วีดีโอ

I'm going to leave a bigger comment soon but I'm just so emotional and excited about the fact that I resonate so much worth this. I don't even know if resonate is the right word but I don't care, I'm sure you know what I mean. It feels like you're talking about my life.

I feel this. I have cut people out of my life due to being anti-abortion or pro IRA (I live in Belfast) because I just get so angry and can’t look at them the same way 😂 I also got into a massive fight on instagram because I said when I got the call my dad was dying it was 1am and yet I didn’t speed going to the hospital because I just can’t do it. I have some weird thing where I can’t stand people that speed and I can’t do it even in that circumstance 😂 I just avoid politics so I stay out of it entirely, especially being in Northern Ireland, I would have no friends left 😂

I only just saw this! Enjoyed watching it and great that you’re raising awareness 🤗

oh I am dyslexic have a brain injury (stroke) now you have convinced me I have ADHD🤣😂 and yes I am living under a rock sorry but what did she do.

Oh and criticism sensitivity 😅 you have all the great adhd things. Have you thought about seeing a neurodivergent focused psychologist? Might be useful to help you understand all the various traits 😊

And conflict aversion, also very common amongst adhd folk

What you're describing is called masking. You mask your neurodivergent traits when around other people.

Omg , I related so much to this video!! The part about problems from others , especially. When you said they might have just needed to rant but you automatically take it on and try solve it. I think mine started from a bad relationship and I feel soo bad that I may have passed it on to my son ,obviously unintentionally but the guilt I feel. Thank you for sharing.

TikTok has become awful for influencer marketing since tiktok shop! the amount of people just selling nonsense stuff and tat constantly is mind boggling. It’s an instant put off for me if someone I watch on any platform just seems to sell stuff all the time. I understand having to accept brand deals and the need to make money but you can tell when it’s not genuine and that’s the issue. Love to see people sticking to their morals!

I think many of us can relate to that validation, many times I’ve second guessed myself about my own brain and body and then years later discovered I was right and if I had pushed I would have saved myself so much suffering. I don’t ignore my gut feelings now and I hope going forward you have the confidence to advocate for yourself too, you know yourself better than anyone..I think the disbelief thing with mums is perhaps generational and also not wanting to believe it. My mum used to be a nurse/midwife so she is obviously more qualified than me, but she didn’t believe me when I was in pre-term labour, or when I got my bipolar diagnosis, and didn’t believe me when my son had meningitis and was seriously ill! I think she just simply could not take it in, it was too much for her..but I also think she thought I was just being silly. It really hurts, but like you I made peace with it, and now I’m in my 40’s she never doubts me. There might be an element of guilt for your mum too, she maybe didn’t want to see it in case she saw it as something she failed as a mother when you were growing up, which is not true. It’s difficult all round.

I 100% get this! X

So happy for you that you got your diagnosis! I know from a handful of friends how transformative it can be for some people. A lot of what you spoke about resonates with me, but it doesn’t affect me so much that I feel the need to take a spot on those ever growing wait lists at this point in time Thanks so much for sharing your experience

Just in case you’re missing a few subscriber numbers/views and I’m not the only one, I seem to have got unsubbed from this channel between this video and the one before it

I’m so happy for you! I was quitely hoping you would seek medical help. So nice to hear you don’t wish you didn’t have it. I have a ADHD diagnosis since I was 23 (43 now) and I don’t take any medication, though therapy helps me a lot as I also think it’s part of who I am and I just wanna handle life the best I can. Wish you all the best!

Well done for sticking to your guns and going ahead with getting diagnosed. I’m a couple of years older than yourself and only in the past two years have I been diagnosed for ASD and ADHD. Also thanks for sharing your story. Much love xx

I've wondered for years if I could have ADHD... but things didn't really fit into the neat little boxes. Last year TH-cam recommended an Autism video so I watched it and resonated with it. I came to conclusion I'm likely autistic, but it doesn't account for everything and I think I might be both autistic and ADHD. I'm in Canada... I was told by my nurse practitioner I couldn't get an assessment because they only do assessments for children and I'd have to go through the private route and pay thousands of dollars that I don't have. I also talked to my mom about it all. She did argue about the ASD and apologised for not knowing (it wasn't really a thing when I was a kid/teen in the 80s & 90s, especially for girls... so I don't blame her and I did okay academically... despite not having friends and being horribly bullied). She insists I don't have ADHD though. there's no way I can because my dad's best friend has ADHD and I'm nothing like him... I'm not constantly on the move and unable to sit down for long, or super impulsive, or reckless.... though the fact that I can't sit for a 2 hour movie, I often swing my legs under the table, doodle, fidget... and likely have ASD which I think liking routines and not liking sudden changes win out (though I can't say I haven't made impulsive purchases... like stopping at walmart on the way home after being fired because I was crying too much and buying a few bikinis I never wore except in the house when it was too hot). I can't go into everything... I just understand the feelings... the dismissal. I know self-diagnosis is valid, but after being told for so many years that I'm wrong about everything that my opinions/likes/dislikes were wrong... that I needed to try harder... I need to apply myself more... I'm not good enough... I can't trust myself. I feel like I need the validation, but I can't afford it. 🙁 I'll stop rambling now...

Definitely agree - I literally saw an influencer promoting natural cycles as a form of contraception the other day. Makes me so angry.

Oh my goodness how everything resonated with me. All the things you mentioned. I’m much much older than you but I absolutely know I have ADHD and believe my mum did too. I really do feel I’m too old to get a formal diagnosis now. The big difficulty I’d also have is there is nobody now living who knows about the struggles I have had. I’ve never shared with anyone. The few friends I’ve mentioned it to obviously don’t believe I have it and don’t take the subject seriously. I certainly couldn’t get anyone to fill in a form because nobody knows. I don’t have any relatives. It has had a huge impact on my life, and still does. I feel angry at the way you were treated.

Very hard hitting video. Whatever has helped you is valid - regardless of what anyone else has to say about it - although I totally understand it is difficult to quiet that particular noise. God people can be vile can’t they! Hopefully you won’t need medication and relevant talking therapy / coping strategies will help you. You have the support of your family and your people and that’s what counts. Also v glad you feel able to talk about this because I’m sure that will help you too. Brave lady xxxx

Thank you for sharing this. Even if someone doesn't relate to ADHD, the part where your speaking about your mums form replies will resonate with some with depression or other illness. I suffer with fibromyalgia. The amount of time people & loved ones have said to me, "get a grip, it's all in your head " has been hard to swallow. Looking forward to more "talks" xx

Hi 👋, I am up in the early hours having a menopause night sweat, oh my god it's ad but watching you has taken my mind off it, I think you are very brave to speak about it and it must of been such a relief to know that you were right all along because we know our self better than anyone, I think it must be a great comfort to know why you do the things you do,there's definitely something going on with me,don't know what it is ,it's always been there and I know I think and act differently to most people, I manage to cover things up most of the time and luckily my husband understands me and just is always very helpful, for years I worried why am I like this,say that ,do that but now I just am me,my husband loves me because of everything so I don't need a label from a doctor but I do wonder what that label would be, that's why I don't have a photo of me,I don't have any photos of me from being a child, no wedding photos, no passport!!!I can't have have my photo taken the thought brings me out in a panic, that is just one example of the many strange things about me but I am very happy with my husband he is a Saint, maybe I have over shared but you have made me feel that it is ok to be different, Kate 😊

Thank you so much for sharing. Really resonated with me. My psychiatrist opened my assessment with “your parents do t think your ASD and ADHD”. I cried. We have never spoken about it. As an adult diagnosed at 47 I was shattered, we really don’t talk about it . Your view was so enlightening, the headache analogy was excellent. Love to you xxx

❤

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Thank you for sharing your story. I found this so interesting. Being on sertraline myself, I’d be interested in hearing your experience if you felt like sharing. ❤

I'm glad that getting diagnosed made you feel better. This was an emotional video to watch so it couldn't have been easy to make.

I have watched your videos for years and I've always felt that we had similar personality traits. A while back u mentioned that someone had suggested you have adhd and I had a very surprising light bulb moment! After my own research I have come to the conclusion that I also have adhd. I spoke to my Dr a few months ago about this over the phone, no face to face appointmemt! I was told that if I did, there was no NHS adult adhd assessment in Northern Ireland and if I went private the NHS wouldn't recognise it!!!

I am the waiting list 6-7 I could right to choose. Like yourself at the moment very much I have lived for this long I can wait that might change but now I wait . Good on you for getting answers after going through all that .

Thanks for sharing and I’m glad you found the diagnosis helpful. I think for a lot of people it is a gateway to understanding themselves and that can be invaluable. I just wish the system wasn’t stretched the way it is both financially and physically so that more people could gain that knowledge and then support if required. I have a young adult daughter just starting down this path for ASD (possibly also has ADHD) who I believe is one of those many girls who slipped through the net in school due to being quiet, academically capable (although never reaching her full potential, running out of time in exams etc) and was possibly shielded in a lot of ways by supportive parents but now she’s trying to navigate the world on her own it’s throwing up real obstacles for her. ❤

This is so me. I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed Adhd and now I realise why I am the way I am. The injustice thing is something I struggle with and I'm finding it difficult to watch current news and can't talk about politics etc with anyone as I'll fall out with the person. I fully believe I need to get on the list to get diagnosed but don't think I can wait years to find out as I'm now 50. Thank you for sharing ❤

I'm loving these talks so much.🥰 You're not crazy!

I’ve been watching you forever haha 😂 I’m a Canadian, I am married with 1 heavenly baby (trying for another), I just turned 37 and excited for this new channel! I may skip some really mom specific topics as it may be a bit triggering for me in my current situation.😊

Totally get this , I sometimes feel like a voice of the people and sometimes it’s absolutely none of my business but I can’t keep my mouth shut 🤦🏽‍♀️😂 when I feel like something is wrong I have to speak up

I love this video. I don't think I'm hypervigilant but I recognise this in some other people I know. I also really feel the trying not to screw up your kids but knowing you kind of can't totally avoid it bit... my thing is always trying to apologise when I screw up because I feel like that is something my own parents never do

This trait isn’t something I have in my personality. I have to tell you though, it sounds absolutely exhausting! Perfectly okay to put yourself first, especially if you’re arguing about things that “don’t matter” ie the type of issues you mentioned. I genuinely do think you’re very hard on yourself, but at least if you can recognise when it’s happening and pull yourself out of it, that’s a good thing. Also worth mentioning, there are a LOT of imbeciles online and they’re so not worth it xx

Ok, well I didn't think I had ADHD but now I do 😂 The injustice issue is something I have always had and never understood. Like you say, it lingers, and I just can't let go. Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this though x

This is absolutely how I feel. I have to sit on my hands because of previous experiences I know that ultimately I will be left upset and the other person will just walk away unaffected. It is funny because in Eastenders last week a character mentioned to Bianca that a strong sense of injustice can be a symptom of ADHD. It is something I have been thinking about recently because I feel like I have a few symptoms of ADHD and because I have mild cerebral palsy that can be common to have ADHD too. There is also a few symptoms that I definitely don’t relate with. I doubt that i will ever know.

I loved this video so much. I have the urge to re-watch it immediately but might let it percolate a bit first, then revisit. Thanks for being so open.

Vigilance is spelled with one L. Misspellings and grammatical errors are triggers of mine. 😬

Totally agree with the app thing!! It’s such an important healthcare conversation. yeh mention the app but also mention all the other options for contraception! I hate the app ads. (I did have a much longer comment but realised it was just be really moaning about those ads 🙈🤣 so deleted most of it!)

Totally agree with you about the tweakment thing and absolute respect to you for taking a stance on this 👍🏻

Love your authenticity xx

Great discussion. Thanks for being authentic.

I'm already losing sleep over Christmas this year, i could quite happily bypass the day and just do Christmas eve!! Its ridiculous really but makes perfect sense in my head. Have a lovely week xx

I’ve been watching you for a few years on your other channels, have 2 children myself, and I turn 40 in 2 weeks…. This channel sounds like it was made for me! Can’t wait! X

This video has really spoken to me. I’ve never heard of hyper vigilance but certainly have it. My anxiety to peace keep stems, I think, from the death of my dad when I was 8yo and having to deal with my mum and siblings. My whole life I’ve been the joker, life & soul etc. This also might explain why I only have complete peace when I’m alone. I’ve assumed I am a (non-dick) empath my whole life because I absorb energy and take things on - I don’t celebrate it, it’s bloody exhausting!!! Nice to know what I’m experiencing has a name 🤦🏻‍♀️ Great video xx

Gosh....excellent topic Khila. The mind is our worst enemy. I worry constantly that I did a terrible job bringing my girls up because of bad mental health. Its a horrible feeling x

I worry about things in advance all the time, it's made me miss out on social interactions and opportunities. I really enjoyed this video 😊

Looking forward to watching your new venture love. Have a lovely weekend xx