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Our families are the first version of the relationship we experience. We learn so much from that relationship and how we attach to others. Attachment begins in infancy and is alive throughout our lives. This is a big topic in the couples' work we provide. We have to understand where we've come from to understand where we are going and what areas need to be worked on to not repeat the unhealthy ...

While we strive to help couples navigate challenges and stay connected, we understand that not every relationship endures. When a relationship ends, it’s important to communicate clearly, understand your reasons, and focus on healing. Discover our tips on how to effectively end a relationship and embrace the healing process, including the concept of conscious uncoupling for a respectful and pos...

Rachel Elder is the owner and one of the couples therapists on the team at Connected Couples Counseling. She shares her journey into becoming a couples therapist, the couples she loves working with and her hopes for the work of couples therapy. If you are in Washington State and seeking couples therapy, you can schedule a free 20-minute consult with Rachel by emailing admin@connectedcouplescoun...

Trust is a necessity for a healthy and long-lasting relationship. How we gain, build and create trust is unique to each of our relationships. Trust is immediately given by some and earned for others. When trust is lost, broken or missing in a relationship, a couple will have to take actionable steps to create it. How to overcome trust issues in a relationship? The first step is to discuss and p...

A question we were asked recently is "Can you fall back in love?" And our answer is yes you can. To fall in love takes risk, vulnerability, time, and effort. To fall back in love requires the same, the difference is that there is often a history of hurt, distrust, and fear involved this time around. Falling back in love means you have to be willing to identify what has led you to fall out of lo...

We challenge you to 5 Days of taking action to build connection in your relationship. Here's the 5 Day Schedule: 1. Send a daily thought to your partner: 2. Write down 3 reasons you are grateful for your partner. Take it to the next level and share it with them 3. Sit down and schedule time together over the next few months. Schedule it in your calendar and prioritize your relationship. 4. Cook...

👶 Bringing Baby Home Class🗓 October 12th & 19th | 9 AM - 3 PM PST | VirtualJoin our comprehensive, research-based program designed to improve the quality of life for babies and children by strengthening their families. Over six Monday evening sessions, you and your partner will gain valuable knowledge and skills to navigate the transition to parenthood successfully. ❤️ 7 Principles for Making M...

Rachel shares her own experience with recently graduating from therapy. Here are our thoughts as a team on what happens next: 1. It is now up to you and your partner to explore how you will continue to implement the work you have done together. As your therapist team, we will explore what you need as you graduate and what you want to continue to work on and focus on. Our premise is that the wor...

Rachel Elder and Dionne Miller dialogue on what it is like to be married and be couples therapists. 0:00-2:00 Our similarities. 2:00-4:55 Dionne: What’s it like to be a couples therapist and being married? 4:55-7:00 What would you say is the one skill you consistently implemented to help your relationship? 7:00-8:30 Since becoming a couples therapist, what is a tool you’ve started to implement....

We received the question about identifying "what is a good age to start dating?" Dating starts in adolescence. The desire for others is built then so having the time to explore dating begins as early as middle school. Dating is also dependent on maturity-can your child activate maturity in ways of how they handle their emotions, and how they interact interpersonally with others? Each family mak...

Being in a relationship or dating someone with depression can be challenging. Challenging does not mean impossible though. To support your partner, start by learning about depression. Read some books, listen to podcasts, or speak with someone who has dealt with depression in their life. Be present with your partner. Be curious about what your partner is experiencing and going through. Focus on ...

One of the most important relationship skills we teach our couples is learning how to validate and empathize with your partner. When your partner comes to you with their thoughts, feelings, perspectives, experiences, and/or needs, the first step you take is to be an active and reflective listener. From there we guide you into validating and empathizing with your partner. Validation is expressin...

Why do many couples end up working with multiple therapists in their relationship history? I often hear it is because the therapist was not the right fit. My hot take is that it is not always because the therapist is not the right fit. I think it can be more often that the couple is not applying what they learn outside of the session OR they are not learning what they need to change their dynam...

It is 100% your decision whether you stay in a relationship or not; not your therapist's. If your therapist has said they think you should leave your partner, that is not their role. You have the right to bring this to your therapist and help them learn how they can best support your therapy work with them. You can put boundaries in your therapy work with your therapist. You can also decide whe...

Meet Dionne Miller and Rachel Elder-Connected Couples Counseling Therapists

The Emotion Iceberg

Change Takes Time

Two Common Conflicts: Money and Parenting Conflicts

What's your superpower in your relationship?

Creating a Relationship Vision

CCC Summer 2024 Updates

Marriages are meant to evolve and change.

Your Words Hold Power

The Power of Date Night

Rules of Conflict

The Imago Dialogue

Couples Therapist Thought: Is Healthy Separation Possible for Couples?

Couples Communication in Parenting Exploring 'Fair Play' and Parenting with Love and Logic

Thorny Topics in Relationships