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You absolutely deserve friends and it's a shame that you found people that enjoyed drama more than genuine friendship, or were so blinded by their own insecurities that they couldn't see how they were hurting people. ❤ you deserved BETTER.

Aldi needs to sponsor you! 😂❤

My family and I are convinced that Aldi (especially the special finds aisle) is a magic portal of manifestation... literally WHATEVER we need in that moment, it somehow appears at Aldi. Exercise equipment, porch swinging chairs, generators... we love Aldi

I absolutely love your channel ❤ I love your energy

I was in a mom's for special needs group for many years and it could be very supportive but toxic at the same time. Eventually I outgrew it.

I’m not lucky with friends I don’t have any I used to when I was younger but they where all older than me and used to push me around and used me but when I grew up and got tired of that , I was friends for 25 years with this woman she was 16 years older than me and she always would find a way to put me down she never wanted to see me do better than she did she would thrive when my life was upside down and get upset and depressed when I did well to the point that I wouldn’t share my happiness so that she wouldn’t get upset, I finally let her go at first I felt bad because we had history together some good times but now I realize that I don’t have to walk on egg shells anymore I don’t have to be afraid of something good happens to me I don’t have to hide it I hope she rot I truly detest her she was nothing but an old jealous loser who couldn’t even wash her hair now I feel like I got freedom like I’m not in chains anymore I’m free I wish I let her go sooner!

Thank you for this video...

I never found my TRIBE, but realized I DID, MY PETS

I LOVE ANIMALS MORE THAN PEOPLE and they appreciate me!!!

People ask me why I stay home so much & don’t want to go out with them . I am married and we have 1 son that’s in college. I tell them because no matter who is here at my house and they live here at least I know for sure that I like everybody. And it’s the truth.

I have always travelled Solo !!

Wow! This really took me back to the most painful “breakup” I’ve ever experienced. Her name was Amy 😅 I had moved around so much with my husband’s career and we moved to yet another state and I was so lonely. When she came along I had never experienced such a fun relationship. We did everything together and always laughed until we cried. It sadly became my everything. After all, what else did I need? After about almost two years she started being too busy to talk and made excuses for everything as to why we couldn’t get together. She even denied that anything was wrong. Eventually she ignored me completely. This was about 25 years ago, and I thought I would never get over how sad it made me. Eventually I realized I’d done nothing; she was shallow and cruel. I’ve long since realized that having a BFF isn’t necessarily the best relationship you’ll ever have. I’m much happier keeping myself busy doing things I enjoy most of the time with a sprinkling of a few friends that don’t take all of my time and energy. This works just fine for me ❤

I've never needed a best friend or support group, and always been content being alone, but what I gather from your story is that the impetus of the group with a queen bee led you to the realization that you don't need a best friend or group. Even in darkness light is embedded.

One of my besties blew my mind when he told me I’m allowed to have multiple besties haha I am a pretty open person as well so I make a lot of friends and unfortunately that means I lose many as well. But I have a tight group of people who I consider great friends now and always know that if someone pulls what that Queen Bee did to you I have a whole community to fall back on!

The key to happiness, avoid people 😂

Someone who is truly you friend will be there when times get rough, which is a true test of your relationship, otherwise they are just fair - weather friends. Doesn't sound like true friendship in your group, sorry. Seems forced and competitive and all you had to do was team up with the people you clicked with and leave the "group". Funny how men don't have these types of issues!

We are raised to gossip while we flit and flutter. We are raised to be b*tchy. I don't like women for the most part. I'm 60, and I have yet to be proven wrong. Gay dude is the best answer!! Trust me 💗

I don't think we have these groups in England.

I had friends that I trusted would be there for me like I was for them. Turns out, they weren't. If i'm irrelevant to them apart from when it suits them e.g. when they are gaining something, I question whether they were ever really a friend to begin with.

I enjoy being alone or with my husband and children. They are enough for me.

Once you leave a church most people shun you. Sad, but true. Lots of clicks in a church family. I’ve never fit in a click, praise God for that! My click is my immediate family.

I disagree in my case. My 1st job at age 18 my coworkers were all near my age. Over 40 years later we are still good friends. I don’t get to see them often but when I do it’s like time stood still. Could be the kind of business I work in. I’m so sorry that happened to you!

Like you, I have had this happen to me with multiple friendships. Now, my husband is my best friend. It took many friends to get to this place but I’m happier for it. I’ve come to realize over the years that in most cases I was their friend, but they weren’t really mine.

Thank you for that very touching and insightful talk. What you mentioned about work "friends" really resonated with me. I became very close with this one woman at work and was very attracted to her. I've tried to reach out to her several times but she never responded. I miss her very much. I'm devastated. BTW, you seem like a very warmhearted person and I'd love to be friends with you. 🙂

I have also thought a lot on the subject of friendship, and how you build one that is true and lasts over time (I don't have true friends either). I found that Aristotle said that there are three types of friendship: a) for convenience, b) for pleasure and c) by character (the real one, the most difficult to achieve and that which extends over time despite everything). From this discovery, I understood that perhaps, most of the friends we form, were of the types a) and b). That's why they ended when the other didn't need us anymore. The "situational" friendships would also enter this category, such as those that are developed at work, at school or in the church. I also think that perhaps, if we were clearer with each other about what we expect from a friendship, misunderstandings would be avoided. Or if we avoid relating to people who know that they only look for us to hang out and nothing deeper. I think it's also a matter of luck, almost as difficult as finding a partner.😊

Wow. I don't feel like a freak any more. Thank you for this video. First of all, every single friend I've had....since college ...has moved out of state and out of my life. I have no "life long friends" like some people do. I'm always stunned to learn about people still having friends in town since grade school. I've easily made new friends. They've all moved down South! And I've also had negative experiences with women I thought were my friend. Many are super competitive or very unforgiving of the slightest things that have upset them. I've been blindsided several times by female friends. I no longer trust women friends. I no longer desire women friends. I'm happily married....29 years now. My closest friends that I enjoyed going to lunch with now live out of state. I've just given up. I have no children or family aside from my husband. Most people are 100% focused on family....so I feel like chopped liver. I've just accepted isolation as a way of life.

I'm 59, and have no friends outside of my family. I have tried making friends over the years, but find my husband, children (adults now), and fur babies are enough for me. 💕

I am Christian, a Catholic, and I will tell you that I got involved. I was a Catechism teacher for 5th grade, a Eucharistic minister, a lector, the teen youth group, helped with the decorations committee, and finally, I got involved in the music ministry. This is where I found my people. But the more I was involved the more people I met in a 1500 family parish and they knew me, it felt more like home. I’m not sure why you kept getting involved in “mom” groups. Now, I don’t know evangelical churches except that they are more entertainment and Bible teaching, mostly gospel or New Testament teaching. But, I have been in a Lutheran Bible group that was clickish. It wasn’t for me. I never bad mouthed them or gossiped about them though. In the Catholic Church I didn’t experience this. I found that I made the most friends in music ministry because I was a singer and I’m a flutist and harpist, so being a musician was something I had in common. We would go out to dinner after mass, and we hung out together making music. I think the best way to find friends is to get involved in volunteering until you find your niche. But one thing I will say is that I see a pattern of negativity and gossip about these people. If they find you on;one that will hurt your chances at making friends as well.

At 72 I know my personality type is introvert. Which is not a mental illness like my mother conveyed to me growing up. It's not so hard for me to be alone. Actually a blessing after my best friend and hubby passed away 4 years ago leaving me alone but I have my beloved dogs and Jesus.

I’ve been know to say, “Sometimes the worst advertisement for Christianity is the so-called Christians themselves!” However, I’d never “throw the baby out with the bath water,” because I realize many use church more as a social club, than a place to learn, grow, and mature to be more like Jesus, the ultimate “best friend” who won’t let us down. You are the type of person that I’d totally gravitate to in a group, not the “popular girls.” Thanks for being transparent and vulnerable by sharing your life stories. I’d rather have one or two loyal friends than a group of superficial women. Just keep being your authentic self! 🥰

Dear Amy, you’re certainly not alone. I’m 78 and been dumped a few times. No idea why. People are weird. Warm wishes from Mary in England x

My best friend has 4 legs and has never let me down. 👍

One thing I learned while being dragged to various churches for 18 years and getting deeply involved with them is that most Christians are anything but Christian. That goes all the way to the very top. If you want to see hypocrisy that equals the political scale, go to a church. Not recommended.

Animals rule❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

The prosperity gospel belief took over religion several years ago. It ruined religion.

Amy, I find your honesty so refreshing. Thank you for your courage. 😊

So many fake peaple out there..I have had fake freinds still very disappointing..I'll take my dogs over peaple they never disappoint and love you unconditionally 😊

This is precisely why I prefer to work with men. In the workplace, most women form cliques and play stupid games. Most men don't do that. In high school, I formed a group of friends that were rejected by everyone else (all girls). We seemed to get along well as we all understood what rejection felt like. I've not found a group of female friends since high school because they all act as you describe, or socializing becomes a comparison fest of who is the best person, has the best whatever, went to the greatest whatever, etc. And, if you happen to come out on top of any of those categories, you'd better prepare for everyone to work at bringing you down. When I became single, suddenly, married women found yet another reason to reject me. They were sure I wanted their man. Ahahahahaha. Nothing was further from the truth. I had several children to care for and raise--on my own--and myself to care for. I had/have no desire to form a relationship of any kind with a man (or a woman, for that matter). I have 2 close friends and my children. That's all I need. I avoid people like the plague!

I totally understand. I get those gut hunches about people too. But I love people with all my heart and believe everyone deserves a chance.But I was betrayed too many times by ignoring my gut hunches out of loneliness. My hunches always turned out correct. I was always there for them believing,If you want a friend, you have to be one. That never really worked for me. I couldn't deal with that grade school mentality in adult women. So, I avoided any hen groups. Right now my last BFF is married to my ex husband. She turned on me. My only two good trusted friends died. That was 25 years ago and I haven't gotten close to anyone except my husband since.

I have just recently detached myself from my friend for 10 years. I think some people do not care about loyalty anymore. It is so hard to deal with people who always think there is nothing wrong with them and they could never be wrong. Now, I am reconnecting with the people she used to talk about as she believed they talked bad about her before. But now, it is so nice to know the other side of the story. But I don’t think I would be close to someone ever again.

I was dumped many years ago by my very best friend out of the blue for no reason. We were on the phone and I was tired so he tells me I’m boring, hangs up on me and I never heard from him again. Very childish yes. I was also dumped by a couple of girls in middle school for no reason I can think of. This nonsense has made me the loner I am today. Oh and there were a few more incidents of grown women talking negatively behind my back while being phony to my face. Live and learn.

You’re of no use to her anymore. Tammy is selfish and not a good friend. Good riddance.

The way I look at it there’s only a few things that I need in life and everything else is secondary. I had many friends in the 1990s when I was in my 20s and 30s but after we all went our seperate ways I’ve never tried to make any more . There are some good people but so many are fake or fair weather friends . My wife and I keep to ourselves with our little dog and have a great time .

I'm 53 and I decided the same thing 2 years ago.

Congratulations on your ability to articulate so clearly your experiences and their impact on your present choices.

the queen bee book is the basis of the movie mean girls fyi!

What I don't like are people I call sunshine friends. They are happy to be around when things are looking up but not when they aren't. You need to be able to stand alone. Find your own inner strength. People will come and go in life. ❤

A lot of people seem to seek a closure to a friendship, especially after being ghosted by a "friend". At some point I also was very frustrated since the ghosting happened quite often and a closure would certainly provide some sort of relief. I thought so. But now I think there is no nice way to end a friendship, because it will hurt someone anyway. Somebody who is ghosting isn't a real friend, because a real friend would have respect towards us. Sometimes a friendship is not nurturing and there is no point of watering a dead plant. I think that we generally as people tend to sugarcoat nice memories and choose to remember the good times. When I was dumped by a friend, after many years I realized, that she was not the person I thought she was. It turned out that our relationship was less important to her than it was for me. We were friends for years, yet it was so easy for her to just cut me off. If that doesn't scream 'closure' then I don't know what does :)

I had a best friend from age 19 to early 50's. Around my mid forties she started working at a new place, she made new friends that were alot younger than her and basically put our friendship on a shelf. At that same time I started to go through a spiritual awakening. And started focusing on that path. Whenever we would see each other again it just didn't feel the same. And the gap in our friendship grew. I grieved and fretted over this losing of a friend for several years. I left the door open so to speak hoping that our friendship would rekindle or maybe there would be some closure. Fast forward my husband passed away when I was 54. I messaged her about it. She did not come to the funeral but she came to the reception at my home and the day after. I never got a call from asking how I was just a "Happy 4th of July" type message around a holiday but never anything personal. It was then I made the decision to end the friendship. There was no friendship happening anyway. I had nothing to lose. Whatever that friendship was before was long dead at that point. So, the next time I received a bullsh*t text about a holiday I ignored her... I ignored her text a couple of more times and she got the hint and stopped texting. Now at 57 yrs old I finally un friended her on FB after a dream I had about her showing up out of nowhere and acting like nothing was amiss. Sometimes relationships are in your life for a short time. And sometimes a long time. But they will leave your life if they're not meant to stay. Looking back they were red flags about her personality that I overlooked because I loved her more than my own sisters. I know better now about what I'm willing to accept and tolerate. I still think about her but I don't miss her anymore.

I have studied extensively about narcissism. Im pretty good at recognizing narcissistic traits in people. Some have more traits then others. When I recognize alot of those traits in a person I stay away ,I do not let myself get sucked in.