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I am an HSP and so are my kids and we are really struggling with my 7 year old boy. My frustration has been pushing me more into my parent’s parenting style of toughen up which I know didn’t work. I’m realizing we have been going about this all wrong. I’m going to reset tomorrow.

I LOVED your other video on Highly Sensitive Kids and went to your channel to find more. Unfortunately the high pitch sound in the background of this video was way too much for this highly sensitive mama to finish the video. 😅 You have such great information I just thought you ought to know since I’m sure many people interested in this topic are probably HSPs. ❤

Hello 🍒 I liked this video very much Keep making more videos like this I love it. By the way, if you pay a little attention to video editing i.e. insert B-roll properly then it will be very easy to understand the topic.

Amazing intervention strategy!

Also can you go over How to repair if a parent does it wrong… and model it. I do better if i can see it modeled

This was very helpful. Can you help me with my Ability to overregulate because i have a child who has Adhd and is oppositional.. and then dysregulste . He escalates and blows up no matter how hard i try to Regulate , reflect .. Talk about how hes feeling.. and he fixates on things like if we have cake or Christmas is coming.. anything exciting. We are getting to a place where he can kind of regulate Before an event but almost always the social situation goes bad.. and it results in escalation. I try so hard not to threaten or hit him.. (were talking not often) but He has this weird place he goes to that appears like complete sensory meltdown and to prevent t the escalation. Its as if the sensory of the spankin regulates him.. but im trying so so hard to Not do that. Context : I worked as a social worker…. I worked with mean, rude people who i was 100% at managing skillfully anger .. but i did t feel it or experience it. Now im having to work through my trauma and realize his behsviors trigger me and my answers are shit down attempt to wait out his behavior .. and then yell.. I say .. Dude this is going to a place we both dont like.. we agreed if you dont like me yelling then you would listen to me Before yelling so that i know my words matter.. This reaction type situation typically follows a special occasion.. like too much excitenent sends him into dictator which sends me into go away….

Your child is still forming the part of their brain that calms them - when you're little the emotional part of your brain is dominant. Lead with empathy and attunement. Don't just tell your child you understand, show them. Remember that kids and adults aren't so different. If you were taken to a car dealership and told "pick one and it's yours", you would likely be overwhelmed. Becky kennedy says kids are born with all the feelings and no controls. If your kid has a tantrum, imagine yourself in the car lot trying to pick your free car. If someone tried to interfere, you might have a meltdown too.

What happens when you were born with both

Soooo helpful. My daughter and I used to have instant screaming matches almost every day and I always wondered why she chose the consequence rather than doing the right thing. It was all about the inability to regulate herself. This all makes so much sense.

I really appreciate you and your content! This is the type of parenting I practice and it can be extremely hard as a single mom living away from family and when not many people understand this or practice it.

What do you do when you have no time or means to meet your needs as a parent? Audhd adults and kids. One with pathological demand avoidance. Sensory overload and no sleep on repeat. 😢

Well said Doctor !

🥰

Wonderful tip. I’ll use it when needed. Thanks.

Would love to hear how adult children in life can corregulate without visiting a therapist, in their daily routine life if they had childhood trauma and looking to live normally

So simply put. Loved it

Very thorough explanation and examples! This is the perfect video to relay to my sisters what is hard for me to tell them directly about how they respond to their kids.

❤️❤️❤️

Thank you and Bless You for answering the call to post this logic🙏

Thank you and bless you for answering the call to post this very informational video. Your posting has a ripple effect and I already see my student self-regulating more quickly with the support of my being mindful of how I present myself🙏. This poor child has been through too much, very grateful to you.

What a fabulous resource! I'll be sharing with my clients and social media followers. I teach this in my Family Transformation Project and your organized, detailed description is sure to be sooo helpful!

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I didn't know co-regulation occurs before self regulation. Is that based on polyvagal theory or can I find more research on that elsewhere? I'd love to learn more about why that's the case as I would have thought self regulation is important first. Thanks for the help, Brian

Love this

Wow so meaningful thank you!!

Wow so meaningful thank you

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

thank you ma'am it is such an awesome video involves a great information love it

Thanks for the great tips on understanding the difference and importance of “ I feel vs I am......

Beautiful! So much wisdom compressed in less than seven minutes, and in such a friendly and clear way, too. Thank you! 🥰

Thank you I have a daughter diagnosed with ADHD and is very hard to get her to focus school work so trying these different ideas I think will help her a lot.

Thank you Dr. Lockhart

Thank you! It is really nicely explained.

I don't understand all the laughing. I don't understand why these things are funny. Sometimes these things become life or death. Seems inappropriate!

Thank you for having me 😊

Great update

Thank you so much for having me on! I had a blast discussing this topic with you!

How about with teenager boys when they are being extremely verbally or physically aggressive - to the parent or another sibling? When there is a a high degree of shock or distress around.

Thanks for making this video, good awareness for mental health awareness month

I love the point about matching your job with your personality. That's a good ah ha moment

Thanks, Dr Lockhart for this. I think this was very beneficial and clear for parents to learn from. :)