Reconnection Club
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188. Reconciliation and The Elephant in the Room, Part 1
More often than not, when no-contact adult children end their estrangements and return to the relationship, there's an elephant in the room -- at least from the parent's point of view.
Parents feel like they're walking on eggshells, trying to avoid whatever it was that created the problem in the first place. If only their adult children would tell them what went wrong, so they could keep it from happening again!
But that elephant-in-the-room feeling may not be shared by the adult child, who wants the relationship to work as much as the parent does. They might not want to talk about the elephant. And that leaves parents feeling unsettled, to say the least.
This episode is for you if you're feeling nervous and unsure around your recently reconciled, or semi-estranged, adult child.
For more about how to make repairs and begin to heal from parent-adult child estrangement, read show host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.
Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.
EPISODE RESOURCES: [For functioning links, visit reconnectionclub.com/188]
Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 125: The GOOD Parent’s Biggest Blind Spot, Part 1 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 126: The GOOD Parent’s Biggest Blind Spot, Part 2 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 54: Why Do They Cut Off Contact Instead of Talking About It? Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 118: Does Your Adult Child Lack Communication Skills?
มุมมอง: 536

วีดีโอ

RCP187 Special Holiday Episode: "You Are Not Alone"
มุมมอง 48021 วันที่ผ่านมา
Hear the voices of parent who are facing the holidays without their estranged adult children this year... If you’re unwillingly estranged from your adult child or children during the holiday season, host Tina Gilbertson and members of the Reconnection Club community want you to know you’re not alone. Listen to this very special episode in your podcast player app before it expires on December 30...
186. It's Not Black and White
มุมมอง 646หลายเดือนก่อน
Following on from episodes 160 and 162 (see episode links below), host Tina Gilbertson addresses another one of those cognitive distortions (or common thinking errors) that create extra suffering in an experience that’s already painful: Estrangement from your adult child(ren). In this episode, Tina runs through a total of six examples (keep listening after she reviews the first three!) of black...
185. How Not to Come Across As Critical
มุมมอง 809หลายเดือนก่อน
Some estranged adult children go no contact because they say their parents are too critical. Has your adult child made this complaint? Are you frustrated because you just don't see what they're seeing? Does it seem like your adult child is too sensitive, and you're walking on eggshells because you never know what's going to make them feel criticized? Or do you recognize what they're talking abo...
184. Why Your Child's Partner Doesn't Like You
มุมมอง 8412 หลายเดือนก่อน
Getting along with in-laws is an age-old tradition, but also a challenge for many. When your adult child appears to be estranged because their partner doesn’t like you, it can feel like a hurtful and impossible situation. The partner may seem like a cruel and powerful gatekeeper, standing between you and your child and grandchild(ren). Resentment soon follows. And things go downhill from there....
183. Overcoming Shame
มุมมอง 7272 หลายเดือนก่อน
Not every parent whose adult child goes no contact feels like hiding it from friends and acquaintances. But many parents do. If you feel uncomfortable sharing the fact of your adult child(ren)'s estrangement, you might identify with the Reconnection Club member whose words Tina shares in this forum-inspired episode. If you fear the judgement of others, could it be that you've been judging yours...
182. Handling Political Differences with Bill Eddy
มุมมอง 3913 หลายเดือนก่อน
For clickable links, view the show notes at reconnectionclub.com/182. Political differences can play a role in family estrangement. But simply having differences is not the whole problem. How we communicate with family members who don't share our views affects our ability to connect with them in spite of those differences. In this helpful episode, Tina shares an excerpt from her conversation wi...
181. Small Change
มุมมอง 7853 หลายเดือนก่อน
When you have an estranged adult child who's gone no-contact, it's impossible not to think about change. Something needs to change if your adult child's estrangement is to end. But making changes isn't easy. Especially if you're not sure what to change, or how, or why. In this episode, Tina shares her personal experience of an unexpected change that happened in her life. She talks about how cha...
180. Reconciliation Blues
มุมมอง 9674 หลายเดือนก่อน
Reconciliation between parents and no-contact adult children can be thought of as a phase of estrangement. That means that for many parents, reconciliation will be disappointing - at least for a while. Things aren’t back to normal. Conversation doesn’t flow. You might still feel estranged, even though there’s contact. What’s going on? In this episode, Tina normalizes some of the disappointing a...
179. What Color Is Your Estrangement?
มุมมอง 9844 หลายเดือนก่อน
"We see the world not as it is, but as we are." In this episode, Tina invites parents unwillingly estranged from their adult children to take a step back and consider their beliefs about themselves, others, and the world. She compares our individual worldview to a pair of glasses, with lenses of a particular color. We can't help but perceive the world in a limiting way as long as it reaches us ...
178. How to Process a Letter From Your Estranged Adult Child
มุมมอง 8484 หลายเดือนก่อน
If you’ve received a letter from your estranged adult child, this week’s episode of the Reconnection Club Podcast, along with the one preceding it (Episode 177), is a must-listen. Because however hopeless, hurt or angry you might feel when you read it, it could actually contain the blueprint for future reconciliation and peace. Many parents fail to decode the message that’s usually there betwee...
177. How to Process a Letter From Your Estranged Adult Child
มุมมอง 1.1K5 หลายเดือนก่อน
If you’ve received a letter from your estranged adult child, this week’s episode of the Reconnection Club Podcast is a must-listen. Because however hopeless, hurt or angry you might feel when you read it, it could actually contain the blueprint for future reconciliation and peace. Many parents fail to decode the message that’s usually there between the lines - the one about what went wrong in t...
Important announcement regarding episode expiration
มุมมอง 7455 หลายเดือนก่อน
TRANSCRIPT: These are uncertain times for those of us who create and freely share content via the Internet. I mentioned on the podcast earlier this year that I needed some time to assess the impact of all the changes happening in the world of digital information, including the widespread, unregulated use of AI. At that time, I removed the show from a couple of the larger platforms, and stopped ...
176. Regarding Apologies
มุมมอง 1.2K5 หลายเดือนก่อน
Should parents apologize to adult children for mistakes they made in the past? What if those adult children aren't talking to them? What if the adult child hasn't asked for an apology? What if the parent doesn't know what to apologize for? It turns out that apologies from parents to adult children are a rather complicated affair. Somehow, parents have to figure this out for themselves. But don'...
175. Don't Skip This Step!
มุมมอง 1.5K6 หลายเดือนก่อน
“Reversing an unwanted estrangement is, in a very particular way, exactly like swimming the English Channel.” So begins this perspective-shifting episode in which Tina urges parents to prepare for reconnection the way swimmers prepare for a long-distance swim. Reaching out to your child, whether with an apology, a request for a talk, or an offer to go to therapy together, is like jumping into t...
174. "How to set boundaries without making them mad?"
มุมมอง 1.1K6 หลายเดือนก่อน
174. "How to set boundaries without making them mad?"
173. What to Do in Therapy
มุมมอง 1K7 หลายเดือนก่อน
173. What to Do in Therapy
172. When to Respect a No-Contact Request
มุมมอง 1.4K7 หลายเดือนก่อน
172. When to Respect a No-Contact Request
171. Understanding Ambivalence
มุมมอง 1.4K8 หลายเดือนก่อน
171. Understanding Ambivalence
170. "Why can't we expect our adult children to care about us?"
มุมมอง 6K8 หลายเดือนก่อน
170. "Why can't we expect our adult children to care about us?"
169. Normal "Narcissim"
มุมมอง 1.7K9 หลายเดือนก่อน
169. Normal "Narcissim"
168. Emotional Pain: A Field Guide
มุมมอง 1.8K9 หลายเดือนก่อน
168. Emotional Pain: A Field Guide
167. What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do
มุมมอง 2.7K10 หลายเดือนก่อน
167. What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do
166. Paradoxes of Estrangement (Part 2)
มุมมอง 1.4K10 หลายเดือนก่อน
166. Paradoxes of Estrangement (Part 2)
165. Paradoxes of Estrangement (Part 1)
มุมมอง 1.7K10 หลายเดือนก่อน
165. Paradoxes of Estrangement (Part 1)
Important Announcement Regarding Access to This Podcast
มุมมอง 1K11 หลายเดือนก่อน
Important Announcement Regarding Access to This Podcast
164. Seeking Safety
มุมมอง 1.3K11 หลายเดือนก่อน
164. Seeking Safety
163. Personal Growth vs. Parenting?
มุมมอง 1.2K11 หลายเดือนก่อน
163. Personal Growth vs. Parenting?
162. Overgeneralizing and Catastrophizing
มุมมอง 1.6Kปีที่แล้ว
162. Overgeneralizing and Catastrophizing
161. Getting Through Christmas
มุมมอง 1.7Kปีที่แล้ว
161. Getting Through Christmas

ความคิดเห็น

  • @sheilavillamil4195
    @sheilavillamil4195 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Do you have to be a member to listen to the podcasts on your website?

    • @ReconnectionClub
      @ReconnectionClub 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Nope, just go to /podcast on our site, or /category/podcast or /123 for Ep. 123.

  • @cathyP1961
    @cathyP1961 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So sorry

  • @shannonlmc
    @shannonlmc 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Sorry for this! Best wishes

  • @theresahaddad107
    @theresahaddad107 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Dammit!!

    • @ReconnectionClub
      @ReconnectionClub 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Our thoughts exactly. :( Remember you can always listen ad-free on our website, reconnectionclub.com/podcast.

  • @reginafarias
    @reginafarias ปีที่แล้ว

    I would like you return to the topic where the daughter leaves home because she needs her own space. I swear I didn't want to hurt my parents. I loved them very much. I just wanted to have a place where my narc brother wouldn't abuse me. Help me to get rid of this guilt. They died thinking I didn't love them.

  • @karenbuzzatto7339
    @karenbuzzatto7339 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you !

  • @ShazWag
    @ShazWag 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Happy new year Tina! 🎉

  • @francessolder4509
    @francessolder4509 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for your podcasts. They have helped me see the wood for the trees. I wish you a pleasant year for 2022.

  • @juliaf7068
    @juliaf7068 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Happy New Year Tina. Your videos have been if great value to me too. Thank you

  • @Phoenix-gp5bg
    @Phoenix-gp5bg 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    2022 Happy New Beginning to all💝

  • @skwestgate
    @skwestgate 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you, your podcast is valued & appreciated.