Frank - Stories from the South
Frank - Stories from the South
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New Baby, New Parents
Baby steps - becoming a first-time parent
By Sally Blundell of Frank Film
Cot, wahakura, bassinet, nappies, baby clothes. In two different homes in two different parts of Christchurch, first-time mothers-to-be Jadah Aramoana Coffin (Tūhoe/Ngāti Awa, 20) and Hannah Baker (25) have worked through the required checklist in preparation for their new baby.
But what comes next cannot be bought or borrowed.
“I don’t think it’s that complicated really,” says parenting expert and educator Nathan Wallis (Ngāti Kahu ki Whangāroa). “In that first year of life, your baby is the centre of the entire universe, and you are their slave.”
But it takes a village, he says, to support that one person, that “slave”, so they can provide that vital intimate relationship with this tiny, yawning, sleeping, feeding bundle of humanity.
Where in the past, parenting advice tended to focus on sleep, feeding and bowel movements - a hangover from a time when infant mortality was high - now, he says, the most pressing issue is “probably attachment disorders”.
“Especially in that first year of life, the more often your baby feels they’re in partnership with you, probably the brainier they’ll be, the more resilient they’ll be, the more fun they’ll be, the better their quality of life will be.
“If you’re raised without that intimacy you tend to be more prone to fear, to be more reactive, you’ve got to look after yourself and you don’t get the opportunity to develop the reciprocal, loving, caring, empathetic stuff that you get in the context of a high quality relationship. There’s probably nothing in your life that has a profound a difference as whether you experience that intimacy as a baby or not.”
The village notion is largely gone - only about 20% of New Zealanders live in the same place as our parents and grandparents - but in supporting young mothers, says Wallis, “I think we now have more a family of affiliations.”
Coffin will be raising her first born within a three-generation household.
“Everyone’s involved and want to be around to help with the pēpi - and looking after the mama,” says Coffin’s mother, Karla.
On the other side of Christchurch, Baker will be sharing the care of her firstborn with her partner Elliot Dowie.
“Even as a little kid I wanted to make sure that whoever I marry and have children with, he’s very hands on. It’s a 50/50 game now.”
Related or not, that “family of affiliations” allows the mother to focus on that vital one on one relationship with the baby.
“Because you’re not necessarily born with all those skills to know how to look after a baby, how to attach to a baby, how to respond to a baby, how to meet their needs,” says Wallis.
That foundational relationship also gives the baby a sense of predictability.
“When you can predict what’s going to happen, that calms the lower brain, the survival parts of the brain. When you calm the survival brain, then you're bringing to light the front cortex, all the good stuff in human development - language, literacy, numeracy but also empathy, to understand consequences, to understand the impact of your actions on others. But if a baby’s fearful, then you're not evolving that.”
It is not until about nine months old, that a baby will recognise themselves as a separate person. With that, says Wallis, comes the fear that the parent is going to leave. “And then they cling and you get this separation anxiety for a few weeks. Parents will notice it - it’s when you can’t go to the toilet without leaving the toilet door open.”
Wallis’ advice - just go with it.
“Take them to the bloody toilet with you. If you go, oh no, I don’t want a wussy kid, let’s harden him up, then you just confirm to them that you are going to abandon them. So it makes it way worse.”
Now, just days after giving birth, two new first-time mothers are absorbed in the everyday wonder of a new life.
Baker strokes the downy cheek of her new son, Arthur. “Milk’s flowing,” says Dowie. “He’s happy, she’s happy.”
Coffin gazes at her new son Te Awanuiārangi. That’s why she’s so tired, says her mother. “When he sleeps, she just sits there and stares at him.”
Credits:
Producer/Director/Cameraman/Interviewer: Gerard Smyth
Writer/Researcher: Sally Blundell
Editor: Tracey Jury
Online Editor: Oliver Dawe
Second Camera/Researcher: Ellie Adams
Line Producer: Erina Ellis
Production Manager: Jo Ffitch
Sound Design/Mix: Chris Sinclair
Attributions:
Sylvia Stewart
Tumanako Stone-Howard
Jadah Aramoana Tahi Coffin
Karla Coffin
Hannah Baxter
Elliot Dowie
Nathan Wallis
มุมมอง: 410

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ความคิดเห็น

  • @georgefairweathermoonlight4
    @georgefairweathermoonlight4 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    awwww,

  • @brentcruickshank1561
    @brentcruickshank1561 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Could of been bigger ones, who knows how big they got to

  • @tussockridge2660
    @tussockridge2660 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Note that the teens are all wearing synthetic clothing, essentially made from crude oil. Total hypocrisy at work.

  • @schlookie
    @schlookie 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Poor brainwashed children

  • @bernardjennings2782
    @bernardjennings2782 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    "We're going to be the generation that will have to live with the decisions of our past generations" .. or something similar she said. Ummm .. yes. That goes for every generation. No future generation is going to influence a past generation.

  • @user-fg6de5ht6v
    @user-fg6de5ht6v 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Delusional clowns,it's weather pure and simple.

  • @DavidParker-sx5ps
    @DavidParker-sx5ps 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    “If we move from fossil fuels to renewable sources of energy “our household energy bills will be $2b lower by 2035”.” How can that be true? Just look at Germany and Australia.

  • @peterhind9401
    @peterhind9401 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    It's called 'indoctrination', Rod Carr. Perhaps you might try indoctrinating the Chinese or the Indians who are the major polluters of the planet and not causing major anxieties among our gullible and vulnerable youngsters.

  • @chuckbirdnz
    @chuckbirdnz 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Rod, would you be preparared to debate your climate change alamist with a qualified climate scientist? “There’s no emergency” - dissident climatologist Dr Judith Curry on climate change th-cam.com/video/YBdmppcfixM/w-d-xo.html

  • @chytanaphillips2710
    @chytanaphillips2710 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ohhhhhh Kelly Sherman, you definitely were not one of the first honeless in auckland. Cause if thats the case, you'd be old af. Anyway, everyone, this is Kelly. Everything that comes out of that mouth is all kaka. How do i know? Cause i know her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @JohnViinalass-lc1ow
    @JohnViinalass-lc1ow 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    have fallen in love with th' two 'v yz...characters!

  • @Aquilinespirits
    @Aquilinespirits 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Eagle is an amazing bird. th-cam.com/video/c7XN9FFv2uk/w-d-xo.htmlsi=ZI6D6ICQqlrExPTm

  • @DoN-xh3pd
    @DoN-xh3pd 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Imagine running around with your friends one day then out of nowhere you get picked up by an eagle, dropped from an extreme height killing you from fall damage then it comes to collect its meal flies back into some tree far away from anyone and eats you 👀

  • @manu3281
    @manu3281 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Go watch Climate: The Movie (The Cold Hard Truth) 👍🏼👍🏼

  • @salazardeltoro4561
    @salazardeltoro4561 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    That painting legit looks like a Talonflame.

  • @user-ku3jz6nf4q
    @user-ku3jz6nf4q 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Once you accept colonialisation life gets better. When you are made to feel victimised by Māori academics, life is harder.

  • @Seawithinyou
    @Seawithinyou 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Trouble with Solar and Wind power it it very intermittent as Winter comes less wind less sun and European countries are finding this challenging Also what about end of life for these Green Energy Blind materials Is there recycling establishment before we mass produce these? Still have to poison ecosystems in South America and Africa to mine for the minerals and metals As for EVs Avis rentals have stopped using Ev vehicles as they are costing too much to maintain let alone they are vulnerable to intense cold for recharging let alone our old power grids aren’t powerful enough to generate more power to sustain this Highly recommend you watch Art Berman and Simon Michaux on Nate Hagens The Great Simplication TH-cam channel Well researched with globally notable scientists and professors 🕊🌏😇💖

  • @fabmanly1070
    @fabmanly1070 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Great stuff, apart from one thing! Energy savings will never be passed on to the end consumer (private).

  • @buzzard732
    @buzzard732 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Don't think that 1080 is helping!😢

  • @TheBrownsberg
    @TheBrownsberg 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Never existed all lies.

  • @user-rf2tc2tf6h
    @user-rf2tc2tf6h 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Maybe there is an island in New Zealand which is uninhabited by humans , and where both the huja and kukaku birds live happily.

  • @asgerdanielsen567
    @asgerdanielsen567 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The sound guy really liked that skreech huh?

  • @user-um8tq1tz7m
    @user-um8tq1tz7m 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    When people think animals are extinct they migrated somewhere else animals are not dumb they have found 40,000 plus creatures they thought were extinct but found them in remote areas on the opposite side of the planet or around uninhabited islands

  • @GeneralProspecter
    @GeneralProspecter 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Harpy looks bigger

  • @ThePrinceofPurp
    @ThePrinceofPurp 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Bloons doesn’t lie 😂

  • @cheeks7050
    @cheeks7050 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Why use the Maori word for them? The Maoris extirpated them just like they wiped out the Moa.

  • @jasoncarter541
    @jasoncarter541 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Didn't get blown over, lands were connected

  • @snorkle5041
    @snorkle5041 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My experience so far as a pregnant mum is that there are huge gaps in midwifes up to date medical knowledge here in nz, comparative to international studies. More training and in depth care and knowledge is required to cater for individuals medical needs throughout pregnancy.

  • @matthewrodgers1219
    @matthewrodgers1219 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Honestly it’s a little bigger than a bald eagle

  • @BruceWayne-eh1pz
    @BruceWayne-eh1pz 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Nah fuck that, Those "old friends" who can no longer speak for themselves deserve to be spoken of poorly. They didn't care how she felt why should we care about their honor

  • @mysteryhombre81
    @mysteryhombre81 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    And just like almost all amazing megafuana hominds hunted them to extinction...

  • @flesz_
    @flesz_ 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My uncle name is Frank

  • @user-xh2so8ef3o
    @user-xh2so8ef3o 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Who gives a damn what Europeans think? They're unimportant

  • @sdqsdq6274
    @sdqsdq6274 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    wtf maoris are the one who over hunted moa and cause the extinction to haast eagle

  • @Bob-jv4yf
    @Bob-jv4yf 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I thought the eagle was named Frank.

  • @markjaycox7524
    @markjaycox7524 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    "We should have believed the oral histories." -- Evidence is best.

  • @mustamuri
    @mustamuri 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    ✨🐥✨ 👶❤️

  • @lifeliver9000
    @lifeliver9000 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    54 bird species extinct once humans got to NZ. 14 of which went extinct when white man got here. Humans are bad for nature

  • @skmk88
    @skmk88 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I’m positive they’re still alive. I’ve witnessed something a decade ago, high in the sky, during a moon lit night, flapping massive wings. I’m an atheist and all my friends know i don’t mess around with myths and legends and ghosts and whatnot, so when I told them about it, most of them believed me. I even closed my eyes and refocused them to the clouds to see if I was seeing an illusion but I ended up sighting it again as I opened my eyes. It was flying in one direction, and just as I refocused and saw it again, it switched direction back to the way it came, and I kept my eyes on it until it disappeared into the distance, but I tell you, something massive was in the sky, flapping its wings like a dragon from movies, and I’m convinced we have something unseen flying above us during the night

    • @_d--
      @_d-- 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      "i'm an atheist" makes you lose your point from the start mate. Agnostic is the word

    • @skmk88
      @skmk88 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@_d-- really couldn’t care less how you take it, I said what I said

  • @FrshJurassicPrnceYA
    @FrshJurassicPrnceYA 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Currently, the Andean Condor is the largest flying bird in the world (it terms of average size). Yet the Haast Eagle was larger. And given the fact the it was a predatory bird, it’s no wonder that the Māori were terrified of the Haast Eagle. 🦅

  • @V77710
    @V77710 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    1:33 Maybe Richard Hammond

  • @bobdole7451
    @bobdole7451 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Could have had the largest eagle as your national animal... But you went for the kiwi... Friggin New Zealand, can't do anything right.

  • @robertm627
    @robertm627 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    It’s interesting that we live at the same time as the blue whale, the largest animal in history. Yet in the past all of the land predators were so big

  • @dethengine
    @dethengine 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The time to believe something is when you have EVIDENCE, not because of old stories like the giant fish your grandpa caught.

  • @user-us6vn7xv6k
    @user-us6vn7xv6k 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    When it's major source of food the moa was wiped out, they like the moa become extinct... the human caretakers of the land at that time let the eco system down badly. The facts are truth

  • @philippeturco4670
    @philippeturco4670 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The way of the dodo by bad religion or slowly going the way of the buffalo by mxpx

  • @robertmclean9737
    @robertmclean9737 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Harpy Eagles have four inch Talons, double the size of the ones they are showing.

    • @Luca-bj3cq
      @Luca-bj3cq 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      They have shown only the bone, without the ceratinous sheath. The talons on the bird would have been much much larger. The mere bones of the harpy are quite a bit smaller than the bones shown in the video.

    • @robertmclean9737
      @robertmclean9737 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@Luca-bj3cq I see. Harpies have huge oversize feet for their size.

  • @speenlmar9575
    @speenlmar9575 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Some of today's asian eagles also sometimes attempt to snatch small children.

  • @zzzzzz69
    @zzzzzz69 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Wonder what other unbelievable folklore were factual

  • @MrWeaselwork
    @MrWeaselwork 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I wish they could bring back all these awesome giant birds! 🦖🪽🪶