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:( my parents are fighting rn so i came to this

(this is way longer than i expected.)my mom always tells me it’s my fault my dad has outbursts, because i care and show a reaction, and even when i don’t she says i caused it. she’s gone through so much and i know i can be a horrible person sometimes but i don’t want all of this pain and hatred towards myself and others. every time i get back up i feel like an even stronger wave comes back to push me down. every time i change and become better, happier, something bad has happened. i hope that i can be happy again, truly happy, and… i kind of wish my mom and dad divorce so she can be happy and safe and so i don’t have to hate the air i breathe when i’m around him. (sorry for venting, i really hope all of you find peace and happiness and know that you are loved, if not by anyone around you, i’ll love you, im just some stranger on the internet but everyone deserves love. even my dad… just not from me.)

It's always my fault...

it hurts most when you realize that you were alone from the very start.

Im the worst

i love this type of music, especially js in a calm environment to myself, reading all these comments made me think to myself.. there are so many people alike in this world then we know, and this world is so big yet so small to our point of view, if you think about it we were given life yet don’t want to appreciate it much. i don’t appreciate my life enough and people can bring me down but i want to make it clear that i’m calm in this even if everything is “my fault” never the less, i was struggling on my grip of reality for a moment and it might sound cringe or whatever anyone thinks, but i never got back up, we all js gotta except it that everyone in this world is toxic even if they don’t mean to. but none of this shows maybe other peoples point of views but rather mine, idk guys stay safe out there ❤

What hurts the most is when your the type of person who confuses themselves between whether there the one at fault all the time but those who constantly tell them it’s their fault it’s really those who say that to em that are at fault

Pov: it’s not a pov anymore… u keep making impulsive decisions

i hate and love my parents. I don't know if they actually love me anymore, I'm trying my best to not let this fucking tiredness take over. Please, be fucking patient with me. I fucking hate you dad. Give me a ton of gifts, but I won't fucking forgive you. I'm trying so hard to do what you fucking want you fat ass pig, you don't even say sorry to me or my mom. You just try to distract us with all of these gifts we didn't even ask for, we want a damn apology you stupid egotistical shit, you can't even do anything for yourself except hurting my mom's feelings and blaming her for everything. Please don't hurt her just , please.

something is really wrong with me. when i was 16 i planned to give up on life once i reach 20. i see myself living a dull life and it was really hard for me to get interested in things that others do. all i was thinking the whole day was suicide. i didnt really had close friends and anyone. it just seems so hard for me to blend in because i literally had zero interest in anything. im not interested in having partner, get married, thinking of any career, and about my future. all i know is there's no use to think about it cuz im going to die anyway, there's no future for me. several months before i reach 20, im on the brink of death, in terms of my mental state. i started crying everyday how restless i was, i cant sleep, i didnt have appetite, i just feel like ending my life. one day one man approached me, he is my coursemate. i kept telling him there's something wrong with me, i worried that i hurt him. he said he will still love me no matter what. for 6 months long distance bfr i reach 20, we went through a lot bcs of my mental state and his. the problem that we had made us argue a lot and almost break up because of my selfishness. i was so careless when all i think was death. and i ended up betrayed my own bf. we finally meet after i reach 20. we decided to let go of the past mistakes. everything in my life changed once we were together. i felt happiness and love. we made good memories. we went on trips. we rare cats. he always priorities me. he made sure im okay. he caresa lot about me. even i did mistakes, he always forgive me. since then i started thinking about our future together. i stopped thinking about death. but still something is wrong with me. because of the past mistakes and betrayal i put on him. i hate myself. how could i do that to my own lover? i really love him and yet i did that. because of my past life, my previous suicide thoughts, all affecting our relationship. everytime i think about what i did to him, i feel like killing myself. and yet he still love me and stay with me. now in present im 21, i still keep doing stupid mistakes. why am i so careless? yeah cuz of the suicide thoughts. and yet he still stay with me. i dont deserve him. im scared im ruining him. i need to die man. this cant keep continue. i need to change but i felt like something stopping me cuz of my fucked up mental state. im feeling so scared. i really love him and wanna be with him forever. but i felt like im not at any point where i deserve him. i am literally the worst.

It sucks when you are the one who actually did ruin the relationship.

As the rays or sun strike hit my eyes, I know the day has arise..But I dwell to sleep, covering my eyes before they could weep: Because the sound I try & ignore, stops me from continuing my snores. And when I open my eyes to see the bright sunshine, All I see is my lovely parents fight… What worse could the day begin, slowly the frustration creeps in and as I continue with my everyday chores. The noise continues to increase more and more.. I think fighting was the fun in their life… and so they choose to be together still…. This goes on all day till night, sometimes I think I was born into a fight?? Dad pays for all my expenses, mom fulfills all my tummy sense, but my life is equally hard, because I feel I am with a cook and a credit card, So if your parents love you, love them even more, because you are lucky then someone for sure…

i destroyed my friendship with the people i cared about most. idk what to do without them.

I could be stabbed 7 times, shot 12 times, and backstabbed 34 times and my siblings/friends could have 1 tiny scratch on their hand and I would be blamed....and no one would even see me bleeding, ALL they see is my friends/siblings tiny scratch...

i remember when it was my fault, for sharing my opinion and my reaction. what a world we live in

Back here again yayyyy I'm the problem again, glad I work for something a piece of shit . But ofc I'm just that way it was totally not the bullying, the abuse and the betrayal absolutely not. I'm just becoming the quiet kid that's what will happen, I won't make friends I wont make shit I will just root here till I'm old enough to fk leave this fk contry

“It really wasn’t your fault. He’s useless and a criminal! You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met, don’t tell yourself otherwise!” They don’t understand. Their my friend, but they won’t ever understand what I’ve done.

i meade a big mistake for ruining a relesion ship now im struggle of it i done this 2 times and i cant help my slf but just ascape from it now im just a stupid guy with a big mistake im such a bad persom for this i keep thingking abaut this..

anytime i point out that its always conviently my fault when something goes wrong, she just walks out, i dont know how long she leaves for.

Stay strong 💪 you are loved 🥰 ❤️‍🩹 If you care too much Just find things to improve yourself on and your life

POV: you made a joke now she is done with you

POV: you eat snacks that people say that are yours yours and you don't have to share then get blamed for not sharing and eating to fast

Im so tired and done why is it my fault Im just barely hanging on and trying my absolute best yet it’s not enough it never is and every little move is enough from them to get upset and blame me for their anger I’m tired

I wanna scream and punch things, but at the same time I feel like doing nothing at all.

I think I reached the point where I don't even feel guilt, I know I ruined everything, and I know I will never change. I would love to end it all but i'm too weak. God gave me everything, a nice family, house, food, no traumas at all nor abuse, everything to be perfect and I spat on His face.

POV: your done with trying

i lost them once beacuse of my stupid desitions, and i eventually got them back. but now im stuck in making yet another desition that will change evything. and im scared. so fucking scared of loosing them again beacuse of my hypocrisy. why do i always have to take the last desition? i dont wanna end up alone. i cant handle it. not again. im so tired...

Hi

Feeling tired but not knowing what to do to make you feel better but also not feeling motivated enough to do something about it. Anyways, how is everyone's day? Does anyone need a virtual hug? Here have one - > ⊂(○⌔○)⊃........ (つ≧▽≦)つ

I should've said "we can pass this through togethere, i know we can, im here for you, we will prove them that they are wrong" instead I said the other way around.... "this is all my fault, im sorry" he is so disappointed on me now... i make him disappointed and hurt and sad.....

POV: your crying in your room at 2am listening to this rn

Does anyone know where the picture is from? Thank you in advance to any of you who know the answer!

Im sorry fuck I'm so sorry.... I'll quit everything for you....

why am i this way

The comments here actually made me realize I'm not the only one.

For those who is listening to this music, you’re not alone, you’re so beautiful and deserve a beautiful life. If you want to cry, just cry and tomorrow it will be a day full of sunshine. Don’t let those negative thought kill you. You’re strong!

Funni vent I literally need to suffer in order for everyone to live the good life. Nah nah not the working hard kind of thing it's the living hell thing 😤

I can't tell if it's my fault or their fault, I'm too blind to see the difference.

i realized today that i was bullied so much when i was younger that i think i might have become a bully myself and i feel really bad and I´m actually so sorry...

Why did I make her think I didn't care

A vent cuz my eyes dying to sleep but i cant.. Because of guilty? Im staying with new roommate in my collage. But we dont blend well. So everytime other friend ask me about my roommate im just spit the fact that im not close with my roommate. I told people they dont talk to me. But why i feel guilty about it now? Isnt it true? I only stop trying to talk to them because they treat me half-heartedly each time i try to make a talk. When i ask why, they said its because they dont know what do they have to say to me. For the record, i did try to approach them, really... I only stopped once i felt left out and they seems not comfortable when im around. I just feel guilty because i tell people about this matter between me in roommate. It should just stay between us, shouldnt it? I do not do it on purpose i swear its not that i try to gain people sympathy by telling them about this, it just at the moment it hurts me so much that i need to let it out. But im afraid because of me people have bad perception about my roommate. I shouldnt tell other people anything... I feel like a bad person now and so self-concious about this. Am i a sinner because i let out my frustration? I feel like im playing victim but at the same time.. I really feel like my roommate did me dirty. They're so close with one another yet its even hard to tell me where they're going? I dont even need them to ask me to join them. But it just manners since we live together. Ugh, this suck man. Idk who's at fault now. And probably im the only one who overthinking about this matter. I wish i wasnt like this. My plan now is to clean other perception about my roommates. They're not bad persons. It just we dont talk and we're not friend with each other. Cuz im afraid because of me people will think badly about my roommates. I feel like shit. :)

I really blame myself cause I lost my cat today it's really all my fucking fault.

pov: your head wont actually tell you if you're the problem or not

I don't know why but I'm feeling so much these days guilt,pain,anger i don't know how to control these emotions i just start crying out of nowhere regretting things. It's just so hard to live with guilt like u know sometimes I wish the worst to people I know who hurts me but whenever they're hurt i start tearing up feeling guilty wishing they get happiness not pain like I just can't say bad about others or think bad for them I just end up feeling guilty and wishing that I was never born maybe than people would be happy...

Can someone just invite me to hang out sometime? I always have to ask, nobody asks me.

Im such a terrible person to everyone 😕

Mood

No it’s not my fault.

I messed up it’s all my fault I told my friend that I think someone was manipulating them and it turned into us yelling and I’m sobbing he yelled and told me he had to go and is no longer responding and I feel so bad I just wanted to tell him how I felt now I don’t wanna feel at all

My sister was lisening loud music, so I go to her room and ask her to Turn it down, but she say no, so I wanted go and do this alone, but she starting beating me, so I hit her in Self-defense. My mom come to her room and hit me in face, I just hate being here