My friend stepped on my headphones unbeknownst to me. I listened to Grouper for the first time and with the distorted sound of my jacked headphones the singer literally sounded like she was drowning. It was so beautiful, like nothing I had ever heard, a kind of gurgling singing. I found out later that day when I listened to my usual playlists that it was a serendipitous accident. I still find Grouper to be beautiful, but nothing will ever replace that first mistaken impression, hauntingingly breathtaking
Im only 17, but there’s a part of me that this song unlocks that seems older than myself, like the pain of a past life coming back to haunt me. Is it the melody? Her voice? All of it together? What it brings out of me is like nothing I’ve experienced. The feeling of being told to grow up around people that are ignorant to the thoughts in your head is a feeling I don’t think I’ll get over. Being alone with family around you sucks. I now know what those teenagers I saw when I was little felt. I now know why those teenagers cut and burn. It’s not sadness, It’s absolute emptiness. I wish I had the ability to turn off my feelings and walk through the next 2 years as a robot. The ability to feel nothing is a double edge sword. And that sharp, piercing sword feels… comforting. Like, the pain I cause myself on the outside parallels the pain I feel on the inside for a split second, and in that split second, I finally feel something else; Although, I don’t know what to call it. I now know what it feels to die without being slain. I know what it means to grow up now. I’ve been crying so much my head hurts. The tightrope between life and death feels more like a cliff with a wall. And with each day, I’m getting closer and closer to the top. Climbing is easy. The jump will be hard, but climbing down will be the hardest. I don’t think I wanna come down any time soon. Idk how long I’ll feel like this, but I hate not being able to kill myself. I hate being stuck alive. I don’t believe in god, but this feels like purgatory. I wish I could cease to exist, then at least I wouldn’t feel like this. I don’t want sorry ass pity comments, but do as you please. All I’m doin is saying the shit in my head in a place where it won’t matter. “Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow”, the longer I live, the more I see my tomorrow being nothing more than an endless loop of me figuring out that I’m empty night after night, and hiding it day after day. I can’t kill myself. But I can’t stay here. I guess I’ll just sit with this venom in me that grows and spreads as I do. And in the end, whether I’m alive or dead, I can see myself molding and creaking into a solemn, empty, and joyless poison tree. To anyone hearing my empty, pitiful ballad, let them fall unto deaf ears. Allow my screams to go unheard in a forest of fallen trees, because like myself, you can do nothing with a poisoned tree except look at it, or chop it down. I like feeling this way though. I like how I can’t tell people how I truly feel. I like the feeling of my skin next to a lighter. I like yearning for someone to randomly walk into the kitchen late at night and ask me what’s wrong. I like feeling fucking broken. I think throughout all of my life I realized why I couldn’t be indoctrinated into the lull of believing in a god. I like hell. I like pain. Happiness is the absence of pain. But there is not happiness without pain. There is no light without dark. There is no depiction of fulfillment, without the agony of emptiness. I never thought I would be a person that could be depressed. But the funniest people are usually the most fucked up. It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep. I want to die without having everyone mad at me. I FUCKING HATE EXISTING. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN. THE CRUELEST PUNISHMENT ANYONE HAS EVER BEEN GIVEN IS EXISTENCE. I’m not going to trick myself into believing that an invisible man in the sky is the cause of my suffering, because he would beg for my forgiveness if he existed. Ima go to sleep. Not like anyone could do a damn thing if I didn’t wake up.
hey you don't know me but i love you and i hope you know, life is worth it. it takes time, life's a slide, you climb all the way to the top for a little , but you cant stay up there. eventually you come down. and onto the ground, you may just wanna stay there. the lowest point of the slide. but being at the top and sliding down it was amazing, right? so lets get you back up and climb to the top again. just for you to slide down again , but you wanna be at the top again. its life man. you gotta get back up.
@@lylahhiuger Preesh homedawg. I was in a hole last night. I felt better when I woke up. These little nooks and crannies of the internet is where I like to stay. Cuz it’s the realest part of this virtual place. People like you stop people from killing themselves. You, to someone you will never meet, are a saint. Ima be like you, perusing these dark corners of the internet looking for hands to grab. Because of you I feel better. You have my gratitude. I hope your day is fuckin awesome dude
Comprendo de qué hablas... Sin duda alguna no hay escapatoria ni en vida, ni en muerte, la existencia de por sí es tan compleja y a su vez tan escasa de sentido, no hay un día que no piense en la muerte, en cada momento experimentado que quedará sepultado en recuerdos que poco a poco se desvanecen, el tiempo nos arrebata absolutamente todo, quizá jamás tengamos respuesta alguna a toda la inmensidad de preguntas que albergan nuestra mente. La existencia es tan inevitable como la muerte, esto es tan frustrante...
U said everything and nothing at the same time come back in1 0years and reflect on this comment. The trauma of life will only make u stronger each and every part of variable of life is what make you, YOU! The world is fucked up we all feel this way make the best out of every situation when it’s ur time to go it’s your time to go wether u choose which ever path u want to take it’s always certain… You’ll see success happiness trouble trial sand tribulations. Stay blessed and healthy, remember to pray to the one and only, who ever/ what u believe in. Maybe hell is earth now as we exist.. it’s always been…….
How he treats you is not what you’re worth, it’s what he’s worth. Love to see appreciation for the good boyfriends, never forget that they exist and settle for a loser!
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you It's strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you With you (This world is only gonna break your heart) What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you And I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you The world was on fire and no one could save me but you Strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you (with you) (This world is only gonna break your heart) No, I (this world is only gonna break your heart) (This world is only gonna break your heart) Nobody loves no one
Venho aqui mais do que gostaria.
Guess what? I'm so done.
My friend stepped on my headphones unbeknownst to me. I listened to Grouper for the first time and with the distorted sound of my jacked headphones the singer literally sounded like she was drowning. It was so beautiful, like nothing I had ever heard, a kind of gurgling singing. I found out later that day when I listened to my usual playlists that it was a serendipitous accident. I still find Grouper to be beautiful, but nothing will ever replace that first mistaken impression, hauntingingly breathtaking
Im 18 When I listen to this song I have my older self in my head.
this song has ruined me
Im only 17, but there’s a part of me that this song unlocks that seems older than myself, like the pain of a past life coming back to haunt me. Is it the melody? Her voice? All of it together? What it brings out of me is like nothing I’ve experienced. The feeling of being told to grow up around people that are ignorant to the thoughts in your head is a feeling I don’t think I’ll get over. Being alone with family around you sucks. I now know what those teenagers I saw when I was little felt. I now know why those teenagers cut and burn. It’s not sadness, It’s absolute emptiness. I wish I had the ability to turn off my feelings and walk through the next 2 years as a robot. The ability to feel nothing is a double edge sword. And that sharp, piercing sword feels… comforting. Like, the pain I cause myself on the outside parallels the pain I feel on the inside for a split second, and in that split second, I finally feel something else; Although, I don’t know what to call it. I now know what it feels to die without being slain. I know what it means to grow up now. I’ve been crying so much my head hurts. The tightrope between life and death feels more like a cliff with a wall. And with each day, I’m getting closer and closer to the top. Climbing is easy. The jump will be hard, but climbing down will be the hardest. I don’t think I wanna come down any time soon. Idk how long I’ll feel like this, but I hate not being able to kill myself. I hate being stuck alive. I don’t believe in god, but this feels like purgatory. I wish I could cease to exist, then at least I wouldn’t feel like this. I don’t want sorry ass pity comments, but do as you please. All I’m doin is saying the shit in my head in a place where it won’t matter. “Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow”, the longer I live, the more I see my tomorrow being nothing more than an endless loop of me figuring out that I’m empty night after night, and hiding it day after day. I can’t kill myself. But I can’t stay here. I guess I’ll just sit with this venom in me that grows and spreads as I do. And in the end, whether I’m alive or dead, I can see myself molding and creaking into a solemn, empty, and joyless poison tree. To anyone hearing my empty, pitiful ballad, let them fall unto deaf ears. Allow my screams to go unheard in a forest of fallen trees, because like myself, you can do nothing with a poisoned tree except look at it, or chop it down. I like feeling this way though. I like how I can’t tell people how I truly feel. I like the feeling of my skin next to a lighter. I like yearning for someone to randomly walk into the kitchen late at night and ask me what’s wrong. I like feeling fucking broken. I think throughout all of my life I realized why I couldn’t be indoctrinated into the lull of believing in a god. I like hell. I like pain. Happiness is the absence of pain. But there is not happiness without pain. There is no light without dark. There is no depiction of fulfillment, without the agony of emptiness. I never thought I would be a person that could be depressed. But the funniest people are usually the most fucked up. It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep. I want to die without having everyone mad at me. I FUCKING HATE EXISTING. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN. THE CRUELEST PUNISHMENT ANYONE HAS EVER BEEN GIVEN IS EXISTENCE. I’m not going to trick myself into believing that an invisible man in the sky is the cause of my suffering, because he would beg for my forgiveness if he existed. Ima go to sleep. Not like anyone could do a damn thing if I didn’t wake up.
hey you don't know me but i love you and i hope you know, life is worth it. it takes time, life's a slide, you climb all the way to the top for a little , but you cant stay up there. eventually you come down. and onto the ground, you may just wanna stay there. the lowest point of the slide. but being at the top and sliding down it was amazing, right? so lets get you back up and climb to the top again. just for you to slide down again , but you wanna be at the top again. its life man. you gotta get back up.
im so sorry man. i wish yoiu the best and i hope you overcome this like how 9 year old me did.. i understand.
@@lylahhiuger Preesh homedawg. I was in a hole last night. I felt better when I woke up. These little nooks and crannies of the internet is where I like to stay. Cuz it’s the realest part of this virtual place. People like you stop people from killing themselves. You, to someone you will never meet, are a saint. Ima be like you, perusing these dark corners of the internet looking for hands to grab. Because of you I feel better. You have my gratitude. I hope your day is fuckin awesome dude
Comprendo de qué hablas... Sin duda alguna no hay escapatoria ni en vida, ni en muerte, la existencia de por sí es tan compleja y a su vez tan escasa de sentido, no hay un día que no piense en la muerte, en cada momento experimentado que quedará sepultado en recuerdos que poco a poco se desvanecen, el tiempo nos arrebata absolutamente todo, quizá jamás tengamos respuesta alguna a toda la inmensidad de preguntas que albergan nuestra mente. La existencia es tan inevitable como la muerte, esto es tan frustrante...
U said everything and nothing at the same time come back in1 0years and reflect on this comment. The trauma of life will only make u stronger each and every part of variable of life is what make you, YOU! The world is fucked up we all feel this way make the best out of every situation when it’s ur time to go it’s your time to go wether u choose which ever path u want to take it’s always certain… You’ll see success happiness trouble trial sand tribulations. Stay blessed and healthy, remember to pray to the one and only, who ever/ what u believe in. Maybe hell is earth now as we exist.. it’s always been…….
Eu tô tão cansada..
Ya know what.. Dying to this wouldn’t be so bad (just sayin)
and maybe, living wouldnt be so bad. maybe, one day, a day we all wait restlessly for.
WHO POISEND THE DAMN TREE?
Chat i cant take it no more.
love you. dont do it youll make me sad.
Every probleme has a solutoin . tell me whats your probleme IM HERE FOR YOU BRO
This song has saved my life so many times…❤
Chat I’m done
dont give up your strong and you should know it. people love you.
I believe in u please don't give up
WE ALL GONNA DIE DONT HURRY JUST WAIT FOR THE END OF THE WORLD . ITS SOON
Chat is this real life?
Same.
Oh beautyfull poison tree..
Cant let gang know i fw this
ive listened to this like 3 times. keep the work going
Thank you I love to fall asleep listening to
Real
Real
How he treats you is not what you’re worth, it’s what he’s worth. Love to see appreciation for the good boyfriends, never forget that they exist and settle for a loser!
Thanks for posting this 💕
0:17 crying
🤣🤣🤣🤣
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you It's strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you With you (This world is only gonna break your heart) What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you And I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you The world was on fire and no one could save me but you Strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you (this world is only gonna break your heart) With you (with you) (This world is only gonna break your heart) No, I (this world is only gonna break your heart) (This world is only gonna break your heart) Nobody loves no one
Him and me in this music I have a sentiment of you benoit !!
I love it
THXXX
0:19
Тяжесть существования
This song makes me feel like those lofi people that just lay in bed on a rainy night listening to music.
Thank you for this (:
OH MY- I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS
Wow
omfg this is what i wanted
I love this <333
WoW this song is beautiful