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I haven't tuned in to your channel in a while.... and I know that it might seem weird to you that I even bother or care.... but it makes me really happy that you seem like you're doing better then you were years ago.... my name isn't max bortnick.... it's Kevin but....blah blah blah... google...android... youtube..yada yada

Hope everything has been going well.... sorry if I've ever come off as being a bit overbearing... but I do care and hope you're doing well... best wishes, Kevin

How's school been going?

I'm doing very well. Financially things could be better but spring is almost here and I managed to get through the awful winter months without too much depression

I know you probably don't care what I think and wished I didn't care.... but I'm proud of every day you make it through... I know how hard it can be.

Every time you post a video I'm so happy and relieved that you're still with us... as heavy and dark the clouds over your head get.... all the misery, and panic, and madness, and deep thought... it can lead to something.... and it gets easier... thanks for hanging in there :)

hi! ur great!

S'all good, you basically summarized what I was trying to say. On that note, I'd like to say that I'm glad you are no longer in that situation.

It's not technically just about me, it's people in general, but I appreciate your advice.

my advice is to try to understand them the way you want to be understood....and if the differences are too great... thn you shouldnt be friends.... itll just result in misery on both sides.... but try talking to them about it.... people are egotistical... they like to feel different then those.other people...

im sorry that you're not having a good day. Everybody has a unique mind and experiences that make it up. Sometimes people get frustrated and hurt when they feel neglected by people they care about. pain will lead people to do and say things they don't mean.

just going to drive till im out of money, then find a job wherever i end up. Been feeling really alone and depressed for a number of reasons and i need to snap out of it.

a lot of people have told me they like getting lost. Im hoping that it works for me, im leaving home without a destination. im juat

What makes me happy? Getting lost. By that, I mean on a trail or in a book or just...anywhere. Somewhere outside with trees and grass. I actually miss having my dog too. Many therapists actually suggest pets such as dogs to help combat anxiety and depression. They're really great stress relievers...maybe that's because they lick your face when you look sad. :)

Definitely, we already talked about this over text but I'll remind you because I can, that once I have my meeting, I will let you know for sure what you can do. Right now, I'm looking for people to tell me what sorts of stigmas they face as well as any questions they might have regarding mental illness. I plan to present it to the public in an open session.

what kinds of things make you happy? When I get depressed I like to watch videos of puppies. I really miss having a dog. Being around animals always makes me feel better no matter dog depressed i am.

I hope it's useful to you!- the program I mean. :)

to put things into perspective a bit.... people like me are kind of... targeted in the southern states.

You are to smart and too strong to keep being petrified of the world... and I know you're probably going to pull some. "You don't get it, I'm fucked up and hopeless" crap.... but as heavy as the world seems.... the only scale for it is in your own mind.

I'm about to a lot of things in the next few weeks that scare the living shit out of me... I'm honestly afraid I might die.... Ive only left new england once in the past 14 years, and have never lived elsewhere. Next week I'm going down to florida which is basically americas asshole.... then after I drive back up through the south, I'm driving down south again through the desert, so I can live in a mobile home I built in california... I'm basically fucked if anything goes wrong.....so it goes.

....Breathe... I promise you, you will be fine... You're still here.

Breath, you'll be ok... you're still here. The world is a scary place... but piece by piece you're going to learn to stop being terrified... but you have to accept that progress involves facing things you're afraid of. And you will get better and better at doing that, as you do it. Maybe it will be aweful and not work out.... but at least you did it.

First off, you aren't fat... also, just as little as other people don't know what you think, you know nothing about them... not everyone is a judgmental monster that picks you apart. The only difference I noticed was once and a while when frustrations grew, the slamming things around that worried me a bit.. you will never know what happens in other people's minds... and you're going to destroy yourself worrying about it.

I know its probably annoying that I always put in my 2 cents about most of your videos, but through years of losing my mind, I've had a lot of experiences... one of them being living with someone who was bi-polar and had issues with eating. So I figure my outside perspective may be of some value.

That's understandable. It's one of those things that even though it may seem like an overreaction to other people, it's a fear driven response- and fear is a powerful thing. I avoid answering the phone as much as possible. Even when I do answer the phone, I end up stuttering, crying or not being able to speak at all. You can't say it "gets better with age" because it doesn't. It gets better with help. Don't feel ashamed, though. Never.

There's nothing rational about anxiety disorders. Calling or receiving calls from someone unknown are a big trigger for me. I'm a grown woman and I've had colossal tantrums to avoid being the person who calls in a food delivery order.

world, and people are going to notice. Nobody is invisible. It's up to you to surround yourself with people who care and nurture and accept every part of you, who won't criticize or belittle you, people who understand the anxieties and the illnesses and are willing to adapt to what you need from them. We do exist. We might not always make the first move, but we are there when you need us.

for being themselves, anxieties and quirks and illnesses alike, because someone, somewhere, is looking for someone with those very quirks and is ready to not only accept and tolerate them, but embrace and develop them. Had I not embraced the fact that I am destined to have tall friends, I would have never developed the friendship that I have with you or Karen, and that would have sucked. Word vomit aside, what I'm trying to say is that there are judgmental people and non-judgmental people in the

who love and care about me who send me pictures of baby sloths when I'm having a bad day because they know it'll cheer me up. If I focus on the people who think I'm weird because of it, I'll lose that connection with the people I love. It takes a lot of self-actualization to get to that point, to know that people are judging you and yet still doing it and being you, but that's what this whole "safe space" thing is about, right? Giving students a feeling of security that they will not be judged

I think at the end of the day, people are going to judge you and notice things about your life that you don't want them to, and it's up to the people who try to be non-judgmental and open-minded and all of the things that are being accomplished with UNBSU to prove to those people that are being judged that the qualities they are being judged for are the very qualities that make them some of the best people. I reeeally like sloths, and some people think that's really weird, but then I have people

and i know it isnt that simple... I spent the majority of my life really terrified of going out in public...I guess at some point something just changed...

I work in at a high end cosmetics store as their janitor... yeah...people are judgemental... and I know they don't like how I look....but fuck em.

Everyone tells me that, Kevin, it isn't just you.

I certainly wasn't trying to lie to you. I don't use twitter and rarely go on facebook. i don't really have time in my life for shallow judgemental people.. and I know that seems too simple, but they don't matter.

well... thank you... I know I appreciate it.

I'm here for other people, not me.

I never fit in either, but then I remembered once when they gave me an iq test...and in was in the top 10% of the population...and I started having a little more faith in myself... when I realized all the people who thought I was crazy, were just...simple...and you don't need to impress them.

All the faults you see in yourself...start thinking of them as gifts.... I know you didnt ask for or want them, and wish you could give them away...but all that anxiety can be used as motivation. you just have to find out how to make it work for you. it might take a while, but you'll get better at it every day.

those people have more reason to be envious of you then you do of them. You're obviously smart. dumb people dont analyze everything and worry all the time....and as hard as it is to believe, you are an attractive girl, I hope you eventually realize that... you're still young, and fiendships are going to come and go your entire life. You're there for you, not anyone else. I see golden people i used to know every day, who probably.are wishing they could have done better.

half those girls end up spending the whole time getting drunk, and end up with huge debts, waiting tables.

Im afraid of a lot of things. being poisoned or drugged, being homeless, falling on ice, economic collapse, surveillence cameras, losing my sanity,...sometimes just go to sleep because im worried i might not wake up.... Sometimes I can get carried away with paranoia, but those times keep getting shorter and father between.

judging you...they aren't they'll forget about you 5 minutes, and in that 5 minutes, they still don't care... and the people you're moving in with, they probably aren't as perfect as they seem. as time goes on they'll turn into a speck of your life.

you really are too hard on yourself... when you go out, those people you think are judgi g yo

I'm sure your meeting will go fine. Nobody is asking or expecting you to have all the answers in such a short period of time. It's all kind of up to the university what happens, because its their resources that are being used...and im sure they probably have a lot of different outlets that you aren't aware of. Theres no reason to worry, it will work out fine.

WW and orientation are the same thing & while the flyers would be useful as good reminders, it won't help us figure it out before they get there. I'll definitely mention the flyers & website ideas, though.

I pretty highly doubt people interested would be targeted for harassment or judged... but given the effects of anxiety, it may make people more comfortable if details about times, locations, and whats provided, were made available by request instead of publically advertised

or is welcome week the same as orientation?

What time is welcome week in relation to orientation? or is it the same time. I was thinking a flyer could be included with the other introductory papers they give out. i don't think general distribution would he a problem. people who it doesn't apply to will just disregard it, or maybe they know someone it may benefit whos also attending the university. also the universities website, as well as non official websites and message boards for that university.

Thanks! That'll definitely help during the rest of the year to come. There are so many spots to put up posters and things around the university- houses included. I'm not sure that it would work for Orientation week, though since no one is really there. I'll definitely suggest that for use throughout the rest of the year though. :)

I sure hope so, I'll need lots of help though. Thanks, Charlie!