Alright, folks, after this I’m heading back to Apache training-where at least the gameplay has an audience. 😅 Let’s be honest-Warframe isn’t exactly blowing up the views here, but hey, we’re here for the laughs, right? And yes, I turned off the in-game music. After so many hours, it’s like hearing Short Change Hero on the Borderlands 2 main menu-over and over, eh? 🎶
Mission 1: Mirror Defense
Objective? Stop enemies from breaking mirrors! While Arbitrary was out here smashing records (and the opposition), I was out here trying to smash stereotypes. Sorry, not sorry, but we can fight with more than just hockey sticks and politeness! Meanwhile, secret squirrel was plotting his next snack grab, and let’s just say if he was any stealthier, he’d be invisible, eh? 🍁
Mission 2: Disruption
Engorged Gruzzlings, explosions everywhere, and Thatguyprime21 swinging like it’s the Stanley Cup finals! Just as I was about to start apologizing to our enemies, he went full lumberjack, proving all you need is a melee weapon and the true north’s courage. The secret squirrel popped back up, probably looking for a stash of Tim Hortons this time. By the end, the only disruption was us laughing all the way to the loot.
Mission 3: Survival
Here’s where the poutine hit the fan. SkiddyBike81273 was out there taking hits like a true Canuck on the ice, while Arbitrary was dishing out destruction with precision only rivaled by a maple syrup pour. I… well, let’s just say I looked very ‘in command’ from my safe spot, eh? And the secret squirrel? Last we saw, he was busy hoarding ketchup chips and maple syrup somewhere in the background. 🍁🐿️
🔥 Mission Complete! Survival mode got spicy, and we all came out (mostly) unscathed… mostly. Check out the stats, but beware: it’s more comedy than carnage.
👻 foxhole99:
Damage Dealt: 3% (Just out here for moral support and pizza runs 🍕).
Damage Taken: 8% (Clearly had the best seat in the house).
Total Kills: 30 (You mean assists? 😂).
Headshots: 3 (Accidental accuracy is still accuracy, right?).
Upgrades Received: 1 (Because, you know, we only need one).
💀 Arbitrary:
Damage Dealt: 75% (This guy's practically a one-man army).
Damage Taken: 0% (Ducking and weaving like he’s Neo in the Matrix).
Total Kills: 389 (Are we sure he didn’t bring backup bots?).
Abilities Used: 49 (He might as well have written the manual on carnage 📖).
🔥 Thatguyprime21:
Damage Dealt: 16% (The quiet assassin).
Damage Taken: 48% (Hey, someone’s gotta take the hits).
Melee Kills: 64 (Hand-to-hand like a champ - who needs guns?).
Fire Accuracy: 168% (Wait… how do you even get that? 😂).
❄️ SkiddyBike81273:
Damage Dealt: 5% (Team spirit all the way).
Damage Taken: 44% (MVP - Most Vulnerable Player).
Total Kills: 48 (Not bad for support!).
Melee Kills: 42 (Going medieval out here).
🎁 Rewards:
Credits, Endo, Archon Shards, and a Necracoil - we got loot for days!
Elite Archimedean completed! Time to slap that into our gear like it's going out of style. 🎉
Recap:
After the chaos, we came away with loot, a few good laughs, and maybe some bruised egos. Who else can say they survived Gruzzling attacks while representing the Great White North? And sure, not everyone can keep up with the headshot stats, but at least we know our hamburger gravy game is strong. 🍁
Remember, when life gives you missions, bring the chaos (and maybe a squirrel or two). Now, where’s the hamburger gravy? 🍔🍁 #CanadianSquadGoals #SecretSquirrelApproved #GreatWhiteNorthComedy
🍔 Recipe for Hamburger Gravy 🍔
Brown 1 lb of ground beef in a skillet over medium heat.
Add 1 small diced onion and cook until softened.
Stir in 2 tbsp flour, cook for a minute, then gradually add 2 cups beef broth.
Simmer until thickened, add salt, pepper, and a splash of Worcestershire.
Serve over fries, mashed potatoes, or if you’re feeling Canadian, poutine. Eh, enjoy! 🍁
00:00 Start
00:36 Mission 1
09:15 Mission 2
18:16 Mission 3
27:05 Builds