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christ, sounds like me. lol im so fake

Most people can't accept that anyone could be subjected to SA at any time, in any place, and because tonic immobility sets in, your body stops you being able to move, or think, or speak, so there is nothing you can do to stop it. People's minds automatically generate victim blaming myths. "I would have fought them, if you didn't fight or shout for help, you weren't assaulted". Other ones I've heard include, "All doctors are good people, no doctor would ever do that". "Good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people, so if something bad happened to you, then you must have done something to cause it". Not being believed is extremely harmful, and even people who've experienced SA, don't want to believe it. Which is why it's normal, for it to take time, to understand what happened to you. Then unfortunately, if you didn't go to the police straight away, then people accuse you of remembering it wrong. I wish people would accept that bad things happen to good people, that SA is common, and false accusations are extremely rare, so you should believe people, and give them the support they need.

I was doing online adult content for a year. I decided to quit today after my mental health took a nose dive. It only just sunk in why I’m really doing this. I am trying to gain that validation I never got from men and I thought my only value was through sex. So might as well make a career out of it, cause they always say do what you’re good at…it’s been a vicious cycle.

I have a few ocs (original character) who had been/is getting s/a'd and i'm seeking out as much info as I can on the trauma I added to their backstories, and i'm hoping that this video can help me with further understanding their trauma and being able to portray it

You women are so brave thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable and share your stories

I was sexually harased when I was a child and teenager, at 12 my aunt got a new bf that started grooming me that ended with him raping me at 18 that sexual abuse lasted for 3 years. After that horrible period I started hybersexualising myself by prostitution, on the street and bars. I still hypersexualise myself by making porn and showing my body off online, it comes in periods and I hope that one day I wont have the desire to show myself off that way😢

I have experienced everything you have I'm 52 was molested and raped from 3 by my stepfather when I told at 15 she said it was all my fault, now my marriage is failing I hate sex

Thank you love

No pricks....I know my truth, what I have been thru, who did what, and the impact it had on me.

I’m still trying to heal

I feel you Me too

This video has been very helpful thank you so much . Huge eye opener for me so much makes sense to me now .

Self blame leads to self loathing, loss of dignity. D3gradation becomes an 4ddiction. You h4te it but you need it. You cry yourzse4kf to sleep, you sob openly or inwardly, constantly sad and b3aten down. You cope with um1liation and d3gred4tion by embracing it in a vain attempt to overcome it. Disassociation, yes. You're often just an observer watching some self-h4ting 'sl-t' letting herself be used. You h4te the men 4busing you but you transfer those feelings onto yourself because YOU can be pun1shed by yourself. The men are physically stronger than you plus you've given them all the power by submitting. You look in the mirror in disgust, call yourself foul names and sp1t on the reflected image, in face of this filthy, d1sgusting f=== doll while strangely detached from it. Coping mechanism. You pun1sh them by punishing yourself. It makes no sense but that's human behavior. ...and the 4ddiction grows deeper. Many young women like this are devoured by the s--/p--n industry. The people that run that evil industry know exactly what they're looking for. YOU.

Mind fucked. So true. Makes me cry because i deserve pleasure but sexual abuse ruins that.

Thank you for this.

I feel like Im hypersexual due to physical and mental abuse, because honestly i feel like being touched gently in privates, feel way better then being grabbed aggressively or hit hard, or being called names, also i was abandoned so makes me feel like im getting comforted attention.

Hypersexualization in the way I view myself, my worth (I’ve attributed my worth entirely to sex appeal and to hyoersexualizing myself, to my body). THANK YOU for talking about this, I agree so much, NO ONE talks about this and I just don’t understand why- it’s such a confusing and degrading thing to do to yourself and so much self loathing is involved, at least for me… and when no one talks about it, it’s hard to know how to process and heal from it

Ditto. Verbatim. Geez. ❤ Thank you for articulating this so well, and with all of the answers. ❤

I had said yes but I didn’t wanted it then he going around and saying I want it when I was showing him signs i didn’t want it was that rape ?

I have a rule now... if i have to say no twice.. i dont care if its 6 months apart from the time you first asked.. im cutting you off. I think another thing we as survivors struggle with is the contact suggesting and asking after we have said no multiple times.. and then we give in.. and because we finally consented its technically not "grape" .... but to me this is coercion. I can honestly but tragically say that the last few intimate partners i have had were coercion because i remember telling them no a few times.. two of them just took the lead and took it .. and a one just kept asking.. i only remember rarely where it was mutually initiated.

I know a young girl who is in the very early stages of going through this and has opened up to me. Videos like this help but I still feel out of my depth in being able to help her.

Thank you girls for the courage to share🧡💚💙💜

What a wondetful session. You are both so articulate. I have tapped with Brad many times but had never heatd this particular explanation of the meridians.and what tapping is designed to do. Thank you!

Wow i resonate with this. I got r'ped when inwas 15 by a 23 yr old when i was very intoxicated. After that it sent me spiralling into re creating these toxic sexual experiences that chipped away at my soul. 31 now and have finally started healing .. ❤

<3 <3 <3

I have never related to something more. Thank you for your transparency. This is an issue I’ve been stuffing down for years as I’ve been happily married for years. So I thought there’s no reason to feel the consequences of it anymore but in reality it deeply affects sex in my marriage. He may not know it but I’m extremely dissociated. And I finally got to a point where I’m ready to face down the demons. I had no idea I would find so many people in the same boat.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Great video, thank you so much for sharing. Your bravery goes way beyond mine, and I applaud you for helping to raise awareness of this incredibly sad and complex issue. I have a question - I recently started dating a girl, after a period of celibacy and addressing / reframing my own hypersexual beliefs. The hypersexual behaviour she exhibits is at odds with my newfound values (taking time to truly get to know someone, without the clouding thinking that comes from hypersexualised behaviour), and I am on the verge of breaking things off. She disclosed to me that she is herself an assault survivor, and seeing this video makes it all make sense. Before I break it off, is there anything I can do to help? I understand that the answer is likely ‘no’ and that it is a realisation she needs to reach in her own time (if ever 😢). Just thought I’d try and leave no stone unturned before I do, because I actually quite like her 😊. Thanks for your help!

Yes yes yes until menopause than I didn’t want to be touched at all. My husband is wonderful and understands. He also has a very bad heart and can’t have sex either. I also fantasized about weird stuff very weird. But I never faked organism. It has taken me years. I am 73 now my rage is finally gone. I got saved by Jesus at 37 it took him awhile to get through my thick scull. I used drugs to numb my pain. Sexual abuse by a dad is terrible but Jesus is a healer

OH MY GOD! well that explains alot. Wow...I would always have sex and I was really hyper after being sexually abused. I went into a fantasy world and would always end up fantasizing about a character I liked. I would be turned on and off. I always thought i had to open my legs to please a man and to keep them around. I would instantly lose interest in them. I havent had sex in a year after my trauma with previous ex's and now I can't stand the fact of having sex.

I feel completely identified with your history!! It is really hard to real geal the sexual abuse, only the ones we experienced we know about the real pain around this... I cover my dad sexual abuse for year, it happen when I was 15th..I completely hipersexulized the way to feel me love and care in life... my only value it was the good sex and pleasure I offered to my partners.. at 36 I went to the opposite side.. no desire... and is when I star to figure out something was wrong with me... I always feel a "free woman" because of my sexuality, it was a chase fortunately when this happens I was more aware about body, mind and spirit...emotions and mote connect with my body, I start a healing journey.. still after 10 years... I experience some triggers situations with man's and I reconnect with the anger and all my reality change...because we are just vibration and energy...this day I'm working deeply one more time... I don't want to live in survived mode...I deserve a better life full of love and respect...the journey continue, not being a victim for sure just an observer... it is a journey of self compassion ✨️ ❤️ love for all of us✨️

my girlfriend one day just blerted out that she thinks she slept with over two hundred men...i just listened but her story was so twisted and after listening to you i realize that maybe she doesnt even like sex...and she has tried everything i dont know what i am suppose to do

Im a 58 year old woman who is still doing these things..I need help!!!

Rape culture in the USA protects rapists. I was a high school student. It was not my fault .

Thanks for sharing your experience, it makes a huge difference for thousands of people who try to make sense out of their situation. I can relate to this very much. Everything points that I was molested as a child. Also I've been targeted by pedos online throughout childhood, experienced 2 rape attemps and grooming (online, but it could get painfully real if I was not that corrupted and cynical already). All of those happened before I was 13. And I feel like I've been in hypersexualized stage from the moment I remember myself till 13, when shutdown happened. Always seeking for relationship, constantly making sexual jokes, trying to make men feel this way towards me as a joke/display of power, even registering on tinder when I was around 12. And the worst thing is that I was very much aware. Although I've been feeding on other's sexual attention, I've never felt this way towards them. It seemed absurd to me. So I started to think that I'm asexual. I never understood sex and I still don't. Then horrible shutdown happened when I was 13, I couldn't look at myself naked, and had very hard time accepting that I was a woman. I tried to have some sexual relationship with women online (I was 14 at this point) , and although this time my active will and consent was involved, I still felt very odd. I pretended to understand and enjoy sexual things, but it felt pathetic and miserable. So I stopped trying altogether. I'm 19 at the moment, I get help from psychotherapist and use medications for depression and anxiety. The funny thing is that though I'm an adult now, I feel like my perception of sexuality didn't change much since I was 9, and it's a very concerning thought. I'm not sure if I'm actually asexual, and I want to try to make love with someone I'll truly love and who will love and appreciate me in return, but it's nearly impossible because of the circumstances that surround me at the moment. I want to heal. But it feels like I will need years of hard work to understand myself and be able to have healthy wholesome relationship.

This was really informative - thank you so much. I’ve struggled with aspect of my life for so long. ♥️💜

😞

I was molested by my own father from 6 to 17. I got pregnant with his child at 14 and had a miscarriage. My mom knew it was going on and doesn’t admit it to this day that she knew. With all the said, my adult sex life had porn star moments, and the next day would have me in tears because that person didn’t love me. I thought sex equaled love because that’s what I was taught. And I didn’t want somebody to prove they didn’t love me so I gave them sex. Willingly. Now, at 51, I am learning to love myself with God‘s help. Celibacy is the best thing you can possibly do for yourself to learn how to love and be loved to learn how to respect yourself properly and have good boundaries. Follow how God wants you to live your life and everything will fall into place. He knows best. He made us.

Both I have experience and i didn't even know this exist now im researching what im feeling after my sexual abuse at 12 now im 42 i previously had sexual experiences that wasn't fulfilling because of the childhood experiences of molestation now im forgiving myself practicing self control not date anyone not sexual or masterbation anything to really heal and gain knowledge and understanding about self. Thanks for the video god bless. I love that being a sexual survivor led me here as an adult

I turned to hypsexuality. I'm now 34 and still dealing with these issues.

I agree 100% with Manda’s description at the start: “if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s really a no.” But it’s a heartbreaking reminder for me, tbh. Because some people like me are so disgusting and repulsive that no one would ever give an enthusiastic yes. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything lol, it’s just a hard fact of life that some people need to live with. Anyways, great video, Extremely important!

WORD

This is due to dysfunction within Families, and corporations. Lack of empathy is the issue here ...

This is so accurate. I was raped when I was 15. It was the absolute worst. I covered my body for the first several years. I became hyper sexualized. I was recently raped again and I’m 50. I’m suffering greatly. I’ve gained weight, have CPTSD and these awful experiences lead to epic health issues. I’m glad you addressed this. No one talks about this aspect of this end result we acquire via sexual trauma.

Wooooow. I relate to this so much and you really make me want to share my story.

Thats called Sex co-dependency. I have attracted all my life sex addicts no matter if on dating apps or just outdoors, on trips always. Until i was raped, that was the turning point. I believe it can be traced back to narcissistic parents, They also taught me to obbey men to serve men regardless of my needs, my No-s were always unaccepted i was punished when i once said no. There was that book in a clinic the addict and the codependent. I realized it, i was feeling unloved unworthy of love, so i tried to fix all being brave and giving lots of sex. It was like she said, never for my own pleasure, it was just to please them, to make them stay, to stop them from abusing me verbally as many of my exes were narcissists. It was a control mechanism ti feel alive. I went to SLAA only at the peak of my suffering when i was raped. I understood that they were sick sex addiction is not sth to ignore or cure by itself. All were from highly abusive backgrounds. Then i realized I was sex co-dependent, so thata why i ended up with such. After 7 years meetings, I stopped being sex-codependent. Unfortunately, there were sexual abuse and molestation from friends involved, so again the topic narcissism. But i never acted out again. I can recommend anyone SLAA meetings. Its so painful to realize your addictive to pleasing people, but its the turning point. I think 2 major life events can cause sex co-dependence, child sexual abuse as it mistakes it for love and overcompensate it to feel better(self-loothing mechanism) or narcissistic abuse from both parents or especially from the parent of the opposite gender. Was the father a narcissist, the girl will internalize shes only worthy when she gives all of what she doesnt even have, foreign possession of there thoughts, feelings throught the parent. So, it cant be helped until you get to the core where it started. Then she has to rewrite the wrong core beliefs, shes lovable etc. by playing it that way until she believes it

Was sexually abused when I was 8-10 years old, which has led to chronic gratification issues into my adult life. I received therapy very briefly, but unfortunately, not long enough, it's definitely from the sexual abuse I received at 43 finally seeking the appropriate help, my question is from the abuse did a certain part of my brain break the off switch so constant always in the mood and no I never have ventured out of my current marriage it's just the self gratification issue thank god...

Hypersexual is someone whos slutty but in a nicer word term i suppose

As a survivor, how to you define a safe relationship? Comment below to join the conversation! 👇👇

Thanks so much for this. Mine is really weird. It would be normal and healthy for about a year and a half...exactly. Seriously, always a year and a half. Then I would lose interest and turn to porn. Like how weird, right? Here I have a loyal loving partner... and instead of the real thing I turn to porn? So weird. What sucks for me is Im a guy - so there are no resources for men. And you cant just go into random therapy because I would be a trigger - all the classes are for women, and most of their abusers were male. So yeah - definitely can t go into one of those. So the internet is really the only place. So when I shared that I was molested for about 2 years since age 8, I was ready for punishment. All the keyboard warriors you know just saying cruel stuff - I was ready for it. But here's what shocked me: I thought for sure the men were going to be the mean ones and the women would be nice LOL. Oh man, it was the other way around. Every single negative comment, believe it or not, was from a woman. Not a single man had anything negative. Every single man wished me well, was sorry to hear that, etc. And there were some women who were nice as well. But not a single negative comment was from a guy; it was ALL from women. They'd write things like that I was a cuck and a simp, that I was gay, that I asked for it (yeah because a lot of 8 yr olds ask for sex (rolls eyes)) that they were glad I was raped because men rape women all the time, so its about time men were raped, etc. I mean just unreal. All that matters is that my wife is super understanding and supportive. My loved ones are there for me when I need them, and when I think about it, that's really all I need. God bless to you and all who endure this. It sure is one helluva weird and not fun ride, that's for sure.