วีดีโอ

@sherryhunter1220 Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that 😞 It’s such a huge loss. What was your precious fur baby's name? X

@@emeraldstrange Emmy she was a chihuahua mix and was my absolute rock! and I miss her every single day!

Thank you for your message 😊 I really appreciate your kind words. l'm sorry you're suffering, too.... It's definitely pretty miserable sometimes. I haven't tried castor oil on my eyelids - I found an excellent product called Epimax Eye Ointment, which works really well for me - but I'Il definitely give it a try. Lots of people say castor oil is good. Staying strong 💪 Sending love back xxx

@@emeraldstrange I mean so far it’s not a miracle cure as I have been told but I think it helps a bit. Also natural tear eye drops. And God yes the constant eye compress 🤦🏻‍♀️😳😂 And as you say we have to keep our head up ♥️

Thank you for your message! 😊 Unfortunately, heat pads make my ocular rosacea worse, and coconut oil is a bit too greasy for me. But I found a product called Epimax Eye Ointment, which is really good. And taking a high dose of fish oils seems to be helping. I'm sorry you have blepharitis, too. It's bloody miserable. Hope you're not suffering with it too much..... 🙏

Thank you 🙂 I did, indeed.

Wow, Luke-Emmanuel, thank you so much for sharing all that information with me. It's really kind of you to take the time, and I very much appreciate it. What you've told me is extremely interesting, and I will definitely look into Ayurveda and the blood type diet. Are you a practitioner, or have you experienced success with these treatments yourself? I'm trying to increase my exercise bit by bit - I know how important it is for mental health! As well as what we eat..... 🍓🍊🍋🥦🫐🍇 Anyway, I'm really grateful for your thoughtful message, and I hope you are well and happy :) Thank you again!

i replied another long one to you and i think it didnt send:( came back to see if u replied to the second response i gaev to your lovely message:(@@emeraldstrange

Hi @sueyildiz5351, I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling so scared. It is frightening when you feel like you've tried everything and nothing is helping. I can't advise you whether or not to have ECT, I can only share my own experience. It definitely helped lift my depression, although my depression has since come back, so I think it can be extremely helpful - even life-saving - when you're desperate. Having said that, it absolutely affected my memory and continues to do so. The year I had it done is a complete blur to me, and I feel like my memory is not as good as it was. However, I did manage to complete a Masters degree at university a few months after having the treatment, so my reading and writing were unaffected by it. I don't know whereabouts you live in the world, but do you know if Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS) is available to you at all? Could you ask your psychiatrist about it? It's a much more gentle, less extreme treatment than ECT, which has similar effects. There's also the Flow headset www.flowneuroscience.com/shop/ which has some pretty positive, though mixed, reviews. But it is more suitable for mild to moderate depression. I would always recommend the least invasive approach - diet, exercise, meditation, blah blah blah, etc. when approaching your mental health. However, I know when you're in the grips of illness, all that stuff is practically impossible to do. I've recently had a mental breakdown and have been considering having more ECT because of feeling so depressed. I'm sorry I can't give you a more definitive answer. All I can share with you is my own experience. And send you a virtual hug and tell you that I'm thinking of you and that I understand how you feel and that I'm sorry it's so hard. Please reach out again if there's anything else you want to ask. Or if you just want to rant! Thank you for your message and for sharing - it's really brave of you. Please take care 💜🙏

Thankyou so much for replying it means a lot to me 🌺 I pray ECT helps because im greatly struggling I’m from Australia and yes I’ve done tms but unfortunately nothing helped… I’m scared but I’m desperate and I know you would know how that feels I just pray I won’t come out of it with awful side effects… thankyou for responding.

Also how many treatments did they recommend? They want me to do 6 in total also was it bilateral or ulaterial that you had? They want me to have bilateral.

@sueyildiz5351 I have to be really careful what I say. I'm not a professional and unfortunately I can't advise you. It would be totally irresponsible of me to tell you that you should or shouldn't have the treatment. I can only tell you my about my experience. I'm sorry, I know that's not very helpful. And I feel your pain and your fear and your desperation. I wish I could wave a magic wand. Or just hug you better. It's so hard. You've got to make this major decision all by yourself when you're so vulnerable and you feel so alone. And only you can make that decision. All I can say is that I could not have gone on the way I was feeling. I felt utterly and completely hopeless. And the ECT allowed me to go on. It certainly didn't solve all my problems. But it lifted my spirits enough that it allowed me to do other things to improve my mental health, which I couldn't possibly have done before. I'm so torn. I regret it in as much as it definitely has affected my memory - memory loss was the only side effect I had - and my depression came back. But on the other hand, I was sooooo depressed I honestly don't think there was any other option at that time. ECT is absolutely a last resort. If there is ANYTHING else you could try that you haven't yet, try that first. In terms of the treatment itself, it's completely natural to be scared - it's such an unknown. Stereotypically, ECT is painted as being barbaric. But it's really not. It makes a big difference who administers the treatment. The team I had was lovely; really kind. Do you like your psychiatrist and trust him/her? I actually can't remember exactly how many sessions I had. I think it was three sessions a week for four weeks - so twelve sessions in total - and it was bilateral. Again, I am so sorry you're having to go through this, and I wish there was more I could do to help. Take your time. Really think it through. Do as much research as you can. Also, listen to your gut instinct. And then try and make an informed decision based on all those things. Sending you 🤗🤗🤗

Thankyou so much I appreciate your response I hope this will help me.

I'm so, so sorry that you're going through such a tough time. You've been hit by everything at once - one tsunami after another. You pick yourself up and another one hits. Your dog passing away, your partner ending your relationship, being in peri-menopause, and then being diagnosed with BPD. Each of these on their own are major life events, but all together - I mean no wonder you're blimming struggling. Plus, you've always worked so hard, AND you're a single mum!!! Honestly, I'm absolutely in awe of you. I just think you're amazing. It's sounds like a really good thing that you've been doing some inner work - knowledge is power - but all that stuff kinda goes out the window when you're literally on your knees. Have you got some kind of support to help you get through this? Are the HRT and antidepressants making any difference? Please be kind to yourself 🙏 It's so easy to blame ourselves or criticise ourselves when we're struggling. Especially when we've always been high-functioning and battled on through in the past. Thank you for leaving your message and being brave enough to share what you're going through. I really hope things get better for you. I'm thinking of you and sending love back xxx

Thank you, I have tears reading this! I have been scanning TH-cam for other with BPD who are going through this transition! I know it’s different for everyone as we are all in a scale so to speak. The last couple of years have been a roller coaster. I haven’t noticed a huge difference on hrt. And only a week in on the ADs and I am still coming to term ms with Temne diagnosis even though I already had my suspicions and wanted to be in some kind of denial! Anyway I am considering giving up work (self employed carer) to finally after 25 years give myself some much needed respite and just surrender for a while! I am so dysregulated and riddled with so much anxiety we can only be kind to ourselves. Thank you for sharing- it’s such valuable information that is rarely spoken about! Peri menopause amplifies EVERYTHING! Xxx

@@lornaelizabeth6290 Bless you. I'm sorry the last couple of years have been so hard. I really hope the HRT and antidepressants help. They can both take a while to kick in. And it's a shock being diagnosed with something like BPD, even when you have your suspicions! There's a lot of stigma around it, too. That, plus peri-menopause, plus life throwing curveballs at you left, right, and centre 🤯🤯🤯 It sounds like a break from work would be really good for you if you can manage it. Being a carer is tough! And you've been doing it for 25 years. Wow, that takes so much strength, patience, and compassion ❤️ You absolutely deserve some respite and time to recharge and heal. Stress and anxiety take such a toll on the body. Especially when you're going through so much other stuff, too. I really wish you well and hope you feel better very, very soon! Please look after yourself xxx

​@emeraldstrange I'm looking at ect now.

Hehe, thanks, Jeff. It's a very self-indulgent, way-too-long, cringeworthy video 😬 I should delete it really. Anyway, I hope you're well and happy 🙂

Thank you so much for your comment! Unfortunately, I haven't been doing too well, which is why I haven't been vlogging. No, no testosterone. I couldn't get hold of any unless I went private, which I can't afford to do at the moment. Are you on HRT? How are you getting on?

@@emeraldstrangeomg, I’m so sorry! Both for the fact that you haven’t been so well and for not getting testosterone unless you go private. That’s so wrong! To be honest, I’ve figured out pretty recently that I’ve probably been in perimenopause for about 10 years. I’ve had so many health issues that make sense when I learn about this. The final year I’ve been so much worse. Your story really resonnated. And i loved your humor ❤ I finally got HRT a week ago. I first got the patchers that you said You’ve got. The combined. But i didn’t want to take them, so I spoke up yo my gynecologist and she finally did the research and accepted to give me Estrogel and Utrogestan. She would not give me testo though. At least not initially. I am convinced that my muscle and joint pain and fatigue and lack of motivation is a lack of testo, so I will go back in 2 to 3 months and I will FIGHT to get my hormone back! I think it should be my right. I’m in Norway, and HRT seems to be even further behind than the UK.

I am. I wish I wasn't, but every time I've ever tried to come off them (tapering slowly), I just get worse. At the moment, I feel too unwell to even try. Have you tapered off meds before?

​@emeraldstrange where are you?

Thank you for your kind comment 😊 Not doing too well, which is why I haven't been vlogging. I really hope you're okay!

@@emeraldstrange Oh no I’m sorry to hear that. :( Hang in there my friend. Everything will eventually be ok before you know it. I’m doing ok myself. Just hang in there and do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and treat yourself to something you love. Some “me time” when you’re feeling down definitely helps me out. Glad to hear from you regardless!

@BladesAndDiamonds You are lovely! Thank you - your kind and supportive words mean a great deal. Just got to keep on keeping on..... I'm glad you're okay. I hope life is treating you well and that you're happy. You definitely deserve to be! 😊

@@emeraldstrange thank you so much. You are lovely as well! I know you can get through it!

BoobooAngel, I am so so sorry! I've only just seen your message eleven months later. It's really important to me that I respond to messages and I don't understand how yours slipped through the cracks - I usually get a notification - other than I haven't checked my channel in a long, long time. I'm so sorry to hear you had a psychotic episode. That must have been extremely scary and lonely. It's really brave of you to share that with me. How are you now? Are you feeling any better? I really hope you are 🙏 How is your Westie? They are such little characters. My girl Molly died in June 2022 and I miss her everyday. Thank you for your kind message. I wish I could give you a hug right back! Please know you're totally not alone. I'm being treated for a mental breakdown at the moment, so it's an ongoing battle, but am just about hanging on in there..... I'm thinking of you and sending love back ❤️ xxx

any update since your last comment 1 month ago. Is it working for you?

@Good Business Yes ...I've reduced the oestrogen pump down to one pump per night with the progesterone pill at night . This is working well for me . Lots more energy , less fatigue , no hot flashes ! Thanks for asking 🙂

Hi again. I've been using ikervis eye drops once a night for five and a half months now. Plus Softacort steroid eye drops for short intervals during that time. My eyes are definitely better than they were, though to be honest they still hurt and itch ALL the time. They say it can take between three to six months to notice any effect - sometimes longer - so you have to give them a fair chance and be consistent. You never know, they might really help you. The thing is trying to find the root cause of the problem. Only then can you be given the appropriate treatment. I'm still yet to discover what's causing all my symptoms and why. I must do a follow-up video about some other things I've tried. I really hope the drops help you! 😊 Please feel free to ask any other questions you want, and I definitely recommend joining that Facebook group I mentioned.

@@emeraldstrange thank you for responding and providing your experience with ikervis! I am literally at my whits end with it all. Can I ask, I feel it’s either covid or the vaccine that caused all of this as it all stemmed out of absolutely no where after my first does of the Pfizer vaccine. I’ve had perfect health and vision my whole life until then

@@chrisgopro8017 Hi Chris, sorry for my late reply. My eyes have actually got much worse again and I've had to stop using ALL drops: Ikervis; Softacort; even dry eye drops (I've been using Thealoz Duo Gel), which have pretty gentle ingredients in them. It feels like I'm putting lemon juice in my eyes when I use them. I'm due to go back to the eye clinic at the hospital to have them looked at again. They're driving me insane..... As far as covid is concerned... it's possible. It's a tricky subject to discuss on TH-cam though. There are so many different, very conflicting, views concerning the affects of both the virus and the vaccination. If you want to message me about it and talk more, you can email me at: emeraldopia at gmail dot com Otherwise, it's worth doing some research online to do with the link between covid and eye health. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I wonder if you're getting any relief from the ikervis yet? Wishing you well!

Hi Chris - I'm so sorry you're suffering. I really sympathise. Debilitating is right! Sometimes it's literally unbearable. And you're so young. Have you had a definite diagnosis? At first I was told blepharitis; then meibomian gland dysfunction; then 'aqueous' deficient dry eyes - which is rarer than the more common 'evaporative' dry eyes. I just don't know anymore. My main problem is terrible itching, however, I've been allergy tested and everything came back negative. And antihistamines don't seem to do anything so..... I also can't stand bright lights, my eyes feel tender and bruised when I move them, I have an almost constant headache, extreme dryness, plus redness on the sclera, inner rims, and on the surrounding skin. And it all came out of nowhere. Sorry - probably too much information! I was just wondering how many of these symptoms you're experiencing? There's a really helpful Facebook group. If you search for 'Blepharitis and Dry Eye Support Group', run by Robert Longhurst Optometrist. It's a private group, but you just ask to join. It's full of helpful tips and advice, shared by people with similar issues.

Ahhh, thank you! That's a lovely thing to say 😊👍❤🙏

Thank you for your lovely comment and for sharing your story. I'm sorry you've been through so much, and been suffering for all these years. I think you've been extremely brave and your profile pic still shows your beautiful smile in spite of it all! It's certainly a struggle trying to stay positive when riding this 'hormonal roller coaster'. Nobody warns you how awful it can be going through the peri-menopause; and just how many bizarre and debilitating symptoms it can cause. I'm waiting to see a gynaecologist again (which could take some time - the NHS in this country seems to be broken.....), so will definitely mention the estrogen levels thing to them. I really, really hope your health improves and you begin to find some relief and equilibrium. Sending you lots of good wishes and thank you again for your kind words 😊

Thank you for your comment. I really hope you feel better soon 🙏💙

ECT is Brain torture and barbaric….. The people who I personally know who underwent ECT….WISHED they never did.

Thank you for the advice 😊 I might try avoiding corn altogether. Worth a try!

Hi Sammy 👋 Thank you for your lovely comment 😊 Wow - EUPD and ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. That's really, really tough. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all that. You must be very brave and strong! I hope you're doing okay 💗 xxx

​@@emeraldstrangeyour last video was a year ago. Where are you?

Hi DRAGONFLYS06 - That's really interesting. No, I haven't seen Kari Anne Wright, but, will check her out now! Thank you so much for letting me know. I hope you get some good results from the HRT, and thank you so much for your comment and advice :) xxx

WOW!!! I just watched the video by Kari Anne Wright. It's incredible how many awful symptoms peri menopause can cause. No wonder women feel like they're going crazy..... Thank you - it's so helpful to know this stuff, and also to know I'm not alone. I really appreciate you sharing the video with me :)

Thank you for your comment :)

​@emeraldstrange where are you?

Hello! :)

Hi Don - Thank you so much for your comment . I'm really sorry you're struggling. It definitely feels like one step forward, eight steps backwards sometimes, doesn't it?! I know exactly what you mean about making progress with the BPD, only to be hit by the bloody menopause. Sod's Law..... It seems to be a case of just getting through each day at the moment. Sometimes just each minute! HRT has helped me quite a bit, though it's not a cure-all. Have you tried it? I hope you're doing okay at the moment too. Sending you good wishes :)

@@emeraldstrange Hi thanks for your kind reply. I've been getting some support for a week and I'm feeling a bit better, thanks. You're so right about the bpd thing. The menopause is such a menace, arriving when bpd symptoms were getting better. I guess it will be an ongoing struggle until the menopause decides to leave, lol. I hope you're doing ok today, take care. 🫂

Yes, I think not having children definitely makes the menopause seem even more unfair, somehow. I'm sorry you've been feeling so down. Do please know that you're not alone. And that things can get better. And thank YOU for sharing too!

Yes, do share! I've found it really cathartic and therapeutic.

@@emeraldstrange will do :)

Hi - Thank you so much for your message. I really hope the HRT makes a difference for you. It can take quite a while - up to three months - although some women notice a change more quickly than others. It took at least a month for me to start noticing a difference, so hang on in there. And I will make an updated video! :)

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry you've been going through such a terrible time. Six years of potentially completely unnecessary suffering - it's just ridiculous. Well done for making it this far - you're amazing - and thank you for being so brave and sharing your story. I really hope the HRT helps you. It's incredible to me that peri-menopause / menopause / isn't picked up on sooner! So many women are struggling unnecessarily. Remember, you're not alone! Thinking of you and sending best wishes :) xxx

Hi - I'm so sorry for my incredibly late response to your lovely comment. I feel terrible I haven't replied before now, but I haven't checked my channel, or made any content for ages, and so am just catching up. I didn't realise I had comments waiting..... Your words are really kind, generous and encouraging, and I appreciate them very much - thank you!! I hope you're doing well and that life is being kind to you :)

@@emeraldstrange Hi that’s ok! I understand that. Life gets busy sometimes and we have lots of things we have to do. I’m doing ok. I’ve come down with COVID but I’m getting through it fine. Hope you’re doing better than you were before! Can’t wait to see another update sometime. Take care Emerald!

@@BladesAndDiamonds I'm really sorry you've got the dreaded Covid. How are you feeling now? Much better I hope! You take care too X

@@emeraldstrange Thank you! I still have a lot of coughing but I think I’m getting to the end of it finally! Thank you for asking. Hope you’re well today too!

@@BladesAndDiamonds So glad you're feeling better 😊 Thank you for your message!

Gosh, what a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much 😊 It's extremely kind of you to take the time to comment and I'm glad you seemed to enjoy my somewhat bizarre ramblings..... I really hope you're not feeling too depressed at the moment; and that life is treating you well. It's definitely nice to know we're not alone in our struggles to get through this weird thing called life 🤗

@@emeraldstrange Absolutely! I watched it all the way through and I have a terrible attention span. Thank you for your worry! I’m doing well right now and I hope you are too. Keep pushing through girl! Can’t wait to see the next update. ❤️

@@BladesAndDiamonds I'm really glad you're doing well 😊 And thank you again for being so sweet and supportive! ❤

@@1swingoutsister Thank you! :3 Hope you’re well too!

​@emeraldstrange where are you, Emerald?

Thank you. And right back at you! 🤗🙏❤

@@emeraldstrange❤️

Thank you for your kind comment. It means a lot and definitely helps 💪 😊

Thank you so much for your suggestions 😊 I already take fish oil and vitamin D, but haven't tried nutritional yeast, so will definitely give that a go. Unfortunately, I can't take St John's Wort because I'm on antidepressants, but I'm hoping to try and come off them at some point🤞and will try the tincture then. I've heard some really good things about it!

@@emeraldstrange yes! its listed in the Merck's manual which is how i found it. i was willing to take a drug because i felt so low, but i was so glad to find an herb. I used it and never experienced any side effects even on maximum dosing. It helped me sleep also. I wish i had known about nutritional yeast (get non--fortified, non gmo), which will fix a lot of issues!

@@mindyboone7491 Have just ordered some non-fortified, non-gmo, nutritional yeast! Thank you 😊

Thank you for your lovely and inspiring words! I'm trying to get out and about more into nature. And you're right - this world IS beautiful, even in these dark times 🌍 💙

Ah, thank you. I really appreciate your words 💕

Ugh, I am. Not fun sometimes. 😕

@@angelalane1307 I understand...a lot of your emotions come from witnessing how far civilization has fallen. You are just a sincere, caring person!

Your reply made my day! Thank you so much 😊 Yes, I think I am an empath. I can definitely feel what other people are feeling. It's somewhat of a blessing and a curse. Are you an empath, too?

@@emeraldstrange yes I am..and I recognize my own kind❤️😊

@@emeraldstrange you are a teacher...so keep spreading your truth💃