a hierarchy but a group were we support, hear and truly see each other.

You mention it being for the sake of all if you did, and the oh well comment sounds kind of like you don't have a choice in this, but in everything you have a choice. Maybe right now other things are taking priority, and that is what is important right now, so there's no right or wrong, just saying that you do have a choice and you can choose do it for you again.

Couple of thoughts are coming up for me, when you need reassurance or emotional comfort, do you need it from others, like you can't feel comfortable in yourself until you get it from them? Or can you look at what you need, like the comfort, and find it in yourself? I wouldn't say it's selfish, in a way selfish is saying you are not worth taking care of your needs. But to what level are you needing those needs met from others, if you can't get it from within yourself, then it will possibly feel like a neediness.

@@youfindingyou I’m trying not to need it from others but it would seem like my mind or heart tells me it’s the only way to know I’m emotionally safe and secure.

ah ya, I get it. I've scrapped some videos because the cicadas have been so noisy in the background, and drown out my voice. And I was like, ya there's no way I'd finish listening to the video because they are so loud. But thank you for mentioning it. I've been loving getting out in nature, I'll see what I can do, maybe find locations where they are not so noisy... ;)... or maybe there's times of day when they are quieter too.

ya, I hear ya. I got to a point too that I couldn't keep upping the goals, like if I keep going my body can't keep up this life, and when will I every be happy and good enough? I started to follow those things that I loved and enjoyed doing, and eventually realized that I was looking to others to tell me what my loves where, and no one could tell me that but me.

Of course, I'm so glad to hear it got to someone that needed it too. Man, it hurts so much, doesn't it? I think for me, I finally got tired of feeling the hurt in me and was like, how can I let go of the bitter feeling, and the resentment. ❤🧡💛

oh ya, I can relate to freezing as well. I imagine the body is wanting to keep us safe. and thank you 🙏 ya, I've been learning in myself too, that beauty is deeper than surface appearance ❤🧡💛 (so thank you for your words)

oh ya, I can definitely see that. Like this isn't right at all. ❤🧡

a'ole pilikia. 🧡💛💚

oh yes, I love that, those times when the synchronicity is just right for what is needed for the insight/intuition. Like with hearing lyrics of a song suddenly too.

You're welcome, ya to often I've let those conditioning/expectations make my decisions, and I don't want that to be my way of living but rather listening to what is right in me.

ya, I'm the same, I think I'm becoming more aware these days of those that are closed off, and now feel a sympathy for them, as they're missing a side that to me I'm fully embracing in myself and loving in myself.

@@youfindingyou ♥️

I hear ya. I have many things come up when I have to go someplace new or different, and it's usually around my fear of messing up and looking stupid or wrong. I've started to see that its only my own thoughts that are making me "wrong", and while yes others might turn up their nose at me, like you're wrong, or make a comment, the true owns that are genuine in my life would be kind and respectful to me about it, and those are the ones I want in my life. ❤🧡💛

thank you, and I hear ya. For me too, turning inward really has been a life changer on every level for me. ❤🧡💙

sending lots of high vibes and good energy your way 🧡

@@youfindingyou Thanks for your presence.

I hope my words also give some sense of you're not in this alone. As for books, I'm not sure, I've followed many of my own curiosities, like somatics (mind-body connection), energy healing, but recently a huge help has been with forest bathing (mindfulness in nature), I was surprised how supportive nature is.

I hear ya, it's rough being in that situation. I recently was around some negative people and ended up getting sick after, it's like how can I maintain my vibe and joy, while in that. I think for me, I'm definitely from time to time gonna need to be very conscious of what I can do, which is set up boundaries for myself, and clear energies after. Sending high vibes your way, and grounding support

Ya I think often I would have looked at it as an attack too, but now I see that they are in low vibes and crave, or desperately need to feel better, and they don't know how to get that, so if you've got it, they'll take it. I'm looking deeper in myself too to seeing how I can set up boundaries to not just allow it being taken from me, that's of course, easier said than do though.

I love that, you are welcome, and thank you.

ooof, that's tough when you're in a place where extroverts are encouraged and thrive. For some reason this is making me think of how, I think I always felt underestimated as well because I didn't speak up like others around me, but instead it was kind of a quiet power I had, like I knew way more than what others thought.

@@youfindingyou sure. I keep thinking about Narcissists and evil in this world. How they might be only a contingency or a way of survival but they make you leave your comfort zone...they make you see how your good deeds are against you so this might trap you in a victim mentality for a while. In a sense I keep doubting if I should be stronger than this or just leave this tricky world to live on my own... Thanks for your response tho. I feel acknowledged. Wish you the best

@@shallowwatersoriginal I hear ya. I've become quite independent for a while, and it helped me find myself, but I also started to find a community that saw me for me. Sending lots of high vibes and support your way.

Yes, I hear ya. I look back at that time and know that I will never go back into something like that. But more because I stepped into my self worth and love, like you. And wow, a much better place to be living in now, isn't it ;)

You're welcome, I love seeing this is helpful for others. 💛💚❤