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Hi, In my experience court's often don't spot this dynamic.It appears to be a area of critical thinking consideration that is missed in most judge's assessment. My gut feel it is sometimes present in some cases as as dynamic though but I've never heard it verbalised. I have heard one Woman Judge express she "knew the script". IMHO Lawyer's (judges,barristers and solicitors) know what the script is (as it is a creation from the belief system they have been accepted into).I don't see evidence that many cafcass social workers have the skills or independent professional insight to question the script that they are trained to follow

Hi, Please call me on 07906 956035 for a free 15 minute consultation

If you call me on 07906 956035 I can provide a 15 minute call free of charge and let you know how I could help further

If you call me on 07906 956035 I can provide a 15 minute call free of charge and let you know how I could help further

Sorry to hear how it rolled out in your case. Some people within the court system would appear to have a clear gender bias and some not.Family courts can be a tough journey if your encounter such bias.I send your family my thoughts of strength and hope that in the long term the situation improves significantly.keep strong!

Sorry to hear about your experience in family courts

Sorry to hear of your experience of family courts.I've been alongside father's facing challenging situations and it can be really tough to go through so I send you my thoughts of love and strength. I'm a realist in that I know that often there is one parent in the dispute who thinks family courts got it wrong and that will be their truth.Personally I am pro children having significant access to the love and guidance of both parents being present in their lives

Personally whilst I do not dispute your experience and pain, I don't think it is at all helpful to other parents for you to suggest they get into holding a negative viewpoint of cafcass and the family court system because of your experience.I've helped many fathers achieve positive outcomes and some have journeyed through difficult cafcass interviews

@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher I thank you for taking the time to respond. CAFCAS contributed to my 'pain' and 'anger' immeasurably. They smile to your face and then attack you in the paperwork. I think it's important that people understand the two-faced nature of this system.

thanks for commenting.I know many mothers and fathers hold similar views to yourself and also that many that don't and are very thankful for the positive outcomes ordered by family courts too when contact has been denied and opposed. When there high conflict disputes between parents it can be complex for social workers and court to decide if a child should have both parents present in their lives.Both parents created their children and brought them into the world and are responsible for their upbringing.Hope you and your children are in a better place now

If your a father facing false allegations it is a tricky situation to assess as to what to do, say to cafcass etc . Many fathers have also faced unhealthy relationship dynamics with the mother of their child and assessing how to state your own experience to cafcass is a vital part of working to achieve positive outcomes if you are a father denied access

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher i haven’t seen my son since 01/01/24 and my sons mum blocked my numbers and has refused any access and I put in a CAO on 29th feb the day after my sons 6th birthday,I have had my first hearing and my sons mum said I did drugs, cafcass accused me of doing drugs they didn’t even ask me, the judge said because drugs accusations are made my next hearing is 15th October, I’ve had no contact with my son at all, I understand why dads hang from a tree now because this is cruel and it’s all because the mother of my son got pregnant by another man and wants to play happy families as him being the daddy. How TF can a judge agree to 10 months no contact 😔😔😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

to my knowledge cafcass has internal complaints procedures to engage with and you should email them to request changes to the report -list the details that they haven't recorded in their report-you could also highlight these points in a position statement to the court to note their omissions. you could also possibly complain to the Local Government & Social Care Ombudsman about the individual social worker (not sure if possible but worth contacting them).I'd advise the mort important aspect of reading a cafcass report is to focus on the recommendations section and to not be triggered by previous sections with "report" what the other parent has said (they may not be believed)

Complains so they can send him a word salad letter. Don't you think you've wasted enough of his time. Pretend to be a nice guy to his face then shut down contact with his kids. How much money is enough to do that ? As jobs go that sounds like the pits. ​@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher

Your 100% right. These are hostiles they are not here to help you.

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher how do you request for cafcass report to read ?

Sorry to hear that.Matters should progress once this has happened.I have observed that civil courts will sit on the fence and not make a order unless a safeguarding letter is received as it is IMHO in effect a risk assessment

Your understating a level of incompetence which will cost you money and seeing your kids. 1. You should be angry. 2. You should consider legal action.

​@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcherdefending the indefensible.

Hi , you risk orders being made without you present that could have a impact on you and if you have children, they could be impacted too so worth considering attending to state your version of events. you could offer a undertaking instead of having a non-molestation order against you

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher hi Graham Thank you for your advice I found out today that I am still a tenant in the council house due to not being taken off, hence I think the reason for the order,but I will attend I think.

I feel for you BUT have to say I see many cases where such intentions from mothers are not successful and cafcass have helped fathers improve contact situations so it's not all just as you outline.Little help I know to you personally but the people who have these success stories in my opinion will not be all over social media celebrating as they will be working to maintain and develop positive changes that are often welcomed by a controlling or anxious ex-partner

People are hidden by the media, police, social workers, cafcass, and judges simply because these people are dead. A father who commits suicide because he can not survive anymore and live with the pain of non being able to see again his child, it's not right. A report I read, cafcass and cms were aware of the father distress, and nothing has been done. What about the police? When they found the bodies of these farhers, did they close the case with a simple "suicide" or they investigated the reason and why this father decoded to take is life? Hmm let me guess, no time to spend on a suicide, right? But, cafcass and the family law system has a lot of time to try to portrait a father guilty, right? Not sure you read the top comments in your post, but all we are saying the same, cafcass and social services are biased against fathers. Where did you see many cases where cafcass helped the father? I believe the mother was an alcoholic, drug user, and neglect her child. These are the only reasons when cafcass help fathers. However, cafcass shouldn't help fathers and mothers, but the child, I'm afraid, but the social worker and the family court advisors are not even children psychologists. Do you want to tell me that in 40 minutes of conversation with the father, are able to tell if in the previous relationship he was abusive toward the ex partner? We are far away from reality and fairness.

I reply from a experience base of helping many fathers , not just one personal case.I'm not saying these very painful cases you mention don't happen.they do and are tragic BUT many positives do.My 150+ reviews prove that reality

Hi, In my honest experience,you have incorrect expectation of a McKenzie Friend. A McKenzie Friend attends a hearing to support a litigant in person to conduct their own case, provide emotional support, takes notes, assist with out of court negotiations.There is no remit to advise on suing people or organisations.so i give a pointers in what i think could be a helpful the right direction.To my knowledge if a complaint dismissed you could take it up wth social worker ombudsman

I'm not legally trained but i'd observe from my 10 years court experience it's all in the detail. criminal prosecution pathway is one separate dimension to a non-molestation civil court application.just because "no further action" with police does not mean a allegation won't be explored within fact findings and fact found potentially on the "balance of probability".often non mols can therefore be one person's written and verbal word against the others.evidence obviously helps. difficult set of decisions for the respondent to strategically respond to.i'd observe sometimes the people making the allegations are very good at doing exactly what they accuse the respondent of. Hope this answers your question. non-molestation order Criteria needs to be met and IMHO often lawyers and agencies know the template /script to submit to achieve at least a temporary order

I have no experience in sueing courts or people so can't really answer that . cafcass should have a formal complaints procedure you could engage in and if not satisfied the staff are social worker trained.i understand there is a ombudsman for complaining about social workers as well as there is for family lawyers.you could also write to your MP ?

a few options. 1. propose one prior in your position statement 2. counter propose cross-undertakings (both parents making same promises).courts tend to have template undertakings they use within a hearing.if allegations of domestic abuse i have heard lawyers say undertakings can't be accepted

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher cheers for the reply. I basically did everything I asked about. Sent it to the court and other party's solicitor all before the first hearing. I will be a LiP so if I've fouled with any of the procedure I'm sure I'll be advised correctly.

When you receive the court papers you are asked to attend. Either the judge will ask you 1 no admissions no findings 2. Undertaking 3. Trial If you are not represented the applicants solicitor will ask you the the three above appoints. Regarding point 2 if your not represented the applicants solicitor will tell you that they wouldn’t even tell their own clients to accept and undertaking. So don’t accept point 2 no matter what stand your ground like what I did.

How to proceed if a non molestation undertaking has been breached? There is a police statement to go with proof of the breaching of the undertaking.

Please call me on 07906 956035 to discuss in private

Hi, thanks for commenting. the case is called K and K [2022] EWCA Civ 468.I'll be doing a short video on it soon, as it is very interesting development. Here is a link on a site that publishes case law, If you'd like to have a 15 min chat to discuss your case please call me on 07906 956035 www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWCA/Civ/2022/468.html

@Aaaa-iq9ci Could you call me on 07906 956035 as their was a positive dimension to your case that was unique that if shared could help someone else with a similar issue. Seem to have lost your contact number. Regards Graham

I often become involved in pre-court discussions with male and female Cafcass family court advisors and there is a spectrum experiences to be had by parents in such proceedings, but I guess that is reflective of many different perspectives and experiences of being a man or woman.I've met a few male Cafcass family court officers in cases at court hearings.One in particular was highly impressive in his knowledge around parental alienation and child focussed. You make a potentially interesting point on staff ratios and divorce but IMHO it not a given that anyone being divorced would carry it forward as a negative.Sorry to hear you feel the person you had assessing your case was biased.Often it seems like certain staff just lean to a follow a formula approach and in such cases you can have your work cut out to impress them otherwise.If I can do anything to help at this stage give me a call to discuss.Fingers crossed something positive will unfold in good time.thanks for commenting and sharing your experience

thanks for sharing your thoughts.I don't think it is as simple as a child needs mother only and some fathers can meet their child's needs very well and so to my mind why would a child not benefit from hopefully 2 emotionally secure parents (often 1 or both are anxious towards parenting or seeking to remedy their own childhood issues).each child and family dynamics are very different so for me it makes generalities such as you propose difficult to simply justify.each parent could have a number of positive or negative associations with their own parenting (or a mix of associations) and often not fully aware of how deeply they influence there parenting of their new child.it is a complex situation to make your best attempts to adapt to and likely you'll never get it "right" and new dimensions will unfold as we are complex

Hi, Thanks for commenting.I guess that working in that field you see people with depression, suicide, drug and alcohol abuse not from separated families as well? I know from a full working life working as a playworker, youth worker and McKenzie Friend that many families have many dimensions present (often subtle and hidden) that can impact on a child's/adults development. I guess you also won't see people from the families where it has worked and are potentially only seeing what you perceive as the problem end of things as that is your client base. I'd offer up it's very difficult in this digital age to find people saying negatives to potentially counterbalance your perception.IMHO the families who live the positive's will be maintaining and nurturing those positive dynamics and not shouting about it on the internet.

sounds a terrible experience your going through.the way lawyers speak at such hearing can make you feel there is little choice but there is.You perhaps didn't know but you can contest non-mols. likewise you can contest cafcass 's recommendations as well and challenge them at a final hearing

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience but I see many very positive outcomes for Fathers who were initially denied contact.It's not a perfect system and can feel high charged when going through it. Sometimes it doesn't go well at all for some parents so I send you my thought's if this is what happened in you situation.Regards and best wishes sent Graham

I just don't get how these people just let women just fabricate completely made up cases and never prove anything and get to kidnap our offspring and leave them with narcissistic abusers

So sorry to hear of your current situation, not uncommon.In such case you have to "contest" the report, ask for a "contested" hearing (where the judge order's a outcome on the parents (rather than trying to facilitate a consensual agreement at a dispute resolution appointment), cross examine cafcass on the witness stand and hope a judge will see your child centred argument. You can make a formal complaint to cafcass and the social worker ombudsman on them and their individual practice.if you'd like to chat through options call me on 07906 956035

i'd observe they often "report" what a parent has said.If easily emotionally triggered it could read like they are siding with the "alleged" facts. so if this happens to you, you may have needed to "contest" the letter/report and make your case further at a contested hearing (as per my other reply to @abidriaz9051

Sorry to hear about your situation, which does sound of concern

Many thanks for your positive feedback

Thanks for commenting and sorry to hear that is how your experienced it.In my experience there was always be one parent in a family court dispute that feels as you do about family courts.it's not a perfect system but then neither are people but I can assure you many positive cases do exist . I hope for you that at some point in the future some positive change in what happened at court unfolds for you and your family. Keep strong !

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcherthanks for positive message. But I no longer feel positive about anything. I don't believe you when you say positive cases exist. They cannot make that claim because they do no quality of outcomes study's or after care plans. They are not interested in outcomes just the money they can generate. The small percentage of satisfactory outcomes do not in any way justify the huge amount of damage caused. The small number of cases you regard as successful were probably the parents who could have resolved things without court involvement. Only used the court because it exists. I miss read your first post so had to amend comment. We will look back and compare family courts to the witch trials of the dark ages. It's morally bankrupt.

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher How many men have you seen get spurious orders placed by the police ? How many false accusations? The ends don't justify the means.

Hi Paul, like I said so sorry to hear how your case unfolded. I think culturally it's such a shame that many people step into a blame game energy about a ex-partner when a relationship ends In 10 years of McKenzie Friend work I have helped people who ended up with negative outcomes, some of which landed heavy on the heart BUT I have been part of helping both Mother's and father's in a large number of successful cases that couldn't be resolved outside court. My viewpoints are based on my personal and my clients genuine experience I offer (my 150+ reviews online evidence this claim) but ultimately that may be little comfort to you. I personally don't approve of the system as set up by lawyers to amplify conflict and benefit from it so I recognise how it feels for you. I do what I can to help people navigate the often tricky routes through court, a big part of that is helping people negotiate or position against the strategies lawyers use

Not too many TBH. I can't comment much on order's made by the police based on my experience.I often hear of allegations made and "no further action " then the matter gets re-examined in family courts in fact finding hearings, where it's primarily one person's word against another and the judge makes a judgement on who's version of truth they believe. Very few separated families come out unscathed

Hi.In my lived experience (personally and observing the outcomes of people I help, mainly fathers)I don't agree.I'd say the "system" is biased against men. BUT that doesnt mean you can't achieve positive outcomes as a man, it just means you have more of a challenge to address the imbalance. I'd agree on marriage, many people don't know they are entering into a legal contract/ relationship when doing so

Hi Paul,So sorry to hear of your story , which is not uncommon. If i can help at this stage then please text me on 07906 956035 to arrange a free 15 min consultation or visit my website www.mckenziefrienduk.com for further info.

Hi, please text me on 07906 956035 to arrange a free 15 min consultation or visit my website www.mckenziefrienduk.com for further info.Look forward to helping you

Hi, Yes, It's not uncommon in my experience to update the court on your position on the day

Hi, that sounds alarming and I do hear the odd horror stories.Not sure what approaches you could do to attempt to remedy I'm afraid.Appeal's can be tricky and difficult to get success with in my experience but if some of the process is at fault then a appeal could bear fruit.I think quite a lot goes on behind the scene's with bar association connections

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher yes I had a barrister at stage of first hearing,she had already "worked something out" with my son's disability SW, for pd12j ( I was victim) the SW told the judge she was aware of alegations of DV but nobody would be affected so judge kept son with mum, the SW never spoke to me about mums DV,she is under investigation for sex offences , she had also been unconscious leaving my son without meals n life needing meds SW covered up all sorts and they all put him back in danger , case is closed, he's with mum, they did nothing to protect him from her going unconscious again and he is with an sex offender who has not been assessed for risk, I even gave the SW a u.s.b with recording of mum attacking me , she refused to view for "technical reasons" she was also aware my ex had agreed "undertakings" not to harass me , yet when police was present at mums to interview mum, after they left, in the SW own words , she let mum know what "coercive" and "gas lighting" behaviour was and asked if I was like that n mum said yes so referred to dap , just imagine if that was the other way around and if a man had sexually assaulted a women and the SW went to the man after the police had left and encouraged him to say she "gas lighting" etc , btw my sons sister lives with me absolutely thriving 17 year old training to be engineer so no parenting issues my side

a terrible state of affairs by all accounts.i'd observe you could report the social worker to their investigating ombudsman if you have issues with their professional conduct or assessment skills

Sorry to hear how the cafcass staff member is being in your case- sounds very strange.Fingers crossed for you the Judge will see holes in their assessment, as i have seen judges go against them on occasion.

ah thanks very much - most appreciate your compliment :-D

Glad you like them!

Sorry to hear of your painful experience. There seems like little recourse available against people who conduct themselves in such a way.Keep your heart open that your children will wake up and make sure they know how to find you when they come looking.Great to hear you've found a positive new partner and hopefully love will find a way! thanks for sharing your story.Keep strong!

Sorry to read of your experience.I do hear of and see some terrible situations and bias against men from a system heavily weighted that way despite gov figures that show men are domestically abused as well.Rarely it seems are the motives of a parent making allegations examined for negative intention or impact on the family and the children

I do feel it is a lottery of sorts as I do encounter a significant amount of cases that don't go as you've described.I know that's of no help to you but may help others seeking to feel positive outcomes are possible

In my case Cafcass did exactly the same, and also said during the final hearing " I think the child could copy with this arrangement" every other weekend and on midweek overnight stay before my weekend, therefore it makes 9 days of no contact for no specific reason. The cafcass advisor is biased and, true when has been written, they manipulate the report and questioning the allegations of the father, instead they ask the father if true or false the allegation raised by the abusive mother.

Hi. Solicitors first commitment is to the bar , not their client.So it can often feel like a solicitor is going against a clients instructions because of this factor.Perhaps personal allegiances within the bar can be a strong influence behind the scenes on the actions of solicitors

same here, don't trust my solicitor at all.

I don't agree it always goes the way you describe at all as I have seen many different outcomes, different style sof judges and assessment outcomes but can understand your frustrations if it rolled like that in your case.

@@MckenzieFriendGrahamFletcher well, thanks for response and not just opting for cowardly censorship. literally hundreds of father's rights groups is a pretty large body of evidence that my experience was not unique. They never do quality of outcome studies. Or studies on how people feel about the process. Big problem is how the legals get paid. They changed it so you don't get legal aid unless you claim domestic violence. This saw an 80% spike in domestic violence claims. Suddenly the UK became the domestic violence capital of the world. They are either greedy or following the money making sure they get paid. Or they are thick as mince. I think there is good arguement for both. Both reasons are likely true.

I'd agree with most of your points but do see very positive work from cafcass as well as questionable shallow formulaic thinking at times so quite mixed.I feel the approach of creating conflict between parents has it's roots in the "legal profession" who turn arguments when relationships are coming to a end into domestic abuse.Often they don't ask if the mother is presenting challenging /controlling behaviour to the father as the relationship is under strain.The family court system has many imperfections and challenges to navigate for any parent.I try and focus on getting both parents to think of both short and long term conflict reduction strategies

Not sure-I don't encounter many cases where it's been successfully done so afraid I can't offer much insight on that issue

i know that feeling i submitted media evidence to court for recent case and the judge said we dont need to see that evidence..basically i feel that makes the trial unfair as its paramount to my defence... although i guess it leaves it open to an appeal as il have evidence that was not used in court so can submit it again for my reason for an appeal..

Refusing evidences in court is a judicial error and the appeal can be based on this ground.

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Hi. Thanks for commenting. Personally I think it's impossible to generalise and project on to other families your own preferences/values.For example: my children have grown up with 10 years of equal parenting and have gone on to be successful adults. Sometimes it has presented challenges but these were outweighed by positives of equal parental support and influence.I think many mother's automatically think as you prescribe but having been party to many family law cases that have evidenced it's not always the case that the child gets better parenting/emotionally balanced nurturing from their mother more so than their father so each case IMHO it is important to consider the individual family considerations

First of all we need to understand your comment by saying Children should predominantly live with mom's Already you are suggesting Father's are below Mothers and not capable full time parents From Dad with Full custody for his Child and by the way the study show Children in single father homes do better than Children in single mother homes🌟

@danbruno5945 i get your reaction to that comment, It's a tricky conversation as often many separated parents can become polarised and demonise the other parent or sometimes one parent has unresolved childhood parenting issues that impact on their parenting.Ideally i think a child needs the support ,love and influence of both parents as they grow up.it'll never be perfect.For me It shouldn't be a competition of man versus woman , both man and woman created the child so that fact of creation should be honoured and treasured

there are also mum's who parent in a way that promotes anxiety, worry and control when parenting so I do think it is too simplistic to say that just because the mother carried the child into the world that therefore stability in created by means of mother being the resident parent.IMHO both parents should have the capacity and strength to ensure stability is present for the child.IMHO Lots of very positive fathers in the world and a child needs to receive love, guidance and support from both parents

Rubbish comment