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Agree with you both vehemently. I think it is male biased somehow, how often do we hear whispers of some poor fellow that was wrongfully accused. I find that odd in itself that this is spoken of with such sympathy and females abused are like common place and not much of a reaction from society at all. This must be societal and sadly I feel that it could also fuel the abusers (they all seem to feel "poor them") if you have a weak minded male or one with a weak character it may be the recipe for disaster we are seeing especially as more drug and alcohol use is happening. I do not know but it is rife ... also maybe likely that those in trauma are not thinking clearly at the time of the police intervention( yet the abusers are quick to have an answer for everything) surely causes problems so police should be educated on this pretty important fact as trauma shuts of the feontal lobe the victims cognition will be probably be less and emotions very high. I often wonder why this is such a big issue with so many women ignored and enduring things that they should not. The DV Unit in Qld are different, trained in DV and so knowledgeable go above and beyond. We are so grateful to them. We need the police commissioner to recognise the importance of more of this support. May help to have a trained officer at a first point of contact level (at every station maybe). But definately some basic facts in DV and trauma may help.

@Gemma Dann thank you. When I am on my feet this will now all be my focus. It is beyond dusgraceful. I had my husband pull out my hair and when I reported the next report they had me chase up the first insident. I saw in the reporr that they commented it looked like I had shaved the patch put of the front of my beautiful long hair myself and did nothing of the second assault even though there were 3 witnesses. Another incident of a fellow kicking in a window I was charged then for possession of utensil as it was hos but on my property. Hmm thank you. It is interesting to know how the system has been working. I am seeing and hearing stories more and more. Yep blokes know the system the fellow that caused us distress is pleading innocent when there is evidence of months of harrassment. Now I see why. I do see that we are very lucky to have survived this after watching Jess' series on SBS. I like her next project of bringing awareness to the power control and coercive abuse in the systems next.

Thanks Gemma. Yes indeed it is rediculous and as the DV police said this guy knew the system well. Its crazy what has happened to the men. From provider protector role to now expecting women to mother and be all about them with no rile for them. My dauggter taped me yelling at the stalker but it still shows me saying leave us alone and i only said that because you refused to leave for days even though locked out etc. Mostly I was able to be perfectly honest and in integrity which helped. He sure was a pro, knew human nature too well. Its a terribly calculating mentality we are up against. He was exssperated at the end and jept saying your so strong and pure but O knew he meant I thought I would have broken you by now. I am disabled so he thought he had a needy person. He offered 100k for me to not call the police via messenger so evidence of this plus much else like over 200 calls a day and me saying leave me alone and him saying but he has money and gifts me replying no etc.. He is taking it to trial still and I am prepared for all sorts of tactics. We will see what happens and how the court dates go.

Thank you Gemma. I just watched the second episode on SBS on demand of poor Tamika and baby Charli. Oh the heartbreaking stories of the women fighting in the courts to protect the children from the abuse. Men need guudance and help before they get to this. Societal changes have damaged their psyches so much. The information they share is bizarre as well. The stalker had a list with DV bible on it I queried it and he said He was a DV victim ( more like writing one). Ahh the sites on how to get the girl you want teach narcissistic tactic, so many guys with no or bad role models either see ir read this and if not like this are percieved as weak. It only takes a frailer mind and voila..loose unit. We need reform so badly.

..and cruiseny26 indeed it is a breach if you go against the order and they know this. I also did not know this and the perp told me he would pay me to be his councellor/guru from jail. I could have easily fallen for it. I had no idea the 9 months he was finishing the sentance he was on parole for when he reoffended (stalked, common assault, beach of DVO my children and I). I only found out recently. The police were confident he would not be granted bail but he took it to the supreme court 5 months ago. He has to reside a long way from us and has lots of strict bail conditions. Jailed many times, knows the system well I think they learn more when they go in. Our neighbours pointing their cameras at our house were a saving grace. One thing I learnt is they really do not want to risk getting caught and they know the lines and what they can get away with. I am so astounded at it all. Victims assist set us up with proper cameras on his release. They are one of the systems that works well. Us girls have to spread the info like the guys do. It is dreadful to realise but many men do have a more predatory and calculating mind and the world has changed from what it was.

@@thewayneflyinghigh9128 too many ways to state here. The shame and self hatred felt by some men who are or became violent I think is important to be aware of and the focus on coercive control which many people are only learning about now.