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Thank you! these videos are fantastic!

My first video I see from you and I really like it. 👍I've just realised that the stuff you're talking about in this video are things I've been trying to incorporate when I'm having conversations. It was nice hearing it in well thought out words and clearly talked about in different scenarios, and seeing what makes what effective. I was just really pleasantly surprised to know other people try these stuff too and that there are names for it. A random thing I also noticed is, as a neurodivergent person talking to a neurotypical person, I feel like I struggle more with them being the one with the black and white thinking and having strong justice getting clouded in emotions. Which was pretty interesting to think about and kind of surprising to hear. But i shouldn't really be that surprised since I don't really fit in anywhere anyway.

I hate to say it I don't think neurotypical exists! For example if a child is loud it's a problem, if a child is quiet it's still a problem. Why can't we all be humans again. We all have different personalities with opinions with likes and dislikes. Alot of people think I'm autistic because I love music and play the piano without reading the music plus I'm quite shy with people.

Great video, watching this made me really curious about the book. Incidentally, just a few hours before watching your video, I had had two “difficult” conversations and it was very interesting to analyze these conversations based on the concepts that you presented. This way, I was actually able to identify points where I or the other person in the conversation employed one of the techniques presented in the video, but I was also able to identify points where I could have done better, and watching the video actually made me understand why and how I could have done better, so I will definitely try this the next time I have such a conversation. Regarding the CBT controversy, it is my understanding that the problem is not CBT itself, but how it can be dangerous when it used for the wrong goals. One of the concepts behind CBT is that cognitive distortions can be the cause cause of various psychological disorders (in particular anxiety disorders). When it comes to neurodivergent people, the problem is that what an outsider might see as a cognitive distortion might actually be a result of our differences in sensory processing and thinking styles. So, for a neurodivergent person, it is critical to have a therapist that is not only well-versed in CBT, but also has a good understanding about our neurological differences. Otherwise, there is a danger that CBT is not only used to help us with cognitive distortions, but it is employed to “fix” things that are actually part of how our brains work, and obviously this is a recipe for disaster. In the context of conversations, I think that it can be helpful to reflect on one’s perceptions and associated emtions and ask oneself where these might originate and whether they are actually caused by the conversation or something else. One just shouldn’t make the mistake of assuming that one’s own emotions are “wrong” or unjustified. Unfortunately, due to our experiences of living in a neurotypical world, I think that this is excatly what we are doing way too often.

That’s brilliant. I needed to hear this :) my mom praised my resiliency and drive the other day, and I said « well, there isn’t any other way is there ? You get back up and start again » and it felt so obvious and right to me. Thanks ADHD, I guess ?

No one believes me about how much I am struggling or that it's because I'm logistically and practically exhausted because of years of masking and overfunctioning without adequate appropriate and safe support, NOT because I'm mentally ill. People are gaslighting me about the seriousness of my struggle and then gaslighting me about its cause.

Thank you so much. Sending love ❤

We also lose good leaders because corporate metrics “weed out” neurodivergent leaders because resources are withheld to help the square pegs fight into round holes.

I feel the same way! Thank you for putting it into words.

In my experience I probably wouldn't have been a very good specialized musician at all - it'd be waaay more likely that I'd just drop the thing if I kept at only one

Yes. Sounds familiar.

❤

1,000,000 percent me.

Good for him?

Love to see the origami folding ❤❤❤

So good to see your keeping up your new origami habit 💚☺️

Good point

❤️

So glad you enjoyed it!

❤

Im nourospicy

That’s a very intersting point. I just added the article to my (already way too long) list of papers I would like to read. The thought has actually crossed my mind before: After figuring out that I was autistic, I realized that when I had applied for professional pilot training at a major airline, the tests used as part of the application process were pretty much designed to filter out neurodivergent people. They did not use the Big-5, but rather used a combination of one-and-one role with a psychologist and group work by the applicants that was observed by the psychologist. They explained that they only wanted to hire people that were “a good fit” to the pilots they already had, and considering how important good communication is in the cockpit, I actually agree with this point. At the same time, it is problematic when a minority group is basically denied access to certain jobs, just on the basis that they do not fit with the people already doing the job. More recently, this topic came up for me again when I thought about whether I should hire someone for my business. For obvious reasons, I would prefer to work with someone who has a communication style that is similar to mine, but would it be ethical to not hire a person just because they are neurotypical?

thank you so much for this video! this topic is not talked about enough!

"Generally confused by the idea of relaxation". - HA, I feel this. ❤😂 What a wonderful retreat it was. Despite the crawling creatures. 😅 Thank you for the great summary.

Very interesting videos , keep up the good work

Uhhhh, interesting topic! I have been wondering about this a lot and came to similar conclusions 😊❤

Wow 😳

It's not personal. Its just the findings from their study. Thats unless you were a part of their study.

Let me get my cal-que-lee-8-tor so I can cal-que-lee-8

....and here YOU are....

This is why my metabolism sucks, because I get distracted by things through the day and don't think about it, then when I notice I'm STARVING so I overeat because I've accidentally skipped meals. Same with videogames and sleep. Don't realize I'm tired until I decide to stop or if my body starts shutting down and fall asleep eventually.

So true

And personally for me when I get over-hungry there’s barley anything I’ll eat

wow this is very informative... thanks

5:27 I like how you started talking something completely different to the topic and started smiling. I do the same..😅

Hi dear, I actually didn’t got the change to diagonised myself for ADHD, but I m pretty sure I have it. And now I can confirm I got ADHD because while I was watching your clip I could figured out you used some of your previous video clips here 😂. And OMG I was half way bored while writing this text.

true!

Another awesome video 😍

Great content.... Definitely putting it on my status. 🎉

the fuck you talking about

Unfortunately, our society is BUILT on things that ADHD sufferers are bad at. Focussing on the things I am good at would leave me homeless and without a job.

It's like sexism, but is different thinking not gender, we are made to think we are less than others

Nice video! Whoever reading this still thinking that all she said is nonsense, you're on the first step towards understanding what she's saying and why; please don't stop there, or you'll perpetuate the problem that she's talking about 👍

Everyone grows up in a world not made for us

Oh shut up

I think cat behavior shows this very well. My cats switch attention so fast it makes them appear chaotic, but 9 times of 10 it is this behavior that allows them to catch insects, which they love to eat. Have a good day!

Hey! I’m struggling, haven’t been diagnosed. Curious to know what things adhd has made difficult for you.

Amazing, thank you for sharing

ADHD leads to earlier sexual activity and a higher incidence of pre-marital pregnancies allowing the genes to pass on despite any potential reductions in life expectancy of the individual with ADHD. I do not buy into the evolutionary advantage beyond transmission of genes. There are too many deficits, even for foraging (e.g., missing food options due to distractions or hyperfixation on other things and moving on too quickly).

Don't hate me for saying this But When i looked at u I thought mr bean 😶