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So true, self love gets talked about like how people say you should just be happy when feeling depressed. “You just need to love yourself”. But having self compassion is super important to work on ❤

I’ll take this as an invitation to be waaaay more annoying about things that peeve me 😂

I can’t take you seriously using Gods name in vain and all the rest of the unnecessary swearing.

This is so relatable! Thank you!!!!❤

Great information! It felt ambiguous to me as well! Thank you!

Watching this just confirmed to me that my anxiety is 100% a self esteem issue lol

Watching this just confirmed to me that my anxiety is 100% a self esteem issue lol

Bro's eyebrows.↗↘ No hate but I just found it distracting😂

I wanna feel damn good about myself and no more guilt

The things I tend to feel guilty about are pretty legit, but it’s the avoidant response that’s been hard to overcome

Flashbacks, fears caused by association, sudden memories 😖

If you're so miserable, talk it out. Or get a divorce idk what you expect

Can you recommend a good therapist?

I didn't ever want to retire because I Loved my job!, and felt so secure. All my friends, and workplace activities I look forward to....... then, a extremely stressful event happened,.. and I thought I had to retire because I wasn't thinking correctly. ( Cognitive Distortion thinking). I couldn't believe what I done!,.. I just want to go back to my job!, and my lifestyle!!... I went into shock!, and into depression with anxiety and insomnia. EVERYDAY, all I think about is going back, and all the coulda shouda wouldas!!... my health has gotten worse, I am unable to move on. I lost interest in all my hobbies and activities. I also don't keep in touch with family or friends. I ruminate all day over my mistake and how it shouldn't be this way. I didn't need to retire,... and it's all my fault.! I have self hate, lost desire to live, and don't appreciate life. This traumatic life altering event, took the life out of me..... and I cannot let go.

For me I can manage fairly well but if i fell ignored or taken advantage of i can spiral pretty quickly. Large groups ate typically when it happens, I'm frequently overlooked or just used as a bag minder.

great video. Forgiveness, wash, rinse repeat ❤ Trauma is a life-long burden. Never goes away.....resurfaces and have to keep forgiving and forgetting...myself and others. I've had a lot of trauma and feel as though I'll never fully function properly. I've had therapy but at 60, I don't think I'm ever going to get much better than I am....... Just live the best I can each day.

What clinical psychology calls social anxiety disorder. I give it another name in how I understand it from psychology learned performance helplessness.

Get bitter or get better its A CHOICE to be sad or happy, no one owes you anything in this world

i think i get your standpoint . ive had social anxiety all my life , & i would most definately say that while i wasnt always aware of it , it is rooted ( ? ) * in low self esteem & toxic shame . the feeling is associated with the subconscious idea that if i express ( or show 🫣 ) myself in any way people arent going to accept me , approve of me , scrutinize me , &/or worse .. why ? because i felt on a subconscious level that i was not a worthy ( or acceptable , likeable , etc . ) human being .. why ? ( & i think this is what youre getting at ) .. b|c of previous life circumstances which instilled this experience within me * . so i guess that would be the REAL root cause , & therefore , what we should really be looking at when it comes to healing .. either way , i do think the low self esteem still remains a connected factor .. but this video definately gives a different & possibly better way of looking at it 🤔

I like myself when I am alone, but not around other people. They are so much better than me. I don't understand why I make bad experiences over and over again. It doesnt matter what I do and how I feel. It feels like I trigger people (especially women) to be mean and make me even smaller than I already am. Almost every contact to people worsens my social anxiety.

Thank you

I have learned that trauma keeps us at the age we experienced it.

It is getting harder and harder every day understanding how my childhood was stolen from me there’s no one to blame everyone is now dead😊

If you are dealing with a very defensive person, bounce. You are in for serious frustration and you will never reach them

That is very true.

Thank you!

Not a fan of this video. I understand that the video is on understanding *why* but without any resources as to what to do about it from a therapist, it is lame. Remarkably, I feel worse than before I saw this.

Is there any book that you recommend to help with social anxiety?

I was born with social anxiety I also feel like I have good confidence also

Great video. Thanks for sharing the information:) I would have to say that the age of the person who experienced trauma is relevant. As adults, our foundation has already been laid...in other words, our morals, values and beliefs about ourselves, our value, our self worth, sense of belonging & acceptance, our qualities & how we relate to others has been established. That in itself may affect how we respond to trauma as an adult. But as a child the traumatic experience will likely become part of the foundation which forms the fundamental beliefs of that individual . I believe this presents a unique challenge because that child may later learn that what they experienced isnt "the norm" and doesn't happen to everyone. But when you've experienced dysfunction or traumatic events as a child, changing your thoughts about it and "getting over it" is even more challenging if you've never experienced anything different.

36 years and still can't get over it. It was life changing mistake and it destoyed my life, but I keep trying.

But in the end, it still goes back to self-esteem being in danger, so you fear situations where you might get criticized and not manage to stand for yourself. Nobody likes that but you’d rather sacrifice all the good social experiences and avoid all social situations because your self esteem is so fragile and can’t survive one unpleasant interaction. My anxiety is definitely related to my self-esteem/confidence. External criticism brings me down and validation doesn’t even make me any proud, just “oh, good, I’m not so bad, thank you, but it could have been done better”. It’s exhausting…

My girlfriend tells me to bring up things that upset me in our relationship and every time she gets defensive and it causes an argument causes me to want to shut down again

Some of the s*** don't be realistic man.. feel anxious of a situation very very hard to stop and think all these things are you suggest. It sounds nice when you put it on a video but in real life it rarely works if at all.

Social anxiety does NOT always have to do with thinking negatively about yourself. Social anxiety can be about thinking about possibly receiving negative appraisal (askance) from other people or even having negative thoughts that not using all your social assets will lead to external negative appraisal from others. It is a learned behavior that at any time negative appraisal and thus a negative social outcome can occur. Anxiety starts to build and can spiral uncontrollably leading to more anxiety. The amygdala ( I have read ) is the part of the brain providing a fear response to real or perceived danger. Once the amygdala responds the response is difficult to reverse. The amygdala can also see danger that the fear response will lead to a negative outcome if noticed by others and responds by reacting with more anxiety.

It really hepls, thank you 😍

Can't stop looking at this guy's eyebrows

I respond defensively when my mother says I'm out of my mind I think that's normal and after I talk up son é C t she'll say It wasnt meant that way what other way does someome mean your out of your mind only that they are being abusive

Malicious bitch cheating on me in my birthday

My husband had an affair 5 years ago...To this day, if I even mention the thought of him still wanting to be with her he gets super defensive and flies off the handle...I'm taking the defensiveness as only proving that I'm right.... Instead of trying to comfort me and reassure me all he does is get defensive and angry and to me, that's only proving my point, proving that I'm right..

Does a trigger always mean you flight and leave a situation

Appreciate Video! Forgive me for the intrusion, I am interested in your opinion. Have you tried - Proutklarton Being Quiet Plan (do a google search)? It is an awesome exclusive product for getting rid of your anxiety disorder fast without the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my close friend Aubrey finally got cool success with it.

I really love that video,it totally changed my perspective and does make sense

He misses the mark here....social anxiety is when you ASSUME the people around you are more smarter, more influential, more sophisticated, more masculine, more feminine, more assertive, more power full that you are. Drop those thoughts in the trash. You can stand up to any one. YOu are strong, you are smart, you are just as good as the other guy. The other guy that you put on a pedestal is often mis guided, and as lost as everyone else....NEVER NEVER NEVER down grade yourself.

I have been through all the experiences you mentioned in this video during my childhood. I was never allowed to believe that they were incidents that needed a second thought. Instead I was taught that I should have guarded myself better or perhaps dressed more plain or invisible so that I could have avoided these instances. Infact, today, years from these experiences, my family don't even remember or acknowledge they happened. I don't speak to them anymore but that was a tough call to make. I think childhood trauma can be initiated by lack of care or concern for the child from the caregiver. Sometimes people should just not have kids if they are not going to look after them. Unlike a pet, you can't give a child away. The parent has unresolved issues themselves which they are trying to pass on to their child.

I went through some harsh workplace bullying last year, and both this, and your video about not being able to get over trauma, shed some much needed light on understanding my thoughts. Thank you.

Thank you so much for this video. I just had a "flight" response and was overwhelmed for responding in that way. Listening to your video brought relief so quickly. I highly recommend anyone experiencing a fight-flight "episode" listen to this video. Subscribed!

Today i had an application test for a music university. I was ok prepared. But when i stood in front of the university i could not go in. I could have cried. I felt like i am the most worthless piece on earth.

🌺🌺🌺

Great advice..