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I agree wholeheartedly to this!!

It is a risk for sure. Would I have done it as a teenager? No. And for your reason, too! :) Yet, I think that's why I'm so passionate about helping others have a good experience. I think it matters a whole lot about the intentions of the student coming and the intentions of the receiving host family. It's a life changing experience for both! And since people are still doing it, let's do it as best as we can. And... travel as an adult!! Thanks for the comment Ursula!

TH-cam isn't showing me which video you commented on, so I can't say much in reply to yours, but... Thank you for the comment! :)

I try to nail as much as I'm able to. Thanks for the comment!

Learning about how other cultures do things is part of the learning curve. Not all practices are annoying, but I feel a heads up is helpful in order to be able to adapt. Otherwise they take us by surprise! My parents hosted in the late 80's/early 90's from Japan as well. I was too young to remember much, other than how fun it was to learn about another culture and have another "sibling!" Thanks for commenting!

Thanks for commenting! Not all hosting is paid, yet having people who have gone through a checked process does help ease the mind for sure!

Hey, thanks!! I'm happy that you have found value in the content. And I'm happy to be back posting again :)

Thanks for the comment. Do you mean that the High School or the Exchange Program only allows for Senior students to come? This is interesting to note.

We are hosting one from N. now; I regret we signed up for it. She snuck out at 1 am with my 14 y/o, was asking her where to get cigarettes, expecting us to pay for her stuff,,, no more. The best part is her mother has not sent me a single message since she arrived.

@@irynafox3593 I'm sorry to hear that but like I said. It is hit or miss. I'm still going to try to host again but in rural Arkansas. Bad thing it's rural Arkansas, good thing is mudding, horseback riding, hunting (if they're allowed), small town events.

@@Razorpig378 . thank you. Will see how it goes but it has been two very stressful weeks for me.

@@irynafox3593 you should have access to whoever the regional contact is. For any reason your student does anything against your rules and especially against the law you can have them dismissed from the exchange program.

Sorry to hear that :(

Hello! I wish I would have seen this sooner, except I haven't experienced this or come across a similar situation when reading others experiences, so I cannot give definitive advice. Your situation is probably over, feel free to comment how it went and your thoughts about how you chose to handle it. As for how my family would approach it - it's not something that we would allow. Hosting can be complicated enough. And building and maintaining trust within all members of the household is paramount to making the arrangement work... for that reason we would respectfully have the student relocated to another home. That way if the relationship were to continue it would be approached like any other dating/boyfriend/girlfriend relationship based on typical family guidelines. I hope your situation worked out well. Thank you for the comment!

Hi, thanks for the comment! You bring up an interesting thought. Not having worked in agencies who vet teenagers who want to come as international students or on a cultural exchange, I can't say whether or not it's the case. From my experience (childhood 4 times, and adulthood 10 times in 7 years - and in hearing our student's friend's experiences in real time) disrespectful attitudes can come from several places: First being, primary family basic attitudes. Second, age and maturity level of student plus their intentions of traveling to another country. Third, the host family's negative lens which rubs off on the student (which can be magnified by lack of clear, friendly expectations and regular communication, etc...). Major disrespect hasn't been something we've had to deal with yet. We inevitably will because we're all just people :) We've hosted students from different "income classes" and it hasn't been a thing. Those are my 2 cents. Thanks for commenting!

You would need to contact the direct coordinator involved with the student. If needed, sometimes the agency needs to be involved. Hopefully the police don't need to be called - that has happened in some situations. Thanks for asking, I hope it turns out well.

Haha! This is legit great! I hadn't even considered what an Aunt or Uncle being involved would look like. Thank you for being an awesome addition to the whole experience!! :)

I appreciate the time you took to comment here. The feedback means a lot!

Thank you! Your comment means a lot to me :)

Thank you, your comment is very encouraging! :) I will be doing more content for the channel in 2024. Happy holidays!

That sounds like a difficult situation. Being 4 months since you left this comment you might have already solved the issue. Yes, I feel that if it's important to you, then it's important to share with your coordinator. At the least they will be made aware and if thing keep as they are, steps can be taken. I hope it turns out well!

Thank you for sharing your voice here!! I appreciate it.

Wow. What an experience you've had!! We appreciate you sharing here, both the good and bad. Thank you, David!

Thank you, David, for sharing your experience and great parenting rules tips. Love it. ❤

I would have not tolerated this attitude for a min. He's not your child to drive him around and making a big scene confronting the other kid. Just wrong for an adult to get involved in a drama like that.

Wow, i was thinking for applying in exchange program. Then i found this video and your comment. Although, i don't think i will apply for exchange program but still there was lot to understand about host family from someone experienced like you. I liked that you didn't let that Australian student to do something bad with friends. You are a nice guy. Love from Bangladesh 🇧🇩 💚

A dice roll sounds pretty accurate. Glad the hard one wasn't there for long! Can I ask, where are you located?

Great question! Try this one out! th-cam.com/video/ozxk5a_FDxs/w-d-xo.html

I am happy you are choosing to go on exchange!! I hope they match you with a family that cares about you and you have an extraordinary experience! Best of luck to you and thanks for watching :)

Hello! Yes, you are right. If anyone wants to go on an exchange or be an international student, check in with organizations in your area that provide that service. hfesLIFE (as of 2023) is simply a TH-cam channel, not an agency. I hope it works out for Gina to go to the US like she wishes! Thanks for watching :)

@@Abcd-jz4gp American going to Germany

I would be feeling your SAME feelings! I wish him Godspeed as well. May his time there be beneficial for his life. Keep in good contact with him!

@@Abcd-jz4gp We didn't do it. I cancelled everything. He participated in a semester program in the Alaskan bush instead.

Thanks for watching and the comment. Your "rules" are sound and I agree! :)

Oh, wow. I've never heard of that but that sounds scary! I hope in time they show up and they were not involved in something tragic! Thank you for watching and the comment.

Just in case you didn't see the first reply, here it is again. :) Thank you for reaching out. I can see you are in a tough spot. The best advice I can offer is to search - a lot- on agencies who offer the type of program you are looking for. For example, private program, rotary club or traditional program, based on where you'd like to end up in the States. Check out my video titled "What Do You Call Them?" th-cam.com/video/K1-_IFMt-aw/w-d-xo.html to learn more about programs offered. Since there's probably a lot of paperwork to complete between you and your parents, calling these potential agencies might help you navigate around faster, before the fall semester. Or, maybe there's a friend you've met locally who would have you in their home with their family, then you can search agencies near where you are. It doesn't hurt to ask around and the worst they can say is no. Since I do not represent agencies, this is the best advice I can give. I hope this helps and I hope you will get to have the education choice you wish! Good luck!

Hello, thank you for reaching out. I can see you are in a tough spot. The best advice I can offer is to search - a lot- on agencies who offer the type of program you are looking for. For example, private program, rotary club or traditional program, based on where you'd like to end up in the States. Check out my video titled "What Do You Call Them?" th-cam.com/video/K1-_IFMt-aw/w-d-xo.html to learn more about programs offered. Since there's probably a lot of paperwork to complete between you and your parents, calling these potential agencies might help you navigate around faster before the fall semester. Or, maybe there's a friend you've met locally who would have you in their home with their family, then you can search agencies near where you are. It doesn't hurt to ask around and the worst they can say is no. Since I do not represent agencies, this is the best advice I can give. I hope this helps and I hope you will get to have the education choice you wish! Good luck!

Very wise words! Thank you for watching and commenting! :)

Hi! Thanks for watching and commenting here. I would have to agree that I also prefer to speak with the parent(s) before and during the time they are with us. I don't think it's a problem to be in touch with the student's family. I'm guessing it's not expected or encouraged by the agencies, but I've never asked (let me text my coordinator). I particularly like it when a parent shares a specific worry, they or their child has, to help to ease nerves or address things head on. It's a possibility it doesn't happen more often based on the language barrier! For the phone, each of our students has come with their home country's SIM card to message during travel and make sure to tell their family they arrived safely, then bought a new one soon after arriving. Ok, my coordinator responded... She said she thinks it's great when the parent(s) reach out to the hosts but that it's hard to do. Also, she doesn't think the paperwork encourages it. Having the student's family help sounds great to me! In which specific areas do you think would be most helpful?

Thanks for watching and sharing your experiences! It seems as if you created an extraordinary family culture you all appreciated. Isn't it so nice when the relationship continues! I also hope you are able to help your daughter find a loving host family, too. Having never worked with ICES I cannot say if problems are solved well between host families and students. Often, it comes down to the local people who are running it. Because even if an agency shares on their website how good they are (which all of them state their vision and intentions) but do the locals running it believe, support and fulfill the mission? It's hard to say. And if past years were bad, did they fire those people and get new ones who are great? I really wish there was a better way to judge each program in real time! The matching student to host thing has been curious to me as well. When we began hosting we did get to choose the year-long student. I read through all of the profiles and tried my best to find a match and crossed my fingers they weren't spoken for when the day opened to put in the request. The way it's done has changed for us. Our coordinator lets us know if there are students who needs to be placed and she really tries to match us up - so far so good. At the same time, if students want/need to be moved she will call, desperate for somewhere to place them, again - so far so good. I don't think we'll always bat 100 with intended matches... I'd like to think all coordinators care, but some don't and some are desperate for ANY home. My guess would be to see if you can talk with the coordinator who your child will be working with and get a feel for how responsive they are to listening to your concerns. And ask for recommendations on families that are eligible. I know one of our students parents looked me up online and got to know our family before she even came :) He emailed me beforehand too, which I like, in order to build a common concern for the needs of his daughter. That might be a good route to try as well. Again, thanks for commenting. I hope it turns out great with your daughter! :)

Thre're programs that pay around $300 per month

Hi! Thanks for watching and your question. To answer, it all depends on the agency. If you'd like to host to provide a genuine experience and being compensated for room, board and transportation is the last hurdle to doing that, contact agencies near you, or, look them up online to see if a stipend is what they provide. A Private School program might be one that will fit your needs. I hope you get to host and good luck on your journey!

our program doesn't pay us anything

Thank you for watching and commenting. Our hearts can be in the right place and things aren't able to work out like we wish. It's good to be reminded there are kind people like you! :)

Oh, man! Lol. I won't ever watch that!! 😮😅

I'm sorry it doesn't seem like it's working out for you. Have you been able to share with your coordinator issues you've been experiencing?

Sorry she was ungrateful :( It's understandable why some try it once and never again.

Yes, I've heard of this type of thing happening. It great to hear you treasure her, and otherwise, things are going well! There are a few things I'd do in your situation. Take them as suggestions and use what you'd like to. First, I would let the agency/coordinator know and see if they can communication expectations with them and find out what they plan to say so you're on the same page. Did you happen to go over expectations when she came to you, where you cover a variety of topics? Not all agencies guide hosts on how to do this. Or if you have, this would be a follow up. In our home, I provide meals I have already planned, bought and am preparing. If they want something special, I am willing to take them to the store at a different time to buy what they want with their own money. I can prepare it, or I can teach them to prepare it if it's more than what I'd typically do to prepare a meal. I do not have the time or desire to be a restaurant where my OWN kids asks of me what they wish to eat every meal (or a student). My whole day would be in the kitchen and these cuties leave no tip (willing dishwashers would be nice, LOL). Also, it's known that "extra" things (special outings-movies, mall purchases-, going out to eat, etc.) are paid for by them. So if we ever go out, I mention to them they'll be paying for their own. They do not have to go with us out to eat, they can stay home and eat what food is available. It's never in a negative way, more like, "this is how we do things." I believe it is unreasonable on the student's part to expect you to go above and beyond what you do for your own family, whether the intention is accidental or not. As you can begin to feel, it's just not sustainable to your time, your resources, or how it was meant to run. With that being said, I ask my students what fruits or vegetables they like, their favorite treat and snacks. I like to have some of those things on hand for them so they know I care. On special occasions I ask them what I can prepare for them (birthday, holiday's from their culture, last day of school type of things). Some hosts don't even do that! For them, what you see in the cupboards and fridge is what you get and honestly, that's all that's required of you. One year, our students had a thing for corn dogs. That's not something our family eats, but I always kept a package in the freezer and they ate them whenever. Some dinners they would eat a lot of my offered meal, and some dinners they had a little and ate corndogs later. I try to find a middle ground that's sustainable. I understand the food we serve is not what they've been used to growing up :) Approach the subject as, 'information that you realize is supposed to work this way' and that things need to be done differently moving forward. They're might be some initial shock, that's understandable. Hopefully, she is mature enough to accept the change easily. Thanks for watching and for the question. Good luck to you! :)

@@hfesLIFE Thank you for the thoughtful response. This is so helpful. Actually we ended up having the discussion and it went so smoothly. She actually brought up by asking if anything that could be better and what maturity! I said her food preferences are a challenge at a time when food prices are pretty high. Special meal prep is starting to be stressful on me and I’m dealing with increased zoom meetings that compound things. I said I need to be able to make the meals I make and everyone eats them. She agreed that she needs to try some different food and just because she wants something doesn’t mean I should be changing things. She’s hearing other exchange friends are having challenges with host families so she just wants to fix anything proactively. What a wonderful thing and I think we are on a better path of open food discussion and new options. She liked my unstuffed pepper instapot!!! Some good progress. Thank you again!

Thank you for watching! I hope whomever you are placed with chooses to be mature and responsible and it's an extraordinary experience for you all! :)

Hey it's been a month how it went

same, in less than a week i'm gonna go apply and give it a go.

Thanks for watching and sharing!

Hello! You are welcome to find me on Instagram and we can chat there :)

How exciting to have a student! Congratulations! From experience, major cell phone company's are not eager to add a temporary line. I would advise against it because it puts you in a position to be responsible for their bill and that can go sour easily. Let your student know that they can purchase a new sim card with a pay-by-month carrier to use with their existing phone, their own funds paying with debit or credit. Another option would be the same scenario, except they give you the cash up front for the months they will be living with you and you put it on your card for auto bill pay. But get everything documented. This option may still come back to bite you if your student doesn't like you... therefore, is still somewhat risky. Most likely your agency would advise against any of these to protect you both. The way that protects you and them, is for them to be independent of relying on you. They will probably need to have phone calls with their parent(s) to figure out how to proceed. They can live without data (if needed, while they get it figured out) and instead link to your WIFI in order to get things into place for them, or, use your phone to call the school. We had one student sign up with Consumer Cellular and it was a pay by month plan, which was an easy start and an easy stop. Most of the school year passed and she realized that connecting to our and the school's WIFI, and using WhatsApp was all she needed (she didn't go out with friends often and liked being at home-so it was a reasonable move). She ended up cancelling her phone plan and used WIFI. If your student will want to go out a lot, the WIFI route doesn't work because they or you can't get a hold of them in an emergency while they're out. As for locking their room: I don't think there anything inherently wrong with that, it can provide a sense or security for them. What I would do up front is, let them know 2 things. The first is there will be an inspection of the room to make sure it is properly taken care of because trash/food/odd smells/etc can attract insects and rodents. And this can be scheduled monthly/every other week. And secondly, you reserve the right to go into the room and check things out (define what that is- does it include looking in drawers...?) with a 24 hour notice to them. This seems to me a a respectful way to handle the unknown for both of you. If these conversations feel awkward, you just have to lean into it. It has always proved MORE awkward having to talk through to try fix something, and make up new rules, that could have been prevented by a simple conversation :) Thanks for your questions! I hope you have an extraordinary time together!!

@@hfesLIFE This is so helpful! I’ve taken the route of letting her communicate the options I’ve found with Mint Mobile and just keep it separate. They are offering a SIM card for 12 months $253 total but only 4G.

@@hfesLIFE As for locking I think it protects us so if she can’t find something it’s not possible to blame us for taking it. I’ve actually seen a story of how a host family did go into their student’s room and take stuff.

Thanks for watching! That's interesting to know about exchange rates in Canada. Sounds like the stipend (from whichever agency you're looking at) wouldn't go far. A stipend is better than nothing if you need additional funds to host, but may not come close to covering actual costs. Thanks for the comment!

Hi, thanks for watching and asking your question :) From what I can remember, the students typically end up getting a new sim card. It helps save on international rates. Even students who don't get a plan will connect to WIFI's wherever they are in order to communicate with us. And since we used common Apps, it was easy to. Does this answer your question?

Yes! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here for others to read :)

That is really nice of you, thank you! :)

Hello Anthony, thank you for commenting. I know different agencies can sometimes work with certain countries over others. Unfortunately, I do not know which ones because I provide the hosting aspect. You are welcome to do a google search and talk with some agencies to see if they work with Italian students, or if they are aware of agencies that do? Agencies welcome individuals over 18, or couples, or families to host. You do not need to have children! I hope you will look into it and give it a try sometime. Good luck! :)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I feel very strongly that religion should not be forced on anyone! I am sorry to hear your host family was not respectful of your education and how you wished to dress in the heat. Though it is typical to have various rules in different homes, such a curfew hours, open kitchen vs eating hours, etc., some house rules are reasonable and some, unfortunately are not. Our family does have a couple guidelines on dress when in the common areas of the house (typically pajama attire), our students are respectful about it. They wear what they wish at any other time! Hopefully, other host families will read your comment and think through any rule before trying to enforce it. Thank you again for sharing here!

@@hfesLIFE exactly, I was very respectful for the dress code especially when I was at home or in school. I wasn't really prepared for the Texas heat so I just wanted to wear shorts and a t-shirt but nothing too revealing, something that my American friends wore as well. The hard part was trying to explain that I wanted to change family because of these issues, to the agency whose operators had the same mindset of the family I was hosted by. They thought their behavior wasn't an issue, but after insisting a lot and thanks to my professor we managed to change family 💪🏻

That’s horrible!! I will say most of the companies I have found give their profiles a religious status to see if you have similar beliefs. That helps sooo much. I hope you come back and visit again ❤ plus the south doesn’t represent all of US

@@livinglife2436 I know, I know, In fact when I changed family it was totally different! I know I was just not lucky with the first family i was in. The US is big but I ended in a very religious area, which I don't complain about, I just complain about the fact that some impose their religion and that is not ok. But I met so many amazing people there, so I really can't complain about the US! I just wanted to share my opinion and experience on the matter, since I've been in a not-so-great host family 🧡

Aww! I appreciate your sincere comment. It means a lot to me to know I've helped someone :)

That's a long time to have someone! It's hard to say goodbye to ones you've cared for that have been thankful to spend time with you. Thanks for the comment. Will you be hosting again?

Sorry you had a bad experience and glad you were able to report them! It's great that you can be foster parents, the kids are lucky to have caring adults in their lives. 💛

Hello! Thank you for your comment. There would be several factors in deciding how much spending money you need, such as: - will you be purchasing food other than what's provided by your host family? - do you like to buy new clothes/shoes/electronics/etc frequently? - do you like to go out a lot, paying for extra transportation and events? - are you good at budgeting, or do you impulse buy without thinking? - will you be living in a city with a higher cost, in general? - do you have to pay for a cell phone plan? - and others :) My thoughts are this. I think $125 per month would cover BASIC needs if one knew how to budget. We had a student who was given a $300 stipend. She was careful to budget and made room for paying for a simple phone plan and bought extra things on occasion. It was a comfortable amount, above basic. Great thoughts, thanks for commenting and good luck on your adventure!

@@hfesLIFE thank you so much for replying