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This was a great Ask Me Anything session!! Can't wait for the next one

We do Christmas our way in quite a few ways... pigs in blankets are the main element of Christmas dinner, we refuse any and all social pressure, baked beans are an acceptable vegetable alternative, and mummy puts the tree down fairly soon after Christmas because it really helps us to get back into a routine. The last time it stayed up into January, we were all over the place 😅😂

This is exciting!!

I get shot down every time on my own child on her needs even as an ex TA 1:1

Thank you for watching; please share how you celebrate your Christmas, YOUR way, in the comments!

No wonder so many parents are deregistering their children and choosing elective home education for their children, especially SEN parents.

I loved wreath making!! Had some compliments from the neighbours!

So, so important. It's really hard when older generations try to undermine this though, the whole 'children should be seen and not heard' attitude is so damaging!

Sending to my friends in Wales struggling with this!!

Ironically, every single child of friends who have been told this have eventually had a ND diagnosis!! 😂

Everyone struggling with trauma should watch this! ❤

Very important, something we are teaching our son very avidly because it's so vital that he's able to share important things with us, tell us what's going on in his life, explain if someone else has hurt him, and be able to advocate for himself!! We teach him to do this by always asking him what HE thinks when something has happened; we want him to feel heard and seen, and trust that adults are listening!

The school avoidance leading to extreme isolation is exactly what happened to us. The many ignorant professionals we came across along the way just made things worse. It makes me so angry that all this was completely unnecessary, my child will not get these lost years back.

My son's school has suggested he may have DLD. Even though he's deaf, he seems to be falling behind at primary school. Examples they've given is him not able to pronounce certain letters in words or his listening (such as his retelling of story time isn't reflective of what's been told). Are these symptoms of DLD?

Preach ❤

I'm sending this to my mum.... 😅 It's suddenly her new phrase "we all have a little autistic or ADHD anyway .... " Uhhuh... And that is why I was 35 when I realised life isn't meant to be this frigging hard

Worked in a nursery for 4 years. Doesn't seem long but I promise it's long enough to get an idea of how big the spectrum is. Anyway yo my point. My manager who got the job because she baby sat for some rich people who decided to open a nursery. I remember telling her that I was concerned a child was on the spectrum as I had noticed a few traits. When I say a few I do mean at least 9. She basically told me that we all have traits and I can't have the kid referred just for 'traits' there needs to be something actually wrong with the kid, as in can't talk, can't make friends, can't independently do things. What I heard was unless they are an issue it's a non issue. I was so frustrated because surely our job is to pick up on these things because we've actually been educated in it. In order for the child to get the best start. Our job is to look at each child as an individual. But according to the nursery unless the kid is a 'problem' it's not a problem. My son is autistic. When I was pregnant I knew that the chance of him having dyslexia was going to be high so I already knew I had a struggle with school ahead. I didn't anticipate that he was autistic, until he was 3 and I was so certain about it by the time he was 4. The only thing his nursery said to me was that he was tired all the time, yet my son had and has always had a strict bedtime routine. However what I didn't know was sometimes he was waking up early and staying up. However when I would tell the nursery about my concerns they kept saying "we don't see any of that". He starts primary 1 in August 2020. Right after COVID lock down. Parents night or any interaction I had with his teacher I was told he really enjoyed the water tray. Turns out they were just sending primary 1 to the nursery. To 'learn through play' learning through play on a water table I can promise you my son wasn't learning anything he was just playing. He didn't learn anything in primary 1 except maybe the days of the week, which a massive problem with school is once they've taught it they stop teaching it. My son has regressed with so many things we have taught him over the years. I've taught him to count to 10, 5 times, I'm not joking either. By the time he was 1 he could count to 10. Then when he was 1 1/2 I noticed he couldn't so I kept teaching him it. Then at 2 I was told from the nursery that he couldn't count to 10. Same when he was 4 and then in primary 2 I was told he still couldn't count to 10. When I know he can, but he proved me wrong. So anyway, kept saying to the teachers I think he's on the spectrum and they said not at all because he is such a pleasant child to work with, never causes any bother and just sits in his own world, oh and also very overly affectionate. They honestly just saw autistic child as problems in my opinion and because my kid isn't a problem, it's a non issue. It gets worse. At the age of 7 I got him diagnosed after years of the school flat out ignoring me. Then autism outreach came out and assessed he needed a 1-1 support in class. The school was like oh we can't do that we have no funding. Best we can do is put him in front of the teachers desk on his own. Yet there are kids who are yet to be assessed who have bad behaviour issues who get 1-1 help at school but my son doesn't. I'm going to be very soon speaking to his teacher and if it doesn't get sorted I'm going to my MP because I'm fed up. Genuinely fed up

Wow, I've never thought of it like this! This is such a great point!! Things like school, work, doctor's appointments, shopping, have always been a nightmare for me trying to navigate. There are SO many things that would be different, if we lived in a neurodivergent-majority world. I sometimes think about all the things I wish were different in everyday life (lighting, noise, dress codes, social expectations, etc) and it can be so frustrating. NT people don't even think there's anything wrong, which says a lot!!

There are a hell of a lot more of us than society would have you believe. I've found the people who say "aren't we all a little bit autistic or adhd" are actually incredibly high masking individuals who have never been allowed to even consider the prospect of them being anything other than 'normal' and the whole "aren't we all just a little bit" is trying to convince themselves that they are normal even though they know they're not. There's often a lot of trauma involved deep down.

They want us to believ that

I have PDA but I intentionally refuse to manipulate people because I hate being around manipulative people. I could But I refuse to !

Thank you for this

I was told on my journal (UC) by a work coach that i could not get anything until my son was diagnosed

if I could, could I request something? would you be able to do a podcast or chat like this with the one Sunshine support for wales, regarding TYFU and if it is fit for purpose, if it is used properly by ALNcos, how parents arent told about it directly etc. apologies I cant remember her name for the welsh IDP side but I personally find its a nightmare and so confusing for parents and ALNcos

if I could, could I request something? would you be able to do a podcast or chat like this with the one Sunshine support for wales, regarding TYFU and if it is fit for purpose, if it is used properly by ALNcos, how parents arent told about it directly etc. apologies I cant remember her name for the welsh IDP side but I personally find its a nightmare and so confusing for parents and ALNcos

You talk too slow. I have ADHD. I don't have enough attention for that speed.

Love this ❤️ thank you x

My so called friends think it's ok to moan about send kids taking the budget from their kids, those poor normal kids are missing out 😂😂😂😂 it's so rude isn't it. People are just rude and don't seem to care what they say nowadays. I would not know how I would have reacted if someone said that to me about my gene pool 😂😂😂 tact used to be a thing 😢 now it's a say what you think arrogance 😢 xx

I find It frustrating when people expect you to perform physical activities or jobs that you can't do and claim your lieing when you have to explain you have a muscle disorder and can't lift something or do something that they think is easy but, Its really bad when its a family member that downright ignores your disability when they want you to do something or get mad at you when your right leg and arm suddenly stop working properly causing your foot to drag with each steep then turn around and brag to everyone around her that she is such a great mother because her 46 year old son was born with no muscle tone and missing part of the brain even mentioning a military injury as if your medical condition is everyone's business. People's perceptions on what they consider an acceptable invisible disability also is misguided for example when i explain what hypotonia is they claim im lieing and lazy but when i mention my damaged shoulder from a military accident suddenly they are understanding and helpful.

ive got a ticket for next cuppa and chat. might pop you a dm

Trauma, is being born and having parents, the rest will just happen

I wish I'd seen this 4 years ago! Glad I didn't see it tomorrow! I am an adult who's world just changed.

True. I have ME (/CFS) making me mostly homebound, so I don't go out much. I am, physically invisible to everyone that don't live in this house with me. They only see me those days when I'm well enough to make it outside. So many with ME don't even make it out of bed. We are after all called the invisible people. That being said, it doesn't mean that people won't take advantage of it anyways. "you're home so you could watch my kids for a few hours" or "can you recive a package for me" or "make a phonecall since you have nothing better to do" or do basically anything without regard of our physical and mental wellbeing. IF we say no we're just lazy and they get salty about it. I've had neighbours place heavy boxes on my wheelchair or place stuff infront of it and when I point that out, they get all pissy and claim "it's just sitting there collecting dust". Just because I can walk on occation doesn't mean that I'm well. I usually come home from an excursion and sleep for three hours. I also have hEDS, AuDHD and depression. At least that's what we know of so far. My son and I compete on who has the most diagnoses. So not only do I have to remind people about my situation I need to make sure he doesn't get spread too thin and can manage school as well as a social life. It's either you're too well to be home so you're just lazy or it must be contagious, we must keep our distance so we don't catch whatever that is. And the "we can't be seen near someone with a disability, even if it is invisible".

Even when my explain my "invisible disabilities" and how it limits me, people forget. Out of sight, out of mind.

I think, sadly, it’s probably due to evolution and survival of the fittest.

Very true 😢

Thank you for video my LA have refused saying my son Ed child should go back to the said school but still feel EOTAS bespoke package will be best suited for him

My youngest was recently diagnosed ADHD as an adult. Doing her psychology degree alerted her to it. She's certain that I have it too. After looking into it I think she's right. 30 years ago I thought the new label was invented by those who hadn't a clue how to handle the more energetic kids. Now I know better. Though my solution of finding something to occupy and engage them was right. I also have c-PTSD which masks ADHD symptoms. I totally agree with you on visibility. No walking aid means we don't stand out in a queue. Have social interaction with us and our vulnerability shows, particularly on a regular basis like working in the same place. Perhaps the discussion with the politically correct agitators needs to be around what they consider to be visible and also on what are the real ways of being both helpful and supportive. Like letting us speak for ourselves. All the best.

I have a family member who many times have had others taken advantage of them due to there Autism but they do have a habit of informing all who will listen of there differences I feel that doesnt help them.

Thank you, needed that reminder today

Thank you Chrissa ❤️😘🙏

My child will say something offensive and it is not for manipulation but to equalize their status and autonomy. For whatever reason they feel a power struggle this helps them to equalize that feeling. I politely respond with a non rattled “is that appropriate ?” Or “do we feel better?”

You're making the assumption everyone is aware they are traumatized 🤔 interesting

What makes a good parent? Tell us your thoughts!

It's called hoops and hurdles....

It's modern day psychological torture, the SEND underworld..i

It's modern day psychological torture, the SEND underworld..

❤

I stumbled across this by accident, but great, and such a widespread problem...Surrey and nationally.... Good morning...sadna xx