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I don't know how to describe psychosis. I mean, I've had it for so long that it's also in my personality. I'm so isolated by nature that it's no surprise I make friends with clouds and power lines. I still don't know how to describe psychosis. It's so out there. I would say that it's almost like a fever with singing spheres. The stars drift in the sky, so far. You drift around. All they do in the west is try to focus us on now, your work, making children, and dying with a few snacks between, a plastic truck painted blue? That's the reason we're all going AWOL as a nation. We have all the parts of humanity but a soul. We're all getting mentally and physically sick due to all the rules and traps that they're trying to silence while saying we have free speech. I guess we are to work, buy goods and services, and in turn, we spent our money on other goods that benefit us. We don't even have time to enjoy that blue truck or raise kids properly. Plus, we are number one terrorists, the US is. Our sins will be televised, and I'll have to learn many lessons from an 18 year-old male or female. Honey, if you want people off drugs, you'll have to destroy the CIA, as they pump drugs to keep people down. Where are all the competent science and math students? Sure, some survive at STEM schools but not many. The lone champion is still pushing people under. They think I'll be embarrassed. Good luck. Good luck. Bring it on! How low can I go?

Why did you cut your hair already it was short 😂✂️

I can so relate to plus size shopping as someone of short stature. It's basically a hit or miss for me, but I'm always able to find something that fits - especially when it comes to pants of one kind or another and shorts. My usual go to store is Kohl's because they have a better selection for me than any other store. Thank you so much for posting this video because I've always wondered what other women who are also of short stature and who are also plus size happen to experience when it comes to shopping for new clothes. Other than that, I made it to 6 years of continuous sobriety.

I wish we could have seen the purple dress you were wearing as your thumbnail!💜💜 I LOVE your lipstick! Miss you lady!

You guys are so cute!! I love that he did your HC!!! I did my husbands. Hope you got a good scissor! I def needed that.

Yay! Hi Scott!

I couldn't stop laughing throughout this whole video. I was laughing so hard at the beginning to the point that I was crying and my stomach hurt. This aside, I couldn't stop laughing at the end since you guys looked a little bit alike at the end when you were done with Scott's make-up - even though his skin tone is a lot darker. With all of this being said, OMG, you guys were just hilarious throughout this whole video. In your next video or so, I'd love to hear your take on dealing with mental illness symptoms and being in early recovery during a global pandemic - even if it takes multiple videos to do so.

Scott did such a good job cutting your hair. How soon can he book a flight to Cleveland to shave my head? Or can he do it virtually? On a different note, R.G. you're definitely the bees knees here on TH-cam!!

You're such a trooper!! You get 2 thumbs way up for doing what you can to stay as sane as you can during these uncertain times. Hugs!!

OMG!! Your hubby could use some lessons for learning how to not put a woman's makeup on her in a way that's not so darned heavy. He did a good job with the lipstick and the concealer, but OMG, everything else needs some major help from the expert in the house!! Other than that, I'm happy that Dobby made a few appearances!! Overall, this was a very funny video because I was laughing throughout the whole thing. Tell Scott to never change his sense of humor because he's quite funny!!

Wow. What a unique parent's perspective. You're Mom did a great job telling her story.

OMG to the max R.G.!! You're such an amazing woman and inspiration!! Keep up the good work in staying sober one day at a time, one step at a time. I'm so proud of you for being sober for as long as you have been so far!! Keep on being the Energizer bunny that you are when it comes to wanting to go to any length to be well, stay well, and passing on what you know to the next person!! <3 ya R.G. Tanner!!

You're a totally awesome inspiration to me R.G.!! One of the things I'd like to see you talk about is having a good sense of humor and finding the humor in every day life - having a mental illness (or not). <3 ya sister!!

You're not a burden to anyone. You belong here with all of us because you've helped me out a lot in the short time that I've known you. Please know and understand that you're not alone in contemplating suicide because I've been there more than once in my lifetime so far. I used to cut my left arm and to this day, I still have the scars from that. Thank you for posting this video and all of your other vlogs because I appreciate your honesty about mental health issues. Your vlogs so far have helped me understand what you go through on a daily basis with your Schizophrenia diagnosis and other things. Thank you for being honest about everything that concerns your mental health diagnoses. You're a great asset to my own recovery from my own mental health diagnoses (Major Depressive Disorder, P.T.S.D., and Anxiety Disorder) and the reason we met in the first place. You're a wonderful and beautiful person!! <3 ya R.G.!! Hugs from me and my dogs to you, your husband, and Dobby!!

I totally love the picture of Humphrey the spider. Even though I don't like spiders at all, I'll take a picture of your spider friend Humphrey any day.

You're such an amazing person!! Keep up the good work in wanting to end the stigma surrounding mental illness!! <3 ya sister!!

This was honestly so interesting and described so well! I love hearing others perspectives and learning from it!!

When I see these videos, I realize that I have it pretty good. Having your guy cut your hair for you is a great bonding experience. I have been having my husband cut my hair for me since we first met. Our routine is that every other month I take a seat on the stool, he sets out a glass of wine for me, I get caped, my elbow length hair combed out with a wide tooth comb, Center parted, sectioned just behind my ear on each side and he pins up my Thick hair with hair clips. He blunt cut trims the bottom layer of my hair with his sharp hair shears, and then he lets my hair down in increments to trim each layer. He has me turn my head to the side so he can match the hair in the front with the back. He holds sections from each side of my head under my chin to ensure it is even. He cuts my hair dry so he can see and remove the split/damaged ends. He does the trimming in increments So that he is cutting a manageable amount of hair, as if he tries to cut through too much at once, the blades push the hair before they cut, leaving it uneven. I used to pay $55 for a haircut when my hair was collarbone length, now that it is past my elbows, they would be charging me more like $100. So I figure I am definitely saving several hundred dollars a year. He would never put my hair in ponytails, use a razor, thinning shears or point cut my hair as that would cause split ends. My best friend asked me years ago who did my hair as she needed a haircut and was not happy with the way the salon she had been going to cut her hair and she liked how mine looked. When I told her that my guy cuts my hair, she wanted to come watch him do it. I told my guy and he was fine with it and asked if I wanted him to cut her hair for her. I said yes, if she asked. Well she came by, watched him intently as he cut my hair, complimented his work, then as he was taking the cape off of me, she said, “I’m next!”. He said you are indeed and she took a seat. She wanted about an inch and a half off her mid back length hair, so he caped her, did the full routine on her hair. When he finished, she went to the bathroom to check the results and I got her a hand mirror to check the back. She was pleased and asked if she could book her next appointment. So she gets her hair cut by my guy regularly and does not miss the salon. Hubby also gives my twonteen boys their haircuts every three weeks, saving me lots more money, they like his work. You had him trim just a small amount off so it was barely noticeable, no one ever notices that I had my hair trimmed. That is a very good thing. Nothing drastic, no tears. I would suggest you get a cape and stylist combs for the next time. I would call your first home haircut a success, I would say you have a new stylist and the price is right. Your husband looked like he was enjoying cutting your hair, and you enjoyed having him do it.

Beautiful! I miss you, lady.💜

Great thoughts! Definitely a great time to unite & support one another. 💗

The mystic swims with delight in the same waters of which the psychopath drowns

I cured my schitzophrenia. U manifest hallucinations as a result of fear. Ultimately schitzo results from you detatching from reality thus you are forced to go within. You rely on yourself for your own joy. You are just having your expanded imagination hijacked by fear which ultimately uses ur imagination against you. You are becoming awakened. Stop looking at it as fighting a disease and instead look at it as you fighting your fears. Alchemy is the process of illuminating ones soul by feeling fear and experiencing dillusions while remaining grounded and focused on the part of you within that cannot be destroyed. You are pure conciousness and you have to learn to identify with that rather than ego. I went through the rabbit hole and now im high on life damn near all the time bc its not fighting a disease you are becoming an enlightened being👽🤟🏻

You're doing a great job! Good job articulating all of this so well.

Random, but I love your shirt!

With your down time, what movies do you like to watch? Or what do you like to do in your down time to keep your mind healthy?

Your mom seems great ^^ I'm glad you had/have her support. My mom was not supportive at all. I never saw a psychiatrist until I was 18 when I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, but all my therapists have agreed that it was early onset. They seem to have divided opinions on just how early. Some said since I was little and others have said around puberty at 12/13. My current therapist seems to think it was around 11/12 bc, she says, what I experienced before then could be explained by depression, anxiety (due to environment), or normal kid stuff. She says that it's likely I did have actual imaginary friends that my mind turned into hallucinations as I got older and developed schizophrenia. I guess I'll never know for sure. I do know I experienced a lot of stress regarding sleep, nightmares, was constantly afraid of my parents and paranoid about every decision I made/thing I did, and had trouble relaying emotion (except at random times I would cry for no reason; my mom actually made fun of me a lot for that. It happened almost always anytime directly before I'd get bad sick or feverish). It's funny bc I remember her always complimenting me on my 'stoicsim,' saying how well I handled everything. After getting to know me, doctors actually brought it up with the suggestion that maybe I should talk to someone, but my mom just took it as a compliment and wrote them off. Anyway, it was nice hearing this part of your story ^^ I look forward to more Mom Chronicles <3

Hi Lori! I loved this! Having a mother's prospective is probably an eye opening moment or experience on your side, as well as others. I liked this video, keep it up girlie!💛

That has to be horrible :( But your husband is right: You are beautiful. And I'm not the type of person to say that just to make someone feel better either lol. I was wondering: what's the difference between body dysmorphia and something like anorexia or bulimia? Are those types of body dysmorphia? When I was growing up, my mom was always obsessed with controlling my diet. Like I was on weight-loss diets as young as 4th grade (which in the US is 10 years old. idk how that works elsewhere lol) even though I was never obese or even chubby. She'd make me weigh myself in front of her and hated buying me bigger clothes (even though obviously I was at an age I was still growing) because she saw it as me getting fat, eating food behind her back, etc and I was even grounded several times for gaining a few pounds, for my pants getting tight, or even bc she suspected that I was lying to her about what food I was eating. So I ended up developing anorexia and a binge eating problem. I'd always think I was fat and ugly and would starve myself. I even tried making myself throw up only to discover I have no gag reflex. The problem persisted through to adulthood and I would get scared that my wife would leave me if I gained weight. I've finally gotten over it though I do sometimes feel fat and ugly, but I think it's normal for people to feel that way sometimes.

Oh what a little charmer ^^ My dog is like that too- anytime I'm out with him he's always stealing the show lol. That's so freaking sweet about how y'all got him at the humane society and instantly clicked with him. I had a cat once who was like that. I volunteered at the cat shelter and the highlight of my week was getting to see Mollie (aka Fat Princess) ^^ She was an old manx and my wife adopted her for me as a surprise. How old is Dobby now? and does he give you trouble with the sweaters? (so cute btw) I'm glad you have him. It sounds like he is an amazing emotional support animal <3 I'll have to do a video about my babies ^^

I SEE DOGGO! ^_^ Sorry you've been feeling sick. HUGS. Very well said about mental health and physical health being so intertwined. I've been where you are with hallucinating bad because I was physically sick and also I've also gotten physically sick because my mental health was poor too. Hope you kick it the rest of the way! Rest up ^^ (also, I want to hear more about Humphrey)

What a great gift ^^ NBC is awesome ^^ I have a pair of black gloves with Jack's face on them in glow in the dark. Ooo I'd love to read your writing. Do you ever share any of your stuff online like on Wattpad or anything? I love horror. I'm not in touch with my mom, but she never liked my writing either. Dude that's awesome about the film effects and such. Badass. Interesting about the boxing ring too. I loved debate, public speech, and interpersonal relations. I LOVE BELLYDANCING! Not doing it, but watching lol. I wish I could dance, but I have bad bones and two fake hips so just walking is a chore. Diana Bastet and Mahafasoun are my favorite belly dancers. They do metal. Very well said about having an illness, not being an illness ^^ It took me a long time to realize I'm not my sicknesses (mental or otherwise). This is a great challenge! I'm going to do it too ^^ Thanks for sharing and sorry for my tendency to leave longass comments lol.

aww y'all are so sweet <3

Your hair looks super cute! And you're so very right! I've dealt with schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia and major depressive disorder) and PTSD since I was really young; finding and expressing my own style always makes me feel so much better regardless of what other people think about it. There are countless different types of beauty. Just because one person prefers one kind of beauty, doesn't mean that the other kinds aren't also beautiful ^^ And if no one has told YOU, you're beautiful ^^ I did follow your blog btw. Thanks for sharing your stories! I'm just getting back into vlogging and did a search and your channel popped up ^^ Look forward to hearing more from you

That's really interesting. Everyone I've met with Fibro has also had some sort of mental illness. They've all said that cannabis has helped them. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, but I'm glad you've found something that is helping!

You are a badass! I love your lipstick!

Misadventures?seems pretty normal to certain extent

Even though I live right near you and the Java Jo's, I always end up going to Beans and Brews. I get their, Mr. B - with extra white chocolate and caramel drizzle. Cheers to R Squared!☕

Hi Lori!😊

The thunder and lightning while camping was proof of how amazingly powerful and amazing nature can be. Your Vegas trip sounds like it was amazing. I can’t wait to hear more of your amazing adventures.

That was a beautiful video and ceremony. I feel fortunate to have been involved in it. Great fun was had and great memories were made. You guys are a great couple and your personalities compliment each other perfectly. I have always liked to see how happy “Alice” I mean Scott makes you.

That is a great story. I love hearing it. I am so glad I have been able to see how happy you two are together. Can’t wait to see what the future has for you guys!

Yes!!!! A close circle of trust is so important when reality lines get blurred! Love this video.

Yes!!!! Finding the right medication cocktail takes time and trial and error. I forgot my funny moments in finding the balance. Thanks for reminding me!

I love your wedding photos!💜👰

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!💜💜💜💜 Hiiii Scott!

Hey that's me!! I got your back amiga! You are killing it! I love you.💜 Now enough mental cheese and let's go get some real cheese.😅🧀🗡