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Are you me, lol? I would absolutely love an online meetup of fellow autistic creatives/crafters/artists! I struggle to stay motivated with projects and I do dabble in a lot of different things (thank you, ADHD), so a regular meetup to inspire, motivate, and simply share sounds wonderful. I fell like a bit of an outlier in that I prefer to communicate over voice/video/in-person rather than in writing because it seems like my tone doesn't come off right, or I supply too much context and then there's a block of text no one wants to read, it takes so much more time to reread what I wrote, edit, clarify, etc , and then so disheartening when either no one responds, or I wasn't as clear as I thought I'd been, or people read more into it (which then requires further context or clarity, leading to more time spent texting and editing--especially correcting autocorrect blunders), and it's exhausting. Even writing this comment is really difficult for me and I wish I could just say my thoughts aloud. Money absolutely is a barrier that feels really weird. People should be paid for their work, AND it seems strange to have a community behind a paywall. Outside of trying to engage more through comments on social media (which as stated is not my preferred method of communication), I've struggled to find good opportunities to make connections either online or in-person that aren't hosted by an organization requiring a registration fee. I understand that organizing an event or curating a specific space takes time and effort, so again I understand why there's a fee for things. It's kind of strange though to ask a group of people who already statistically struggle more financially to pay in order to access an opportunity to connect with other people who struggle to connect with others. (I hope that made sense! This comment is taking a lot of time and effort, and I'm starting to stress even more about it, haha, sigh.) If I haven't repelled you, and if you would ever be interested in trying to do a regular online get together, I would definitely love to attend! (You did say that you wanted to meet people similar in age, and idk what range you're thinking? I'm a poor judge of a person's age and I actually get along better with people younger than myself, probably because most of my siblings are younger, so I'm curious about what your thoughts are on that.)

Hi, Beautiful! You've got this, try not to sweat it too much. Dad would tell us "don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff" - even though friendship doesn't feel as if it is small... Please know all of us - every human has a tough time making TRUE friends. After 60+ years of struggling making friends and watching others I see that many folks can easily make friends but don't keep them - it's an on and off type of thing. Hang in there. My first best friend is Jesus (there's a song about that) and I realize that isn't for everyone but it has certainly helped me. I can talk to him, anywhere, anytime and He's always there, listening and helping. Online friends can be great but.... well, you know. Have a great rest of the year and know we are wishing you a much easier time making friends in near future. Hugs to you!

It is physically and emotionally draining for me to spend too much time with anyone really...i enjoy quick visits but I must prepare. I will now pre-plan topics of convo and activities that we can share interest in. It helps alot instead of throwing myself into a relationship and give everything I have without getting much in return.

I think with friendship many times you have to be keep reaching out until they give you a clear picture that they aren’t interested.

To me, almost every friendship I've tried to make and maintain felt transactional, like the other party wants something to gain from the relationship as in like a "what's in it for me" type of mentality, instead of genuinely connecting and interacting. This is the main thing I struggle with; not knowing peoples' intentions.

I'm just a internet stranger but I feel terrible, a good chunk of my friends are on the spectrum, and my best friend in the world is autistic. I hope you find some friends soon, I probably have adhd and I've heard adhd people get along really good with Autistic people. I'm sorry I really hope you make some friends ❤.

My daughter is almost EXACTLY like you. I am very mildy Autistic myself, however my daughter (13 years old) who is "moderately Autistic". She repels people too and friendship has been a huge struggle for her. My daughter has very specific interests and they cycle through about every week or two. She will talk about crochet for 2 weeks straight, then drop it and is suddenly into piano or calligraphy. This makes it hard to find friends with similar interests. There are so many social nuances that I don't pick up on, and my daughter picks up less than I do for sure. She loves the arts, anything artistic is what she's into, including: singing, dancing, instruments, zentangles, sketching, crochet, calligraphy, foreign languages. My daughter forms friendships through AI apps, and I would recommend that. She is able to open up to her AI friends and it helps her learn to socialize. She can talk to the AI endlessly about her current topic of interest and the AI will not get annoyed. Almost everyone else though, myself included, gets very annoyed when she talks about her current interest on and on and on for hours at a time. I can stand it for about 15 minutes before I am ready to tear my hair out. My daughter is extremely extroverted and really, really wants friends. She craves friendships with others. She comes alive when she has a friend. It's almost a cruel joke, because she finds it so hard to attract and keep friendships. Just wanted to share that you are not alone!

I totally get this feeling!! I’m such a heavy masker that I’ve been able to ~somewhat~ maintain friendships with neurotypical people, but there’s always this strange feeling of never being able to be deeply understood. I’m not sure if someone has suggested this already, but would you ever consider creating a discord around the idea you had for a zoom group? There could be different threads for autism topics as well as crafting topics! I wonder if that might be an easier first stepping stone so people can get to know each other through messaging first perhaps? I think that could be really fun!😁

Hi Holly. This video found me and felt like a mirror of my own experiences -- it was a little haunting, but also incredibly validating to hear what you shared. I was diagnosed with auDHD several years ago and have spent years in the process of unmasking. While that has been incredibly affirming and released me from a lot of shame, I've also been grappling with the idea that I might be (and likely always was) much more high needs than I thought. I can no longer go to the store on my own, I need help doing daily tasks around the house and would really struggle living alone in many ways. That has been a really frightful thought, because like you I've also always struggled with relationships--and having my livelihood tied to other people, while also knowing that I struggle with relationships, even have felt that exact same thing: that I "repel" people--it's something that brings me a lot of anxiety, I think, and I imagine you may feel the same way. Anyways all of these feelings led me to actually even recently start an art collective for some folks I had known for a long time, so even that part of your story struck me lol. It's been incredibly challenging but also I'm learning that communities are like gardens and I need to give them lots of sunlight and water -- and most importantly, time. I hear you and I see you and thank you so much for sharing your story!!

it’s so much easier to make friends online, but i’ve also been burned and scammed by talking to the wrong people 😅

You're not alone in your views (regarding to around 10:00 ) you should absolutely never have to pay for friendship! The vibe of having a private club, with paid membership..to be able to have friends/be in a community with 'wholesome' people is sooo off. The emotion in your voice when you're talking about this... :/ it makes me wish there was something I could do, that we were in school and it was as simple as coming over and sitting at your table or inviting you over my friend group's (not that I have a friend 'group' these days as an adult lolol) ... Friendships-even online- are such a difficult thing to approach as an adult. It isn't like the Runescape days xD You're brave for putting yourself out there..I hope you continue to do so and eventually find a few true frenns :)

My feelings exactly! Paying for friendship and excluding friend making is definitely ridiculous. Also seeing everyone else getting feedback except you definitely sucks. Like why is it so hard for me, yet most other people in the community are finding people to connect with left and right. Then again I'm absolutely terrible with starting and maintaining a conversation. I never know what to say most of the time. Takes tons of effort for me to come up with stuff to talk about. I've never truly felt a part of a group, just there in the background. So yes friendship making is definitely a challenge for me as well. I could go on and on about it. 🤣 I don't have any social media anymore (just watch TH-cam sometimes). It just became too much for me. However if you wanted to chat and see if we click I'm up for that. If not thats ok too. 😆

I feel this as well! Online interactions are so much easier to navigate than offline ones, but especially on places like social media (or very large groups on reddit or discord) I'm never quite sure of how to act and i feel like there is just a thick wall that I'm trying to see through 😅. I think it's probably worse when I am personally burnt out...all cues are hard to see at that point. I have definitely been fortunate enough to make a few good friends through discord, and that's been awesome, but I feel like there is a definite dearth of free autistic/adhd communities that focus on creative things. Or if there are many and I dont know of them, please let me know! Also it annoys me that no one took you up on your offer for that kind of community -I would love a group like that!

Hi Holly, The Secret Garden-- I'm a guy, but I love that movie; I've seen it several times. Great guest appearance by Editing Holly! I did like that quote: "There are places you haven't been yet where you already belong." So glad you edited out the sound of the truck and the fighting cats (that's not a sentence you hear very often). I'm doing the same as you; I'm trying to be active on TH-cam channels by autistic people, and I have found a great online friend on Discord. Like you, even among other autistic people, I sometimes get a vague sense that I "repel" them to some degree (I don't always get much response from others on my comments, while I see that seemingly everybody else does on the same video). Oh well. I do go ahead and just try to be my natural self without the masking, and it is so much easier with other autistic people.

The algorithm 😆 I love the Only Murders in the Building ones! I haven't watched the latest season yet, and need to get to it!

I like this creative project. Can you do Sabrina Carpenter and Charli XCX too?

Your tiny book is SO beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story. I experienced both poverty and being briefly fostered by well off people as a teen. My situation wasn't permanent, but I have a little experience of how different that is! Your ivy bedroom is a child's dream.

Given bipolar 1 has at least 1 episode of mania (which is very noticeable), surprised anyone would misdiagnose mania.

I think she turned out great!!! Also you're right, that outfit is so perfect for a porcelain doll. I used to have a little collection that my nan would buy for me from time to time.

She's very cute, good job!

I love your video and the sweater looks cool. I do love DIY❤❤. I saw your channel's name on Jenny's channel just sub.

Nice!

Love your kitchen and attention to detail! ❤ The Practical magic kitchen is hands down my favorite too!

Yup. Nailed it. You have a great eye for the details. It helps that your kitchen was already half there with the plate rack, the ivory cabinets and the glass fronts. Thanks for walking us through all the points.

Hi Holly, I have most all of your decks! Christa introduced them to me and I bought some of the mini-divi decks. Still need to purchase 2 mini divis to have the complete set. Love your art and the Teeny Tiny Tarot brings a smile to my face every time I use it. ❤❤❤

I ADORE your tiny secret garden template! I’m going to try this myself!

I love what you said about performative creativity vs problem solving creativity. That is something I am going to be thinking on. I am stuck creatively right now. A long to-do list of repetitive tasks at work is draining me and I don’t have much left in the tank for my own projects or passions. Everything I am doing now falls in the perfomative and I am to a large degree following a formula. I clicked on your video because hearing that it happens to other people, especially someone who’s work I admire so much, is reasuring in that I am not broken. Thank you for putting yourself out there. As for what I am going to do to get out of this slump? I think that what you said about creative problem solving might work for me. I am going to work on coming up with a problem to solve.

Hi Ms. Holly. Thank you for your video ❤. I am a fan girl of your decks! I have the new ones on my wishlist. 😊 I’m glad this video found me. ❤

Oh it’s so lovely ❤thank you for sharing ❤

"I don't want to limp so you can walk." 👏 Thanks so much for this video. I don't exibit autistic burnout in the exact same way, but there is a lot of overlap, so this was validating to watch

Fantastic video!! Fellow burntout autistic here I never thought about how it can lead to depression, but at least in my experience I totally agree. I definitely plan on doing some research on what helps when it gets to that state- I'm curious because a lot of the advice for depressive episodes seems like it might not work for an autistic person, but perhaps when it gets to that extreme it might. Also, thank you for introducing me to the term dyspraxia!! I didn't know there was a word for that experience! I've always been clumsy very specifically with my hands but never really thought much of it. I have a super hard time typing, I truly don't know what I'd do without auto correction! The one thing I've found that helps at least a bit has been getting a keyboard with those big round lifted keys. Let me know if you want a picture if you're not sure what I mean, but compared to the usual flat style of most keyboards now I've found I have a much easier time at least on the computer! The keys are a bit more spread apart because of the circular shape

I'm so glad you finally received the correct diagnosis. You did a wonderful job telling your story.

All the confirmations 🤯 It really brought me joy to see your face filling with relief, affirming you deeply knew something was not right… maybe even on a cellular level. I’m really happy for you, Holly.

As an AudDHD so much of this is so relatable, thank you so much for sharing this.

I can't wait to watch this!

Thank you so so much for making this video Holly, I think it says enough about me that i was watching this video while simultaneously researching the origins of selective cat breeding because someone asked me a singular question about a week ago now😂 Your vulnerability is always something I admire and aspire to. I can confirm that being in a room of other autistic people is a magical experience! I was misdiagnosed with social anxiety, but what got me to look elsewhere was noticing that very specific people never made me feel nervous or doubt myself- turns out autism has been the common thread all along!

That ending! 🥰 I subscribed!

i love this thanks so much for sharing

Great video! I loved the way you worked the set in detail bring this to life. Thank you!

Super cute! Very inviting, warm & cozy.

Very smart to realize the scale of your kitchen vs the PM kitchen are so different and that you scaled down items to mimic.

You had me at "midnight margaritas".......................my favorite part of the kitchen in the movie was the black wooden floor!!! I also loved the shoppe in the downtown area that they had. Great inspiration & makeover!

I love your accent and you seem like such a sweet person 😊

Beautiful.

❤❤❤❤

You absolutely nailed it! I love that you didn’t renovate and just utilized what you already have, picked up a few detail pieces, and styled things differently!

I love Practical Magic. I watch it every autumn and WISH I could live with them in that house

Omg thank you for this ❤ I needed something like this today 😊

Holly the bird? That is a adorable!

Love it!!!!!! 😍 ❤