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I have tha same hole in my heart

i have a hole that needs filled with a very close relationship (and maybe a phallus lmao). Ive got tons of friends and I love them all to death. Honestly, we're emotionally closer than most friends. however i need someone who can hug me and make me feel safe. I think we all use each other really but in a symbiotic way. Using people is fine as long as you give back, which you will if you love each other. Using people is fine as long as you're a symbiote and not a parasite. As long as you're all in the know and ok with how youre using each other. I'm not really dating or anything. I figure I'll meet someone when I meet someone, but I do frequently just wish someone was there to hold me tight. Someone to make me feel safe

How refreshing to listen to a self-aware and articulate young man. Me, someone's granny in North Yorkshire. It used to be so straight forward meeting boys/girls in the 60s! ☎🎸💜☕🍷🥎🏳‍🌈🍵

I decided 2 days ago to go on a dating app. Installed it but did not complete the process. Then this video. I am extremely lonely and only want that feeling to go away. I also just want friends. Why am I lonely? Very heavy question..

Going into 2025, I feel a deep sense of loneliness because I no longer have close friends or "main friends" to call daily, hang out with on weekends, text with genuine connection, or play games with. I have plenty of hobbies: I go to the gym, play instruments, work on 3D animation, and love story-based games, but I’ve only ever done these things alone, without anyone to share them with on a friendly or romantic level. This complete lack of a social life sometimes makes me desperate. I find myself texting random people I follow on Instagram just for attention or a small dose of connection. People often tell me to "just go out and meet people," but where exactly do I go? I’ve already graduated from school, so my former classmates have moved on to new paths and new circles of friends, while I’m here at home playing video games alone, fingerpicking my guitar for no one, and lifting weights by myself. Even my childhood friends are long gone. Some still live nearby, but it feels pointless to reach out now after years of silence, as life has taken us in different directions. I don’t think I want a romantic relationship right now. I just need connections. I need friends, people I can interact with regularly, people who bring warmth and meaning to my days.

Never expressed any of this to anybody, ever I'm 22, 6'3, rugby player build, have a decent car and rent a decent flat, most people say and act like I'm attractive, I get looks off girls and speak charismatically but I haven't been with a girl in over 2 years, haven't been in a relationship since I was 15 if that even counts. No mates outside the blokes I get on with when I see them at work, deleted all my social media at 16 and if I didn't have my little brothers I'd have nobody. Actually writing this down is surreal but on new years eve I told my family I was going to a party I was invited to but I actually drove out to the city by myself and looked for something, anything, walking into pubs full of groups of people having a good time, queuing at the bar for a drink and leaving after a minute thinking whatever I'm looking for wasn't here. Ended up at a gig dance club where it was easier for a loner to blend in, spent 20 minutes queuing at the bar for a drink which is where I also entered the New Year, watching everyone like I was in a glass box looking into other people lives. Walked onto the dance floor, through dozens of circles of little friend groups dancing, I suppose hoping I'd come across a girl alone like me to no avail, once I'd awkwardly shuffled through about a hundred people walked straight out the exit and back to my car, drove to a lay by where I slept. Loneliness isn't even the word anymore, I'm just numb mate. Numbness of my own accord, I just can't shake the feeling that I'll always be alone because even though I look normal, speak normally and do normal things I'm somehow just a strange bloke and to even bother going out of my way to find a girl I'd be genuinely happy with is a completely fruitless endeavour because when it crashes I'll be sadder than I was before and that numbness will simply accelerate. Finding genuine mates is a 10x fruitless endeavour because of the way we are here, like the less effort you put in the more likely it is a lad wants to be your mate, and it's intensified by our age group, I'm lost really. One day I feel I'll wake up and be 33 and it'll be the same. I'm just lost man, years of this has just left me numb, sad and tired. I suppose it's all on me, I hide it well but I'm just a handsome self pitying loser

i don't think that i need a girlfriend before founding this video on my youtube home yesterday, but i added it into my watch later playlist. however, i got into a some kind of break up in the middle of the last year and still recovering from it. i am aware of my loneliness feeling and that is why i am not interested in dating right now. but, your analogy of this "hole" thing is really helpful to me. i am always wondering why some people says that "healing journey oftentimes feels lonely", and i think your analogy is some kind of answer my question. i think when you're in the healing journey, the dirt you used for cover the "loneliness hole" is used on another hole for your self improvement. that is why it feels lonely-because you're not balancing the hole. thanks bro your analogy is really helpful

I had a friend like this. I feel like it deeply stems from insecurity & trauma. Going from one person to the other seeking attention and dopamine hits down to the serial cheating. It was so draining & toxic and she refused help as well. But I feel like the step towards solving this is being aware and then working through the traumas. Good video!

But the real question is still.. Why do I still have that hole and feel lonely? I do not have the answer

Fuck you, TH-cam. Why you gotta recommend something out of the blue so randomly that relates so much to me. Bloody making me have a tear in my eye. Great video man.

I really do love your video dude! I despised dating apps for a long time and I still do to a degree. I have to say I have met some wonderful people on them that have genuinely changed my life in a positive way. Yet I don't feel I go looking for people to date anymore I rather just look for people I can share a hobby with to make friends and through that I have felt much less attached to just swiping for the instant gratification and more using it to find people I might connect with. In that process I guess I have found people I want to date which is nice but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone because it is so easy to fall into that trap and I wish that people could meet easier in real life. I think the most valuable thing I have done is just learn to love myself and understand that no one is really going to motivate me as much as I do myself and no one is going to do as much for me as myself. This just helps me focus on my hobbies and passions really

Great video. I have a slightly different take on this. For most of my life, I did not worry about not getting in a relationship, I loved talking to girls and I had a lot of girls whom I friendzoned or vice versa, but I was never worried...until one day all of a sudden 5 years raced by, I am 27 and continue to be single. Many of my peers are getting married and settling down now, and I am still over here at first base. It's jarring. It's scary, and I feel like I am running out of time which is beginning to make me feel desperate. Like I wasted my youth playing around. The void in my opinion is really a void due to a lack of a proper relationship. No amount of work, hobbies, friends or family can fill it. Settling into a random relationship just to fill the whole is not the way to go either.

I only had 1 girlfriend for 6 months and it didn't change my life much, being in a relationship vs. being single felt more like a side grade and this was a relationship where we never fought and were both mild mannered (her more so than me). It was nice having someone to be romantically involved with but it didn't magically fix my problems and I lost a lot of free time and some money. I'm glad to have had that experience and I'll cherish the memories I made with my ex but it's not something I'm dying to have again, just something I might try again with someone else when I feel like getting around to it.

Great video mate, very well made aswell. Keep it up

Damn thats deep 💯

In my experience, even with a relationship, sometimes the hole still feels empty, especially when you’re dissatisfied - though this could just be due to my own clinginess and my old relationship in question being long distance. Even so, S/Os can’t always be there for each other 24/7, and the loneliness would persist. Lovely video!

Great vid evan been through the same thing last year felt lost, but like you said, you just have to wing it. That's what we're all doing. Keep up the vids man 👍

the only thing you can do is try, life is so short and think how quickly all this time has went by from first school i remember it as vividly as you do today, from those teachers you liked or that one day with that certain smell that just takes you back it’s all part of the journey, and remember to appreciate the journey ( friends and memories you made along the way) and remember you are literally 19-20 , you will get to where you want to be but life is all about experience and happiness no one really knows what’s after death so why waste this time wishing people didn’t think bad of you, i can guarantee people see you trying and these videos for example are very inspirational to just get out there and be yourself, speak your mind and not be afraid of others opinions, real recognise real and you will find the people you are worrying about barely actually exist!!, it’s all in your head, mind over matter… but great video nonetheless keep it up i love listening to these when i do household tasks and it’s nice to hear that someone that i know feels the same way 99% of us do, to this day ❤️⭐️

Everyone’s just winging it is so true nobody really knows what they’re doing

Put the fries in the bag

Beautifully said! ✨

W Rich

Very good wisdom.

Great work i thought this channel wouldve had more subs just from the quality of the video!

The thumbnail, the camera, the text, everything about this video is amazing. I can't wait to see you grow, as a human and as a creator. Ty for this video!

Nice video

Love this bro, been asking myself why since i can remember, never felt so free yet so trapped in everyday life. Love this cause you feel the like minded people

Doing what we really want is not something constant. We may want something one day and lose interest the next. In my personal point of view, we just have to live and do what we need to do. The question of "why" isn't really important because there's no definitive answer to it. We often lie to ourselves to give our lives a meaningful story, but in reality, it doesn't matter. All we need to do is simply live, be in the moment, and that’s all.

Same here !!! Jesus christ are you spying my life?

Keep up the good work man im only 17 and i can relate to everything you have said in the video. Glad i saw this video before getting into the “real world” gonna think about my future now. thank you fir the amazing video👍

Good ass video bro

This is so beautifully crafted, thank you for making this.

Wow man. This is a really great quality video. I was expecting it to have thousands of likes already. Keep up the good work! You’re gonna get the recognition you deserve soon enough

An incredibly heartfelt speech and compilation, beautifully said <3

I love this video! It makes me want to bring a chair to a public place and test out the not caring attitude like you have in the first scene.

I'm trying to want to change, but you're definitely more brave than I am. Best of luck

you’re a beautiful speaker! keep going with this channel, as long as you’re happy you will succeed ❤🙌

25 years of age. Burnt out drug addict that’s just quit his job on a whim and moved back in with his dad. That’s me. I must get clean and realise wtf I really want to do. I also need to stop giving a fuck about what other people think and stop feeling guilty For such a young lad, you’ve got wisdom.

Goofy ahh video

i hope you grow man, i think you deserve that even though youre british

have you ever heard of yungblud? based on the video I think you'd like him

Don’t know why I stayed but so glad I did, this was fire

You are a well practiced speaker Evan, you use your silence well ;).

Love this. <3

sitting making my morning coffee and making breakfast with this playing in the background, a lot of people feel the same way you do, but it’s so inspiring to see someone who is just going for it, everything you said was valid, love the content keep it up 😊

This video made me realise that the best thing you can do to “self improve” is to get out of your own fucking way

really expected this to have more views - great video! its a question ive been concerned with myself recently, if what i am doing right now is really what i aspire to do most of my adult life. Weirdly, also a year ago i got lost in the woods. I was jogging and lost track of time. it got dark and my phone battery was empty. i was also too stubborn to go back. after almost two hours of not knowing where to go, i got out on the other side of the forrest. i was lucky, that there were people nice enough to drive me back, but i never thought i could gain so much wisdom out of that experience like you did. your video made me think about this again. thank you for making me think :)

Thanks

And you are Lenny in so many ways. Really proud of you Ev and so was he x

I found that in the times of my life where I had wandered the most were the times where I tried to fill my life with things to distract me, weed, porn, video games. All helped fill that empty space in my soul. Something always felt off however, I could never shake the empty feeling. It always persisted, as if a part of me were saying I was lost. I knew it deep down. This is a lovely video, it’s a very important question especially for guys around our age. It’s such a big thing, I see so many guys just doing things just for the sake of them without any real passion