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🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌏 Avoid toxic gossip at work. Be professional.

Neither of these Karens are remotely giving the right advice. You talk to the co worker directly, and ask them if they need help understanding XYZ. And tell them you'll help until they are on par.

One trick is to tell someone to concentrate on the training or work, which is basically a combination of what you say about being told to keep quiet and gaslighting. That message says concentrate on this - not that, as if it's the targetted person's response in dealing with a nothing matter while not learning the job or not attending to the job enough the same time. I see that message as a nasty way to wash the brain to take the assaults and be better the same time. There are various ways these bad suggestions you mention can be presented. And they are equally as bad or worse depending on the person issuing the messages, the harms and fears already involved and the person hearing them. There's also the messages (excuses) you may have shared or may look into sharing which are the excuses for bullying, harassment and worse workplace crimes. They are nothing but lame. Here's one lame excuse: "(The men) weren't ready for you." And believe me, I have heard this one reworded from a few people who actually care and who listen to me when I correct them. And the bullies say it too, they started it as: "(We) weren't ready for you." Well, on social media these days, we find lots more than news covered in the days of radio, TV and newspapers on what some men do in men-only workplaces, they assault visitors during workplace tours, they go as far as to do the same stuff to male colleagues, animanls and yes machines, using gendered slurs against them, ignoring their needs and even doing the disgusting acts to them just to get away with something and all that has been going on throughout history even when very few women worked outside of homes. I say 'Every person, of any gender is ready for you, some looking forward to a new colleague, some curious how things will go and some looking for something more available to pick on and with the expectations of getting reactions - every day getting reactions unlike what the workplace tour visitors, animals and machines mentoned above will or won't react to.' The workers are all ready in their own ways and when I tell that to a genuine person who cares but has been misinformed and then tell who started that lame excuse, I get a reaction, the person taking that in and saying a lesson was taught and learned or something to that nature. Yes, on TH-cam, I saw a disgusting video and another time read a comment under a better video from men who say and do to machines what is typically said and done to women in hate and anger, and I have seen that sort of stuff go on in a number of workplaces I was hired at, not realizing all these years that is actually common. Here's another lane excuse: "This job is not for you." Like the bullies hear from the job it is not the job for you. Nope. It's not the job, don't gaslight the job for that one. The job doesn't care who can do the work, the job is not doing the offending and the job is not with all of its parts and all of its staff going at you, it's the bullies who are part of the staff - one or more and the bullies have no excuse to blame the job for their attitudes. That excuse doesn't come from well intentioned people in my experience, usually resource people who may be "helping" clients but not doing it correctly are the people who share that excuse the bullies started and continue to voice, and these people are doing more than that wrongly, as in misdirecting clients to other places which can't help, gaslighting the clients, and not putting their full efforts into helping their clients to getting justice. I could go on about lame excuses. But it serves us all better if we use logics before we speak, think from above example: in regards to harassment, men suffer that and other bad acts too, even where women are on staff it still happens to men whike women are bullies too; and to the second example, work is not a thing which picks who can work in peace and who must suffer or leave. When people who care for employees, colleagues, family members and clients think that way, they won't recycle such bad suggestions and lame excuses. And when we combine our efforts by that thinking, we will shut down every bit of these bad suggestions and lame excuses and potentially shut down most if not all bullying in short order. The content in your video is not something I could have gotten decades ago, even a few years back. What you did is tell us valueable information and invite us to comment. And I sure hope people tune in, because the words you told, I didn't hear these bad suggestions that way, people will recognise these matters better when we share how these messages are said. Best for all though, is for the authorities to take action to prevent bullying, even if that means some of them leave to make way for better leadership to take their places and stand up to bullying and to put enough bullies through the justice systems to scare the rest of them straight out of their desires to harm. Thank you kindly for this informative video. 😊

I get treated like a rug at work and other places. I'm afraid they will tell me I'm paranoid or overreacting. The problem is when I can't take any more, I explode.

Why not give advice which works, rather than reinforce bad advice?

I love this video. I've come across this video while searching for 'snide remarks coworker'. I have a coworker who believes he is better than anyone else. I don't often have run ins with him, but he often makes comments about other teachers either to their face / behind their backs. When one new supervisor recently started in our company, the guy who often makes snide comments told me '' I wanna see him fail. I want to watch is happen''. Sometimes I wanna tell him to quit making such comments when he talks about others. I've shut him down before when he tried it with me. But it bugs me that he still does it with others. I suspect he is deeply insecure, as confidence doesn't sound like the way he is speaking... if he were confident, he would be praising others and helping them to become better. Thanka sgain for this video. I like the simple phrases that you set out to disarm such snide comments.

Looking good.

I also completely understand what you are saying. Both point of views have there points.

I don’t agree with anything you are saying sorry. It’s not the employees problem to take care of this. An employee shouldn’t be lying PERIOD. The other employee is NOT part of the problem that a employee is lying, which they should not be lying. The boss needs to handle that they are lying

I almost feel traumatized and want to know why it happens everywhere

Tammy I love this for you and her. The pier if the ripple effect !!

I ate my lunch in the bathroom the other day. My bully in the lunchroom. I walked in, saw her and walked out. I just couldn’t have one more interaction with her that day. She’s a passive aggressive nightmare with narcissistic tendencies. I’m no pushover. I will defend myself - but why should I? I just want to do my days work and go home. This woman lives rent free in my brain. I HATE it!! Thank you for this presentation. I’m going to rethink my reactions and see if I can find some peace in myself because I’m not going anywhere and neither is she. The owner loves her (why???). She keeps threatening to quit or retire. I swear I will do a happy dance if either happens 💕 The funny thing is: I like her. It’s her behaviour I can’t stand, if that makes sense.

well said. thank you. this is absolutely true. the problem will continue to form in your life unless you truly learn

thank u

😢

I was advised to "grow thicker skin" aka "stop being so sensitive to what is happening to you."

I just left a hostile work environment. I feel very lucky to be able to leave. I couldn't leave before and used to watch other people I had made friends with, leave because of the bullying and gossip. I had put up with it for years and it just got so bad that it affected both my mental and physical health. My doctor also prescribed medicine, but like you said, it doesn't solve the problem. Each time a bully finally retired, they would make sure they'd pass the torch to someone else and it would just continue. It included mobbing as well as gaslighting perpetuated through gossip and rumors. I even have some of it in writing! I didn't want to get anyone in trouble, because I knew it would just get worse. (It happened to one of my coworkers, who finally left as well.) I did finally get a therapist, which I highly recommend. He helped me through being able to leave without feeling like I gave up. Even when they found out that I was leaving, they still harassed me. If you can leave or be moved to another department, so so. It's just not worth staying and by leaving the aggressors, you're actually empowering yourself. Do I still think about the unnecessary unfairness that happened to me? You bet I do and you're right! It's going to take some time to heal. It might even take a long time to heal, but I will be ok. The best advice that I can add is that remember none of it is your fault. Victim blaming is always going to be there, but that doesn't mean it's right.

They just love him so much in front office that they would never think he is toxic or a bully at all ! But this guy I know has done it in the past to others he is just to toxic and enjoys it to much not to have !

I just don't know why he has it in for me ! And can't sleep at night because I have so sensitive feelings so bad , and never had someone go around and just get everyone to look at me like I'm trash , what can I do because this is the most humiliating thing I've ever gone thru in my life ?

Everywhere I have worked they have just loved me the way I work been that way all my life ,but this I'm going thru is a first to have a boss that just don't trust me , I'm the type of guy that catches someone stealing on a job site and I'm loyal to those places I work out , but they try so hard to make me look like someone I'm not !

I love my job but got a monster under my bed! My Boss he is just the rudest , uncaring , hater I have ever met !

Thank you so much for this insightful video! I really appreciate you sharing your perspective on the importance of interviewing candidates to ensure they are a good fit for the role and the company. It's easy to get caught up in just assessing a candidate's skills and experience, but you make a great point that the interview should be a two-way process. Evaluating whether the company and role are a good match for the candidate is just as crucial. Your advice has given me some helpful things to consider.

That scenario is straight up gaslighting!

Thank you! This video is so helpful ❤

Bullying does come from a lack of leadership. Managers would have you take crap then deal with it.

I'm being bullied at work and because I fight back and reported it, everyone else hates me now too so it's a no win, they all think they guy is amazing but yet because jealousy he bullies me, yet I'm the bad person lol

I got work mobbed today. I’m not eating with them, talking to them much, and figuring things out on my own unless it’s a burning question or they check in on me(since they acted so dismissive to me every time I asked for help as a newbie.) I am documenting all the times they picked on me, including a guy who is flirting and making me feel uncomfortable. I will be reporting g this to admin and will get an employment lawyer if it gets worse. If they try to work mob me again, I’m going to say, “Can we please talk about this private instead of with the whole team?” Or I will refuse to join them, or I’ll bring the healthiest admin to be in the room to rid of the intimidation tactics. Other than that I’m not investing in any of them. If I get fired oh well. Just because I’m young doesn’t mean you take advantage of me, and they need to learn that

Great conversation.

No thats not a true saying on no level

I brought up the issue, but that person was very good at playing politics and preteneded like i was sensative. He has BFs in the work place abd they pair and support each other. It is very difficult to stand for myself. This message feels hopeless. Not many cases can be sloved when you bring up. That is possible with normal people who is willing to listen to others.

If you're boss doesn't respect boundaries, your life will be miserable, either way

You are right. I was so messed up from the first time. It has happened again. It’s worse the second time

An evil baby is tormenting me at work!

Never tell. Make a plan to exit....as soon as you are able.

Who can be sure about what all might be going on outside of a workplace.

yes my boss says just ignore

i have tried everything and nothing has worked

i'm dealing with this right now at my job right now

I wish I found this video last year. I was dealing with these issues and ended up leaving my job. I spoke up to my manager who was doing the bullying but then she played victim and undermined me for about a year and placed me on a performance improvement plan with false accusations. During those 12 months, I started putting my energy into job searching and focusing on new goals. Now that I’m in a new company, I can’t help but think about what else I could’ve said or done to change things around. It really was a painful experience and you don’t get over the wounds and betrayal overnight.

this is brilliant

Content starts at 03:04

My triggers? I have tried everything, they're the ones that are triggered when they see me

Wow I am so at this point

Bullies are always empowered by management and a workplace can quickly become toxic when managers support negative behviour. I have found it's often bullying by management or bullying by mobbing where more than one employee gangs up against a single employee to force them to leave. I once worked for a company and was the only person in a small department who was over 50. My work colleagues were in their early twenties and they decided to mob me, making my life unbearable on a daily basis. When I spoke to my Manager, I was told to make more of an effort and try to socialise with them after work, dismissing my situation completely. In the end, I did leave for the sake of my mental health.

Sometimes it is better to leave, especially if one is on the verge of doing something they will regret.

That’s me

When you are chosen this advice dosent work. Its spiritual warfare.

None of these strategies work with toxic people.

Quitting is the only thing that works in my experience.

😂😂😂 I agree