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3 years is a long time

Hi Ursula. Congratulations on reaching this milestone of three years on TH-cam. That’s a very significant achievement. I watched your entire video. I really feel for you, especially as you describe the John Lennon video experience. I’m very sorry that you were subjected to that. As I said in another comment on a different video, that’s the worst part of this whole online experience, and it’s very hurtful when it happens. I have tagged you on a couple of recent tags, but I wasn’t sure if you were interested in doing tags anymore. I’ve been involved in a group read-along that might interest you. MJ started a banned book club, starting on Sept 1. This is in response to the State of Utah banning 13 books by 7 authors, 6 of whom are women. This month, we are reading Sarah J Maas’ novel, A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACoTAR). This is a book I probably never would have read, as it’s a genre I’m not interested in at all. It’s definitely not great literature, but it absolutely has the right to be in libraries. Anyway, we are discussing it in both a Voxer group and in a group on FABLE, a new-to-me app. A bunch of us have already finished it as it was a really quick read, and we’re talking now about what our next banned book reading will be. It may be a Margaret Atwood novel. Maybe Toni Morrison. Anyway, it’s a pretty diverse group of men and women, all different ages and different levels of experience here. Is that something that might interest you? If so, I’d love to have you join us. Let me know, and I can add you to the Voxer group. (I’m actually going on a big trip in a few days, so I’ll be mostly offline, but I’ll be back soon. Let me know, though, if you’d like to join in, and I can add you.) or you could wait til we pick the next book, which will, I think, be for October. No pressure, but there are a lot of great people participating, and you might enjoy it. Anyway, back to my note of congratulations on your third anniversary on BookTube. 😊

Congratulations Ursula! You dont need to make excuses. You're very brave to put yourself out there. Your authenticity and kindness shines through, no matter what. If your videos make you happy, then the people who actually matter, the ones you're trying to reach, will watch.

Free Palestine 🇵🇸 btw I was not expecting this from goldspotpens

Trash.

Congratulations on finishing your book, and congratulations on reaching this 300 video milestone! Awesome achievement!

Congratulations Ursula. 300 videos is a great achievement.

I really like your channel Ursula. You have a lovely happy smile. Don't give audiance to the rude. keep on smiling.

Hi Ursula, August was very busy. It was my birthday and I created a readathon. I will catch up on your videos. Congrats on 300 videos. I'm almost there. Shalom and Aloha.

What a labor of love your story must be and what an epic imagination you must have. It's great and inspiring to hear about it. Thanks. Jim

I'm very sorry that you had this terrible experience with nasty comments on your John Lennon video. You experienced the very worst part of social media. It can be very jarring and personally very hurtful when you read hateful or mean-spirited comments. There is no excuse for it. I'm sorry I wasn't there to defend you against the haters. I never saw any of this. I just went back now to see the video, but, as you said, you have deleted the worst of the comments, as well you should have. I used to do poetry shorts every day because I had some subscribers who were really into my poetry videos, but they also got some really disgusting, hideous comments, and I deleted the whole series and stopped doing the shorts. I talked about it in a recent video where I gave a channel update. I decided I would find other ways to incorporate poetry into my regular videos as they are generally watched by subscribers whereas shorts have an entirely different audience. But I digress. All I am trying to tell you is that I know how hurtful it can feel to have someone--a total stranger--leave a personal attack on your channel. I often think that I don't have a thick enough skin for TH-cam. MJ at Reading This Life has been very helpful to me in showing me how to set up filters on the channel so that really offensive comments get flagged and never appear unless I approve them. Would something like that be helpful to you? Mostly, I guess I just want you to know that I'm very sorry that you had this terribly hurtful experience. You didn't deserve that. At all. Ever. You have to decide what you want you to do with your channel going forward, but I would be sad to see you stop creating videos. I would, however, support whatever you decide to do.

Congratulations on 300 videos! I will go look for the last one. How nice to be outside at the library :)

I have some plushie buns and more on the way. I wanted strawberry but sold out. They only made a hundred each in the fruit buns. I grab those on sale.

I never bought or read a copy because Goldman made John look like a castrated man and beta male personality,he was especially cruel with Yoko too

I'm an old fart so I remember when this came out in 1988. It caused quite a sensation then and the general consensus is much as you described it as a piece of trash. I'm just surprised you dug it up now, 36 years after it's publication when it's on the dustbin of history where it belongs.

True we were so young and it was The British Invasion. I never understood how John not financially xa48ng for Cynthia and Julian

I agree with you it was just fast way to make money and none of it was ever proven and finally its easy to write about people who are dead they can't defend themselves

Sean has sister?

Never knew Yoko had daughter

... und sie sind völlig ahnungslos und talentbefreit....

His Elvis book is the same thing.

Kafka said hell is being where people have a view of you like that.

why is vagabond/ vagabundo / drifters so hard to find?

Mystery Train!!!

Albert Goldman was one of the worst biographers of all time. He has been described as a journalistic grave-robber since he tended to attack those who couldn't sue him for the lies he made up in his books. He writes tabloids in book form. He also tends not to cite sources, which again, helpful when you are just making things up. I'm sorry you suffered through that book. The Ray Coleman book Lennon is a much better read.

One of the best and most level-headed insights into John and greatest refutations of nonsense surrounding this most inscrutable of all the Beatles. Thank you.

Amen and amen! Goldman did a reprehensible hatchet job o John Lennon, for no better reason than money!

Goldman died around the same time as Kurt Cobain and no one cared enough about him to have his body shipped home - unwept and unhonoured indeed. Goldman was on a mission to undermine popular music - he failed. I dont trust Christopher Sandford either.

Last comment :) John gave someone a bunch of material- recordings, letters etc for safe keeping. I can’t say who that person is but Yoko is aware of it and has tried but failed to get them back. They will likely all be released once she passes. John was doing drugs - cocaine not H before his death. He was also scheduled for surgery on his nose as it was collapsing. He was a drug addict despite multiple valiant attempts to get clean. Many of his attempts were sabotaged. There is also audio on the internet of John’s audio diary discussing his sexual attraction to his mother (not unusual that’s why the term “Oedipal” exists). This has a lot to do with how he was vulnerable to Yoko. His childhood was very confusing. Mimi & Yoko shared similar traits. We don’t have to wonder if he sat in front of the tv for years doing nothing. We know this for a fact. He made audio diaries which are published on the internet. He also made video recordings- also available on the internet. The footage from Cold Spring Harbor is particularly upsetting. He was an extremely traumatized person and he was exploited by nearly everyone in his life except the Beatles but especially Paul who was probably the only true friend and equal reciprocal relationship he ever had. He was just waking up from these years of essentially living as a lost soul and was meeting Paul in England in January to record again (it was supposed to be December but the studio was booked) Please watch “Understanding Lennon McCartney”. It’s a 7 part series (approx 10 hours) on TH-cam by Breathless390. It’s all archival footage and screen quotes. The filmmaker is not in it nor is there any voiceovers or re-enactments. It’s entirely archival material including some clips described above. What was going on at The Dakota especially 75-80 was very disturbing. Sadly, Lennon was very close to freeing himself before his tragic death that affected and forever changed the lives of millions of people including me.

Also Paul McCartney did not bash the book entirely. I believe the only comment he made on record was to dispute that Lennon was homosexual. I agree with that. There is evidence to support that something happened between Lennon & Epstein in Spain - straight out of Lennon’s own mouth but not full s**. It is well established that Epstein was in love with Lennon but it was actually Ono herself that perpetuated the lie of Lennon’s homosexuality in her usual manipulative coy double-speak. She also claimed Paul McCartney was in love with her (as well as Mick Jagger) and that Lennon was very jealous of this but that is fiction. The truth is Yoko stalked Lennon for two years after failing to seduce Paul. When “the myth” was made Lennon went along with her claims of not knowing who The Beatles were as he did with many of her tall tales. She publicly said that she thought had heard of Ringo only because Ringo means “Apple” in Japanese. This was a lie that everyone knew about. She had as early as 66 began knocking on Paul’s door wanting a manuscript from him. Paul introduced John to Yoko at a Robert Fraser show for John Cage well before her own show at Indica. Cynthia was used Yoko showing up at their house all the time and even jumped in their car for a ride and sat in between them. John thought she was a nut job then. But a couple of unfortunate things happened that collided and opened the door for her. John was very vulnerable during this time - he needed intervention- not an acid induced “rebuilding his ego” trip. It is also well established that Yoko had a live in boyfriend at the time of Lennon’s death and she was with him for 20 years. He was “sent” into exile and silence when they split but had a bedroom next to hers and Johns where John slept alone. John was making plans to divorce Yoko and go back to England right before his death. No, I don’t believe Yoko had anything to do with his death other than the fact that she published their recording schedule enraging Lennon’s security guard who quit as a result. If that hadn’t happened Lennon would have been escorted into The Dakota at the back as usual not the front where he became an open target. The security guard came back the day after his death, out of guilt, I can only assume. All very tragic. People don’t bash Yoko because they are misogynistic, racist or jealous. They despise her for what she has actually done and continues to do.

Hi …. A for effort… the Goldman book is controversial indeed and a lot of the info was factually wrong however there’s more truth to it than fiction. His sources have been corroborated over the 3 decades the book was published. There are troves of unpublished information that has been suppressed by the estate. The diaries exist and Yoko has 700 million dollars to counter any narrative she wants. Huge Lennon fan and historian personally. What Goldman got wrong which is so glaring in the book and non-existent in context is Lennon’s psychological profile. The book is “The Lives of John Lennon” but human lives are constructs of mind heart and soul - all missing in this tome. The psychological profile of Yoko Ono is outlined but not colored in. The formulation of the Lennon-Ono myth lies very much in two distinct events in Lennon’s life. One in early childhood and the other that occurred between the fall of 67 and spring of 68 but began in 1957. When Goldman published the book in 1989 mental health data and diagnoses we are all familiar with now did not exist. Lennon wasn’t that complex of a personality. Yoko on the other hand is. Paul McCartney is more complex than Lennon was but McCartney is a very stable personality. The Beatles breakup started years before it happened officially and that disintegration is key to understanding Lennon. Fred Seaman is and was a reliable source but has been muzzled as recently as 2021. Court docs are on the internet. It is irresponsible to say that everything in the book is fiction and all the sources were liars as they were not. Troves of supporting documentation is now available if you know where to find it.

Hi …. A for effort… the Goldman book is controversial indeed and a lot of the info was factually wrong however there’s more truth to it than fiction. His sources have been corroborated over the 3 decades the book was published. There are troves of unpublished information that has been suppressed by the estate. The diaries exist and Yoko has 700 million dollars to counter any narrative she wants. Huge Lennon fan and historian personally. What Goldman got wrong which is so glaring in the book and non-existent in context is Lennon’s psychological profile. The book is “The Lives of John Lennon” but human lives are constructs of mind heart and soul - all missing in this tome. The psychological profile of Yoko Ono is outlined but not colored in. The formulation of the Lennon-Ono myth lies very much in two distinct events in Lennon’s life. One in early childhood and the other that occurred between the fall of 67 and spring of 68 but began in 1957. When Goldman published the book in 1989 mental health data and diagnoses we are all familiar with now did not exist. Lennon wasn’t that complex of a personality. Yoko on the other hand is. Paul McCartney is more complex than Lennon was but McCartney is a very stable personality. The Beatles breakup started years before it happened officially and that disintegration is key to understanding Lennon. Fred Seaman is and was a reliable source but has been muzzled as recently as 2021. Court docs are on the internet. It is irresponsible to say that everything in the book is fiction and all the sources were liars as they were not. Troves of supporting documentation is now available if you know where to find it.

I think that while this book has a lot of issues pertaining to methodology, I still think the John in this book is more realistic than the John that is often portrayed in popular culture.

I love plushie dreadfulls and I collect some of them myself. I have ordered the fawn one and the scoliosis one and I am getting them any day now. It takes a while to get here because I live in Greece.I follow you and watch every video you do on them that makes me see them in detail so I can decide if I like to add some in my collection.Even though I have anxiety I haven`t bought one yet I did't like the original one because of the colour and I would be getting the purple one if the ears did't change. I will not get every colour of them just only the one that I fell represents me .I do have my eye on the black version but I am waiting to see some videos when it launches so i can see how it acxually looks live. Pictures sometimes don't do them justice .So i will be waiting for a new video of yours that it will make me decide. Thank you for taking the time to update us .From the ones you got I love the fawn bunnie the most!

It’s a tall task, but once you have read your way through most of these translations it’d be great for you to revisit the topic.

I did find one biography of Yoko David Brackett, YOKO ONO: AN ARTFUL LIFE. 2022, Sutherland House, 350 pp. Surprising there haven't been many others. Have to see if my library has it.

You love Russian Literature, Judaism, the Beatles and you are also beautiful. How can I meet you?!?!?!? :) As to what happened with John and Brian, Peter Brown's book, "The Love You Make," claims they did consumate their relationship and that John used this toold power over the group and Brian, but it really does seem that Brown is wrong. BTW, the harmonica John plays on early Beatle recordings was the one he stole from a music shop when the Beatles were in Haburg. Maybe he REALLY stole it from the sailor he killed (LOL).

The book was released during the 80's mostly to get advantage of John's death sadly, soon before Paul had reconciled and reconnected with him so he passionately bashed the book On the Yoko subject, I do think that there's two extremes sadly that avoid any rational level headed conversation, one that absolutely hates her because of inherently missoginistic and racist reasons and people who deny any valid criticism because they acuse others of racism and misogyny I do think she has her merits on influencing John's career but she also has done some highly questionable things particularly to Julian Lennon and there's inaccurate accounts on how she met John

Wow, this video has attracted a bunch of Albert Goldman apologists and Yoko-bashers! I really didn't expect that. As I said in the video, my reasons for disliking this book have nothing to do with thinking John was some sort of demigod beyond criticism; indeed, when I first read it at age 14-15, I adored it because I believed those stories were true and thus made him seem even more human, someone who overcame a lot of ugly things in his past and ultimately emerged a better person. The vast majority of music history scholars (not just people who personally knew John!) view this book as an unreliable source, to put it mildly. Mr. Goldman did similar hack jobs on Elvis (twice!) and Jim Morrison, though his death kept him from publishing the latter unfinished manuscript. The Elvis books likewise are regarded as tabloid trash full of inaccuracies, distortions, and outright fabrications, and I'm saying this as someone who's never been a serious Elvis fan (beyond liking a lot of his songs in general). I'm currently reading through several hundred comments on a lovely New York Times story from 2023 about Yoko Ono, her deep connection to New York City for decades, and how she's retired to the Catskills. The vast majority of the commenters have such lovely things to say about her music, her art, and Yoko as a person. Many of them have great stories about running into her around the city since the Seventies, and how genuine and kind she was in these interactions. As I've said so many times, people who bash Yoko are in a small but loud minority. Most people have long since recognised her for her important contributions to music, art, and peace activism, and aren't levelling criticism based on well-documented sexism, misogyny, and racism dating from the Sixties. How many people would, e.g., accuse her of allegedly controlling John if she were a man? Rude comments and comments personally attacking me will be deleted. That goes beyond having a different opinion and agreeing to politely disagree.

Bashing Yoko is not misogynistic just because she's female. It's misogynistic if the argument is BECAUSE she's female. Look it up. (listen to Seasons of Glass, unrelated, but great Yoko album)

I thought he should have called it ‘I think John Lennons a C**t..’

I just had to stop the video. Goldman’s book is a masterpiece of rock history. The author interviewed hundreds of people who knew John and were close to the scene, and he reports what he was told and he reports facts based upon official documents. Let’s be precise-no one in the immediate Beatles family granted Goldman an interview. The wives did not grant him an interview. Their perspective would have been a valuable addition to the story. I won’t delve into any particular passage but do want to mention that John’s vacation with Epstein was the subject of a discussion between Shotton and John, and Pete Shotton has written about what John told him in confidence. So one of three things are happening: either -) John made up a story to Shotton, to impress Shotton; or 2) Shotton is a complete liar; or 3) John did have a moment with Brian which probably led to nothing (as reported by Goldman). Also, you appalled at the idea that John was using drugs while with Yoko. Are you familiar with the recorded session where John says to Stevie Wonder, “do you need a toot?” John was using drugs (by his own admission) all though out the seventies. I want to point out that Goldman did the legwork. He went out and interviewed people. He sat down with Nielsen and May. He talked with Yoko’s employees and they had no reason to lie. I will leave you with one thought: the person who tells the truth is the most unpopular person in the room. I also want to add that serious Beatle biographers use this book as a starting point. Why? Because the research was done right and the information is reliable. How do I know? One of the best biographers-who is currently writing a treatise on the second period of Beatlmanja-told me so in writing. While the biographers do not accept every part of Goldman’s book, or the focus on the negative, they do respect the research, (most committed to audio tape!!) and the level of detail. John was not a loving person or a nice hippy, but a fractured human being with many many faults and negative personality traits.

The best book on Lennon or any of the Beatles - by far. It doesn't matter what the fans think, this is an extremely well researched book and was never challenged in court despite its candid revelations. Does anyone seriously believe that Yoko would not have challenged this if she thought she had any grounds? In a fascinating account perhaps the most intriguing thing is that Goldman alluded to the fact that someone was obviously funding the impoverished Chapman but the police had little interest in checking further. The telephone logs from the Dakota might have been interesting had they been checked out. As for John sitting alone staring at the television for hours on end, it's been well documented that he was already doing this a lot as early as 1966. Unfortunately even Goldman wasn't able to discover Lennon's all important relationship with Alma Cogan as it wasn't revealed until quite a few years later. A mere 2 weeks after Cogan's early death from cancer, a distraught John Lennon walked into the Indica Galley and into the clutches of one Yoko Ono. The rest is history.

Interesting how Goldman makes up lies about the Beatles and gets away with it! Who was the editor or publisher? What was their agenda! And who is this Goldman!

i Refused to read this book because I knew it was a piece of crap

It was very interesting to hear you talk about Hermann Hesse. My introduction to Hesse was also Demian. I remember reading it for the first time in maybe 8th or 9th grade. I think I found a copy of it on my oldest brother's book shelf. From there, I read Siddhartha and Narcissus and Goldmund. I haven't reread Hesse in many, many years though. How did you come upon Ed McBain? Do you know Olly's channel at Criminolly? Ed McBain is his favorite author, and he has many videos about him. I remember being really surprised to learn that the novel Blackboard Jungle was by the same guy. I think he actually wrote under several different names. I also enjoyed seeing you sort of crack yourself up in thinking about The Decameron. I've tagged you on a tag that will go up late tonight, The Phenomenal Woman tag, which is an original tag created by Marilyn Maya Mendoza. Hope you're doing well.

John was the only Beatle not to grow up in rented accommodation, he had a middle class accent until his late teens, he however felt like a working class fish out of water as both his parents were working class. His Fatheri s I think viewed too harshly as a deadbeat, Albert was dumped in an orphanage with 4 other siblings on the death of his mother, John was needlessly cruel to a man less privelaged than himself.

Mc Cartney was savvy enough to dismiss Goldman's book as it damaged the Beatles legacy, the claims made by Goldman are now accepted by serious biographers , those not beholden to Yoko or Paul.

Goldman was interested in selling books, and the way to do that was to feed the egos of the outraged American Right (especially the Evangelical Right). Would you trust a biography of Kamala Harris written by Donald Trump? It would sell though.

Hello Ursula, serendipitous that I tripped over your video this morning. Thank you for reminding me of this old biography! I'm going to dig it out and read it again. It came out when I was 20. At the time it was considered scandalous not just because it revealed truly negative things about John, like his histories of sexual, physical and emotional violence, but mostly because it spoke to a fandom who wished John to be the myth he constructed and marketed rather than just a man with flaws and virtues like any other, of topics that at that time suffered an extreme degree of social stigma: John's bisexuality (at the height of the aids crisis), John's struggles with mental illness (back then it was seen as a character flaw) and his long involvement in substance misuse (at a time when almost nothing was understood about self-medication or addictive disorders). In the decades since Goldman published, confirmation of John's bisexuality has come repeatedly from Yoko and from John's friends; no one writing seriously on the topic now fails to account for how John's life was shaped by his mental illnesses; and attempts at understanding and analysing the effects of John's constant substance use from his teens to his death are being made. Crucially, in 2024 these things ARE NO LONGER SEEN as nasty stigmatising things to say about a person. Being bi or gay is now recognized as common, normal, and respectable. Dealing with mental illness is also now recognized as common and having no more moral implication than dealing with diabetes or asthma. Substance use and misuse also, is now better understood than ever. It's easy to make an argument that a man 45 years dead has no current cultural relevance. I believe tho, that John Lennon does have current cultural relevance. Not as his mythic celebrity persona, but as the real man with a very complicated life who is now an important historical figure- and because of those very things that were considered scandal in 1988. It is a mistake to attempt revival of mythologies marketed for 1970s fandom hype when there is so much to be gained in the reality of the 21st century from examining historical truths calmly and with compassion. Goldman didn't like John, and that bias is stated in his book. But in this world where lawsuits fall as easily as rain, this biography was cleared by the legal department of his publisher, and the book did not result in a single lawsuit being lodged by anyone. All respect of course to people you met in the early 2000s who said it was all lies, Goldman did have a great deal of evidence behind what he published: He conducted 1,200 interviews for this biography during the early 1980s when memories were very fresh. The Albert Goldman Papers, which include a great deal of audiovisual material, are considered extraordinarily valuable and are housed at Columbia University Library, Altho you have not examined them, nor for that matter have I, I expect Mccartney, who has his reasons for closeting John, has had his lawyers examining them since before publication. The Goldman collection has since been used by others as sources for their books on John and the Beatles. Indeed, it's difficult to find a serious work that does not cite it.