Meet Dimitri. He leaves the company event thinking, Why can’t you just be normal? A talented Scrum Master, Dimitri excels in his leadership role, earning praise from his managers. But there’s one challenge he can’t seem to overcome-connecting with senior executives.
He’d been preparing to meet Amir, the company’s COO, for weeks at the event. Dimitri admired Amir and saw this as a golden opportunity to make an impression. But when the moment came, anxiety took over. Standing at the bar, Amir glanced at Dimitri. Instead of seizing the chance, Dimitri looked away, his inner voice whispering, He doesn’t want to talk to you. You’re a nobody.
Later, an introduction at dinner gave Dimitri a second chance, but fear struck again. His response was awkward, leaving him feeling defeated. By the night's end, Dimitri couldn’t stop thinking about his struggles and wondering why he found it so hard to connect.
Jay sits down with Brett McDermott, entrepreneur and host of Persistence Playbook, to unpack Dimitri’s story. Brett, an expert in communication and charisma, shares actionable insights to help anyone facing similar challenges. They explore overcoming social anxiety, improving self-confidence, and building meaningful connections with others.
If you’ve ever hesitated to start a conversation, felt held back by fear, or struggled to connect in professional settings, this episode is for you.
Timestamps
[01] Dimitri's story
[02:31] Introduction to Brett McDermott
[04:14] Brett’s personal development journey
[06:36] Brett's trigger for personal growth
[08:21] The impact of "Thinking to Grow Rich"
[10:19] Influence of communication skills
[12:54] Learning from great communicators
[15:00] Fear of rejection in social situations
[16:26] Practicing social skills
[17:17] Setting goals for networking
[18:07] Preparing icebreaker questions
[19:25] Building confidence through mindset
[20:25] Using fear as an ally
[21:28] Unique perspectives in conversations
[25:29] Posture and projecting power
[29:43] The importance of presence
[31:04] Building eye contact skills
[33:05] The 50/70 rule of eye contact
[36:00] Crafting engaging questions
[37:44] Starting the conversation
[39:24] Researching connections
[40:03] Advice for Dimitri
[42:55] Closing thoughts
[43:37] Key insights
[45:01] Actionable takeaways
[46:08] Eye contact rule
[47:33] Next episode teaser
Notable Quotes
[06:36] "The first personal development book I read was Think and Grow Rich. It made me realize I could improve myself and do great things if I committed to it." - Brett McDermott
[40:45] "If there was one piece of advice, I would say to treat communication as a skill. This is a skill that you can build." - Brett McDermott
[43:37] "Giving yourself grace, you're human. If you mess up, if your fear takes over, don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that you're going to keep trying." - Jay Abbasi
About Our Guest
Brett McDermott is a renowned expert on the fundamentals of powerful communication. His obsession is teasing out the habits and tactics that today's most charismatic communicators share and then breaking these down in an easily learnable way for his students. His mission is to help people build powerful communication skills so they can more effectively push their mission forward.
Resources and Link
🎙️ Unstuck Podcast
Website: jayabbasi.me/podcast
Apple: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meet-dimitri-mastering-charisma-and-connection/id1757296131?i=1000678138432
Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/4SjdIYxnOYSMx5xUnNZvig?si=be68193a52f04d37
TH-cam: @jayabbasipodcast
Jay Abbasi
Website: jayabbasi.me/
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/
Instagram: jayabbasi_
Facebook: thejayabbasi/
TH-cam: @jayabbasipodcast
Brett McDermott
Instagram: thebrettmcdermott
Persistence Playbook Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/persistence-playbook/id1665299767
Charisma 25 Course: brett-mcdermott.mykajabi.com/charisma25-landing-page?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaYzGyTDwaeE3SPyDWkRWiaeCKhhhi12IlMIEN0CHFcl-AqFY_t2okv9R7s_aem_FNSjh_E9FTlIaZTpPSFLRw
Website: brettmcdermott.nyc/
TH-cam: @PersistencePlaybookwithBrett
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/the-brett-mcdermott/
Mentioned
How to Win Friends and Influence People: www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034
Think And Grow Rich: www.amazon.com/Think-Grow-Rich-Landmark-Bestseller/dp/1585424331
How to Talk to Anyone: www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X