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No contact is not to get ex back but to move on 😂

Lets jelp

You know your girl not coaches...

Why would you want to get back into a situation like that? The push-pull and constant uncertainty is exhausting.

Just slept with my ex yesterday... (she's in a rebound but still wants to spend time with me)..she called me over yesterday and one thing leads to another..yet after everything while I was on my way home she texted me that I shouldn't come like that to here place anymore (what she usually says after sleeping together)..I asked her about patching up but she just ignored the topic..so gonna start ignoring,not helping her or communicating with her

Break up Brad. Please help me out man. I need help moving on from my divorce if there is to be any chance of getting her back. Please help me.

If I were to go no contact I’d block her every place possible otherwise I’d be playing a game hoping she contact me. I mean phone text social media messaging apps etc. If she really wanted me I’d like a handwritten letter sent by us mail.

I need some advice I was chatting to this girl who I know for about 4 months strait it started of slow but we was messaging non stop she was the one who messaged me 1st every day saying good morning x all the time and good night as well we met for the 1st time after I was on a deployment for 3 months she was well Keen to meet and we did she booked the date and it went really well but then a couple of days later she said she’s not ready for a relationship I said I understand she’s fresh out of a 2 year relationship I don’t know if she’s afraid of being hurt again or if she hasn’t gotten over her ex I’m currently doing no contact to see what happens

My ex never allowed me to come round for dinner or the day.

Hey Brad, I'm currently doing no contact with my ex for over 2 weeks but the only problem is we are in the same group at the faculty so we have labs and lectures together but i dont speak with her or stay near her. How should i act ?

I was ghosted ..its been 2 years .he recently followed me on tic Tok and liked one of my videos..we were close friends w benefits ( situationship). I am anxious he is avoidance ....I was with him for 18 years sexually...its so weird not talking to him...its silent .we use to text lots

Im hurting. My boyfriend is an avoidant. He ghosted me after i asked him for his time.

Hey Brad! Thanks for your videos, I'm in no contact with ex girlfriend, and next week it will be 30 days of no contact, I see her in school everyday and it's a little bit hard to not even look at her but I didn't talk to her and it is a complete no contact, she is an avoidant person. Is it ok to connect with her next week or should I wait more?

They always come back. My ex has come back (3rd time), love bombing, pursuing me hard & trying to get back together but he still has no clue what he wants. This man is 50!!. HARD PASS.

Bad Behaviour is bad behaviour!

My advuce after no contact for 1 months ask her for the final anwer n still if she said no then its time to move on bro..she will not come back

hey Brad, me and my ex have the same mutual friends and are in the same social circle except whenever I am there, he isn’t there and whenever he is there I choose not to be there as well. That’s about to change soon as we have a pretty large dressed up event coming up- what can I do? How should I act? It’s been about a month since the breakup.

What if the avoidant was your husband and he just left you in a day and stopped all communication with you?

Me and my girlfriend (same sex couples) broke up last week after she saw someone she claim to love two years ago. She broke up with me and wanted to pursue the girl in the future. She said she cannot see me in her future but she really cares for me. We've been living together for 4 years and she just throw that away. It hurts. Right now, we still live in the same roof but I am planning to live out as fast as I can. She said its better for us to stay together for awhile after the break up so that we can accept the situation and get used with it. What should I do? Please help me

I was in a relationship with an avoidant for a couple of years. When i had a conversation about where we were at i was dumped on the spot. Insert any excuse for the reason, she just wanted outta there. On the whole we got on quite well. However, we immediately went no contact and i havent heard a word in near 2 years. So i dont expect to hear from her ever again.

Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.

Great video. My relationship of five years ended a month ago when the love of my life decided to move on. I loved her deeply, and I can't stop thinking about her and the memories we created together. I've done everything I can to try to bring her back, but nothing has worked. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. I've tried to push the thoughts away, but they keep coming back. I’m not sure why I'm sharing this here, but I really miss her and wish I could have her back.

As much as you say it’s not playing a game, it’s not authentic. I can’t see it any other way than a game if my needs aren’t getting met. Find a better fit

Thank you soooo much for all the help you gave me. You helped save my life. Always here for you too x

Im going through the most please help me

If I move on and live my life then I wouldn’t be with that avoidant again 😅

I feel like these sorts of videos don’t ever address how anyone is supposed to feel enthusiastic about someone who puts them through such exhausting games, instead of being turned off by their childishness. They don’t address how it’s frustrating for people to repress their own positive feelings instead of experiencing the joy of being open and having another person simply be delighted by it, instead of their muted or negative reactions saddling their every positive urge with Pavlovian baggage. I guess the idea is anyone who isn’t interested in the games wouldn’t be watching, which is fair enough. And I’m not one of those people who think avoidants don’t deserve love or patience or a chance to fix their attachment. I just feel like I have never seen a video address how damaging it is to someone’s self-esteem to even play the games, how tiresome and unsexy it is to deal with someone who’s emotionally immature, how it robs someone of the beautiful moments of joyful romantic confession that other relationships get to have.

It’s not worth it. Unhealed Avoidants border on emotional abuse. They ghost and disappear when you need them the most. They’re not capable of healthy conflict resolution

Its not worth time be with avoidant becos seems like illution, breadcrumb all about their emotions hot n cold put n pull, up n down in the end you'll lost yourself, insecure unhappy

Sometimes it feels like being with a avoidant is all about there needs and in there tempo and on there terms. What about they try to heal themself and try to see what the other one also needs to be happy in a relationship. If you are a disorientated/ambivalent style and the otherone is avoidant, i think you need somehow to meet in the middle or it can feels to hard for the one with disorientated/ambivalent.

Just dont end in a push pull situation and that will happen if both of them dont work with there own attactment style.

The bird example was on point, but not intentionally. The bird wanted closeness, sure, but why? To get nourishment. Something for itself. And once it had its fill, it took off. Means to an end. My DA ex was always the ends to every means. Very selfish, even pathologically at times by objectifying, manipulating, and using. My advice, after a 4 year nightmare that progressively chipped away at my mental health, confidence and peace, is to leave and never return. Only people willing and able to self reflect can change. Only those able to take accountability for their actions and responsibility for themselves have any chance at growth or healing. In all those years, my ex never took accountability, responsibility, or showed an ounce of compassion or remorse for the hurt he caused. Toxic hope will feed you any lie to hold on. To just wait. No! Evaluate the reality of them and their limitations. Love them, miss them, but leave them. They aren’t able to show up in healthy, loving, close, real relationships. It’s not your fault, it’s just how they’re built. They’re doing nothing to change it, and sticking around only enables the toxic behaviors. If you love them, if you respect you, go.

It was one month relationship, he said he wanted to marry me but because of his in consistent behaviour I started questioning him does he like me only because for marriage i tick boxes or he really likes me. Then some arguments happened he broke up. After two days of break up I expressed how mych I like him that I love him, we can work on it My father also knows about us please we can talk. He was very admant that It will never work out. I was devasted that he did not even try and he said intially he genuinely liked but now he does not like me anymore. After that It will 4 months I did not contact him. He is my colleague so I maintained professional boundary but never contacted personally. Did I do too much of begging?

I asked her to another chance for 3 days and get rejected, after that I get in no contact period, After 7 days my profile is still picture of us and she wrote me why you didn't delete the profile what should I answer?

Been there, done that. When you respect their space, they go and find someone else because they assume you have abandoned them, and they should find someone before you do.

This is not working on female avoidants. They just move on and find another man very soon.

Mine replaced me 3 weeks later. Pretty sure she knew the guy. Gave me the whole I need time and space to think and be alone. You need to find someone who can appreciate you even though I did everything for them. The whole it’s not you it’s me speech. I treated them way too good. And I got dropped like I was trash. I love her and miss her even still after she shattered my heart into pieces. Been 2 months and the ruminations are horrible.

I left my avoidant ex 6 months ago. We were together 6 years on and off. She broke up 3 times in that six years. I was addicted to her and we have a child together. 6 months ago I began to call her out. Saying I have needs of intimacy time together . She pulled away and I broke up, realising she can't meet my needs. it was hard in the beginning but I'm still in no contact. Sometimes she writes about something regarding my son. But we never talk about personal things anymore. And it feels better and better

He came back after 6 months of no contact with message. He replied with congratulations bbe on my story Should I reply to him, & tell him if he’s avoidant or not.? What should I do?

I used to be avoidant i was just attracted to people that didnt really give fuck.. Those who loved me or liked me i took for granted

Omg what a pita just get a new partner

Folks don’t waste your time on “how to get your avoidant back “ I did everything that said on the video and more, but after over a year I stopped if they value you they wouldn’t leave and treat you like shit for loving them! Alot of these people if not all are abusive, watch Kim Saeed video on dismissve avoidnats for a different perspective!

What is an avoidant who privately is very loving and emotional or is that just cautious

they're so addicted to me that they'd rather continue the no-contact period lol 😂

Partially agree with this, you gotta operate from your own frame. If they eventually don't show up you give them the gift of closure and walk away... now that's something they do not like because they now have to sit with the consequences of their choices. In this video, it's explaining how you have to fall in their frame to make it work, that's inherent weakness and it will destroy you in the long run. Be empathic, don't take thing personal, sure. But always operate from a position of STRENGTH.

My ex just moved on. We were together 4.5 years and I asked about the future. To avoid it, he immediately jumped into a new relationship. I feel bad for him. He’d rather start over than become close. It’s really sad.

I don’t know whether I am an avoidant or anxious, can one have both?

I am avoidant and we DO NOT comeback ... leaving someone made me feel relax... relationship is very big risk for us, we have to show our vulnerabilty that is very very scary... so when a relatIonship ends we feel relax and out of DANGER

Any avoidant worth their salt will not respond to any sort of no-contact. A good avoidant will avoid the hell out of you forever and not blink an eyelid. These avoidants that come back after a period of no-contact are weak and pathetic, they are letting the team down !!

Please stop these exback bs videos. Let's to videos on shaming some of these people who conducted bad behavior as a warning or to get them to change their behavior.