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thank you for this information

Thank you so much for sharing this story of healing, compassion, growth, and courageously facing the very hard things. You are brave and resilient! 💜

At what point did I turn on myself in order to survive? I’m going to be chewing on that one for a while. I really appreciate that you are talking about self-contempt. I needed to hear your perspectives on the topic at this exact point in my own healing journey. Somehow the message I received along the way was changed from “love your neighbor as yourself” to “love your neighbor instead of yourself.” And also I think our entire culture has the wrong idea about what it means to love ourselves; which seems to have become synonymous with spoiling or pampering ourselves. To I Corinthians 13 love ourselves is to give grace while still holding ourselves accountable to a standard, which then becomes the issue. To what standard am I holding myself accountable? Or at least that is where my rumination on the subject led me. Thank you for thinking deeply, and thank you for sharing what you have learned along the way. 💜

This is an important concept to understand. Thank you for the discussion. 'Misattunement' is a very general term. After listening to a number of people discuss attunement, I have found that it helps to think of misattunement in terms of a spectrum. At the less pathological end of the spectrum, there may be the types of misattunement that are relatively innocent when a well-meaning parent says something like, "you'll be ok" to their anxious child on the first day of school, for example. On the more pathological end of the spectrum, there is the type of misattunement where a narcissist parent, for example, chronically treats a child as either a golden child or scapegoat. In this example, the parent may say something like, "do you always have to be so difficult?" At this level of pathological misattunement, the child internalises the parent's words and takes on the belief that they (the child) must be bad or flawed in some way.

I feel so much for fellow trauma survivors keep strong

I find this hard as I am.5 years almost into trauma therapy and many modalities and changing relationships. I feel such grief and just functioning is so hard. The depression and fear feels endless despite doing mindfulness, meditation, somatic dance, volunteering, singing, animal work. I hold onto hope just about. I understand and implement the validation but I have no children not will I have. Only my faith and the few that love me keep me going

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Love it!

Such a great episode! Thank you!

Wow, a lesson in how to say everything and nothing all at once

Great episode! Learning about the four attachment styles was very helpful, especially when thinking about my own children and how my wife and I are raising them 😊

Thank you for sharing your story with all of us.

I remember my 1st story group…..it was powerful

Healing requires vulnerability! It takes courage to show up and take off our protective armor and allow others to see the real us. There is risk and that feels scary.

Kandace's story about pranks - it was trauma to her young self.

Childish vs. Childlike: Unresolved childhood trauma keeps us stuck in our child states of when the trauma happened. When we are triggered, we will find ourselves feeling like a 5, 7, 9, 15 year old.

When parts of us fragment, it is our means of surviving.

We are excited to share Episode 7 with you today!

Welcome!!

Thank you for sharing your story.

Listening to what our body is telling us - begins to disrupt our old ways of coping.

Our desire to be seen and soothed is beautiful and glorious desire!

Episode 3 focused on the first two, being seen and being soothed

4 S's - See, Soothe, Safe, Secure

Welcome to Episode 4!

Thank you for this!

Acknowledging what happened back then....sometimes that is what I am feeling here, now, today.

Soothed!! Not sued. haha

Our young children, and our own little inner child, are so emotionally brilliant! They can read the setting and know their role at such young ages!

I love how Kandace's daughter is intentional about seeing her baby boy!

We come into the world looking for someone who is looking for us!! We were born with this beautiful desire to be seen.

Seen, Soothed, Safe, Secure! We needed this back then. We need this now!

Let us know where you are joining us from!

Welcome to Episode 3! Please join the chat if you have any thoughts, comments or questions!

Thanks for the podcast! I can't wait to keep listening.

Grateful for this. Thank you!