'A Sense of Self' is a set of five songs, each about one of the five senses - sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing.
An early version of these songs was written in 2021, partly as a reflection on the impact of the pandemic on what I experienced through these senses - what was absent, what I feared losing, and what I found solace in.
Ultimately, it's a piece about being human, and the magic of the way that we experience the world.
Performed by the Edge Chamber Choir and Hilary Norris (organ), conducted by Ros Crouch. Recorded, filmed and edited by Ben Errington.
1. Light
A carousel of celestial light
dances across my twitching eyelids
as my mind floats like driftwood
in the bleak and blissful space
between tranquil sleep
and agitated consciousness.
I am transfixed by the light.
2. Lavender
After all these years
your scent is still so strong.
The joy you bring,
it gives me the comfort I need,
and it soothes me.
You remind me to breathe.
3. Arms
I feel it now, it's here again.
Its arms are reaching
from another time,
through my hazy mind
towards me.
I feel you now, you're here again.
Your arms hold me now
and the memory returns:
the ecstatic sensation
of another body
in my arms.
4. Saffron
Sweet honey gently roasts
beneath the summer sun
as the grass turns crisp and bright.
Sparks and embers melt the colours
and pure gold lands on my tongue.
My body and mind are nourished;
my dreams, they float
through this vibrant world.
5. Haven
Walls of sound surround me;
I'm covered in noise.
I'm swimming through the waters of another world;
I'm watching as the landscapes are coloured by the stars;
I'm drinking from the fruit that grows behind the moon.
I'm breathing in the air of a different planet.
I'm here in my sonic city;
I'm safe within these walls.