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You have wives who understand......many of us don't and we live in fear.

I had a relapse last night feeling like crap I hate this roller coaster 😫😣

You did a very good job and hearing this from a predominant straight guy is affirming

This is honestly THE BEST MESSAGE IVE HEARD ON THIS STUFF!!!! It’s said in live but it’s said !!!!! Thank you so so much!!!!! This needs to go to EVERY couple in need ❤🙌🙏🏻

This is incredible well done 💯👌🏽🎯

Remarkably detailed and honest. A lot of good-hearted men get pulled in. You've learned a lot in this business and thanks for sharing it.

Great video, very much appreciated. Sobering reminder that the vagus nerve is the same regardless of sex or trauma.

I've been longing to ask this question for quite a while. How do you tell the difference between unwanted sexual attractions and OCD?

Beautiful sermon Drew, God bless you

Love this episode!! what a blessing for me 👏👏👏

There is a difference between being bullied routinely as many men are when they are younger than the bully and being BULLIED that never ceases because you don't outgrow what makes you a target like being gay, different ethnicity or race, different religion, handicap, personality trait, etc. it's disingenuous for a lot of men to say they were bullied as if it meant anything compared to what others have gone through.

One of the best I've ever heard on this subject. Well done Drew! God worked through you powerfully . I visited Kush/Sudan last year.. beautiful place and people let's pray for them

I have quit porn a long time ago. But I have never told them about my struggles.

As a "person" lol who struggles with SSA, what I really like is how HM apply the same concepts many of us use to heal to people who don't have SSA. It provides amazing insight. I've learned from doing men's work with both men with SSA and straight men that it is amazing how they express their fears and hurts deeply and similarly--although in different directions. Similar wounds with straight men are extremely varied. CAUTION: I do caution that this video could be misleading in that i think it is flawed to think that SSA is the same as OSA just a different gender. And while men with SSA dont' have a monopoly on childhood wounds, initiation, or father wounds. Obviously many more men with SSA experience these and have a deep wound in their gender identity. And obviously being wounded and sexualizing the wound is another thing as well. (Think you guys recognize this but I just think the caution is necessary.) I liked the way Drew Boa brought up the nudity video. It seemed as if men with SSA were being a tad bit shamed on that topic. there is nothing wrong with reliving an experience. It is just that with everything there is a limitation and the solution is not always found in the way we think. Body image wounds may be healed in other affirmative ways--no need to just lament as if there is no other way to heal it. Sometimes we do need to just surrender. Nothing will fix our deepest wounds on this side of God's Kingdom.

I'm calling these guys out. What a stinking heap of hot garbage. It's the same tripe being served up by other 'Christian' predators who project their self-hatred onto other men. These aren't 'bad' men, but they're wounded men who try to take on other men's work because it's easier than doing their own. DON'T BUY INTO IT! In one way or another EVERY kid is bullied or preyed upon. Kids are ruthless and those who are the most insecure and shame ridden often lash out whenever they sense vulnerability in others. The guys who torment other guys do so to project their self-loathing outward. There were two notable mean bastards in my class at school who were known to 'hang out'. One day after school one of their football teammates stopped by for a visit. He walked inside through the unlocked door (oops) and found them barely in their underwear and all over each other. Big surprise. NOT! Well into my 60s now I've heard more than a few similar stories. To these 'Husband Material' guys; there's nothing wrong with you! There's nothing wrong with US! There's nothing wrong with guys at any age letting off some steam and having some fun and bonding with other guys! It isn't 'gay'. It's just 'guy'! Consuming pornography is normal! Solo or buddy masturbation is normal and healthy! What isn't healthy is guilt tripping ourselves and others. Can we just get over ourselves and move on? We have critical work to do right now (like defending our democracy).

I love you Drew Boa. What an amazing message. You are an amazing placeholder for so many men seeking healing and freedom from sexual brokenness, because although you truly sit with/walk with/run up beside them, you always make it about Jesus!

This was excellent, well put together, and encouraging. Thank you!

This was so good Drew. Praise the Lord.

LOVE this sermon! For all who are eunuchs, Jesus sees you and acknowledges your presence, and your struggle. Matthew 19:11-12

🥹🥹🥹 Sooooo good!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

Such a great sermon, D! 26:20 "Some of you know what it's like when the place you hoped would heal you only deepens your shame." Sadly, the ex-gay movement was that place for many SSA guys.

Very powerful message, Drew

👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

Been feeling the urge for 2 weeks but have not pursued. It's tough, but trying to refrain from finishing. Appreciate the topic.

What an Awesome conversation! ❤❤

I want to open up to an elder at my church about my ssa struggles but I’m honestly really nervous. I really have no idea how he’ll react. I have a feeling he would be graceful and maybe understanding but you just never know. This has never been talked about in my church so that’s why I’m apprehensive. I even have intrusive thoughts about them reviewing my role since i run a department which heavily involves brothers at church. I’ve done nothing wrong but the enemy really plants these thoughts which stop me from taking the courage to do it.

Being single sucks. Church should be one place singleness is presented as a good option (not something rare) and where the needs single people have are taken seriously and met in community. Yet (in my experience) the church is stuck praising marriage and viewing it as the 'natural' solution for everyone and doesn't know what what to do with single people or have any clue what they need in community. I think this is reason there are so few singles in church is many have fallen-away - churches are often set up only for married folk and families.

I just being honest. After viewing this ( not bad per se ) I get lurid images of a sexual scene. I wonder if Satan is playing with my mind, or is this episode just a bit “ too wise to evil “ Romans 16:19. “For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I rejoice therefore over you: but I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple unto that which is evil” Also my TH-cam aligorithm is messed up…sexual worldly stuff pops up.. Your comments !

I've enjoyed listening to this series and this one bringing the first two together. The brokenness of ssa can feel both different and worse than what I assumed osa guys deal with, conversations like this help dispel those wrong assumptions which have their own way of breaking you. There is one way y'all are the same tho, bookshelves. Henry and Jordan have the most books, Jason's partial shelves just have stuff, and Drew is awesome in front of empty shelves which in these kinda intuitive discussions may make him the smartest guy here. :) Good talk guys!

Well what the heck. No comments yet. Let’s see how they response. I’m getting to a point where I can accept my body sexually, you guys help me because you are vulnerable. Yes, I have sexual desires, it’s okay to have them…

You guys are delusional and its sad. Some people are in fact gay and bisexual and this deep denial is fine for you if thats what you really want, but spreading this stuff is straight up harmful.

I really wish people would create content on helping men heal from this form of trauma without including RELIGION in it at all, to heal from this or any type of trauma you need to see a qualified MFT as they are trained to help men face their trauma and actually HEAL from it. Because, this type of trauma the patient IS a victim. This is a perfect example of why RELIGION needs to STAY IN IT'S OWN LANE, and keep handing out the horrible tripe that they have been using for centuries, that HAS CAUSED MORE TRAUMA THAN ANYOTHER PERSON OR ENTITY SINCE IT WAS FIRST CREATED TO CINTROL THE MASSES!!!

Sex addiction counseling of any kind is risky. As as much as it may feel like the treatments used in working with addiction meet the needs of someone who's sexual interests and activities are presenting obstacles to their engaging in the life of their community in a way that they feel good about the fact of the matter is that sex and sexuality are not foreign substances nor are they simply behaviors that one is using to evade negative psychological states. When it comes to sex you are talking about a drive that is tied in to parts of the brain that control things like hunger breathing thirst heart rate and breath. If in treating addiction to alcohol for example you mistakenly somehow where starting to council someone to avoid drinking altogether. They could meet their needs for fluids other ways but not easily or in a way that is likely to address feelings of thirst thus saddling them with a new obsession that further frustrates the host of issues that likely gave rise to the initial addiction

sadly, scripture says he will bless who he will bless, and curse who he will curses....we are cursed

brave guy for saying that shit

#7: When I came out as gay publicly, I talked to my pastor about a few things. At the time I was on the church worship team and loved every minute of it. However, I had to choose between embracing my lifestyle as openly gay, or joining in the praise. It was somehow not possible to combine both. Not according to my pastor. So after that I was a little disappointed in the church and have chosen not to be involved in any context. Thanks for a good video. /David

💜💜💜

I have come to believe that as Christians were made PURE by the blood of Christ. It’s a matter of whether or not you believe that this new found purity extends to your sexuality.

Oh man have I felt doomed and hopeless so many times. Still wondering if I am.

Wow you did an amazing job talking about this for someone who never actually watched gay porn. I sincerely mean that. Like how do you understand it better than I do?

I'm pretty sure i was exposed to porn around 20 yo. Gay porn in my 40s

I've always had a slight suspicion that purity culture helped push me to be attracted to men. Now that you said it I'm more convinced than ever.

“Experience”.. are we talking about noticing someone and feeling drawn/pulled in ? Feeling aroused? Feeling a sense of closeness.. this video is really good. Because in a sense there’s nothing wrong with noticing a man and feeling pulled in the becoming a friend or a guy catching your interest and you wanting to be buddy’s with that person.. is more a sexual experience urge towards that person when they notice someone? What’s the “experience “

Dam Slopposites ,

There is a huge part missing from this. You have to iterate that there are lots of people who can only be attracted to people of the same sex and be gay and never think of opposite sex attraction and that’s completely ok. You are mostly discussing sexual attraction to the same sex as an issue that shouldn’t be frowned upon but as long as the person is in “recovery” from it. But it doesn’t always need to be recovered from when people are gay. Also sex isn’t a purveyor of sexuality yes that is true but the real reason that people are afraid of ssa in churches is because the Catholic Church is HOMOPHOBIC. End of story. There may be people who are addicted to sex but gender attraction is separate to that. Also who cares if a gay man IS effeminate? Femininity is incredible so stop being concerned if someone tells you you aren’t a man’s man or that you might be a bit femme. Feeling shame in that is the real problem. Listen you guys are deeply entrenched in your beliefs so much that you have forgotten that sometimes people are just gay or just bi. It doesn’t have to be part of an addiction to porn or attached to any trauma. It’s just who they are and it is nothing to be concerned with.

So many truth points brought up, thank you. Nonetheless, i blame homophbia on straight people and religion. Same sex desire is noble and good and should be esteemed, but not in a decadent or lascivious lifestyle. That is destructive. Bisexuality is very normal.

Two clueless, and sometimes nervous, straight guys tried hard to be acceptable/righteous (oh, the irony of that) of something completely foreign to them. I don't understand what their point is? Their knowledge/analysis and views about gay men are superficial and belong to housewives talking/gossiping with a cup of coffee in hand. Shame. DNF

Hi brother where can we find a video you proclaim the gospel to fight against porn addiction?

Homosexuality and bisexuality is via epigenetics not genetics aka a birth defect. It happens in the first trimester when the mother is under undue amounts of stress releasing and uneven amount of hormones into the womb . I was part of the brain scan study and it is now conclusive

I am not aware of my gaydar failing much or even at all. However if you only look for supposed femininity, that’s just very superficial.